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49 Times Creepy Male Coworkers Left Women Completely Baffled
There is no excuse for toxic, rude, or sexist behavior at work. Unfortunately, the sad reality is that it still happens within many companies and organizations around the world. Aside from insulting their coworkers, which is unethical, these people also have a direct negative impact on the business’s efficiency and profits. Talented workers who are discriminated against either get demotivated or jump ship in search of normal workplace environments.
The ‘When’s Happy Hour’ Instagram account recently shared a post, inviting working women to reveal the worst, most bizarre, and ludicrous things their male colleagues have ever said to them. We’ve collected some of the very worst comments that would make anyone’s blood boil. If you want to see what to never ever say at work, scroll down. But be warned, this is beyond frustrating to read.
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#1
In a room full of male colleagues, the (male) CIO asked me to take the meeting notes. I was the 3rd highest ranked person in the room, but the only female. Thank goodness my (male) boss said “ummm, not sure why Lynsey needs to do that, can you explain?”…and the CIO was speechless and another guy volunteered. There are some good ones out there!
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#2
You should make more of an effort at work, put some lipstick on (he was in his 40s and I was 23, it was the first time I met him as I'd only been working there a couple of months). Told him i don't need lipstick to do my job well, but that he could give it a go if he needs to.
The Harvard Business Review points out that there’s a difference between a difficult employee and a toxic one who makes work life miserable for everyone. “I call them toxic because not only do they cause harm but they also spread their behavior to others,” explains Dylan Minor, an assistant professor at the Kellogg School of Management.
Meanwhile, Christine Porath, an associate professor at Georgetown, told HBR that toxic employees have a pattern of “de-energizing, frustrating, or putting down teammates.” She noted that it’s not just about a particular employee being rude—the entire team suffers because of their behavior.
“Oftentimes, the behavior doesn’t run against anything legal so you can’t fire them if others in the organization don’t agree that a line has been crossed.”
#4
My former new Team Manager Indirectly joked and told me I could benefit from reducing my caseload and responsibilities to potentially become a trophy wife if I ever decided to in the future. The next morning he had an hour long meeting with HR and company CEO.
#5
Was told that I look "tired" and then when I said he should not be commenting on peoples appearances at work, proceed to say that his wife "doesn't mind when he comments'". I looked him straight in the eye and said, last time I checked, im not your wife.
#6
A boss told me to spread my legs and then immediately “corrected” it to spread your wings while having a conversation with me about me being promoted. I did get the promotion on my own, a transfer, and he got terminated.
HBR suggests that managers talk to the potentially problematic individual first, in order to try and understand what’s causing their behavior. They ought to follow up with concrete and specific feedback, as well as the opportunity to change for the better. Furthermore, they can look for ways to minimize the interactions between the toxic employee and the rest of the team.
On the flip side, something to avoid doing is bringing the situation up with your other team members. Instead, you should allow them to mention things first and then provide suggestions. You shouldn’t fire the potentially problematic person unless you’ve documented their behavior, how it impacted the team, and how you responded. And of course, you probably have other priorities at work, too. Don’t ignore them just to focus on handling one single issue.
#7
I very politely corrected a male colleague who had misread some data and another male in the room said 'imagine being corrected by a girl! To which I said technically he had been corrected also as he hadn't noticed the error either.
As per People Management, companies should ensure that toxic behavior is “unambiguously unacceptable.” The organization has to be very explicit that they will not tolerate certain behaviors.
“Toxic behaviors can be both verbal and non-verbal and can include isolating individuals, excluding people from meetings or work events, unreasonable job demands that frequently impact personal time and name calling that belittles individuals in front of others. Non-verbal threats such as smirking and eye-rolling can be intimidating. Comments about someone’s size, weight, gender, or age can frequently be dressed up as ‘banter’ but are demeaning and often discriminatory.”
#10
"Sweetie, is there a man in charge?" He said. As I handed him a redline of HIS drawing that I FIXED FOR HIM. I was an engineer, and he got mad I corrected his mistakes.
#11
I was the project lead on a new product launch, and I had a meeting with all the other department heads for schedule coordination and planning and they were all men. One of the department heads who did not know me, walked right up to me and asked: “can you get me a cup of coffee, hun?” I obliged and then proceeded to sit at the head of the table and introduced myself as the project lead for the launch. He sat in silence while awkwardly sipping his coffee for the remainder of the meeting.
#12
My back was hurting so I stretched for like a second. He took this as an invitation to comment on the size of my [private parts] in front of everyone in our open plan office.
What is the very worst thing that someone at work has ever said to you? Have you ever been a victim of workplace sexism? How did your manager, HR, or company react to any issues with toxic colleagues? If you feel up to it, share your thoughts, opinions, and experiences in the comments below.
#13
“Come on, what’s the big deal, young lady?” My boss asking me to have a sip of whiskey at 11 am in his office when I was 7 months pregnant. I wish this was made up.
#14
(I am a chef) “if you go in the walk-in for a minute, I can’t spank that bad mood out of you.” (He was married and my boss)
Second only to the same man walking up behind me in a pantry room and cupping my [private parts] in both hands, and saying “that’s exactly how I thought they’d feel”
When I told the owner, I got fired. This was the summer of 2000
#15
“I’m gonna tell you like I told….(the only other female in office)… Know your place!” We literally ran the facility and he was a newcomer.
#18
When attending the interview of a sales executive, we were taking a 15 min break halfway through…my president asked the candidate if he wanted coffee/tea and the candidate turned to me and asked for a black coffee with two packets of sugar 🙄 safe to say he didn’t get the role.
#20
The owner of the start up I worked at watched me Google search something and said he was impressed “I knew computers”. I built my first website when I was 10 and have worked in tech for 15 years.
#24
“I’m not a m*lester” — and then proceeds to push me into a corner and tries having his way with me. I reported it, I was then victim blamed and shamed and severely victimized by my direct manager and HR manager. PS, the direct manager was also one of his victims.
#25
“Who’s watching your kids?”
To which I respond “Their father”
“Oh. Is he pretty good with them?”
I said “I hope so”
#26
“Shouldn’t you be painting your nails or something?” This was my first job after uni and he was about 20 years older than me… but we had the same job and salary
#27
A much senior and older man told me it would have been nice "to put some sand in the office" so I would feel like I were on the beach and I would take my red dress off
#29
Randomly shoved his phone into my hand and proceeded to show me an [adult] video, asking "is this you?" (He was trying to be funny) - I was ✨traumatised✨
#30
I was eating my lunch and dropped a crumb on my lap, much older male co worker asked “can I lick it off”
#33
Called me “unprofessional” to a superior and then came up behind me and gave me a wet [private part] (licked his finger and stuck it IN MY EAR) at a staff luncheon the following week 🫠 He was the interim head of school, I was his daughter’s English teacher.
#36
Not co worker , but a senior manager and stakeholder. Telling me "Why do you need a promotion? To buy more makeup and lipstick? You're not a guy who needs money to run a family"
#39
My old boss told me to unbutton more buttons (before I had an explant) when having dinner with clients to sell more.
#41
Introducing me to a younger male coworker visiting from another office: "This is Molly. Sometimes she comes in looking nice and other times she looks like a mop," in reference to my curly hair that I sometimes straighten.
#43
Not me but a coworker told me this story. They were in a meeting, and when she recommended something, another person said “why are women even in engineering?”. HR was in the room too but they didn't do s**t.
#44
A man from my work I never actually met because he was in another team, made a fake face book profile and started to speak to me from it. I truly thought it was some friends having a laugh till they wrote to me, “saw you in the tea room today and you ignored me” and I was like hmmm what the H**L! So… fast forward to HR being told about it and his manager said to mine “what do you expect? She’s a woman” few years after this post warning, he started again as a new fake profile as an “artist” and tried to pretend to talk to me about art then accidentally let out that it was him and wow had to go back to HR again…. It was ridiculous. Creep.
#46
One of my colleagues said "how easy it is for women to work you can just go on long maternity leave/vacation whenever you want to" ummm WHAT?
#47
My coworker said I should strip because it pays really well ( I was probably talking about how our company didn't pay enough to realistically live on).
#48
That I have an attitude issue because I won’t speak to him in his private office for 10 minutes everyday
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