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Doctors' time is far too valuable to be wasted. Still, not everyone respects it. Every now and then, whether it's for attention, prescription drugs, or skipping class, people attempt to fake a condition. Only it's not easy to trick someone who's spent years in medical school and even longer treating patients.
So when Reddit user Palmfranz asked doctors to describe the biggest manipulators they met at work, more than 2,000 replies came in. Scroll down to read some of the craziest stories and decide for yourself if any of them actually stood a chance of succeeding. As for the case files? Diagnosis: "Nice try."
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#1
I have allergies to most plants and animals (foods by extension) around me, but for years this went undiagnosed because my mother was so certain I was faking it.
I would feel a great deal of pain after eating a normal meal at school and be sent to the nurse because I was in too much pain to concentrate. For a long time, the nurse also thought I was faking it, but she must have picked up on it at some point because she began taking me seriously.
This pattern persisted with my mother accusing me of faking it and blaming my internal body heat (I regularly wear sweaters regardless of temperature) on my "sick" stomach.
Just after starting high school, the constant trauma to my digestive tract began to take its toll. I would occasionally have to spit up blood (I have blisters in my esophagus due to the allergic reactions which was discovered years earlier when I was projectile vomiting blood one day, but that's another story). I would constantly feel week, be extremely pale, and constantly need to sleep for long periods while my body recovered.
Went to a gastroenterologist, and I am indescribably greatful to that man. After a lot of tests and scopings, he came to the conclusion that my digestive tract was just covered in blisters constantly bleeding, making me sick, and costing a lot of energy to keep up repairs on the daily basis because I wasn't digesting most compounds in my food and instead just damaging the lining on various organs.
Mom was very supportive after that. I have so much gratitude for that man. He saved my life and make special trips to his clinic on his days off whenever I was having severe problems. He gave me his personal supply of diet replacement shake/powder because my insurance wouldnt pay for it. The man did everything in his power to keep me alive. I have never met a more selfless person in my life.
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#2
Lady was in a minor rear-end collision and claimed that she was unable to see ever since the accident. Not just claiming that her vision was blurry, she was claiming no light perception. Safe to say we were a little suspicious based on the mechanism and initial imaging. Called neuro-ophthalmology in to prove she was full of it. You can’t just say, “Patient full of s**t” in a medical record unless they’re there for constipation, but Ophtho was able to write a beautiful not that said just that, without directly saying it.
#3
(Obligatory) not a doctor, but my favorite story from one of these threads said that this lady came in looking for painkillers, saying she was having seizures. The doctor essentially said "you're fine, you're not having any seizures, go home."
This lady flops on the ground and starts writhing around, pretending to have a seizure, before she eventually stops, going "unconscious." The doctor says to the nurse in the room, "She's not actually having a seizure, if she were she would have lost control of her bladder." Right on cue... this lady pisses herself.
#4
"Ugh, I'm in so much pain, but boy does that ibuprofen make my stomach upset. Do you have anything else you could give me that's... different?"
"Mam, I'm a physical therapist, I can't prescribe medications"
This conversation took place while she was nearly nodding off and slurring during therapy, obviously from opiates. Lots of faking takes place to try to score more d***s.
#5
Had a teen patient who was transferred from an outside hospital to the academic center where I was an intern (first year doctor, newly minted from medical school). Claimed no sensation below the waist, no motor control, lost all of her hair a week or so after the illness came on, and had "bubbles" that would swell up and then stool would appear in her urine. Neurology had seen her and they couldn't get reflexes on exam so figured something must be seriously wrong.
Okay, I think - perhaps she has a fast growing malignancy that has grown into her spinal cord, and maybe there's a fistula due to that, and she had alopecia areata totalis as a result. As an intern, it was my job to look through all of the outside records, of which there was a good amount - think War and Peace.
Edit: I wondered if she had cancer that was growing into her spinal cord and cutting off the signals to her legs. Sometimes cancer will cause abnormal connections (fistula) between organs that should not have them, like the bowel and bladder. Alopecia areata totalis is a condition where a lot of scalp hair falls out after a serious illness.
I'm flipping through the records, and looking at the imaging that was done, hoping there would be an MRI of her spine - yes, there it is ... and it's normal. CT scan of her abdomen and pelvis ... normal. Labs ... normal. A bunch of ... normal. Nothing but normal.
Now, when you see someone with real illness that's causing them to have things like paraplegia (loss of sensation and muscle control usually in the legs), and stool in the urine, you expect to see at least some abnormalities, like anemia, elevated inflammatory markers, and the imaging should be highly abnormal. I'm getting the flavor of deceit here.
Urology came by, and I watched as they did a methlyene blue test, where they instilled a special dye in her bladder, and put white gauze in her v****a and a**s with the idea that if there were an abnormal connection, the gauze would be colored by the dye. The test was negative, but she sure felt the catheter go in her bladder. She couldn't help but move her legs. Mom was super disappointed about the results.
Edit: a catheter is placed in the bladder and it is filled with a strongly colored dye that if you look at it wrong will stain your clothes. If there is an abnormal connection betwixt the bowel and bladder or the v****a and bladder any gauze will stain, confirming the presence of said abnormal connection.
Next came the spinal tap, which I was to perform with supervision. Mother was positively gleeful about doing the test, patient less so. I haven't seen that reaction before about that test, and it rings alarm bells. Fluid comes out clear, sent off to lab.
I happen to be on call that night, and I'm called to the room by the nurse. The patient has a catheter in her bladder, and now there's a small bit of fecal matter in the tubing. The patient looks at me triumphantly, and says "see, I told you it happens." For those who don't know, the catheter has a female end to which you attach another tube that's connected to a collection bag. So there's a watertight male-female connection, and I break that open, and there's stool smeared on the male end - but urine doesn't flow there. And I note two dirty brown smears across her gown.
Now I'm an intern, which means I'm kinda the lowest guy on the totem pole when it comes to decision making. It's also my 3rd week, so I've got very little in the way of confidence. I know now that she's faking her illnesses. But I'm not really in a spot where I can up and accuse her and her mom of that. And doctors really do not like to accuse patients of feigning illness, because what if you're wrong?
My attending is of no help. We do two (!) MRI's of her brain and spinal cord. We do a CT of her chest, abdomen, and pelvis. We send heavy metals, 24 hour urine, and even end up doing an EGD and colonoscopy because she was "spitting up blood". This goes on for days and days, and meanwhile when she sleeps, her legs move - everyone can see that. But the attending forges on, not addressing the g*****n elephant in the room, that her reported symptoms are not consistent with any finding at all. We even did somatosensory evoked potentials, which is normal, which means you d**n well can feel your legs despite reports to the contrary.
Edit: we did a boatload of special tests looking for every illness under the sun.
All this testing just further cements the idea in the mother's mind and the patient's mind that "there must be something wrong, you just haven't found the right test". Oddly, however, there's little concern on the mother's part or the patient's part about these rather drastic limitations. There's a great deal of happiness when I announce that we're going to do another lab, or imaging study, or procedure - mostly on the mother's part. But the teen is going along with it too.
Finally, we reach the end of our testing. The attending has me call for a Psychiatry consult (which should have been done from the get-go). The family explodes, because the message now is "it's all in your head (which it is of course)". I get the unfortunate duty of discharging her, informing the family that CPS has been called, and weekly counseling is required, etc. I get called names, the hospital is called names, there's yelling, and I'm standing there in my 4th week of internship with no backup dealing with a situation for which there is no training. Awful, and I don't forgive my attending for any of it. The case was mishandled from the beginning and saddling me with that burden was just a ducking of responsibility.
I was angry at the patient and her mother for putting the patient through everything, and putting me through it as well (I was told to document everything I saw carefully). I was angry because I knew they were faking it, but could not confront them (I had been instructed not to). I was angry because I wanted an answer as to WHY, because it really didn't make sense to me.
Fast forward several months, and I'm called by an out of state area code. It's a resident from another program, who confirms who I am, and tells me that thanks to my documentation, they were able to surreptitiously record this patient.
They'd gone to another academic hospital, with the same symptoms. In the interim, the mother and daughter produced a VHS tape that clearly showed stool coming out of her urethra. Essentially they took p**p and injected it via a catheter into her bladder to buttress this claim of "bubbles". Some astute social worker figured out that they must have been at some other hospital, and obtained records, which included my notes.
So, the resident says, of course the patient would move her legs normally when not being watched. She would disconnect her IV from the pump, suck blood out of the vein, and then claim she was vomiting blood. She would pick out her hairs and say they were falling out on their own. You get the picture.
They confronted her and her mother, and the mother immediately lost custody, and the patient was placed in a psychiatric ward. Past that point I don't know what happened, but I sure wish I could have been there for the confrontation which included video evidence.
So, basically Munchausen by proxy along with Munchausen, and possibly folie a deux (though they knew they were manufacturing illness). Awful all the way around, and no winners.
#6
Not a doctor, but relevant.
My professor was a Paramedic for many years, and people fake a lot of illnesses. Sometimes for d***s and sometimes for attention.
It turns out, it’s really hard to act like you’re unconscious, there is a lot of ways to tell. For example, unless they have practiced, they won’t hit themselves. So if you hold their hand above their face and let go, they will move their hand out of the way of their face.
So, many years ago my professor arrived on a scene where someone “had”a seizure and was “unconscious” in a busy market. He goes and checks the patient and he had good breathing and circulation. My professor was suspicious about he situation because of his years of experience. He lifts his hand and drops it. Sure enough, his hand misses his face and lands above his head. At this point, my professor knows he’s not really unconscious.
My professor leans down and whispers in his ear,
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is we will put you on oxygen and you will wake up, he hard way is we will do CPR and put 3,000 volts of electricity through your heart and it will hurt and you will wake up.”
Simple to say, he woke up with oxygen and walked it off. A miracle!
#7
Not doctor but (accused) faker.
Woke up one day with a weird spotty rash all up my chest and shoulder, had a massive headache and joints hurt. I was still freshly graduated from uni so I remembered the old meningitis test with the glass, did it but couldn't really see of rash went away. Boyfriend called non emergency NHS line (this was like 10 years ago) and they instantly sent an ambulance. I spent the day in hospital being prodded and poked, including a lumbar puncture. Turned out my body is weird and reacted to a 'normal' virus. Was sent home and told to sleep for a few days and I'll be fine.
At home I knew right away something was wrong, every time I stood up my head exploded, I've never in my life experienced that pain (albeit not given birth nor ever broken a bone). I soldiered on for 2 days but it got to the point where I was crawling along the floor because even a slight angle hurt so much. Me being stupidly British I didn't want to go to A&E again so, being Sunday, I went to an out of hours doctor. At the time we didn't have a car so got a taxi. I had to hold back the screams of pain during the 15 minute journey. Finally got to the doctors, I went and lay on the floor right away sobbing hysterically because I genuinely thought I was going to d*e. The most pompous, theatrically 'posh British doctor' saw me and he told me to stop being so dramatic, there was nothing wrong with me and he wasn't going to sign me off work. He told my boyfriend I was probably a d**g user too (okay sure, I'd not showered in like 4 days and was wearing a jogging suit because I couldn't bare to wear anything else... But still). He sent us home after a long lecture about how people our age (early 20s) didn't know what real pain was (?!) and that we just wanted something for nothing.
After another day in pain we called an ambulance, turned out they had mucked up the lumbar puncture and spinal fluid had been leaking out my neck. The pressure was so low they were surprised I was conscious. Ended up getting a cool type of blood surgery that night (they took blood from my arm and put it in my neck, a natural plaster apparently!) and sent me home with a sick note for a month off work and a month of codeine.
#8
Had a patient about 2 years ago. Woman in her late 40s, had a good job, kids in university, divorced. She had insane uncontrollable asthma. No matter what we prescribed, she was having attacks, even wound up in ITU a few times. Went through everything we could think of with the team. Started doing really niche research. Brought her into the hospital as an in-patient to run more tests, etc.
The plan was to see her body's reaction to a steroid. We would take a blood sample before, give the medicine, take another sample, give her more, take another sample, etc.
The first tests showed NO reaction to the steroid. It's something we haven't seen before, nothing in the literature....
Then I see her throwing her garbage away into a large, communal garbage. Odd, nurses + healthcare support workers + ward cleaners are quite good with this. I don't know why I go to investigate, but I do.
Saw a tiny puddle of pink liquid at the bottom of her trash. Her steroids. She was drinking it in front of the nurses, then spitting it out into another solid (as in, not see-through) cup, and throwing that cup away.
I know it sounds obvious, but this woman was super normal and educated and just not someone who I pegged to be literally making herself unwell for attention. And by unwell, I mean to the point of putting her life at risk. Then I realized her kid took a semester off school to come home and look after her because she had such severe asthma attacks so often.
#9
I felt like a faker back in March. I had an abcess on my jaw that I had gone to an urgent care for and gotten two fairly strong antibiotics. Two days later I got in bed after no change in the abcess and started shivering violently like i had a fever so I had my wife take me to the er thinking the infection was maybe spreading.
I told the nurse what was up and they took my temperature which ended up being completely normal. The nurses mood changed and I had a feeling that she thought I was in there looking for pills.
They took me to a room and luckily the dr recognised my symptoms as an allergic reaction to bactrum, one of the antibiotics I was on. He drained the abcess and prescribed me a milder antibiotic and some Vicodin for my troubles.
I told my mom what had happened the next day and she then informed me that I've been allergic to bactrum since I was young. For some reason it wasn't in my records.
#10
This was about 10 years ago when I was a Pediatrics resident. I had a patient from a juvenile detention center admitted for sudden inability to walk or stand. He started peeing brown and it was found he had rhabdomyolysis (severe skeletal muscle breakdown) that was threatening to shut down his kidneys. He had no idea how this happened and claimed he woke up and suddenly couldn't use his legs.
The second night of his admission his mom and sister came to visit. His mom left, but his sister stayed the night in his room. The next morning, I go to his room on rounds to discover this dude boning his "sister" in his hospital bed. Keep in mind this is a Children's Hospital with butterflies on the walls and little kids being pulled in wagons by their parents down the hallways.
Needless to say, all hell broke loose and the truth came out. This "sister" was actually his girlfriend who was implicated in his weapons and d**g charges and who he was forbidden by the court to have contact with. The cops came and dragged her away while she screamed and cussed us all out. Stunned parents of other patients looked on in horror.
The guy's rhabdo eventually cleared and he didn't need to go on dialysis. He started to regain strength in his legs. Before discharge, he finally admitted what triggered the muscle breakdown and his leg weakness- he did 1000 leg squats. All to get released from juvie and see his girlfriend.
I presented the case at morning report the next day and called it " The Sore Shank Redemption".
#11
Saw a guy fake a stroke convincingly enough that he got a very powerful clot-busting medication to try and reverse the effects of the stroke. His story only fell apart when he got a little cocky and started describing some visual symptoms that weren’t consistent with his other symptoms. Repeat imaging revealed his secret.
I thought the neurologist was gonna m****r that guy. Instead we just discharged him back to jail.
Becca not Becky 5 hours ago (edited)
I doubt this one. Part of clot busting criteria is having a head CT scan to verify stroke and the type, which would have shown this guy was faking. Clot busters are for an ischemic stroke. If it's a hemorrhagic stroke, a clot buster would be gas on the fire. Plus it says that repeat imaging revealed his secret, but apparently initial imaging didn't?
#12
We had a young guy come in with severe lower leg pain and a red area the size of your palm over his shin. We start treatment for cellulitis as his story sounds like that, but over the course of four days it doesn't get better or worse, despite very normal blood tests and no fevers. On the fourth day one of the nurses hears a banging noise coming from the toilets, and sees the patient walk out with a metal water bottle. We confront him and he confesses to hitting his leg repeatedly so he could get time off work and pain meds. We discharged him on the spot and gave him a very stern talking to about wasting resources and lying and d**g seeking.
#13
Not a doctor but a buddy of mine had a crazy ex. When he ended it with her she said she was pregnant. Knowing she was a little crazy he wasn't buying it. She sent him a "positive" pregnancy test. Just out of curiosity we googled positive pregnancy tests and clicked images. It was like the third image. So knowing she was full of s**t he just stopped responding but that didn't settle well with her. The next day she went on to send him a very gory, disgusting tale of her having a miscarriage. She was basically describing a horrific, ER worthy medical debacle that somehow she was dealing with all on her own in her room and still having the where with all to type out every single detail. The last text just simply said, "I think it's d**d..."
Don't know about any baby but the relationship most definitely was.
#14
I was a paramedic and picked up a so-called unconscious patient. He passed the sternal rub and the n****e twist test and when I tried the hand drop to the face test his hand hit ground above his head. I told his family that something wasn't right because when I dropped his hand an unconscious patient would hold their hand up in the air. I repeated the test and sure enough he He held his hand in the air. Because of local policy I did have to transport him to the local emergency room. Just before we went into the back of the emergency room with him lying flat on the litter I told my partner "hey let's check on one more time and make sure he's still unconscious." I took his hand and extended it straight up into the air and shaped a bird with his fingers. We walked to the back with his arm straight in the air flipping a bird at the entire emergency department. When I came out of the room a trauma physician ask me what the hell was going on. I told him I was shocked that he didn't recognize an unconscious patient when he saw one. He laughed and told me to get the hell out of his emergency room.
#15
We had a lady come in hysterical after a car accident. At first, we were convinced she had a complete spinal cord injury at the mid thoracic level. (We checked her reflexes, rectal tone, pinprick in the feet, etc.) We got a CT scan.
Normal.
We had no explanation as to why she seemed to be paralyzed from the chest down.
Then she sat right up and vomited. And then immediately went limp again.
We admitted her. Within a day she had fully recovered.
I believe she was subconsciously terrified of being paralyzed and so her mind invented it. I don't believe she was intentionally faking it. After awhile, it just faded away and she was normal again.
One of the weirdest things I've ever witnessed firsthand.
#16
Not a doctor, but had classes with a girl who faked seizures for attention. Ranging from rolling her eyes back and falling over to full on flop like a fish. Definitely aren't any Oscars in her future.
#17
Obligatory not a doctor... I stubbed my toe on a bannister when I was maybe 9-10 years old. After hobbling around for a week complaining literally all the time while my mum thought I was faking, my dad finally gave in and took me to the hospital. Turns out I pushed all the bones in my foot backwards and was on crutches for 2 months. Take that mum!
Earthquake903 3 hours ago
When I was 11 I had an accident in an adult sized ATV. I lost control and the foot rest forced my lower leg into a tree. Neither of my parents took me to the ER. I just literally hopped around school and still had to do dishes by propping my leg up on a chair. I would get rides to and from school thankfully but that was the only assistance I got. At least until the wife of one of my father's drinking buddies (she was a teacher and was asked to bring me home) took a good look at my exceedingly badly bruised right calf. I had been hobbling around for days. Well she took me to the hospital and I ended up staying there for 5 days. They thought they were going to have to amputate. Luckily that didn't happen. But it sure was excruciating. This happened in 1982. I should have been removed from my parent's custody but I wasn't.
#18
Actually the reverse happened to me. I had the swine flu and went to the doctors a few years ago. He basically called me a liar and said I just wanted to get out of school. Immediately afterward I threw up all over him and the room.
#19
Not a doctor, but I worked as an Emergency Room secretary while I was finishing school. There were a few crazy ones, some people would come regularly looking for pain killers (or attention) and make a huge scene every time.
One guy in particular was actually someone I knew outside of work. It was the first time I had seen him there, but I knew he had had a few surgeries in the past, and that he had a lot of qwerks.
Dude comes in with his wife in the odd hours of the night, really worked up, saying his shoulder was dislocated and having painful muscle spasms. Tells me it happens all the time since he had his surgery, had this big story about how he did and when he knew it was separated. We were talking while I checked him in and waited for the triage nurse and he would randomly jump or violently flop in his chair clutching his shoulder for a few seconds, then go back to normal.
Goes back, doc checks him out, says he doesn't have a dislocated shoulder, dude insists, doc takes an xray at his request, no dislocation, and my man loses his mind. Starts screaming at the doctor that he is insinuating he is a liar in front of his wife. Doctor keeps it cool, tells him he's not calling him a liar, just telling him his shoulder isn't separated, and that he can give him IV acetaminophen if the pain is really bothering him. Dude asks if he can have dilaudid pills instead so he can just go home and go to bed. Doc says no, dude loses his mind again, screaming that he is going to sue to hospital and get the doc's license revoked. Doc just says ok and tells him they are finished. Haven't seen the guy since, but we are facebook friends.
#20
Eye doc. When training we had a guy doctor shopping for opiates. Said he got bleach in his eyes and he did, but he put it in here himself. The tip off is always when they ask for a d**g by name. “Last time this happened, Valium worked really well!” He did not get opiates from me, but who knows where he ended up.
PirellisMiracleElixer 4 hours ago
I don’t think Valium is an o****d is it? Maybe you meant vicotin?
#21
Paramedic: my favorite is the Cinncinati Stroke Scale. This is where you describe this new diagnostic test coming out that indicates the severity of the stroke. The way you preform this rest is by explaining it to your partner as you go. First you grab the wrist "unconscious" seizure patient. Then tell your partner a grade 1 seizure is when you hold up 1 arm over the patients body, and if it freezes in place it's a grade 1. Repeat on each of the extremities up to a "grade 4". My record is both arms and a leg, in the air like a d**d cartoon horse as I pushed him into the ER.
#22
Nurse here. We get a lot of people who really like being in hospital and will do anything to stay in (it's the UK so all for free).
I used to work in an elderly care ward which sometimes admitted younger patients. We had a 40 ish year old woman who insisted she couldn't go home because of her persistent vomiting. It took about 24 hours for us nurses to figure out her 'vomit' was juice poured into a sick bowl with a large amount of spit in it. It took the doctors a lot longer.
#23
Not a doc, but I have my own case of faking the s**t out of a sickness when I was in third grade. Woke up one day and got a case of "f**k this I don't wanna go to school". Started coughing (like whooping cough bad). After a few weeks, Doctors told my parents they didn't know what the deal was. Kept faking it. Doctors were like "it might be his adenoids" got them removed. Stopped coughing. Missed a month of school. Didn't have to make up any assignments. Parents still don't know.
#24
Not a doctor but a student. In high school i had to go to a suspension center for bad kids for a few weeks. The instructor once freaked out at a kid about opening a sprite at lunch. Apparently she was allergic to lemons. She then made a point to let every new student know that she was allergic (many students came and went). One day a kid in the class brought a fake plastic lemon, went to the bathroom and rolled it in front of her on his way out. She proceeded to flop on the ground convulsing and "choking" until someone picked it up and said it's a fake.
#25
I’m an Obstetrician and have had numerous women come to Labor and Delivery, sometimes by ambulance, huffing and puffing all the while screaming” I have to lush” and they are NOT pregnant. This is a severe mental disorder called pseudociesis.
#26
I’m a new medical coordinator at my job. When one of our residents (teen girls and boys) has an injury and the nurse isn’t there I have to check them out. A lot of the kids fake for attention. Girl claimed she broke her ankle and was crying and “ow ow ow it hurt it hurts”. Was told she had walked back from the gym fine. I just severely sprained my ankle 4 weeks ago so I told her all I can do is give her ibuprofen, an ice pack, and she needs to rest it and keep it up. Not 30 minutes later she’s walking fine and says the ice pack made it better. I’ve had to learn not to give them to much attention or they just keep “injuring” themselves.
#27
IANAD, though I was once accused of being a faker.
I had a UTI on Christmas Eve a few years ago. Suffered through it for a few hours, thinking it was testicular torsion and eventually ended going to the ER Christmas morning complaining of groin pain. It hurt real bad and I was doing my best to muscle my way though it. The nurse helping me through all of this was pleasant and cheerful and really making the best of a s**t situation.
I eventually asked if there was anything they could do about my pain and got this horribly stern look from the nurse and the friendliness disappeared. She told me in a hateful tone that I'd have to wait until the doctor could see me (turned out to take hours). Meanwhile, I got to sit on a gurney in pain and listen to countless other people come in, all with varying degrees of stories about looking for pills. "My prescription ran out and my doctor is on vacation", "I'm travelling and have this chronic knee problem but forgot my pills at home", etc.
Lauren Caswell 4 hours ago (edited)
It's deadly to be put in that category. Once I was marked as that, but turns out I'd kept presenting because my intestines were slowly dying (ischemic). Apparently I rate my pain way too low (shattered a femur on a separate occasion, wasn't believed for hours till an x-ray came back and they leapt into action as the bone chunk was at risk of dying after waiting so long.) TLDR: never underrate your pain, even if you have a high tolerance.
#28
Not a doctor but this girl in my school lied about having cancer. F*****G CANCER. She would wear a scarf to school bc of the treatment for her cancer and even got called out for lying. Everyone knew but she still kept up with the lies. She was batsh*t crazy.
#29
Had a friend who was on probation and had twice daily breathalyzer tests that he absolutely could not afford to fail.
One night he drank too much, and knew he wouldn't blow clean in the morning. The only excuse he could think of was an emergency room visit.
So in the morning he immediately went to the emergency room complaining of insane amounts of pain in his lower abdomen. Half the day, several expensive tests, and some opiates later, the doctors told him to eat more fiber.
This bought him the time he needed though, so happy ending!
Edit: sorry, I should clarify.
He did not have a portable device. He went to the station every 12 hours, every day, for many months.
Additionally, I don't believe he was ever charged with any crimes involving drinking alcohol. It is close to a decade later now…still no alcohol related crimes, and actually no further crimes I know of. He was originally charged with vandalism, and violated his probation by smoking w**d. The original vandalism was just him and a couple other kids 16-18yo walking across downtown one night, and for some f*****g reason they decided to smash some random windows along the way.
It was very s****y of those guys to do, but, the damaged property got replaced promptly, at the boys expense, while those young guys endured legal situations and personal crisis that will absolutely haunt them forever and destroy a large percentage of their opportunities to follow a decent path. We aren't talking about g*ngs, hardened criminals, d**g dealers, or mean people, just four guys who made one big mistake in their teens.
They used the breathalyzer as both a financial and time related punishment, basically making his probation more difficult on him.
The reason my particular story was a relatively happy ending is because a depressed small town 18 year old didn't spend a significant sentence behind bars because he got too drunk at home one night.
#30
Not a doctor, but a dentist. Had a patient think I would prescribe her oxy for really sensitive teeth. She even pretended to spit out the water in the dental cup and said she was in so much pain and couldnt drink or eat. I gave her advice on sensitivity and treatment alternatives, but she got angry when I said I dont believe her (not the sensitivity part, but the part she needed strong painkillers to get through the day). I finally told her i might not be qualified enough to diagnose her issue, so ill happily write a referral to an expensive neural pain management specialist. She quickly declined and was on her way.
#31
Med student here. Saw this one woman in A and E who self presented. She was placed on a bed in a bay, and claimed she had been hit by a car and was in loads of pain and needed morphine. Except she had no injuries. This lady is well known to come in once a month with various issues and every time she asks for morphine. When the doctors said they could only prescribe her paracetamol or NSAIDs, the lady lost it. She spent the next 3 hours either screaming her head off or loudly fake sobbing, saying she was in pain and needed morphine, that she was going to report us all to the GMC, that she was going to write to her MP... We told her that she needed to vacate her bed because shed been discharged. Well she wasn't very happy with that and screamed saying that we were cruel people, that she was paralysed from the neck down and couldn't walk. One of the junior doctors made the mistake of saying that we'd all seen her walk into A and E, and that started her off again. She claimed that we were all liars, that the security cameras had been tampered with, and when security came to remove her she pissed and s**t herself :/
Moral of the story: don't work in A and E.
#32
Not a doc, but was a CNA on an intermediate cardiac floor. Although I have a couple of stories, my best is the rich guy who came in complaining of chest pain. He wasn't your normal looking d**g seeker. He was youngish, well-groomed, and sounded very educated when he spoke and his doctors did a variety of tests to determine what was wrong. Then things started going downhill. He started taking off his EKG leads and getting aggressive with the aides when we'd have to go in to put them back on. He got one of those patient-controlled pain pumps, but it would only administer a small dose every hour I wanna say. He started screaming at the nurses and aides to get his doctor on the phone to adjust his dosage and refused all vitals checks. Then he accused an aide of stealing his money, which was a large pile of cash on his bedside table that he refused to have security put in a lock box for him. Doctor's ended up throwing his a*s out after 3 days of this (and constant pleading from the aides and nurses) after finding nothing wrong. He had to be escorted off hospital property because he refused to leave.
#33
Me: how bad is your pain in your feet? (I’m a podiatrist)
Patient: 11/10! I need something stronger than this morphine drip
This is while I’m palpating all over his feet and he’s slurring his words and falling asleep. People become the best actors when they want narcotics. Anyone from 20 year old college students to 95 year old grandmas can become narcotic addicts. THEYRE EVERYWHERE!
#34
A guy I know got into a car accident and ended up being transported in an ambulance (nothing broken, just a small bruise on his thigh). He walked into the ER. He had his mom take pictures of him at the hospital holding his leg and immediately posted it on Facebook, thanking people concerned about him. He took off work for weeks.
He posted on Facebook about his leg pain and about the car accident for the next several weeks even though people saw him walking normally.
#35
Not a doctor, but a former health worker at an inpatient psych facility. Had a "depressed" patient whose real problem was a hardcore oxycontin a*******n. He pushed himself around in a wheelchair for his supposed back problems and would literally nod out mid sentence while begging for more oxycontin.
#36
When I was an EMT we transported a patient to a hospital I ddin't frequent in a zone I wasn't used to. a PA came in as we moved her unconcious self to the bed, he goes "ahh yes, xxxxx. unconcious?" we said yes. He picked her arm up and dropped it over her face. she moved her arm so she wouldn't hit herself. he then loudly called her name and said its time to wake up. She acted like a kid getting up for school when they thought it was gonna be a snow day. Nothing wrong with her (physically) psychiatrically? yea.
#37
My mom as a nurse would have to deal with people faking seizures all the time (people looking for a fix) they would call to the doctor to, "Quick! Get the normalsaline!" Normal - Saline is just salt water that does nothing to you, people would immediately stop "seizing" after getting it xD
Edit: A word.
#38
Munchausen syndrome is a factitious disorder, a mental disorder in which a person repeatedly and deliberately acts as if he or she has a physical or mental illness when he or she is not really sick. Munchausen syndrome is considered a mental illness because it is associated with severe emotional difficulties.
#39
A 16-year-old girl arrives at the hospital alone claiming an unbearable allergy. She had surface blisters all over her body. No exam pointed to any problem. Obviously we distrusted her and she accused her own mother of burning her body with cigarette butts. She cried, an actress. Police was called since the hospital reported child a***e. Only after much pressure she begin to fall into contradiction until she was diagnosed with munchhausen syndrome. She was burning her own body to blame and punish her mother.
#40
I once had a patient that had involuntary arm movement in his right arm that started after banging his elbow on a desk. Apparently the next morning he had this repetitive twitch and felt he injured something.
His right arm would jerk to the right randomly through out the day with no specific activity provoking it. The gentleman seemed rather neurotic and honestly, I felt he was clearly faking. Stated he could control it if he attempted to concentrate hard.
I told him, after we ran a whole series of tests, that we found absolutely nothing wrong with his arm that would be causing such an issue.
He stated he found it fascinating and a “mystery” considering (insert another arm jerk), the random movements.
I proceeded to explain how I felt there was another possible explanation... that he could be faking. We argued slightly and he got defensive stating how and why would someone waste so much valuable time on something fake like this.
I told him it would obviously take someone who was very sick, very immature, a person who has no regard for wasting other people’s valuable time. He took offense and proceed to storm out. On the way out he bumped his elbow on my desk and let out a shriek. We shared a deathly stare.
Last I heard he still had a twitch / arm jerk. Who knows. Maybe it was real. Maybe it was fake. Maybe it was fake and that last bumped actually caused an issue.
Oh well. Obviously my time isn’t valuable either. Happy f*****g Friday.
#41
We had a patient come in after a pretty bad car wreck. He claimed the whole time he could no longer feel his legs but we knew better; even his friends were trying to convince him it was all in his head. Eventually to "prove" he was paralyzed he st**bed himself in the leg with a knife from the table next to him. Obviously the faking ended there. We released him to go home. He eventually went on to continue his career as a successful NASCAR driver.
#42
A man lived next door to my parents for many years, over a decade. He had been claiming liability from his employer, a mining company, for a back injury which he claimed total disability arising from. My parents hardly saw him, but they worked for the same company so knew his story. His yard went unmaintained for many years and my parents noticed him out in the yard one day cleaning up all the rubbish that had accumulated, mowing the lawns etc. Not long after that he simply vanished - they never saw him again but apparently the insurance provider had been monitoring him on and off for years, and the one day he decided to clean up his yard an investigator had been parked outside his house observing for just such behavior. A few pictures later and the dude's life got very ugly very quickly.
#43
One of my friends tried to pull a bit of a stunt recently with his (and my) employer. He had been trying to negotiate for some holiday leave, but others at work also wanted that time and had put their applications in earlier. He came over one day with his shoulder all strapped up, saying he had aggravated an old sporting injury. I was quite dubious as he was not showing any sign of it impeding his activities, he appeared not to be in any pain. This was just about the time he wanted for his holiday. Anyway, he fronted up to work with a medical certificate for his shoulder demanding a month off. Work held fast though, told him they would just put him on ''light duties'' (notoriously dull, admin stuff) instead. I saw him that day and he was grumbling about our employer not caring about his health etc etc but the strapping had all gone and it was never spoken of again. I was amazed that he even attempted to do what he did, even more amazed that he thought he could spin me this b******t story.
#44
Pt in the psych floor was faking a catatonic state. Non-responsive to stimulus, but some reflex tests showed it was BS. Since she had been faking for so long she was becoming dehydrated so doc calls the MET to insert an IO line. It's like an IV but it goes into the spongy bone right below your knee. She stayed still through the initial drilling (she was committed) and the MET nurse warned her that if she was faking she was going to feel the initial "flush" of the IO. You basically have to slam fluid in fast enough to make a pocket inside the bone. It's like having a firecracker explode inside the head of your tibia. Well she was still chilling like she was unconscious/ catatonic so he hits the syringe and this b***h's whole body comes up off the bed like 10" all freakin the s**t out but totally aware and oriented. Presto- cured with a few ccs of saline.
Ace 31 minutes ago
I love how in a thread about fakers there are so many fake stories like this one. Sounds like the writer has seen something on a medical TV show and just invented the rest based on this. The procedure described this "IO Line", is an emergency method of getting fluids into a patient when normal IV cannot be used. Oh, and there's no "drilling" involved.
#45
I had a patient once claim that we "fractured her tibial plateau" during a routine gallbladder removal.
She literally just called my office a day or so after the operation and told my nurse that. "You guys fractured my tibial plateau during the surgery."
I called her right back, concerned that (while I knew nothing had happened to her leg in the OR) maybe something had happened after she left the hospital, like falling at home or something. And really all she would say is that her shin kinda hurt.
She didn't even sound upset--it wasn't like she was claiming this and then going, "And IMMA CALL MY LAWYER." She was pretty much nonchalant about it.
I tried to have her come in and get x-rays, or even an exam, and asked her things like, "is your leg swollen, bruised? Is there a wound? Can you walk on it? Is it jutting out at a weird angle with bare bloody bone sticking out? Anything?"
Yeah, no, her shin just kinda hurt a little. But clearly a fractured tibial plateau. Wouldn't come in. Didn't go to the ED, her PCP's office, or anything else. She came to her post op appointment about two weeks later walking under her own steam, nary a limp, and basically acted like the whole episode had never happened.
I still don't know W*F.
#46
I'm not a doctor, but... Once upon a time ago, I was in the ER for reasons (passed out while very pregnant - paramedics insisted I had to go, hated every minute of it.) When I was finally cleared to stand up and walk around again, I made a mad dash (or as mad dash as a girl can while 9 months pregnant) to the bathroom. On my way back to my room, some middle aged guy came out of his room... laid down on the floor (like actually got down properly to lay there) and pretended he passed out.
I shared a W*F look with the nurse at the desk and asked the guy what he was doing. "Oh... uh... I must have passed out!"
Kept thinking to myself, maybe if I had just laid down rather than fall, I could have avoided that whole trip to the ER. When I was finally discharged, I saw the guy again being escorted away.
#47
We have a patient who fakes seizures incredibly convincingly. The disturbing part is that they can tolerate intubation. As in having a tube shoved down your windpipe while a large metal instrument sits in your larynx via your mouth and hoists your throat into the air.
#48
I was a manager at a restaurant and we were in one of our peak hours. One of the servers asked if she could go smoke, I told her not right now we need to get through the rush and clean up then we can run smoke breaks. This is after restaurants went to non-smoking. Well a few minutes later she's laying on the floor having a "seizure". She faked a seizure bc I didn't let her go smoke. One of the many crazy things I've seen. I didn't know a cigarette was that critical.
#49
A tall child came into my office saying he peed too many times per day. Turns out he needed Xanax because he gets nervous on airplanes.
#50
I hurt my wrist playing football. No swelling and I could move it but I knew something was wrong. Went to the hospital, they wouldn't even give me paracetamol. Doctor clearly thought I was faking/exaggerating but did an xray which he said was fine, it's just a sprain and to keep it moving.
10 days after leaving the hospital, they phoned me to say they'd reviewed my xray and I actually had a few small breaks in my wrist and I needed to go back immediately to get a cast.
#51
IANAD, but a Radiography Student. We had a patient come in after a holiday weekend saying that they had fallen while they were out and had possibly broken their ankle. They apparently managed to drag themselves to some shelter where they laid there for 2 days until someone found them.
The first thing that I noticed was that this patient wasn't making the same kind of "in pain" sounds that I normally hear. When we went behind the glass to take the x-ray, they stopped moaning. The second thing I noticed was that although the patient was quite large and the weekend had been very hot, they didn't smell bad and didn't look like they had been sweating.
The x-rays came up and surprise surprise, nothing was broken. They also had a CAT scan that turned up nothing. They were released from hospital two days later.
#52
Not a doctor (I knooooooooow, I know), but when I was being monitored in the mother/baby unit of a hospital, my roomie was batsh*t insane.
Her husband was deployed (and had JUST left. Like...that week) and she wanted him back home so she faked being in labor. She kept dumping water on herself and trying to convince the nurses that her water was breaking. When they'd tell her nothing was happening, she'd pretend like she couldn't speak English.
A week later I was still in the hospital and the nurses were still joking about her.
#53
Paramedic, not a Doctor so my answer is pretty underwhelming. Still, it's fun watching people who fake seizures hold their breath when you crack open an amonia tablet.
#54
Not a doc, accused faker.
My pediatrician when I was 12-16 was an absolute moron. When I was 13, I was having near constant stomach pains. When asked to describe it, I said it felt as if freshly manicured nails were squeezing my insides. I visited my pediatrician four times to address this problem, each time she sent me home saying she couldn’t find anything wrong, and on the final time, gave me a lecture of how there were people in real pain going about their daily life, so I needed to stop faking and get on with mine.
I continued to have this pain until I was about 18 or so, when I discovered the source myself. It’s the stupidest reason, but I was a socially awkward teen, and seeing as I spent a lot of time in public with my peers, I had to hide certain bodily functions: I held in my farts for more than five years. When I graduated high school and spent significantly more time alone at home, I was more liberal with my release of gas. Suddenly, dumba** me noticed that the pain went away after particularly good farts. I had diagnosed what my pediatrician could not. Excessive pressure due to gas build up.
This same doctor sent me away with a UTI at 15, because whatever was causing my pain had to be something “topical, like a lotion irritation or something”. It wasn’t until I was pregnant at 24, with the same pains, that my OB did a simple urine test and told me it was due to a UTI that I really came to understand just how dumb my pediatrician was.
#55
My time to shine.
I was with this one woman who was complaining of abdominal pains. She kept saying there was sharp pains and she kindly asked me to stop. I pulled out and just shook my head. My d**k isn't big to cause any pain so I just left insulted.
What do you think ?
T'Mar of Vulcan 26 minutes ago
My mother had pain and fatigue most of her life. She went through many tests, but no one could figure out what the problem was. Her GP told her she was a hypochondriac, so she wrote to the medical council about him, but nothing was done. Years later, her new GP decided to do allergy tests. Mom had various food allergies that caused inflammation and other symptoms. She suffered needlessly because doctors assumed she wanted attention or medication. She always refused medication!
T'Mar of Vulcan 26 minutes ago
My mother had pain and fatigue most of her life. She went through many tests, but no one could figure out what the problem was. Her GP told her she was a hypochondriac, so she wrote to the medical council about him, but nothing was done. Years later, her new GP decided to do allergy tests. Mom had various food allergies that caused inflammation and other symptoms. She suffered needlessly because doctors assumed she wanted attention or medication. She always refused medication!
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