The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but sadly, not everyone gets to experience the magic of Christmas time the same way. Gathering with relatives can be stressful, preparing a feast for the whole family is exhausting, spending money on the perfect gifts can lead to more holiday-induced anxiety, and there’s always a bit of family drama sprinkled into the festivities. Whether it’s discussing politics, pressuring the younger relatives to get married and have children as soon as possible, or critiquing others for their dietary choices, our families know exactly which buttons to press to get under our skin.
Unfortunately for one woman, her annual Christmas family drama might have not only ruined the holiday, but her engagement as well. Below, you’ll find a painful story that was recently shared on the True Off My Chest subreddit where a woman explains how her cousin managed to upset the whole family with her Christmas “presents”. Let us know in the comments how you feel about this situation, and if you’ve endured your fair share of family drama during this time, feel free to share with your fellow pandas how you manage to get through the holidays. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring some family drama that took place on Christmas, you can find that story right here.
One woman is at a loss after her cousin managed to ruin Christmas, and potentially her relationship, all by handing out tasteless gifts to the men in the family
Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: OFChristmasDisaster
The woman later responded to a few replies and provided additional information on the situation
If you’re not familiar with the site OnlyFans, it’s an internet content subscription service based in London. Essentially, creators earn money by uploading content that their fans pay to see. OnlyFans has a market with chefs, personal trainers and musicians, but the site is primarily used to share adult images and videos. So it’s extremely likely that Anna was asking all of the men in the family, who aren’t related to her, to pay to see her nude.
OnlyFans is a controversial site in and of itself, as not everyone is on board with sex work in general, but that’s not really what the issue here is. The problem is that this woman tried to go behind the backs of her relatives to invite their partners to see her explicit content. I’m sure it is incredibly challenging to build a following on OnlyFans, as it is on every other social media platform. But there are billions of people out there who could subscribe who aren’t in love with her relatives and who she won’t have to see at family gatherings for the rest of her life.
Many creators on OnlyFans prefer to stay anonymous anyway, either by not showing their face or by using fake names and geo-blockers so the account won’t be traced back to them. There are various reasons for wanting to stay anonymous, including the potential of getting hacked, people you know stumbling across the account, the potential of someone trying to stalk you, and the possibility that this side job may clash with your day job.
“Certain careers wouldn’t want to be associated with an OnlyFans creator, either because of the implied reputation or because of the position it would put the creator in,” Follower explains on their site. “Imagine a teacher with an OnlyFans page that was discovered by their students. Not only would it be highly inappropriate but, if the students were malicious enough, it could completely undermine their teaching ability if the images were passed around the school.”
That’s why it’s so surprising that this woman would happily share her OnlyFans information with people that she knows, but instead of being upfront and honest about it, she decided to go behind her relatives’ backs. Now, the fiancé in this story is not blameless either. He could have easily told his partner immediately and thrown away the envelope. But he decided to hide it, implying that he might plan to visit the site later.
Watching porn while in a relationship does not necessarily mean that the couple is having trouble. According to Angie Rowntree, founder and director of Sssh. com—a sex-positive, ethical porn site created from a woman’s point of view, “The fact that one partner enjoys porn does not mean they are trying to ‘replace’ their actual relationship or real-life partner with porn. [It’s] fantasy. It does not depict the ‘every day’ of a real-life relationship, nor does it provide the actual intimacy that makes our mundane partnerships unique and gratifying.” However, honesty is paramount in a relationship. And if one person is going behind the other’s back to view explicit photos and videos of her cousin, that could be considered a red flag.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation down below, pandas. I hope you’ve never had to deal with similar family drama, but feel free to share how you would have reacted in this situation and what steps you think this woman should take next. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing holiday family drama, you can find that right here.
Many invested readers shared their sympathy for the woman, noting that her cousin and her fiancé are guilty here
Please pass the mind bleach for the concept of a “family discount” for only fans 🤮
Suuure, it's "not sexual", Anna. If it's just "artistic", why only straight men you're not biologically related to? She's nearly as bad a liar as OP's (hopefully ex) fiance.
Did I just read that?! WTF?! Who thinks that this is an appropriate gift? She passed it out to male non-family members who were partners to her own family. Oh she knew what this would do. She also clearly has sexual intentions. This is so trashy I can't even grasp it. I could care less about the sex work itself, just the amplified adulterated audacity....
Agreed. I have no problem with sex work but that cousin is just nasty. Also love the amazing alliteration at the end
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What gets me is the "taking sides" by aunts / uncles, although they are "confused." Explain it in real simple language that people pay their niece to take off her clothes. Better yet, show them the website. She wants to embarrass the SO's, embarrass her right back
If someone handed me a card like that in front of my girlfriend/fiance/wife, as soon as I opened it and saw what it was, I would hand it to my partner and ask her to rip it up. I'm not going to hide that I got it (it's not my fault!), and I'm not going to keep it. This is the safest option, I think.
That would be what an honest, faithful boyfriend/fiance/husband would do. OP's (hopefully ex) fiance tried to gaslight her on the subject, probably so he could go drool over OP's cousin.
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Boy that just seems trashy to me. I don't judge any one for having an only fans. But you don't promote it during the holidays and you don't promote it to your families boyfriends. This is just, WOW
Run! Don't marry that guy. 20 years ago, my fiance lied about some bad behavior at a bachelor party. I didn't care about the behavior (he drank champagne off the body of a stripper) as much as his lie about the incident. My friends told me to let it go, he's a nice guy, etc. I spent the next 15 years with a pathological liar, cheater and fraudster. People tell you who they are all the time, and your fiance just told you that he was comfortable lying to your face. You can bet he will do it again and again. It's a terrible foundation for a good marriage and I guarantee you that you will end up divorced. Save yourself from years of misery, financial loss and wasted youth. You deserve better.
Talking ´bout "red flags"... That´s a small token of what will become OP marriage... It´s hard and probably inapropiate to said lightly over the internet to someone to call off her wedding, but... "Kick him in the nuts!"
Just the fact that the cousin has an onlyfans means she most likely has the growing view that porn is harmless and something everyone looks at. The family aspect is obviously messed up, and she clearly recognized the problem by attempting to minimize the sexual aspect. Reality is, people in a trusting, loving relationship shouldn't be going to others for sexual gratification and this incident is pretty telling about the fiancé and other partners involved. Kudos to Rachel's partner for coming clean!
Maybe this is just me - I know many ppl in happy, loving, committed relationships enjoy porn. My s/o of 4+ yrs p much stopped watching after we got together, but I'd have no qualms if he still did occasionally. As long as it doesn't interfere w ur relationship, ruin the sex between u, takes over ur life etc etc. I support sex workers in their right to choose their career, feel safe, be respected as autonomous adults. But to me, subscribing to specific sex workers, essentially buying private content of one individual, being exclusively invested enough to pay monthly to them etc is a whole other realm. It's far more intimate, 1-1, interactive, involved. You have a pseudo-relationship w this person ur so sexually attracted to that u willingly pay to see them naked. It's like asking for a specific person's nudes. I wouldn't be ok w my s/o engaging in that. It's even worse that it's OP's cousin:/ I'd be disgusted if my s/o wanted to pay to see my cousin sexually like that. Unforgivable
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OF discount coupons as Christmas present? Why would you give this gift to your relatives' SOs? And if purely business then why leave the brother's husband out? Also what kind of fiance OP has? Rachel's BF felt weird cause it was. Leaving your blood relatives and choosing only heterosexual males doesn't makes it weird?
Did that cousin fell on her head? Sure, it's just marketing. She gave cards only to straight men in their 20s -30s, who weren't related to her, what a coincidence. Is her life goal to break up relationships of all her relatives? She's utter trash and men like OP's fiancé are not any better.
That would be the end of both relationships for me. She was way out of line and he is a little liar.. Done with both. Both need to learn boundaries and you need to uphold yours.
Consider yourself lucky. You got a sneak peak into your possible future.
How in the world did she think it was going to turn out? Like No one was gonna say anything and just start using her services in secret? Like WTF? She could probably get a lot of people to use her services, I think she must have targeted some of the men because of attraction or secret crush or jealousy etc. so disrespectful on so many levels.
Well Anna's reputation is shot. Not because she had that website and passed around discount cards. She managed to single-handedly break up an entire family. Wow for her! LOL!
Let's just say for s**t and giggles that s**t happens. But how you handle it afterward is what matters. And her fiancé failed it, trashed it and dragged it thru the mud. Period.
So, he flat out tries to gaslight her, making her question her reality and herself? Huge red flag. I hope she breaks up with him for that can be a huge indication of emotional abuse.
Yikes. I think that the cousin is dimwitted at best and malicious at worse. Either way, people play their hands and you walk away, knowing more about them.
Well, one man was perfectlyy capable of feeling how inappropriate this was, so the fault for the relationship fail is not with dumb cousin but with the guys who are keen to look at the tits of a relative. It's good you got a good look at the true colours of your fianace. He's a liar.
NTA drop that sleaze of man your engaged too and don't apologize tell your mom what she passed out... disgusting family member
Oh and as far as the family members taking sides, This is obviously wrong all the way around and anybody who's taking the side of this person who is doing this to make money and presenting it in this trashy manner or something wrong with them as well.. There are no sides to be taken It's just WRONG on EVERY LEVEL to do what she did, PERIOD
I am wondering how Anna would have felt, if these men later tried to connect with her at other family functions? Would she have been angry and insulted? This new attitude of "I'm not against sex workers, " is beyond the pale. Married partners create children, bring home diseases, lie, and ruin relationships. Because of these sex workers.
You are blaming the wrong people here. People do not cheat because opportunity exists. Opportunity (more or less) always exists, sex workers or not. It's the person in a relationship who is choosing to desecrate that relationship.
Load More Replies... I don't really blame anyone who immediately tried to look up the OF page, because holy c**p, that just begs to be confirmed. Any attempt to sign up, use the code, or conceal WHY they were looking up this page would be beyond the pale, but trying to see wtf she was up to is just far too tempting to resist, so I'd forgive the curious, so long as they had no intention of sneaking or becoming subscribers.
Anyone thought the bf might have been extremely embarrassed and was hoping to discreetly get rid of the card later and pretend it never happened? Don't automatically say drop the bf until you know both sides of the story. But definitely distance yourself from the cousin, there is something not right about sharing this sort of thing in the family
Am I the only one who feels a bit bad for the fiancé? Possible thought process: 1/WTF? 2/OK. Is this just me who’s gotten this? What’s going on. I do NOT have a plan for this. 3/Just… don’t say anything, at least not immediately. It will cause relationship drama. It will cause family drama. Hell, it could cause multiple dramas across the family and across multiple relationships if she’s done this with other guys. Don’t act in haste. 4/Oh. So it’s all exploded anyway. And now I’m on the spot. I DON’T HAVE A PLAN FOR THIS AND AM PANICKING WHILST TRYING NOT TO MAKE THIS SHITSHOW WORSE FOR ME, FOR MY PARTNER OR FOR ANYONE ELSE.
He got his pink envelope, opened it and quickly stuffed it in his pocket. Then when asked about it, lied and denied. What else is/did he lie and deny about? He probably planned to check it out after they got home and she went to bed. This cousin would be dead to me, ditch the fiancé and don't let mom pressure you to apologize.
There would have been a fistfight if my husband got handed one of those envelopes.
I come from a slightly different perspective that porn is not bad per se. I view the knee jerk reaction of most women to porn as being akin to satanic panic, antivaccine nonsense, and other moralistic judgements without a lot of factual underpinnings. Some porn is great, but you don't market your s**t to your cousins and their SOs. Incestuous porn, promoted at a family gathering to celebrate a religious holiday, is simply beyond the pale. This woman should be ejected from the family, not because she has an OF page, but because she's deliberately making trouble for her own relatives and attempting to disrupt relationships. She knew what she was doing, and now OP knows that her fiance is sketchy, not because of porn, but because he LIED.Whatever she said to her mom cannot possibly Trump this b***h's antics.
People think it is easy to call of weddings. Absolutely ridiculous. This is what engagements are for: for you to know the person, understand that people make mistakes and decide how to deal with it. Her fiancée was wrong. She probably is a very jealous person. They need to seat down and talk it through and clearly state expectations
No. Call off the wedding. And I don't think op is a "very jealous person". You wouldn't be upset if your cousin handed out her porn to your fiance and then have your fiance lie to your face about getting one? He's a liar and possibly a cheater. They don't need to sit down and have a conversation about nothing, it's off.
Load More Replies... Um well I am not from the US and prostitution is legal here and I find it a bit odd that everyone is so outraged. If you do not know the relationship vibe from Op it is difficult to know what's going on. Is he hiding because he is afraid of a fight? (not good too though). I think everyone is a bit over reacting. It is totally weird but I would find it very funny too.
Anna handed out HER PORN to her MARRIED male in laws (Except the gay one) as a CHRISTMAS GIFT. Op's fiance then lied about getting one. How is this funny?
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I think anybody who makes money with this sort of thing is a real loser and is too lazy to get a real job, I think this woman's fiance is a scumbag and she should dump him, And I think it was totally inappropriate to do this at a "family" gathering , and I think she's a fat liar for saying that it wasn't sexual in nature she just trying to get her business off the ground... She's a liar and a tramp. 💀🔥
If this is going to break her serious relationship then I guess it wasn’t serious at all. Freaking out about her cousin may be reasonable but wanting to break up with her fiancé that’s a bit too much - they need to talk first just the two of them not in a family gathering. Maybe he just didn’t want to make a scene (backfired badly) maybe he wanted to tell her later and even check the account with her. Really her relationship with him seems very weak if she’s freaking out so much about it. As for the cousin - weird af but also hilarious 😂
Did you not notice that he looked her in the face and LIED? Multiple times, as he desperately tried to backpedal and gaslight.
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Why would you say that?? That's as trashy as the cousin's behavior! And, NO, I'm not from W. Virginia! I just hate it when someone uses negative stereotypes regarding states, and people, in general! ;(
Load More Replies... Please pass the mind bleach for the concept of a “family discount” for only fans 🤮
Suuure, it's "not sexual", Anna. If it's just "artistic", why only straight men you're not biologically related to? She's nearly as bad a liar as OP's (hopefully ex) fiance.
Did I just read that?! WTF?! Who thinks that this is an appropriate gift? She passed it out to male non-family members who were partners to her own family. Oh she knew what this would do. She also clearly has sexual intentions. This is so trashy I can't even grasp it. I could care less about the sex work itself, just the amplified adulterated audacity....
Agreed. I have no problem with sex work but that cousin is just nasty. Also love the amazing alliteration at the end
Load More Replies... What gets me is the "taking sides" by aunts / uncles, although they are "confused." Explain it in real simple language that people pay their niece to take off her clothes. Better yet, show them the website. She wants to embarrass the SO's, embarrass her right back
If someone handed me a card like that in front of my girlfriend/fiance/wife, as soon as I opened it and saw what it was, I would hand it to my partner and ask her to rip it up. I'm not going to hide that I got it (it's not my fault!), and I'm not going to keep it. This is the safest option, I think.
That would be what an honest, faithful boyfriend/fiance/husband would do. OP's (hopefully ex) fiance tried to gaslight her on the subject, probably so he could go drool over OP's cousin.
Load More Replies... Boy that just seems trashy to me. I don't judge any one for having an only fans. But you don't promote it during the holidays and you don't promote it to your families boyfriends. This is just, WOW
Run! Don't marry that guy. 20 years ago, my fiance lied about some bad behavior at a bachelor party. I didn't care about the behavior (he drank champagne off the body of a stripper) as much as his lie about the incident. My friends told me to let it go, he's a nice guy, etc. I spent the next 15 years with a pathological liar, cheater and fraudster. People tell you who they are all the time, and your fiance just told you that he was comfortable lying to your face. You can bet he will do it again and again. It's a terrible foundation for a good marriage and I guarantee you that you will end up divorced. Save yourself from years of misery, financial loss and wasted youth. You deserve better.
Talking ´bout "red flags"... That´s a small token of what will become OP marriage... It´s hard and probably inapropiate to said lightly over the internet to someone to call off her wedding, but... "Kick him in the nuts!"
Just the fact that the cousin has an onlyfans means she most likely has the growing view that porn is harmless and something everyone looks at. The family aspect is obviously messed up, and she clearly recognized the problem by attempting to minimize the sexual aspect. Reality is, people in a trusting, loving relationship shouldn't be going to others for sexual gratification and this incident is pretty telling about the fiancé and other partners involved. Kudos to Rachel's partner for coming clean!
Maybe this is just me - I know many ppl in happy, loving, committed relationships enjoy porn. My s/o of 4+ yrs p much stopped watching after we got together, but I'd have no qualms if he still did occasionally. As long as it doesn't interfere w ur relationship, ruin the sex between u, takes over ur life etc etc. I support sex workers in their right to choose their career, feel safe, be respected as autonomous adults. But to me, subscribing to specific sex workers, essentially buying private content of one individual, being exclusively invested enough to pay monthly to them etc is a whole other realm. It's far more intimate, 1-1, interactive, involved. You have a pseudo-relationship w this person ur so sexually attracted to that u willingly pay to see them naked. It's like asking for a specific person's nudes. I wouldn't be ok w my s/o engaging in that. It's even worse that it's OP's cousin:/ I'd be disgusted if my s/o wanted to pay to see my cousin sexually like that. Unforgivable
Load More Replies... OF discount coupons as Christmas present? Why would you give this gift to your relatives' SOs? And if purely business then why leave the brother's husband out? Also what kind of fiance OP has? Rachel's BF felt weird cause it was. Leaving your blood relatives and choosing only heterosexual males doesn't makes it weird?
Did that cousin fell on her head? Sure, it's just marketing. She gave cards only to straight men in their 20s -30s, who weren't related to her, what a coincidence. Is her life goal to break up relationships of all her relatives? She's utter trash and men like OP's fiancé are not any better.
That would be the end of both relationships for me. She was way out of line and he is a little liar.. Done with both. Both need to learn boundaries and you need to uphold yours.
Consider yourself lucky. You got a sneak peak into your possible future.
How in the world did she think it was going to turn out? Like No one was gonna say anything and just start using her services in secret? Like WTF? She could probably get a lot of people to use her services, I think she must have targeted some of the men because of attraction or secret crush or jealousy etc. so disrespectful on so many levels.
Well Anna's reputation is shot. Not because she had that website and passed around discount cards. She managed to single-handedly break up an entire family. Wow for her! LOL!
Let's just say for s**t and giggles that s**t happens. But how you handle it afterward is what matters. And her fiancé failed it, trashed it and dragged it thru the mud. Period.
So, he flat out tries to gaslight her, making her question her reality and herself? Huge red flag. I hope she breaks up with him for that can be a huge indication of emotional abuse.
Yikes. I think that the cousin is dimwitted at best and malicious at worse. Either way, people play their hands and you walk away, knowing more about them.
Well, one man was perfectlyy capable of feeling how inappropriate this was, so the fault for the relationship fail is not with dumb cousin but with the guys who are keen to look at the tits of a relative. It's good you got a good look at the true colours of your fianace. He's a liar.
NTA drop that sleaze of man your engaged too and don't apologize tell your mom what she passed out... disgusting family member
Oh and as far as the family members taking sides, This is obviously wrong all the way around and anybody who's taking the side of this person who is doing this to make money and presenting it in this trashy manner or something wrong with them as well.. There are no sides to be taken It's just WRONG on EVERY LEVEL to do what she did, PERIOD
I am wondering how Anna would have felt, if these men later tried to connect with her at other family functions? Would she have been angry and insulted? This new attitude of "I'm not against sex workers, " is beyond the pale. Married partners create children, bring home diseases, lie, and ruin relationships. Because of these sex workers.
You are blaming the wrong people here. People do not cheat because opportunity exists. Opportunity (more or less) always exists, sex workers or not. It's the person in a relationship who is choosing to desecrate that relationship.
Load More Replies... I don't really blame anyone who immediately tried to look up the OF page, because holy c**p, that just begs to be confirmed. Any attempt to sign up, use the code, or conceal WHY they were looking up this page would be beyond the pale, but trying to see wtf she was up to is just far too tempting to resist, so I'd forgive the curious, so long as they had no intention of sneaking or becoming subscribers.
Anyone thought the bf might have been extremely embarrassed and was hoping to discreetly get rid of the card later and pretend it never happened? Don't automatically say drop the bf until you know both sides of the story. But definitely distance yourself from the cousin, there is something not right about sharing this sort of thing in the family
Am I the only one who feels a bit bad for the fiancé? Possible thought process: 1/WTF? 2/OK. Is this just me who’s gotten this? What’s going on. I do NOT have a plan for this. 3/Just… don’t say anything, at least not immediately. It will cause relationship drama. It will cause family drama. Hell, it could cause multiple dramas across the family and across multiple relationships if she’s done this with other guys. Don’t act in haste. 4/Oh. So it’s all exploded anyway. And now I’m on the spot. I DON’T HAVE A PLAN FOR THIS AND AM PANICKING WHILST TRYING NOT TO MAKE THIS SHITSHOW WORSE FOR ME, FOR MY PARTNER OR FOR ANYONE ELSE.
He got his pink envelope, opened it and quickly stuffed it in his pocket. Then when asked about it, lied and denied. What else is/did he lie and deny about? He probably planned to check it out after they got home and she went to bed. This cousin would be dead to me, ditch the fiancé and don't let mom pressure you to apologize.
There would have been a fistfight if my husband got handed one of those envelopes.
I come from a slightly different perspective that porn is not bad per se. I view the knee jerk reaction of most women to porn as being akin to satanic panic, antivaccine nonsense, and other moralistic judgements without a lot of factual underpinnings. Some porn is great, but you don't market your s**t to your cousins and their SOs. Incestuous porn, promoted at a family gathering to celebrate a religious holiday, is simply beyond the pale. This woman should be ejected from the family, not because she has an OF page, but because she's deliberately making trouble for her own relatives and attempting to disrupt relationships. She knew what she was doing, and now OP knows that her fiance is sketchy, not because of porn, but because he LIED.Whatever she said to her mom cannot possibly Trump this b***h's antics.
People think it is easy to call of weddings. Absolutely ridiculous. This is what engagements are for: for you to know the person, understand that people make mistakes and decide how to deal with it. Her fiancée was wrong. She probably is a very jealous person. They need to seat down and talk it through and clearly state expectations
No. Call off the wedding. And I don't think op is a "very jealous person". You wouldn't be upset if your cousin handed out her porn to your fiance and then have your fiance lie to your face about getting one? He's a liar and possibly a cheater. They don't need to sit down and have a conversation about nothing, it's off.
Load More Replies... Um well I am not from the US and prostitution is legal here and I find it a bit odd that everyone is so outraged. If you do not know the relationship vibe from Op it is difficult to know what's going on. Is he hiding because he is afraid of a fight? (not good too though). I think everyone is a bit over reacting. It is totally weird but I would find it very funny too.
Anna handed out HER PORN to her MARRIED male in laws (Except the gay one) as a CHRISTMAS GIFT. Op's fiance then lied about getting one. How is this funny?
Load More Replies... I think anybody who makes money with this sort of thing is a real loser and is too lazy to get a real job, I think this woman's fiance is a scumbag and she should dump him, And I think it was totally inappropriate to do this at a "family" gathering , and I think she's a fat liar for saying that it wasn't sexual in nature she just trying to get her business off the ground... She's a liar and a tramp. 💀🔥
If this is going to break her serious relationship then I guess it wasn’t serious at all. Freaking out about her cousin may be reasonable but wanting to break up with her fiancé that’s a bit too much - they need to talk first just the two of them not in a family gathering. Maybe he just didn’t want to make a scene (backfired badly) maybe he wanted to tell her later and even check the account with her. Really her relationship with him seems very weak if she’s freaking out so much about it. As for the cousin - weird af but also hilarious 😂
Did you not notice that he looked her in the face and LIED? Multiple times, as he desperately tried to backpedal and gaslight.
Load More Replies... Why would you say that?? That's as trashy as the cousin's behavior! And, NO, I'm not from W. Virginia! I just hate it when someone uses negative stereotypes regarding states, and people, in general! ;(
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