
Couple Steal The Spotlight From Woman Celebrating 30th Birthday By Getting Engaged, Her Friend Ruins Their Moment In Kind
Reddit user Jayjaykmm was happy to attend their friend’s 30th birthday party. The woman clearly cared about it and invested a whole lot of effort (and money) into making it an enjoyable experience for all. However, one couple got a little carried away.
In the middle of the night, they got engaged and completely stole the show. But in a post on the subreddit ‘Petty Revenge‘, Jayjaykmm explained that they couldn’t just let it slide. So they decided to teach the “tacky” couple a lesson.
A couple got engaged at a woman’s 30th birthday party
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
So her friend decided to confiscate the thunder they had stolen
Image credits: Okrasyuk (not the actual photo)
Image credits: jayjaykmm
The want to be noticed, taken seriously, and loved is in our nature but it sounds like these two went too far
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
While we can’t know for certain what were the exact reasons behind this couple’s stunt, for adults, attention-seeking behavior can be both a conscious and unconscious attempt to gain validation or admiration.
Examples of this behavior include:
- Posting excessively on social media, seeming to vie for as many likes and comments as possible;
- Making comments—both online and in-person—that seem calculated to make people feel uncomfortable or cross social boundaries;
- Bragging constantly about material wealth, physical appearances, and personal successes;
- Seeming to act as though everything that happens to you is a catastrophe, even when it is not;
- Engaging in provocative, promiscuous, or exhibitionistic behavior;
- Making frequent self-deprecating comments in an effort to be validated;
- Having what might be described as a “dramatic” personality.
Dealing with attention-hungry people can be difficult
Image credits: Mental Health America (MHA) (not the actual photo)
According to Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D., who is trained in self-psychology, system-oriented therapy, cognitive-behavioral psychology, and mind-body work, there are five effective strategies to deal with a compulsive attention-seeker:
Remove the positive reinforcement for attention-seeking behavior. “As hard as it may be, do not engage when drama is initiated,” Polard said. “Try to stay emotionally neutral and pay attention to your own mind so that you won’t become triggered. If you find yourself getting angry, remove yourself from the situation, doubt that anger is what you want to be, and return to a kinder equilibrium. If possible, remove the platform for attention-seeking behavior, such as the phone.”
Teach how to calm the mind. The psychologist thinks that it can be very beneficial to consult with a therapist who uses mindfulness training as well as anger management and/or read about inner tranquility. “Explain to the attention-seeking person before they get angry that you will give him or her attention only when the anger is under control,” Polar suggested.
Normalize attention-seeking behavior while role-modeling appropriate behavior. “Do not shame him or her. Show the attention-seeker how to advocate for him or herself without going overboard,” the psychologist said.
Go deeper. “If needed, ask for psychotherapeutic help as the attention-seeker needs to understand his or her motives,” Polard said. ‘Pose questions like these: “Instead of trying to get validation from others, what could you do or feel?’ ‘How do people get a sense of self-worth?’ ‘How can we find peace within ourselves?’ ‘What does attention mean for you: becoming alive, feeling worthy, feeling important?’ Help develop an intellectual interest in the drama, which creates a distance to the immediate experience of it.”
Help the attention-seeker connect with and develop his or her strengths to pursue a higher goal. “Often the attention-seeker yearns only to be popular, famous, or admired,” Polard said. “Help him or her apply the identified strengths for a higher goal. Find out what could be fulfilling other than longing for the spotlight.”
Anyone who makes a big announcement or similar at someone elses celebration deserves all the ridicule and humiliation they get.
Yeah my relative went to a wedding while pregnant. Didn't say a word, even pretended to drink (tipped the bartender to make fake drinks). Don't steal anyone's thunder when it might be the one big party they have.
I'm sure the bride and groom genuinely appreciated her behaviour when they eventually found out.
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What kind of friends aren't happy for each other? How sad is it that a person needs to be the center of attention so bad that someone else has to hide who they are to appease that need?
@P Sit I'm glad I'm not your friend. You seem like a person who are willing to steal your friend's thunder if that's what make you happy because you think your friend is supposed to be happy for you.
THAT is class! 😁
This comment has been deleted.
If it is discussed and more importantly, agreed to beforehand, fair enough. That's not the case here or on too many other occasions. I understand the differing opinions but I'm with the O.P. all the way on this one.
I guess it depends on the person because I wouldn’t have cared. I don’t like being the center of attention constantly so I would have been happy to get the attention off me for a bit.
But some people like to throw a party for themselves, the couple could have thrown tier own party. Just because you don't like the attention doesn't mean the birthday girl doesn't deserve it.
While I'm the same way, it's a respect thing. What they did (without asking in advance) was disrespectful to the person that is throwing the party (a fancy one at that) and was gracious enough to invite them. It's a sure fire way to never get invited to any more parties.
I'm kind of with you there. I'd be happy for them. I know that's an unpopular opinion. I would not be angry or vindictive. Why ruin their moment? I get that people feel like they're stealing the show...I understand that point of view. I just don't think that way. Plenty of friends, food, and celebrations for everyone!
If they'd got an OK ahead of time, sure, but those who steal/ruin someone else's celebration should be called out immediately never mind if it ruins their moment that they stole.
I agree. It would make the birthday memorable. I wouldn’t want one guest hurting someone’s feelings because they got a couple minutes of attention. Big deal
Someone's happy engagement moment doesn't invalidate her happy birthday moment.
No but is turned it in to a engagement party the birthday girl paid for and planed.
They may deserve it, but not the person whose celebration it is doesn't. All it did in this case was prolong the attention the proposal got.
If you read it carefully O.P.s friend obviously wasn't happy with the situation. And in far too many cases like this, if "Lia" had called them out they would probably have accused her ruining "their " moment. Like the entitled pricks they are.
OP forgot the part where everyone clapped for her...
Honestly, I don't care if it's true or not. It's entertaining and it's not hurting anyone (assuming the names aren't real names and there's no way to track down the parties involved).
I agree. Bonus is the discussion it can catalyse in the comments, which is where I go when I'm done with the "article". Although, who knows if those are fake too, what with bots and all.
Right? This sounds like creative writing. It could happen but all the dialect just sounds soo exaggerated I think.
Maybe English is not their first language?
Why is this story not real?
Thought the same
Well they did start by saying it took them a week to come up with this story.
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And the part where the groom saw her so empowered that took the ring and proposed to her instead. They've been married for 40 years.
Meh. It would have been better to just ignore the couple and have their big proposal fizzle out, and just continue with celebrating the birthday girl. It's only a big deal if you let it be a big deal.
just because the birthday girl would have ignored them doesn't mean that other guests would have. They literally tried to steal the show.
It says in the story that the engaged couple only had a 'few' people around them, and also 'a lot of the guests looked awkward', so I don't think it would have been too hard to just refocus on the birthday party. And really, what did OP actually do? In the OP's own words 'the party did end kind of awkward', so did her actions really make things a lot better? Yeah, can be fun to ridicule someone who is being obnoxious, but it's not nice to have a special party end on a sour note. I just think, in this case there was a better option.
I think most of the guests realize that. The couple embarrassed themselves. Loudly calling attention to it just brings more unpleasantness. Since OP's friend was deeply upset, I could see pulling those two aside and quietly asking them to leave, but not making a scene.
So did the OP
The OP made the entire night about what a great friend she was. She sounds like a self-entitled jerk.
@Rocco Spot on
I don't agree because there was people congratulating them. If she never did what she done they would have went home with a smile on their face. People was actually communicating with them. They never felt bad they didn't need the whole party to congratulate them as long as they had enough. They literally took the spot light from the host and didn't even care she was sitting across the room being sad. The fact the birthday girl was sad and angry will only boost their entitlement mentality. What the friend did speaking up shut them down. Now not everyone feels like you should respond and make them people feel crappy and thats how i am most of the time. But this situation yeah i definitely would have.
OP stated that the birthday girl went all out because of personal reasons. Well my sister did the same for her 30th because she beaten ovarian cancer. I wish somebody would have propose to someone on her day or announce anything special. A lot of woman that gets Ovarian cancer doesn't make it to 30 years old. It hits hard and fast. So trust me if someone was bold enough to do so they would have ended up in the hospital. If not trust me I have a whole lot of Christian aunties that can make you want to end your life with positive words that is how bad one will feel messing with us. That girl could have been celebrating life. Something could have happened that was serious and for them to do so it was wrong. Her friend did the right thing.
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Everyone is invited. I’m aware that reading news articles and comments might make it easier to get work online. Some assert that since you don’t need to know how to create money, you may fake it. Since I’ve been working on this for four weeks, you can believe me. It’s great that my $860 initial cheque showed up. I hope you tried it. No investments are required from you. Click the page to view it. Choose the first sentence———————>>> 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐞.𝐜𝐨𝐦
Anyone who makes a big announcement or similar at someone elses celebration deserves all the ridicule and humiliation they get.
Yeah my relative went to a wedding while pregnant. Didn't say a word, even pretended to drink (tipped the bartender to make fake drinks). Don't steal anyone's thunder when it might be the one big party they have.
I'm sure the bride and groom genuinely appreciated her behaviour when they eventually found out.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What kind of friends aren't happy for each other? How sad is it that a person needs to be the center of attention so bad that someone else has to hide who they are to appease that need?
@P Sit I'm glad I'm not your friend. You seem like a person who are willing to steal your friend's thunder if that's what make you happy because you think your friend is supposed to be happy for you.
THAT is class! 😁
This comment has been deleted.
If it is discussed and more importantly, agreed to beforehand, fair enough. That's not the case here or on too many other occasions. I understand the differing opinions but I'm with the O.P. all the way on this one.
I guess it depends on the person because I wouldn’t have cared. I don’t like being the center of attention constantly so I would have been happy to get the attention off me for a bit.
But some people like to throw a party for themselves, the couple could have thrown tier own party. Just because you don't like the attention doesn't mean the birthday girl doesn't deserve it.
While I'm the same way, it's a respect thing. What they did (without asking in advance) was disrespectful to the person that is throwing the party (a fancy one at that) and was gracious enough to invite them. It's a sure fire way to never get invited to any more parties.
I'm kind of with you there. I'd be happy for them. I know that's an unpopular opinion. I would not be angry or vindictive. Why ruin their moment? I get that people feel like they're stealing the show...I understand that point of view. I just don't think that way. Plenty of friends, food, and celebrations for everyone!
If they'd got an OK ahead of time, sure, but those who steal/ruin someone else's celebration should be called out immediately never mind if it ruins their moment that they stole.
I agree. It would make the birthday memorable. I wouldn’t want one guest hurting someone’s feelings because they got a couple minutes of attention. Big deal
Someone's happy engagement moment doesn't invalidate her happy birthday moment.
No but is turned it in to a engagement party the birthday girl paid for and planed.
They may deserve it, but not the person whose celebration it is doesn't. All it did in this case was prolong the attention the proposal got.
If you read it carefully O.P.s friend obviously wasn't happy with the situation. And in far too many cases like this, if "Lia" had called them out they would probably have accused her ruining "their " moment. Like the entitled pricks they are.
OP forgot the part where everyone clapped for her...
Honestly, I don't care if it's true or not. It's entertaining and it's not hurting anyone (assuming the names aren't real names and there's no way to track down the parties involved).
I agree. Bonus is the discussion it can catalyse in the comments, which is where I go when I'm done with the "article". Although, who knows if those are fake too, what with bots and all.
Right? This sounds like creative writing. It could happen but all the dialect just sounds soo exaggerated I think.
Maybe English is not their first language?
Why is this story not real?
Thought the same
Well they did start by saying it took them a week to come up with this story.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
And the part where the groom saw her so empowered that took the ring and proposed to her instead. They've been married for 40 years.
Meh. It would have been better to just ignore the couple and have their big proposal fizzle out, and just continue with celebrating the birthday girl. It's only a big deal if you let it be a big deal.
just because the birthday girl would have ignored them doesn't mean that other guests would have. They literally tried to steal the show.
It says in the story that the engaged couple only had a 'few' people around them, and also 'a lot of the guests looked awkward', so I don't think it would have been too hard to just refocus on the birthday party. And really, what did OP actually do? In the OP's own words 'the party did end kind of awkward', so did her actions really make things a lot better? Yeah, can be fun to ridicule someone who is being obnoxious, but it's not nice to have a special party end on a sour note. I just think, in this case there was a better option.
I think most of the guests realize that. The couple embarrassed themselves. Loudly calling attention to it just brings more unpleasantness. Since OP's friend was deeply upset, I could see pulling those two aside and quietly asking them to leave, but not making a scene.
So did the OP
The OP made the entire night about what a great friend she was. She sounds like a self-entitled jerk.
@Rocco Spot on
I don't agree because there was people congratulating them. If she never did what she done they would have went home with a smile on their face. People was actually communicating with them. They never felt bad they didn't need the whole party to congratulate them as long as they had enough. They literally took the spot light from the host and didn't even care she was sitting across the room being sad. The fact the birthday girl was sad and angry will only boost their entitlement mentality. What the friend did speaking up shut them down. Now not everyone feels like you should respond and make them people feel crappy and thats how i am most of the time. But this situation yeah i definitely would have.
OP stated that the birthday girl went all out because of personal reasons. Well my sister did the same for her 30th because she beaten ovarian cancer. I wish somebody would have propose to someone on her day or announce anything special. A lot of woman that gets Ovarian cancer doesn't make it to 30 years old. It hits hard and fast. So trust me if someone was bold enough to do so they would have ended up in the hospital. If not trust me I have a whole lot of Christian aunties that can make you want to end your life with positive words that is how bad one will feel messing with us. That girl could have been celebrating life. Something could have happened that was serious and for them to do so it was wrong. Her friend did the right thing.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Everyone is invited. I’m aware that reading news articles and comments might make it easier to get work online. Some assert that since you don’t need to know how to create money, you may fake it. Since I’ve been working on this for four weeks, you can believe me. It’s great that my $860 initial cheque showed up. I hope you tried it. No investments are required from you. Click the page to view it. Choose the first sentence———————>>> 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐣𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐞.𝐜𝐨𝐦