“AITA For Buying My Fiancée A Lab-Grown Diamond And Refusing To Exchange It For A Natural Stone?”
Traditionally when a couple gets engaged, the man will buy a diamond ring that symbolizes a promise to get married. Usually it’s a diamond ring and people tend to spend quite a lot of money on it to demonstrate their infinite love.
A Reddit user who named his account throwaway1578650 actually spent $20,000 on a diamond ring, but his fiancée was not impressed. When she found out that it was a lab-grown diamond, she refused to accept it and asked for a ‘real’ one, but the man is not willing to do that. It led to the couple getting into an argument so the Redditor is asking if he should concede.
More info: Reddit
A man wants to know if he is being unreasonable for not wanting to exchange a lab-grown diamond for a natural one at the request of his fiancée
Image credits: Erin (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) and his girlfriend have been together for 5 years and he thought it was time to become engaged. He proposed and the girlfriend became his fiancée. Everything seemed fine, they were happy but the fiancée was curious how much money the OP spent on the ring.
He didn’t hide it and said it cost $20,000. He has been saving this money for 10 years, though it was originally meant for a kit car; however, he decided to invest it in the relationship, as the fiancée wanted a small wedding, so he thought it was worth splurging on the ring. Also, they both work as MDs and their financial situation is pretty stable.
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The OP searched for the diamond for several months and spent $20,000 on a 3.6-carat diamond
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The fiancé was surprised that the Redditor had spent so much for her, but the ring was 3.6 carats, which would usually cost triple that amount, so she quickly became suspicious. The OP showed her the certificate that came with the ring that proved it wasn’t a fake.
What the certificate also proved was that the diamond was lab-grown which was a problem for the fiancé. She was seemingly upset as in her eyes it wasn’t a real diamond.
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The fiancée was happy with it, but got suspicious when she found out its price as it was cheaper than other diamonds of this size
Image credits: throwaway1578650
This is not true as lab-grown diamonds have the same chemical makeup as natural diamonds and they look exactly the same. Thanks to advanced technology, scientists can duplicate the conditions under which natural diamonds develop and there is more control over which color it will come out.
The OP explained this and also added that they are better for the environment and he can be completely sure that it isn’t a conflict stone. Also, it is cheaper but looks the same and has the same chemical structure.
Image credits: throwaway1578650
It was lab-grown so that explained the price, however, the fact that the diamond wasn’t natural upset the fiancée
Image credits: throwaway1578650
This wasn’t convincing for the fiancée and the man was stunned after receiving such a reaction, because he had asked her family and friends if his fiancée would accept a lab-grown diamond, to which they replied she wouldn’t care.
He is worried that there are no guarantees a natural diamond doesn’t come from a conflict area and he would really prefer to keep the lab-grown one, but his fiancée asked if he would exchange it for a natural one of the same value.
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The man explained to her that lab-grown diamonds are as real as natural ones, but she asked if he could exchange it anyway
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The OP is confused why she would ask such a thing because she didn’t even notice a difference until she saw the certification and now she is claiming that she does. So he refused, as he thinks that it is the perfect ring he was searching for for so long, has a good value, and it definitely is not a blood diamond.
He even went as far as saying that he is not against ending the relationship, that wouldn’t make him exchange the ring. Although later in the comments he admitted that he would do it if it meant so much to his fiancé.
The OP disagreed and didn’t think it was necessary as well as because he didn’t want to risk getting a conflict stone
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The OP says that if his fiancée will not change her mind, he will eventually do as she pleases, but in his heart, he feels that’s wrong
Image credits: throwaway1578650
The Redditor asks if he’s being unreasonable and should just give in and exchange the stone. Because it wasn’t only the fiancée who thought that changing the diamond wasn’t such a big deal, but also her friends. The OP likes the idea of exchanging the diamond to a completely different stone but is unsure about how the fiancée would react, however, changing it to a natural diamond doesn’t seem right to him.
What would you do in OP’s situation? Do you think that his principles don’t matter here or do you think that the fiancée should be more grateful? Let us know in the comments.
Most people thought the fiancée was being ungrateful and materialistic for being upset about the diamond
First of all, what is the point of a $20k ring? Is she really going to wear that everyday? Normal people would be frightened of losing it or getting it stolen. Secondly, take the ring back to the shop, get your money back and go and buy that kit car, as your fiance clearly has issues.
Nobody should spend that much money in a ring. I will never understand it.
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It's fascinating that anybody would spend 20,000 for a piece of crystallized carbon that looks more or less like a glass shard. A diamond is durable, I guess, but the advertising industry's ability to convince people that they are exceptionally beautiful is truly a feat of social engineering.
Diamonds are pretty much the biggest sham in history. Thanks De Beers.
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My engagement ring cost approx $50. About a months wages at that time. I didn't choose it, my husband surprised me with it. An engagement ring is given as a token of love not a financial arrangement. We have just celebrated our 50th anniversary and that ring still sits on my finger.
First of all, what is the point of a $20k ring? Is she really going to wear that everyday? Normal people would be frightened of losing it or getting it stolen. Secondly, take the ring back to the shop, get your money back and go and buy that kit car, as your fiance clearly has issues.
Nobody should spend that much money in a ring. I will never understand it.
Load More Replies... It's fascinating that anybody would spend 20,000 for a piece of crystallized carbon that looks more or less like a glass shard. A diamond is durable, I guess, but the advertising industry's ability to convince people that they are exceptionally beautiful is truly a feat of social engineering.
Diamonds are pretty much the biggest sham in history. Thanks De Beers.
Load More Replies... My engagement ring cost approx $50. About a months wages at that time. I didn't choose it, my husband surprised me with it. An engagement ring is given as a token of love not a financial arrangement. We have just celebrated our 50th anniversary and that ring still sits on my finger.
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