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17
Woman Shows Up To Cosplay Party Dressed As Phoebe Buffay, Gets Called Out In Front Of Everyone
Friendships in your 30’s are wild – you go from “we should totally get matching tattoos” to “please RSVP to my themed birthday party” in under 5 years. One minute you’re besties, the next you’re on the group chat blacklist because your costume wasn’t nerdy enough.
One Redditor recently found herself caught in a mix of awkward looks and passive-aggressive digs, when she showed up to her friend’s cosplay-themed birthday party dressed as the lovable Pheobe from “Friends”, but apparently her idea of “favorite character” didn’t quite match the rest of the crowd.
More info: Reddit
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Some guests leave birthday celebrations with party favors, while others take home side-eyes and shaming
Image credits: Friends / Bright/Kauffman/Crane Productions (not the actual photo)
One woman joins her friend’s cosplay-themed birthday party dressed as Pheobe from “Friends”, gets shamed for not trying hard enough
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The woman’s friend, a huge fan of fandom and fanfiction, organizes her 30th birthday party, asking all the guests to show up in cosplay from their favorite series
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman is not into the same genre as her friends, so she shows up dressed as Phoebe Buffay From “Friends”
Image credits: Relative_Set_388
“You definitely might have tried”: The woman is shamed by her friend in front of everyone for not putting enough effort into her costume
The OP (original poster) decided to channel her inner ‘90s icon and arrived in full Pheobe Buffay glory to her bestie’s birthday party, flowy dress, funky layers, guitar energy and all. But apparently, in this group of sci-fi-obsessed, fantasy-loving super fans, a quirky sitcom character didn’t exactly scream cosplay elite.
While everyone else was busy wielding lightsabers or summoning spellcasters, the OP rolled in with Central Perk vibes. And let’s just say, the birthday lady, Rachel, wasn’t thrilled. After side-eying the outfit and offering an “I guess that counts,” Rachel later publicly called the OP out in the most sugar-coated roast imaginable: “you might have tried.” Ouch!
The OP left the party feeling deflated, and the next day, Rachel texted her offering to help pick a costume next time, so she wouldn’t be “embarrassed.” Because nothing says friendship like a side of unsolicited advice wrapped in a shade burrito.
So, is the OP the villain here for not coming dressed as an elf from Middle Earth or some obscure anime character no one outside Tumblr has heard of? Or is Rachel the real problem for turning a fun, inclusive theme into a competition?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be fair, cosplay culture is a thing. Cosplay, short for “costume play”, is basically Halloween, but all year round and with way more hot glue burns. The term itself was coined in Japan in the 1980s, where it took off in anime and gaming circles and evolved into a global phenomenon. Today, cosplay is both a creative outlet and a fandom flex.
It’s not just about throwing on a wig—it’s performance art, fashion design, and fan love all wrapped into one. Whether you’re recreating every seam of a Marvel suit or just vibing in a Phoebe Buffay outfit, cosplay is about embodying a character you love and sharing that love with others. There’s no official rulebook, just passion, effort, and a willingness to be bold, weird, and occasionally covered in glitter.
Phoebe Buffay might not have cast spells, but she did cast a vibe, and that should count for something. Because authenticity isn’t just a buzzword from a therapy podcast—it’s your social survival kit. Being real about who you are, even if that means showing up in fringe and guitar straps, is what makes you magnetic.
People who stay true to themselves tend to have stronger self-esteem, healthier relationships, and way less burnout. The people who matter will always value honesty over conformity. And the ones who don’t? Let them cosplay as decent friends somewhere else.
What do you think of this story? Does dressing up as “Pheobe” count or should the poster have researched the theme better? Drop your thoughts and comments below!
Netizens are divided on this one, some siding with the woman while others say she could have asked for advice before picking a costume
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What do you think ?
Lee Gilliland 7 months ago (edited)
The hostess was definitely the a*shole here - even if she didn't recognize the series, the invitation was "your favorite tv series" not "your favorite SF or fantasy series". How was OP supposed to know? That chuckling " well I guess you tried" was a flat out uncalled for remark.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
And it's not like this was a cosplay competition at a festival or expo or convention or something like this. It was just a person's birthday party. Rachel was extremely rude. Also, not every single person is going to have cosplay/costume materials on hand to dress up as their favorite character, or the funds to BUY costume/cosplay pieces just for one night of dressing up as them. OP sounds like she made an effort in good faith as best she could, and Rachel was just p!ssy that it wasn't as involved and perfect as a full-on Pennywise costume with full face makeup, a wig, and a red balloon.
Load More Replies...
AlexJ 7 months ago
Seems like hostess thinks "your favorite series" means "a series that I, the hostess, like. Not any others". The majority of the series for obvious reasons depict humans looking like humans. Shocker, I know! Even sci-fi series have "normal looking" characters. (As an example, my job banned people from going with costumes on Halloween. Obviously people weren't going with full masks and elaborate things, but some sort of little things like bunny ears, clown noses, etc. I still went dressed as characters from Doctor Who and only the ones who knew, knew). If she wanted something extravagant, she should have said that.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
Was a bit mean girl to publicly shame her instead of remembering she stated "your favourite series" - if she wanted anime, she should have been more clear.
Chewie Baron 7 months ago
I would have gone as Bo Derek then. Wet and naked. Which in my current shape is not something you want to see.
Boo 7 months ago (edited)
OP's friend was rude. Not everyone has a costume (or can afford to buy one) to hand. Not everyone has a cosplay costume. OP used what she had. The party was supposed to be that you come as your favourite character. My favourite character is Ahsoka and if I had the funds, I would go as her. But I'm not spending over £200 for her lightsabres. Not to mention....where would I find her lekku and montrals?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Pool noodles. The answer to cosplay questions for things like that is always "pool noodles" XD
Load More Replies... brittany 7 months ago
one of my favorite shows is The Office. i would have literally shown up dressed as pam and it'd be what i wear on an average day at work. i also like parks and rec. while those shows do have costume moments, its not something id look into buying especially if im only wearing it once. i did attend a harry potter themed bar night once. i dressed as professor trelawney. if you look at the first few pics that come up look kind of bohemian hippy-ish which is basically how i dress outside of work. i teased my hair up real frizzy like and already had big glasses. spend basically the whole night explaining who i was bc everyone else was dressed and the main trio or more recognizable characters.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
I always wear a nametag with a photo and the name of the character I'm cosplaying/dressed up as, for this exact reason XD (Sometimes I'll also add the name of the show/game/etc. as well.) I went to Anime Expo over a decade ago with my friend, and I made a costume myself, of the werewolf character Yuki from the (kinda obscure then because it had just been released) anime called Wolf Children. That way, you don't have to constantly explain who you are to *everyone* - some people will still ask, of course, but if your nametag said "Prof. Trelawney, Divinations Dept." or something, it would probably stave off some of the questions! XD yuki_ax-68...09bd94.jpg 
Kat 6 months ago
I hate costume parties TBH :D if she didn´t say it should be fantasy or SF series, I don´t see a problem with going as Phoebe. It seems a little silly to me, like sure, have a theme party but be happy that your friend showed up and not mad that she doesn´t have good enough costume
Jaya 6 months ago
The hostess didn't need to single her out, but it wasn't as bad as people make it out to be. It sounds like OP went to a cosplay party without dressing up at all. She wore clothes she had in her closet anyway, so to her friends she's just gonna look like her regular self. And if you go to a cosplay party and not dress up, you can't complain that the hostess makes 1 little joke about you not dressing up. It has nothing to do with Friends not being the right genre, it's about just putting on some of your regular clothes instead of making an effort. And the hostess still invited her for next time and said she could help her with her outfit next time because maybe the hostess actually thought OP felt embarassed, not about the choice of series but about the lack of recognizability as the character.
Joe Publique 5 months ago
Imagine having a 'cosplay party' in your 30s and thinking other people should be 'embarrassed'. Sounds like they all have some growing up to do.
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 7 months ago (edited)
The hostess was definitely the a*shole here - even if she didn't recognize the series, the invitation was "your favorite tv series" not "your favorite SF or fantasy series". How was OP supposed to know? That chuckling " well I guess you tried" was a flat out uncalled for remark.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
And it's not like this was a cosplay competition at a festival or expo or convention or something like this. It was just a person's birthday party. Rachel was extremely rude. Also, not every single person is going to have cosplay/costume materials on hand to dress up as their favorite character, or the funds to BUY costume/cosplay pieces just for one night of dressing up as them. OP sounds like she made an effort in good faith as best she could, and Rachel was just p!ssy that it wasn't as involved and perfect as a full-on Pennywise costume with full face makeup, a wig, and a red balloon.
Load More Replies... AlexJ 7 months ago
Seems like hostess thinks "your favorite series" means "a series that I, the hostess, like. Not any others". The majority of the series for obvious reasons depict humans looking like humans. Shocker, I know! Even sci-fi series have "normal looking" characters. (As an example, my job banned people from going with costumes on Halloween. Obviously people weren't going with full masks and elaborate things, but some sort of little things like bunny ears, clown noses, etc. I still went dressed as characters from Doctor Who and only the ones who knew, knew). If she wanted something extravagant, she should have said that.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
Was a bit mean girl to publicly shame her instead of remembering she stated "your favourite series" - if she wanted anime, she should have been more clear.
Chewie Baron 7 months ago
I would have gone as Bo Derek then. Wet and naked. Which in my current shape is not something you want to see.
Boo 7 months ago (edited)
OP's friend was rude. Not everyone has a costume (or can afford to buy one) to hand. Not everyone has a cosplay costume. OP used what she had. The party was supposed to be that you come as your favourite character. My favourite character is Ahsoka and if I had the funds, I would go as her. But I'm not spending over £200 for her lightsabres. Not to mention....where would I find her lekku and montrals?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Pool noodles. The answer to cosplay questions for things like that is always "pool noodles" XD
Load More Replies... brittany 7 months ago
one of my favorite shows is The Office. i would have literally shown up dressed as pam and it'd be what i wear on an average day at work. i also like parks and rec. while those shows do have costume moments, its not something id look into buying especially if im only wearing it once. i did attend a harry potter themed bar night once. i dressed as professor trelawney. if you look at the first few pics that come up look kind of bohemian hippy-ish which is basically how i dress outside of work. i teased my hair up real frizzy like and already had big glasses. spend basically the whole night explaining who i was bc everyone else was dressed and the main trio or more recognizable characters.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
I always wear a nametag with a photo and the name of the character I'm cosplaying/dressed up as, for this exact reason XD (Sometimes I'll also add the name of the show/game/etc. as well.) I went to Anime Expo over a decade ago with my friend, and I made a costume myself, of the werewolf character Yuki from the (kinda obscure then because it had just been released) anime called Wolf Children. That way, you don't have to constantly explain who you are to *everyone* - some people will still ask, of course, but if your nametag said "Prof. Trelawney, Divinations Dept." or something, it would probably stave off some of the questions! XD yuki_ax-68...09bd94.jpg
Kat 6 months ago
I hate costume parties TBH :D if she didn´t say it should be fantasy or SF series, I don´t see a problem with going as Phoebe. It seems a little silly to me, like sure, have a theme party but be happy that your friend showed up and not mad that she doesn´t have good enough costume
Jaya 6 months ago
The hostess didn't need to single her out, but it wasn't as bad as people make it out to be. It sounds like OP went to a cosplay party without dressing up at all. She wore clothes she had in her closet anyway, so to her friends she's just gonna look like her regular self. And if you go to a cosplay party and not dress up, you can't complain that the hostess makes 1 little joke about you not dressing up. It has nothing to do with Friends not being the right genre, it's about just putting on some of your regular clothes instead of making an effort. And the hostess still invited her for next time and said she could help her with her outfit next time because maybe the hostess actually thought OP felt embarassed, not about the choice of series but about the lack of recognizability as the character.
Joe Publique 5 months ago
Imagine having a 'cosplay party' in your 30s and thinking other people should be 'embarrassed'. Sounds like they all have some growing up to do.
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