30 Y.O. Woman Asked To ‘Grow Up’ By Her Boyfriend For Not Doing Any Chores After Warning Him In Advance She Won’t Be Able To
Anyone who has a business will tell you that the couple of months leading up to Christmas are the busiest, but they are also the most lucrative ones. The shopping marathon usually begins in November when Black Friday sales start even before Thanksgiving and it doesn’t stop after, as you have the Cyber Week sales as well. People are hunting for deals to purchase the thing they were eyeing all year and are piling up the Christmas presents.
A woman on Reddit is one of those business owners and she takes this period very seriously because if she works hard now, she can be more relaxed the rest of the year and take the whole of January off. She works so much that she doesn’t even have time to do chores. This is what caused an argument with her boyfriend, even though she warned him that this is how it will be.
More info: Reddit
Business owner works non-stop during November and December without having time to do chores, which is not understandable to her boyfriend
Image credits: Marco Verch Professional Photographer (not the actual photo)
It’s already been about 5 years that the Original Poster (OP) has run her business, so she has her set rhythm which includes grinding during the pre-Christmas period, decompressing in January and having a more relaxed rest of the year, using up the profit made in the November and December months.
During those couple of months, the woman works about 12-18 hours a day and she doesn’t really do anything much more. She meal-preps in October to not waste time on cooking, she doesn’t leave her office so there isn’t much mess and chores to do except washing the dishes (thankfully, she has a dishwasher) and doing laundry, which does tend to pile up.
However, the woman feels that it’s worth going through this intense period as for the rest of the year, she has more free time and has enough savings to live from. The proof that she is successful is that she owns a house and recently, her boyfriend moved in.
The woman has been doing it for about 5 years and knows that if she works hard during those months, she will have a more relaxing rest of the year
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The man has a regular full-time job and works a fixed amount of hours every week. When he moved in, the OP warned him multiple times several months ahead that in the months before the biggest festivities of the year, she will be working so much that he will have to do the chores alone and maybe do hers as well.
The boyfriend had a weird reaction to the OP’s warning, as he didn’t really believe that she would work so much and was pretty dismissive. And when the woman started to work the hours she mentioned and stopped doing chores, the man was upset.
He blew up at her, cussed her out and was yelling behind the locked office door about how it is so unfair that he has to do all the chores by himself.
But when she works 12-18 hours a day, she will not do anything else for those two months
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It is important to point out that the OP was living alone before and the house was never a big mess because she didn’t even have time to cause it. Also, she would do a deep clean in January when she wouldn’t work a single day.
The mess that the boyfriend was talking about was mostly his doing and he was blowing up at the woman for not cleaning it up when she was working more than him, earning more than him and paying for their entertainment during the rest of the year. On top of that, he was warned about it several times.
When her boyfriend moved into her house, the woman warned him in advance and reminded him several times that he would be left alone with the chores
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The readers were appalled at the audacity of the man. Not only because he firstly didn’t believe his girlfriend when she said she would disappear to work for a while and then showing a surprised Pikachu face when she did, but also for cussing at her.
There was nearly unanimous agreement that the woman should kick out the boyfriend from her house for disrespecting her and not supporting her when he is also enjoying the fruits of her labor.
At first he didn’t take too much notice of her warning but when she stopped doing chores, the man was pretty mad
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Although in this situation, people lean toward supporting the woman more because of how much she works and that the mess in the house is mostly created by her boyfriend who clearly disrespects her, in general, it is advised to share house chores equally.
This aspect of a marriage is actually so important that among other things like having shared interests and shared beliefs, 56 percent of married couples including parents and non-parents mentioned sharing household chores as a very important factor to a successful marriage, according to Pew Research Center’s survey.
When the woman told her boyfriend that he can skip her chores and do only his own, he still was angry and cussed at her and yelled at her locked office door
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Another interesting finding is that “Those who earn about the same as their partner are more likely to say the division of household labor is about equal (65%) than those who earn less (52%) or more (51%).”
So the workload outside of the home and the size of a person’s income also has an effect on how the chores are split. “Among those parents who earn less than their partner, 41% say they personally take on more chores than their partner, while just 6% say their partner does more around the house. And among those who earn more than their partner, 29% say their partner does the larger share of chores, compared with 20% who say they personally do more.”
The mess was never an issue when the businesswoman lived alone and she thought the result was worth the sacrifice, but wonders if she was wrong
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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Quartz argues that it doesn’t matter how much the incomes of two people in a relationship differ, but the more important aspect is “the allocation of scarce resources, and finding smart ways to allocate your own scarce resources.” Which means that everything won’t be split 50/50.
It truly depends on the couple and even if, aside from the chore distribution, it seems unfair, maybe it works for the couple. Clearly, it didn’t work for OP’s boyfriend and people’s judgment was that he was guilty. What is your take on this story? Let us know in the comments.
People in the comments were pointing out how disrespectful the boyfriend was and that he knew what was waiting for him, so his protest was stupid
Image credits: osseous (not the actual photo)
This is their second Christmas together, so he must have seen how busy she was the previous year. He's moved into her house, had plenty of warning she will be too busy for chores for a couple of months but has either blanked or ignored or not believed her, she'd already meal prepped rather than rely on him to cook, and is spending the majority of her time working not making messes and he thinks she has to grow up and take care of chores? Well, seems to me the only chore which OP needs to do is get rid of the piece of rubbish who's calling her names.
She even said, he told her in mid November that he didn’t think she was being serious. If some one tells you something is coming MULTIPLE TIMES over the course of MONTHS, why would you not take that serious. I hope OP felt with his dumb a*s!
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Aside from the chores, a partner that can't handle you being busy for a set period of time during which you earn a lot of money (and also no kids are involved) is not a good partner. He didn't take you seriously, and he still doesn't.
Even if I was being unreasonable there is still no way in hell my husband would call me a lazy b***h. When someone SHOWS you who they are. Believe him. NTA. Run. Run far. Run fast. Dont look back.
Yes, RUN, as in KICK THAT SORRY ASSHOLEBITCH OUT! Fucktard waste of atoms+.
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"He said I doubted I worked that much" ... He'd have been out the door at that point. No waiting and seeing 😡
If OP lets the Boyfriend continue living with her suggest that he is welcome to pay for someone to come weekly to clean any thing he was not able to. He needs to pay as OPs mess is minimal. Or he can grow up and wash and clean himself. Yelling and calling names is a justified reason to boot him to the curb. Taking action is not an a$$ hole move in any way. Men acting like children is very unattractive.
I suspect OP was doing far too much prior to her busy season cleaning up after this guy and he’s upset his servant isn’t serving him sufficiently. The name calling is a deal breaker.
I don't see how anyone let's their significant other ever talk to them like that... It is straight up disrespectful. If you can't have an argument with me without using derogatory words, you need to look inside yourself cuz bruh that's an issue. I've been with my wife for 11 years, not once, not once.
NTA. He is the ast. You warned him repeatedly and he chose to ignore you. I am absolutely positive, he has no realistic clue, just how messy he really is! He just was expecting you to help pick up his mess and doesn't like it when his mess comes back to haunt him . Also, such name calling is extremely disrespectful and if he can say this, then there are no limits for him as to how he treats you. Next time he may smack you and tell you, it was your fault. DUMP HIM NOW AND KNOW YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT MAN FOR YOU. This turd is not it!
Here's the proper response. "Oh..ok. I didn't know you were unable to pick up after yourself and that you wanted a mommy, not a girlfriend. There's the door. Get out!" why debate it. If he's moved into your home and expecting you to drop your normal routine to cater to him...he can go live a life where he is only responsible for himself and where he'd have to do 100% of the work himself anyways. Sounds to me like he needs to put his big boy underwear on and suck it up.
Living together is often a prelude to marriage, it looks like this man has failed the test. A relationship, even one without the commitment of marriage, requires compromise and working together. She was clear on what was going to happen and they had been dating long enough that he knew she disappeared for those two months so he should have understood what was going to happen. It looks like she did everything she could to avoid having this be a big burden on him, but if he is making most of the mess that is on him. Who cleaned up after him before he moved in? His mommy? I suspect that OP was actually doing most of the chores and now he is upset because his free maid is not available for a couple of months. Boo-hoo! What a man-baby! Dump him and his mess!
Boyfriend is pissed off that SHE is not cleaning up after HIM. That’s all. If he felt that damned strongly about doing all of his own chores, then HE could’ve hired a maid for two months. But I’m willing to wager she makes way more money than he does, so he can’t afford it. Since it’s HER house, she holds all the cards for booting HIM out. If she doesn’t want to wait until January, then she needs to call in the troops—-family and friends—-to help her get him TF out of HER house, and to stay away, so she can do her job without both wading through his accumulation of filth, and him being a spoiled brat constantly trying to distract her by yelling obscenities outside her closed office door. A man whose SO works will very often get himself in a snit and retaliate by undermining and outright sabotaging her job by creating conflicts to distract her and break her concentration on her professional life—-which is just as important as his, FFS!
She says on Reddit that she thinks she's going to be single on 2023, but has to think about it for another 2-3 weeks
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"He said he doubted I worked that much, but we'll see" This was the first, biggest red flag for me! Devaluing your judgement like that - as if HE should be the judge of how hard your working?! - and of course, leaving the door open to behave like a child later when you're not cleaning up his messes. He needs a wake-up call. You know your limits and your needs and it sounds like you know how to set boundaries. It is not up to him to determine if you're working tbat hard. You set the expectation. It's on him that he chose to devalue and dismiss it
The funny part is that in another article it said he ONLY WORKS 37 HOURS A WEEK!!! Talk about a lazy B**ch!!!!
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When my ex-girlfriend had a small part-time business she ran until midnight every day after her official working hours, I did every chore, prepared meals, and walked the dog without question. I can't understand why women choose an adult child / spoiled kid or an AH abuser for their partner.
Well, she went out with him for years and only now he shows his true colors. It's not the fault of women that men hide who they are for years. Stop blaming women for the c**p that men do.
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I don't usually agree with redditors who immediately jump to "dump him" but in this case....It's Her house. You only call me a "B" one time; and over something like this? When he knows the other 10 months of the year she has plenty of time to spend with him and share the chores. Time to load up his stuff in a moving truck and change the locks. He can pay rent and clean his own place.
He would only have to call me a bit#h once and his A$$ would be out the door. That shows his true color and disrespect for you. Kick him to the curb. He is not going to change at his age. Send him home to mommy.
He doesn't take you or your job seriously, he works full time, boo hoo, I live on my own and manage all year round, I have friends and family who have children, look after elderly relatives and they manage. This will not improve, you know he won't change, he will never 'see' what you do and respect your choices. Show him the door.
She's obviously doing more than 50% of the chores the other 10 months of the year & he's expecting her to continue. PLUS, and this a direct quote from one of OP's replies: "I typically do a deep clean in January. He earns a lot less to an I do though so while we split the bills, I cover all our fun expenses so he benefits from my work as well." She's not only paying 50% of the bills, she's paying for ALL of the 'fun stuff'! This guy is so far out of line, he's beyond the horizon. I really hope she kicks this a$$hole out!
NTA. Omg boyfriend sounds like my ex. Believe me he won't ever change and as long as he's around you'll be miserable.
2 months? Hope he never has a partner with a major illness or injury, because 2 months is a short amount of time to have to do all the chores.
Nope. Ditch, get the man-baby out of your house, forget and move on immediately. If he is incapable of listening to you and refraining from calling you a bίtch in your own goddamned home, there is nothing that can save the relationship. The relationship is now a dumpster fire that cannot be put out. Disengage and remove.
Red flags everywhere! One, he doesn’t listen despite you telling him multiple times which means he doesn’t care which also means he doesn’t respect you. This goes to number two which him calling you a lazy bîtch. This reiterates the lack of respect and the audacity. He lives in YOUR house and he really called you that? Break up. It’s only going to get worse.
Those are very fair points; you're right, maybe she won't have kids at all (goodness knows it's not necessary). I applaud her hard work, because I sure couldn't do that. She is clearly one determined lady
Imagine getting a place to live and disrespecting the owner and also being the messier person living there 💀
NTA. This is your income, the core of your existence and independence. He needs to groww up and accept that seasonal wrok is, indeed, a thing and without people doing it there would be no pre-christmas shopping or tourism. I was in a similar situation with a roommate and eventually just would not sublet my place in my busiest months (May/June) because my place does look like a pig-sty, at that time.
The instant he called you the b word you should have kicked his lazy a*s out.
Of course she only talks about house chores. What is he doing outside the house plus his half of indoor chores? I'm surprised by all the guys responses who don't mention that. GTFOH. So those months before he moved in none of that was done while she worked? These always paint the am I a AH person in the best light.
Any sympathy I would've had for this guy vanished when he started cussing her and standing outside the office door screaming. NTA
Time to send manchild packing. He doesn't have the maturity to be in a relationship
If I was this lady, I would have kicked him out when he called me a lazy b. From what I have been informed of, he sounds like his mommy did a lot of his chores until he was 18. He sounds like he has absolutely no personal responsibility, and expects a woman to just do everything for him. He's showing his true colors, and I think he needs to go bye-bye as soon as he can. You're better than that.
NTA. but the house can get messy even if you dont use it. the shelves still need dusting,carpets vacum cleaning, there can be spider webs etc. Still he can lower the standard and instead of dusting the shelves twice a week he can do it once a week. chores usually dont need to be done every dday so i dont understand so many posts here about how much work they are. like you dont need to clean the bathroom every day or wash your clothes.picking all the chores for 2 months in exchange for more money and having less chores the next month for example is a normal thing. partners should support each other. what if OP gets pregnant or ill? he doesnt listen to her, cannot support her and calls her names. not a keeper. dump him
NTA- who's house is it? Want to live by different rules? Buy your own bloody house you leech.
The boyfriend wants a momma. Throw his a** out. He is ridiculously entitled.
so why are you still with this POS it's not like you are married kick him out of your house and working full time is 40+ hours he works part time f**k this dude
He's moved into HER house, but he's acting like it's HIS because he's clearly of the mindset "he's the man, it's his house regardless" and because of that, he expects her to clean up chores that aren't hers because she's obviously stated that she barely makes any mess and that since he moved in it's gotten A LOT worse. She told him months in advance, and it's their second Christmas together. This wasn't about not taking her seriously or not knowing, it was him blatantly disregarding her work because she's the woman of the house and should do the cleaning of both parties, and since she works from home he isn't taking the job seriously in the first place. She makes more in those two months, and that pisses him off, it's not about her not doing her chores. He called her a lazy b*tch because he expects her to do all the chores for both of them because she works at home and he doesn't, so her job isn't as important to him despite what he's seen in the previous year NOT living in HER house.
I can't believe that she saw the need to ask if she's in the wrong. Girl, put that foolish a*s out of your house!
He called you a B***h . Over something like this in ur home. Kick his sorry butt to the curve.
In hindsight, moving in with her wasn't such a good idea. If she wants to "save" the relationship (which I honestly wouldn't recommend), he'd better move back into an apartment by himself. Apparently he hasn't really learned what it means to live with a partner and then actually listen to him. He even knows from his own experience, how much she works in these two months... and he suddenly acts, as if he had no idea. Also, he makes her life even harder (making more mess and complaining about it), when she's in the most stressing phase of the year, instead of being supportive. After all, moving in together should be "more advantageous" for both partners, than living separately.
As soon as the name calling started (lazy b***h), it was time for him to go. Verbal abuse is real.
If she makes a s**t load of money, why doesn't she hire a maid for her half for two months? Bfs being a t****r, but it's understandable that he hates living in a shithole for two months. Why hasn't this occured to her?
She said she doesn't make much of a mess so a maid wouldn't be worth it.
Load More Replies... The boyfriend is absolutely in the wrong and that's it. But, to be honest, how is it possible for a person to live for TWO MONTHS without doing any chores? Like, what kind of chores are we talking about? Heavy chores, like cleaning the windows, tidying up the garage or everyday chores, like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming? Because I get that she works crazy hours and she doesn't make a mess but I doubt she can keep a bathroom clean and hygienic without cleaning it for two straight months. And how can she eat healthy if all she eats in two months are frozen food? No veggies? No salad? To be honest she should seriously consider hiring a cleaning person for those two months or, here's another idea: since she is so busy and her business is up and running she could ask a friend or someone to help her during those months, so she can cut those hours a little (I'm assuming she can afford it since she can afford not to work for the whole month of January).
She said she cooks and puts her things directly into the dishwasher and does essential laundry and she's a tidy person. She never said she eats frozen meals ever. Meal prep generally means cutting up fruits, veggies and meat, then storing them in the freezer to use Nov-Dec. why should she hire a cleaning service when she got along just fine without one for years. HE is the one that needs one. HE should hire one and lay for it. I don't thing you actually read the article.
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First, maybe she won't have kids and this will never be an issue. Second, work/life balance is in the eye of the beholder. It's up to her what that balance looks like. It sounds like she's determined that this is how she would like to balance her work/life. He doesn't get to decide that for her. He can certainly ask for his needs to be met (ie I don't know if I can handle not spending as much time with you and would prefer something else; or cleaning duties feel so unbalanced during these months, can we talk about a compromise, etc.), but, she’s not obligated to say “yes”. If she says “no” then he gets to decide if the relationship works for him but he can't ask for her to change to his benefit only at her expense. Adult relationships are about compromise, negotiation, and boundary setting. There are no guarantees.
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This is their second Christmas together, so he must have seen how busy she was the previous year. He's moved into her house, had plenty of warning she will be too busy for chores for a couple of months but has either blanked or ignored or not believed her, she'd already meal prepped rather than rely on him to cook, and is spending the majority of her time working not making messes and he thinks she has to grow up and take care of chores? Well, seems to me the only chore which OP needs to do is get rid of the piece of rubbish who's calling her names.
She even said, he told her in mid November that he didn’t think she was being serious. If some one tells you something is coming MULTIPLE TIMES over the course of MONTHS, why would you not take that serious. I hope OP felt with his dumb a*s!
Load More Replies... Aside from the chores, a partner that can't handle you being busy for a set period of time during which you earn a lot of money (and also no kids are involved) is not a good partner. He didn't take you seriously, and he still doesn't.
Even if I was being unreasonable there is still no way in hell my husband would call me a lazy b***h. When someone SHOWS you who they are. Believe him. NTA. Run. Run far. Run fast. Dont look back.
Yes, RUN, as in KICK THAT SORRY ASSHOLEBITCH OUT! Fucktard waste of atoms+.
Load More Replies... "He said I doubted I worked that much" ... He'd have been out the door at that point. No waiting and seeing 😡
If OP lets the Boyfriend continue living with her suggest that he is welcome to pay for someone to come weekly to clean any thing he was not able to. He needs to pay as OPs mess is minimal. Or he can grow up and wash and clean himself. Yelling and calling names is a justified reason to boot him to the curb. Taking action is not an a$$ hole move in any way. Men acting like children is very unattractive.
I suspect OP was doing far too much prior to her busy season cleaning up after this guy and he’s upset his servant isn’t serving him sufficiently. The name calling is a deal breaker.
I don't see how anyone let's their significant other ever talk to them like that... It is straight up disrespectful. If you can't have an argument with me without using derogatory words, you need to look inside yourself cuz bruh that's an issue. I've been with my wife for 11 years, not once, not once.
NTA. He is the ast. You warned him repeatedly and he chose to ignore you. I am absolutely positive, he has no realistic clue, just how messy he really is! He just was expecting you to help pick up his mess and doesn't like it when his mess comes back to haunt him . Also, such name calling is extremely disrespectful and if he can say this, then there are no limits for him as to how he treats you. Next time he may smack you and tell you, it was your fault. DUMP HIM NOW AND KNOW YOU WILL FIND THE RIGHT MAN FOR YOU. This turd is not it!
Here's the proper response. "Oh..ok. I didn't know you were unable to pick up after yourself and that you wanted a mommy, not a girlfriend. There's the door. Get out!" why debate it. If he's moved into your home and expecting you to drop your normal routine to cater to him...he can go live a life where he is only responsible for himself and where he'd have to do 100% of the work himself anyways. Sounds to me like he needs to put his big boy underwear on and suck it up.
Living together is often a prelude to marriage, it looks like this man has failed the test. A relationship, even one without the commitment of marriage, requires compromise and working together. She was clear on what was going to happen and they had been dating long enough that he knew she disappeared for those two months so he should have understood what was going to happen. It looks like she did everything she could to avoid having this be a big burden on him, but if he is making most of the mess that is on him. Who cleaned up after him before he moved in? His mommy? I suspect that OP was actually doing most of the chores and now he is upset because his free maid is not available for a couple of months. Boo-hoo! What a man-baby! Dump him and his mess!
Boyfriend is pissed off that SHE is not cleaning up after HIM. That’s all. If he felt that damned strongly about doing all of his own chores, then HE could’ve hired a maid for two months. But I’m willing to wager she makes way more money than he does, so he can’t afford it. Since it’s HER house, she holds all the cards for booting HIM out. If she doesn’t want to wait until January, then she needs to call in the troops—-family and friends—-to help her get him TF out of HER house, and to stay away, so she can do her job without both wading through his accumulation of filth, and him being a spoiled brat constantly trying to distract her by yelling obscenities outside her closed office door. A man whose SO works will very often get himself in a snit and retaliate by undermining and outright sabotaging her job by creating conflicts to distract her and break her concentration on her professional life—-which is just as important as his, FFS!
She says on Reddit that she thinks she's going to be single on 2023, but has to think about it for another 2-3 weeks
Load More Replies... "He said he doubted I worked that much, but we'll see" This was the first, biggest red flag for me! Devaluing your judgement like that - as if HE should be the judge of how hard your working?! - and of course, leaving the door open to behave like a child later when you're not cleaning up his messes. He needs a wake-up call. You know your limits and your needs and it sounds like you know how to set boundaries. It is not up to him to determine if you're working tbat hard. You set the expectation. It's on him that he chose to devalue and dismiss it
The funny part is that in another article it said he ONLY WORKS 37 HOURS A WEEK!!! Talk about a lazy B**ch!!!!
Load More Replies... When my ex-girlfriend had a small part-time business she ran until midnight every day after her official working hours, I did every chore, prepared meals, and walked the dog without question. I can't understand why women choose an adult child / spoiled kid or an AH abuser for their partner.
Well, she went out with him for years and only now he shows his true colors. It's not the fault of women that men hide who they are for years. Stop blaming women for the c**p that men do.
Load More Replies... I don't usually agree with redditors who immediately jump to "dump him" but in this case....It's Her house. You only call me a "B" one time; and over something like this? When he knows the other 10 months of the year she has plenty of time to spend with him and share the chores. Time to load up his stuff in a moving truck and change the locks. He can pay rent and clean his own place.
He would only have to call me a bit#h once and his A$$ would be out the door. That shows his true color and disrespect for you. Kick him to the curb. He is not going to change at his age. Send him home to mommy.
He doesn't take you or your job seriously, he works full time, boo hoo, I live on my own and manage all year round, I have friends and family who have children, look after elderly relatives and they manage. This will not improve, you know he won't change, he will never 'see' what you do and respect your choices. Show him the door.
She's obviously doing more than 50% of the chores the other 10 months of the year & he's expecting her to continue. PLUS, and this a direct quote from one of OP's replies: "I typically do a deep clean in January. He earns a lot less to an I do though so while we split the bills, I cover all our fun expenses so he benefits from my work as well." She's not only paying 50% of the bills, she's paying for ALL of the 'fun stuff'! This guy is so far out of line, he's beyond the horizon. I really hope she kicks this a$$hole out!
NTA. Omg boyfriend sounds like my ex. Believe me he won't ever change and as long as he's around you'll be miserable.
2 months? Hope he never has a partner with a major illness or injury, because 2 months is a short amount of time to have to do all the chores.
Nope. Ditch, get the man-baby out of your house, forget and move on immediately. If he is incapable of listening to you and refraining from calling you a bίtch in your own goddamned home, there is nothing that can save the relationship. The relationship is now a dumpster fire that cannot be put out. Disengage and remove.
Red flags everywhere! One, he doesn’t listen despite you telling him multiple times which means he doesn’t care which also means he doesn’t respect you. This goes to number two which him calling you a lazy bîtch. This reiterates the lack of respect and the audacity. He lives in YOUR house and he really called you that? Break up. It’s only going to get worse.
Those are very fair points; you're right, maybe she won't have kids at all (goodness knows it's not necessary). I applaud her hard work, because I sure couldn't do that. She is clearly one determined lady
Imagine getting a place to live and disrespecting the owner and also being the messier person living there 💀
NTA. This is your income, the core of your existence and independence. He needs to groww up and accept that seasonal wrok is, indeed, a thing and without people doing it there would be no pre-christmas shopping or tourism. I was in a similar situation with a roommate and eventually just would not sublet my place in my busiest months (May/June) because my place does look like a pig-sty, at that time.
The instant he called you the b word you should have kicked his lazy a*s out.
Of course she only talks about house chores. What is he doing outside the house plus his half of indoor chores? I'm surprised by all the guys responses who don't mention that. GTFOH. So those months before he moved in none of that was done while she worked? These always paint the am I a AH person in the best light.
Any sympathy I would've had for this guy vanished when he started cussing her and standing outside the office door screaming. NTA
Time to send manchild packing. He doesn't have the maturity to be in a relationship
If I was this lady, I would have kicked him out when he called me a lazy b. From what I have been informed of, he sounds like his mommy did a lot of his chores until he was 18. He sounds like he has absolutely no personal responsibility, and expects a woman to just do everything for him. He's showing his true colors, and I think he needs to go bye-bye as soon as he can. You're better than that.
NTA. but the house can get messy even if you dont use it. the shelves still need dusting,carpets vacum cleaning, there can be spider webs etc. Still he can lower the standard and instead of dusting the shelves twice a week he can do it once a week. chores usually dont need to be done every dday so i dont understand so many posts here about how much work they are. like you dont need to clean the bathroom every day or wash your clothes.picking all the chores for 2 months in exchange for more money and having less chores the next month for example is a normal thing. partners should support each other. what if OP gets pregnant or ill? he doesnt listen to her, cannot support her and calls her names. not a keeper. dump him
NTA- who's house is it? Want to live by different rules? Buy your own bloody house you leech.
The boyfriend wants a momma. Throw his a** out. He is ridiculously entitled.
so why are you still with this POS it's not like you are married kick him out of your house and working full time is 40+ hours he works part time f**k this dude
He's moved into HER house, but he's acting like it's HIS because he's clearly of the mindset "he's the man, it's his house regardless" and because of that, he expects her to clean up chores that aren't hers because she's obviously stated that she barely makes any mess and that since he moved in it's gotten A LOT worse. She told him months in advance, and it's their second Christmas together. This wasn't about not taking her seriously or not knowing, it was him blatantly disregarding her work because she's the woman of the house and should do the cleaning of both parties, and since she works from home he isn't taking the job seriously in the first place. She makes more in those two months, and that pisses him off, it's not about her not doing her chores. He called her a lazy b*tch because he expects her to do all the chores for both of them because she works at home and he doesn't, so her job isn't as important to him despite what he's seen in the previous year NOT living in HER house.
I can't believe that she saw the need to ask if she's in the wrong. Girl, put that foolish a*s out of your house!
He called you a B***h . Over something like this in ur home. Kick his sorry butt to the curve.
In hindsight, moving in with her wasn't such a good idea. If she wants to "save" the relationship (which I honestly wouldn't recommend), he'd better move back into an apartment by himself. Apparently he hasn't really learned what it means to live with a partner and then actually listen to him. He even knows from his own experience, how much she works in these two months... and he suddenly acts, as if he had no idea. Also, he makes her life even harder (making more mess and complaining about it), when she's in the most stressing phase of the year, instead of being supportive. After all, moving in together should be "more advantageous" for both partners, than living separately.
As soon as the name calling started (lazy b***h), it was time for him to go. Verbal abuse is real.
If she makes a s**t load of money, why doesn't she hire a maid for her half for two months? Bfs being a t****r, but it's understandable that he hates living in a shithole for two months. Why hasn't this occured to her?
She said she doesn't make much of a mess so a maid wouldn't be worth it.
Load More Replies... The boyfriend is absolutely in the wrong and that's it. But, to be honest, how is it possible for a person to live for TWO MONTHS without doing any chores? Like, what kind of chores are we talking about? Heavy chores, like cleaning the windows, tidying up the garage or everyday chores, like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming? Because I get that she works crazy hours and she doesn't make a mess but I doubt she can keep a bathroom clean and hygienic without cleaning it for two straight months. And how can she eat healthy if all she eats in two months are frozen food? No veggies? No salad? To be honest she should seriously consider hiring a cleaning person for those two months or, here's another idea: since she is so busy and her business is up and running she could ask a friend or someone to help her during those months, so she can cut those hours a little (I'm assuming she can afford it since she can afford not to work for the whole month of January).
She said she cooks and puts her things directly into the dishwasher and does essential laundry and she's a tidy person. She never said she eats frozen meals ever. Meal prep generally means cutting up fruits, veggies and meat, then storing them in the freezer to use Nov-Dec. why should she hire a cleaning service when she got along just fine without one for years. HE is the one that needs one. HE should hire one and lay for it. I don't thing you actually read the article.
Load More Replies... First, maybe she won't have kids and this will never be an issue. Second, work/life balance is in the eye of the beholder. It's up to her what that balance looks like. It sounds like she's determined that this is how she would like to balance her work/life. He doesn't get to decide that for her. He can certainly ask for his needs to be met (ie I don't know if I can handle not spending as much time with you and would prefer something else; or cleaning duties feel so unbalanced during these months, can we talk about a compromise, etc.), but, she’s not obligated to say “yes”. If she says “no” then he gets to decide if the relationship works for him but he can't ask for her to change to his benefit only at her expense. Adult relationships are about compromise, negotiation, and boundary setting. There are no guarantees.
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