Hardcore Harry Potter Fans Force Their Obsession On Their Daughter, She Finally Rebels, Causes Family Drama
Whatever substance you’re consuming—whether it’s coffee or Harry Potter—you need to have limits. One of them is not shoving it down other people’s throats against their will.
Every generation finds its own way to torture its children. I guess ours is obsessive fandoms.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s perfectly normal to support a sports team or know every lyric to every song that your favorite musician has released. But it’s another thing entirely to be completely consumed by it to a point where you base your family’s entire life around it.
And unfortunately, that’s exactly what Redditor LEAVEMEALOOOOOONE accuses her parents of.
A couple who have built their entire lives on Harry Potten fandom are driving their teenage daughter nuts
Image credits: halloweencostumes (not the actual photo)
LEAVEMEALOOOOOONE said Reddit’s reaction was a mix of nice, annoying, funny, encouraging, and even creepy.
“I got a lot of DMs from people, I’m still getting them,” she told Bored Panda. “A lot of them asked me for my name, which is really creepy. I had some grown adults offering to take me to see Arches or go camping with them which is insanely creepy. Then I had a lot of men DM me to recommend me a bunch of crusty old fantasy books when I made it pretty clear I can’t stand fantasy. I have nice people DM me but honestly, it’s creepy to DM a 15-year-old to strike up a conversation.”
The teenager said she’s been more or less fine after the family conflict broke out. “I’ve been at Missy’s a lot because [my parents] ramp up the Harry Potter stuff before Christmas and it’s really boring.”
“I mean I have to be there for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I’m probably just going to hang out in my room if they’re watching the movies,” she explained.
LEAVEMEALOOOOOONE also added that if someone tells you ‘I don’t like Harry Potter’ it’s “really dumb” to reply to them with a bunch of jokes about it. “A lot of people think they’re more clever than they really are,” she said.
People are completely on the girl’s side
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“Leia Nynphadora, I am your father, you need to come home to apologize. What you did was a total Avada Kedavra to the family vibes, it’s like all the hype cried out in terror and was suddenly silenced”
How can watching a movie on your TV be "a technology free evening"?
How is knitting technology? I mean I guess it would be freaking amazing to Neanderthals.
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Omg I hate so much people who just "want" kids, like a furniture that would match their little dream. Kids are people, and unless you want to consider them like actual person, just buy a plant or something ffs
The parents probably dreamed of picking out these nerd / fandom interests for this kid without a thought that s/he is their own person. People who love shows and movies so much they can’t let go of it and name their kids after it and everything seem more interested in the media stuff than the actual kid.
Yup. She doesn't mention her dad (maybe he's busier outside the home), but her mother seems to have wanted the kids as her own 24/7 fan club: "My mom got really mad and started talking about [...] how I’m basically rejecting her and [...] how “you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for harry potter.'" That's emotional abuse right there.
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Sorry, but I'm still sick on "'IRC', like Discord for old people". That was soul crushing.
But old old or not having a cellphone in highschool old (j.gaffigan)
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I'm a huge nerd. I would certainly introduce any children of mine to my hobbies & interests. I would NOT name them something from one of those movies or books. I would not demand they slavishly follow my hobbies (I would consider that to be as bad as the Parents who demand their kids play football or participate in beauty pageants.) Expose the kids to multiple things and let them decide what they do or do not like (there is lots of "try" in that too!).
"let's have a technology free night" as she forces them to watch Harry Potter. I presume the actors weren't present to do a live performance, so how exactly does the mother plan to watch it without technology?
This is just nutty. My whole family except for my dad loves HP, but we’re not forced to watch the movies or obsess over it
NTA. This girls mother sounds like a real control freak. A good parent fosters their kids interests, they don't force interests upon them. I'm a big old geek and some of my interests have influenced what my daughter likes but she chose what to be influenced by for herself and as such she has her own flavor of geekdome containing things i'm not interested in such as Harry Potter. Same with gaming, I build computers so she has her own computer but we play different games. No one should be the gatekeeper to what peeks your interest, everyone is different and it's those differences that make life interesting.
Plot twist: she was using coded language to describe being brought up by religious fanatics. She just used different books.
Load More Replies... Sounds like the parents don't know any other way to bond and since it worked for them, they assumed it would work for their kids as well.
NTA. Not only are your feelings on this valid, it's completely OK to not even like those things. I tried for years to get into Star Wars before I accepted that it just isn't my thing.
Absolutely! My bf introduced me to all this and at first, it was very fun and interesting, but by now, my eyes glass over. I feel like you should be allowed to check it out, and move on if it didn’t interest you. He’ll get into discussions w/ his sister about cannon, and my one and only contribution said it all: it’s fiction, so anything could or could not be cannon, depends on the author I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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A certain way to ensure that your kids will never contact you ever again after they moved out
"Am I talking about Harry Potter or Star Wars? Who know[s] THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME EXACT STORY!!!" OP needs read Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces re: the monomyth.. LOL
I thought the same thing. Like the themes are different, just the very basic structure that exits in most adventure stories is the same haha.
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If you believe your children should be your mini-me, don't have children. Children are not accessories to your life; they are individuals and human beings who are entitled to develop their own interests.
I'm a huge nerd myself, but the mom in this is ridiculous. When OP got older she should have had choice to not join in. I mean I can talk about my fandoms all day and I'll even try to convince people to give them a try but if they're seriously not interested or seem annoyed you leave them alone about it. This mom is just giving a bad name to people in fandoms. Makes me so mad.
This is no different from the poor kids who had parents who were jocks or cheerleaders, so their kids HAD to be jocks or cheerleaders, or parents that always wanted to be actors so they drag their kids to audition after audition. I wonder how these parents would feel if they were forced into something like that.
I'm totally on board with this kid. Unlike her parents, she's the one growing up. The fact that the mom is mad, instead of shifting gear to accommodate all the kids, is simply sad. I encourage my kids to try new things.
Just an igorant teen who will probably be butthurt in a few decades when the teens of the day call Discord "the XY for old people".
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I think maybe it's time to write your feelings down. When you are all emotional it's hard to have a discussion without feeling defensive or angry. So write down how you feel. I am a huge Sherlock Holmes fan. My son is more or less named in his honour. I was a member of the Sherlock Holmes society. I collect old SH books. But I understand that my son has his own interests. A family has to be built on respect for each other and a healthy encouragement of individualisation. You are not your mother or your father. You can respect their interests and obsessions, but you would like them to also respect yours. There has to be some way to compromise. How about a Harry Potter night (just endure it) and then a normal Christmas film night? Offer to meet them in the middle. Tell them that you love them, quirks and all and you hope they can accept you, for who you are, with all your quirks too.
I hope a serious conversation helps her. I looked at the OP's reddit responses. She's been telling them over and over that she doesn't share their interests. She's 15, so it's more years of putting up with her parents' dogmatic fanaticism. She doesn't mention her father, so he may be more open.
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I’m a massive nerd and still: YOUR CHILDREN AREN’T A DISPLAY FOR YOUR FANDOM. It’s nice to be into something but if you can’t accept your kids may not like the same things you do, don’t have kids
OMG, NTA, totally. And I am a huge HP fan. I have dozens of HP merchandize. My kids don't care about HP. My God, you have the right to have your own choices. And you have the right to completely dislike it. It's okay. Nobody has to follow a cult because the others are following them.
You can't make your kids like your stuff. I love rap music and my kids hate it. I love crocheting and my kids think it's for old people. Reading and have a huge collection of books- my boys could care less. What do they like? 4 wheelers and basketball. Video games and fishing/hunting. All of which I can't stand
I love hearing about people who aren't into Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Marvel. It makes me feel better about myself. If I wanted kids, I would want a kid like this girl. Nobody should force their beliefs or hobbies on anyone. Forcing fandom on your kids is right up there with forcing religion if you ask me.
All 3 of those are just so, so soul suckingly boring to me as franchises. I’ve seen the first HP movie and it was fine, but not good enough to revisit. I’ve seen 2 of the Star Wars too but didn’t care about them. I’m sure I’ve seen a marvel movie before but I couldn’t even tell you what they’re about or what characters. I really just don’t like that stuff. It’s odd to me that they’re so popular. I don’t begrudge people for liking them but it seems so mindless.
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Poor kid. I get it. I was born to hippie parents - who - hand to god met during the summer of love. Concerts, parties, communes, the whole bit. I had to sneak to read books. I ultimately rebelled by becoming an accountant. Suck it, parents!
I'm the child of Dr. Who nerds, who named me after a not particularly well known companion. Yes I ended up liking Dr. Who, but I had other interests. My name would be relatively normal in the UK, not so much here in the US, but at least I have the option of saying "it's Irish", if bringing up Fandom isn't appropriate.
Sounds like an alternate universe for me - I grew up with parents who did not accept any other music/movies/interests that they liked. Anything else I was listening to, watching was called tasteless and stupid. And Harry Potter was called "a demonic movie" - I had to watch it at my friends house, when I wanted to (I really liked HP and fantasy and I still love it. ). I'm really glad that time changes people and now they accept everything I listen to/watch/read. It took me 20+ years to get to that point, but it worth it. I wish the author could accept her parents, and they could accept her point of view. Everyone has a right to like and not like something, but nobody has a right to force their choice on others: your freedom ends where the other people's freedom starts. Just respect each other's choices and preferences.
I love Harry Potter so much, but this is just awful. I feel bad for her. My parents never force me to do things. As much as I would love this, I feel so bad for her. Her parents need to accept the fact that she doesn’t like any of this stuff, and let her find her own things.
Your nta. But your problem also isn't something I really care about.js
You cared about it so little you took the time to comment.
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I love Harry Potter and Star Wars, but she is perfectly within her rights to want her own interests and preferences. Glad my name is not Hermione, that is for sure. What is IRC?
NTA. When you are old enough to move out on your own do it and give them an ultimatum. Tell them you will have no future contact with them if they try any of that nonsense. Be sure to tell them that will include any future grandchildren. Then go and get yourself a legal name change. Send them a copy of the official change after.
It just shows that anyone can be fundamentalist. I'm a Christian but know that my kids need to make their own choice about that. But this shows that whatever parents geek out about, whether it's religion, politics, nerdistry, knitting, they can try to indoctrinate their kids, and at some point the kids just aren't going to put up with it any more, and the parents are going to need to live with that.
Me and my hubs are pretty big nerds, and we even named one of our kids after a character, but purposely picked a generic name that isn't immediately obvious. That said, we encourage our kids in our passions but don't force anything. I am sad that HP and Star Wars is ruined for this person, but also get where the aversion comes from.
Never been to Arches?! YOU are not the a**hole. Canyonlands and Dead Horse Point State Park are also noteworthy. On day, Zion, one day...
I rebelled against my comic book obsessed husband by watching sports on tv, so I get it. I like comic books too; but I don’t believe a fan has any business judging other fans on what they should be fanboying about. That's 1337-ist garbage
Is it really worth posting an AITA article if they can't even find one dissenting opinion to include?
She's 15 and she's getting zero support at home. So yes, it's worth posting because she needs the confirmation that she's not the crazy one.
Load More Replies... J.K. Rowling is not necessarily the role model I'd wish on my children. She's revealed herself to be transphobic. All along she's also been perpetuating antisemitic stereotypes. These should be the OP's get out of jail card.
Who the hell is downvoting this? People need to deal with the fact that their fave is problematic.
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Ikr, who would think there would be adult fans of a book from the 90s? How bizarre
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This isn't supposed to be funny. Did you drop your brain this morning?
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“Leia Nynphadora, I am your father, you need to come home to apologize. What you did was a total Avada Kedavra to the family vibes, it’s like all the hype cried out in terror and was suddenly silenced”
How can watching a movie on your TV be "a technology free evening"?
How is knitting technology? I mean I guess it would be freaking amazing to Neanderthals.
Load More Replies... Omg I hate so much people who just "want" kids, like a furniture that would match their little dream. Kids are people, and unless you want to consider them like actual person, just buy a plant or something ffs
The parents probably dreamed of picking out these nerd / fandom interests for this kid without a thought that s/he is their own person. People who love shows and movies so much they can’t let go of it and name their kids after it and everything seem more interested in the media stuff than the actual kid.
Yup. She doesn't mention her dad (maybe he's busier outside the home), but her mother seems to have wanted the kids as her own 24/7 fan club: "My mom got really mad and started talking about [...] how I’m basically rejecting her and [...] how “you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for harry potter.'" That's emotional abuse right there.
Load More Replies... Sorry, but I'm still sick on "'IRC', like Discord for old people". That was soul crushing.
But old old or not having a cellphone in highschool old (j.gaffigan)
Load More Replies... I'm a huge nerd. I would certainly introduce any children of mine to my hobbies & interests. I would NOT name them something from one of those movies or books. I would not demand they slavishly follow my hobbies (I would consider that to be as bad as the Parents who demand their kids play football or participate in beauty pageants.) Expose the kids to multiple things and let them decide what they do or do not like (there is lots of "try" in that too!).
"let's have a technology free night" as she forces them to watch Harry Potter. I presume the actors weren't present to do a live performance, so how exactly does the mother plan to watch it without technology?
This is just nutty. My whole family except for my dad loves HP, but we’re not forced to watch the movies or obsess over it
NTA. This girls mother sounds like a real control freak. A good parent fosters their kids interests, they don't force interests upon them. I'm a big old geek and some of my interests have influenced what my daughter likes but she chose what to be influenced by for herself and as such she has her own flavor of geekdome containing things i'm not interested in such as Harry Potter. Same with gaming, I build computers so she has her own computer but we play different games. No one should be the gatekeeper to what peeks your interest, everyone is different and it's those differences that make life interesting.
Plot twist: she was using coded language to describe being brought up by religious fanatics. She just used different books.
Load More Replies... Sounds like the parents don't know any other way to bond and since it worked for them, they assumed it would work for their kids as well.
NTA. Not only are your feelings on this valid, it's completely OK to not even like those things. I tried for years to get into Star Wars before I accepted that it just isn't my thing.
Absolutely! My bf introduced me to all this and at first, it was very fun and interesting, but by now, my eyes glass over. I feel like you should be allowed to check it out, and move on if it didn’t interest you. He’ll get into discussions w/ his sister about cannon, and my one and only contribution said it all: it’s fiction, so anything could or could not be cannon, depends on the author I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Load More Replies... A certain way to ensure that your kids will never contact you ever again after they moved out
"Am I talking about Harry Potter or Star Wars? Who know[s] THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME EXACT STORY!!!" OP needs read Joseph Campbell's Hero with a Thousand Faces re: the monomyth.. LOL
I thought the same thing. Like the themes are different, just the very basic structure that exits in most adventure stories is the same haha.
Load More Replies... If you believe your children should be your mini-me, don't have children. Children are not accessories to your life; they are individuals and human beings who are entitled to develop their own interests.
I'm a huge nerd myself, but the mom in this is ridiculous. When OP got older she should have had choice to not join in. I mean I can talk about my fandoms all day and I'll even try to convince people to give them a try but if they're seriously not interested or seem annoyed you leave them alone about it. This mom is just giving a bad name to people in fandoms. Makes me so mad.
This is no different from the poor kids who had parents who were jocks or cheerleaders, so their kids HAD to be jocks or cheerleaders, or parents that always wanted to be actors so they drag their kids to audition after audition. I wonder how these parents would feel if they were forced into something like that.
I'm totally on board with this kid. Unlike her parents, she's the one growing up. The fact that the mom is mad, instead of shifting gear to accommodate all the kids, is simply sad. I encourage my kids to try new things.
Just an igorant teen who will probably be butthurt in a few decades when the teens of the day call Discord "the XY for old people".
Load More Replies... I think maybe it's time to write your feelings down. When you are all emotional it's hard to have a discussion without feeling defensive or angry. So write down how you feel. I am a huge Sherlock Holmes fan. My son is more or less named in his honour. I was a member of the Sherlock Holmes society. I collect old SH books. But I understand that my son has his own interests. A family has to be built on respect for each other and a healthy encouragement of individualisation. You are not your mother or your father. You can respect their interests and obsessions, but you would like them to also respect yours. There has to be some way to compromise. How about a Harry Potter night (just endure it) and then a normal Christmas film night? Offer to meet them in the middle. Tell them that you love them, quirks and all and you hope they can accept you, for who you are, with all your quirks too.
I hope a serious conversation helps her. I looked at the OP's reddit responses. She's been telling them over and over that she doesn't share their interests. She's 15, so it's more years of putting up with her parents' dogmatic fanaticism. She doesn't mention her father, so he may be more open.
Load More Replies... I’m a massive nerd and still: YOUR CHILDREN AREN’T A DISPLAY FOR YOUR FANDOM. It’s nice to be into something but if you can’t accept your kids may not like the same things you do, don’t have kids
OMG, NTA, totally. And I am a huge HP fan. I have dozens of HP merchandize. My kids don't care about HP. My God, you have the right to have your own choices. And you have the right to completely dislike it. It's okay. Nobody has to follow a cult because the others are following them.
You can't make your kids like your stuff. I love rap music and my kids hate it. I love crocheting and my kids think it's for old people. Reading and have a huge collection of books- my boys could care less. What do they like? 4 wheelers and basketball. Video games and fishing/hunting. All of which I can't stand
I love hearing about people who aren't into Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Marvel. It makes me feel better about myself. If I wanted kids, I would want a kid like this girl. Nobody should force their beliefs or hobbies on anyone. Forcing fandom on your kids is right up there with forcing religion if you ask me.
All 3 of those are just so, so soul suckingly boring to me as franchises. I’ve seen the first HP movie and it was fine, but not good enough to revisit. I’ve seen 2 of the Star Wars too but didn’t care about them. I’m sure I’ve seen a marvel movie before but I couldn’t even tell you what they’re about or what characters. I really just don’t like that stuff. It’s odd to me that they’re so popular. I don’t begrudge people for liking them but it seems so mindless.
Load More Replies... Poor kid. I get it. I was born to hippie parents - who - hand to god met during the summer of love. Concerts, parties, communes, the whole bit. I had to sneak to read books. I ultimately rebelled by becoming an accountant. Suck it, parents!
I'm the child of Dr. Who nerds, who named me after a not particularly well known companion. Yes I ended up liking Dr. Who, but I had other interests. My name would be relatively normal in the UK, not so much here in the US, but at least I have the option of saying "it's Irish", if bringing up Fandom isn't appropriate.
Sounds like an alternate universe for me - I grew up with parents who did not accept any other music/movies/interests that they liked. Anything else I was listening to, watching was called tasteless and stupid. And Harry Potter was called "a demonic movie" - I had to watch it at my friends house, when I wanted to (I really liked HP and fantasy and I still love it. ). I'm really glad that time changes people and now they accept everything I listen to/watch/read. It took me 20+ years to get to that point, but it worth it. I wish the author could accept her parents, and they could accept her point of view. Everyone has a right to like and not like something, but nobody has a right to force their choice on others: your freedom ends where the other people's freedom starts. Just respect each other's choices and preferences.
I love Harry Potter so much, but this is just awful. I feel bad for her. My parents never force me to do things. As much as I would love this, I feel so bad for her. Her parents need to accept the fact that she doesn’t like any of this stuff, and let her find her own things.
Your nta. But your problem also isn't something I really care about.js
You cared about it so little you took the time to comment.
Load More Replies... I love Harry Potter and Star Wars, but she is perfectly within her rights to want her own interests and preferences. Glad my name is not Hermione, that is for sure. What is IRC?
NTA. When you are old enough to move out on your own do it and give them an ultimatum. Tell them you will have no future contact with them if they try any of that nonsense. Be sure to tell them that will include any future grandchildren. Then go and get yourself a legal name change. Send them a copy of the official change after.
It just shows that anyone can be fundamentalist. I'm a Christian but know that my kids need to make their own choice about that. But this shows that whatever parents geek out about, whether it's religion, politics, nerdistry, knitting, they can try to indoctrinate their kids, and at some point the kids just aren't going to put up with it any more, and the parents are going to need to live with that.
Me and my hubs are pretty big nerds, and we even named one of our kids after a character, but purposely picked a generic name that isn't immediately obvious. That said, we encourage our kids in our passions but don't force anything. I am sad that HP and Star Wars is ruined for this person, but also get where the aversion comes from.
Never been to Arches?! YOU are not the a**hole. Canyonlands and Dead Horse Point State Park are also noteworthy. On day, Zion, one day...
I rebelled against my comic book obsessed husband by watching sports on tv, so I get it. I like comic books too; but I don’t believe a fan has any business judging other fans on what they should be fanboying about. That's 1337-ist garbage
Is it really worth posting an AITA article if they can't even find one dissenting opinion to include?
She's 15 and she's getting zero support at home. So yes, it's worth posting because she needs the confirmation that she's not the crazy one.
Load More Replies... J.K. Rowling is not necessarily the role model I'd wish on my children. She's revealed herself to be transphobic. All along she's also been perpetuating antisemitic stereotypes. These should be the OP's get out of jail card.
Who the hell is downvoting this? People need to deal with the fact that their fave is problematic.
Load More Replies... Ikr, who would think there would be adult fans of a book from the 90s? How bizarre
Load More Replies... This isn't supposed to be funny. Did you drop your brain this morning?
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