October is National Bullying Prevention Month in the United States. Bullying is a problem that exists everywhere. Bullying is the leading cause to School violence and ultimately ends in school shootings. The numbers are only on the rise for school violence and school shootings and I question if our schools are prepared.
Since writing and photographing my last anti-bullying blog, almost a year ago, I have since started attending School safety conferences with my husband who is a police officer and was an SRO (school resource officer)for a year. These Conferences deal with statistics of school bullying, School Violence and School shootings. This conference also looks at if our schools are prepared, if this was to happen in our schools. In the last 3 weeks, since attending these conferences a school 15 minutes away was on lock down for a possible active school shooting, 2 schools an hour away were on lock down/Closed for threats towards their schools/students and teachers, a new style was released with the name of several schools written across them including Sandy hook, Columbine and Virginia Tech with bullet holes through them also the Sandy hook promises commercial was released to raise awareness and several school violence videos have surfaced, a couple in which a child has lost their lives due to school violence.
I have since joined the anti-bullying movement and I’m determined to help schools understand what is needed through what I am learning.
As a photographer I sit down with each one of the kids before I capture their stories, I hear their pain as they retell those moment’s. I listen to the moms who are hurting and the steps they have tried to take to help their child, some to no avail.
Let’s take a minute and talk about numbers:
According to studies, factors behind school shooting; the topmost motives of attackers were: bullying/persecution/threatened (75%) and revenge (61%).
In a U.S. study of 5,621 students ages 12–18, 64% of the students had experienced bullying and did not report it.
Did you know that suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15-24 year olds after accidents and homicide?
Did you also know that 60% of middle school students have said they HAVE been bullied BUT only 16% of staff believe that students are bullied, let that sink in!
30% of students who reported they had been bullied said they had at times brought weapons to school. 30% guys!!!
Bullying was a factor in 2/3 of the 37 school shootings reviewed by the US Secret Service. BULLYING!!!!
The average child has watched 8,000 televised murders and 100,000 acts of violence before finishing elementary school, GUYS this is in our homes!!! This Starts with US, not our schools. We willingly open our children up to this crap!
10% of parents know that their children are being bullied. We need to stand up for our kids and help end bullying. We need to be proactive in our children’s lives. We need to sit down and talk to our children, be a part of their lives, be there for them and hear them.
Let’s meet our little’s, Meet Makenna, she is 5 years old and is in Kindergarten. The minute Makenna walked in our studio her smile was so bright and lit up the room, shes very soft spoken and polite. When I asked her why she was bullied she said “my hair is ugly.” Makenna as been subject to bullying not only in her school but it continues on her way home on the bus. Her mom has contacted the school and bus barn, she hasn’t heard from the school (until she took a stand and did this shoot) but the bus barn did respond and said that her daughter was “on a bus the driver had little control over and if I knew anyone that wanted to drive a bus, send them their way.” Makenna left our studio feeling empowered in her shoot. She was happy that she did it and also understood that she is beautiful.
Meet Aghust, he is a 8 years old and in the 2nd grade. Aghust was in our anti-bullying portraits last year for his condition of Neurofibromatosis, which has tumors grow under his skin on his nervous system. This year Aghust wanted to take a stand for colors. He LOVES the rainbow but also gets called “gay” “weird” and that “the rainbow is for girls”. Aghust gave up wearing or allowing us to buy anything for him for school because he wanted to be liked. So this year hes taking a stand for all colors. Aghust says “Colors are colors and shouldn’t be gendered, because they are all pretty”. He proudly wore this outfit for his picture day for the 2nd grade!
Oh Zoey!!!! Zoey is 7 years old and in 2nd grade. This girl so full of spunk. Shes was dancing and posing the whole hour I spent with her. She talked about times that she was bullied for being “fat”. Zoey even developed some anorexia last year because of being self conscious of her weight. Her “friends” convinced her that if she ate she would get bigger. Zoey finished out the rest of the year at her old school and has now attended an amazing school and is doing better than ever! Before she left she said “I’m not fat and I eat all my dinner”
And Mr. Zaiden. Hes 10 years old and in the 5th grade. Hes such an amazing little boy, so loving and caring, he has an emotional side to him and hes not afraid to show it. Zaidens parent’s were noticing some hearing issues along with grades dropping so they decided to get his hearing tested. They then got news that Zaiden was completely deaf in one of his ears. His hearing aids would help balance out vibrations of sounds to hear. When returning to school with his hearing aids he was bullied. He would go home crying and saying he didn’t need them anymore, his mom would comfort him and tell him yes he did need them that’s when he broke down and told his mom how he was being bullied for his hearing aids.
Get help in the United States by texting “home” to 741741, to contact a trained crisis counselor for free 24/7 support or calling 1 800-273-8255 for the Suicide Crisis Hotline, which is available 27/7.
Makenna
If I Dye my hair, can I play with you then?
Aghust
If I give up my individuality, Can I play with you?
Zoey
If I lose weight, Can I play with you?
Zaiden
If I pretend to hear, Can I play with you?
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This is so heartbreaking. One of my biggest fears as a parent is one of my children becoming a suicide statistic due to bullying. My daughter is having major issues with one particular bully telling her to "go kill yourself, go neck yourself you slutty b***h and if you don't do it, I will do it for you" or "your mum and dad should kill themselves and then you should kill yourself too, i hope you jump of a bridge and smash your head in the concrete". The school has done as much as they can, next step is the police. She is now having suicidal thoughts and thinking everyone will party if she dies. It is heartbreaking seeing her go through this. Bullies need to be held accountable and if someone attempts/commits suicide due to bullying, the bully should be charged with manslaughter.
Hey there. Thank you for responding. Please please please seek help for her. I am very passionate about anti bullying as I lost a close friend due to suicide. I also would cut due to my bullying and thought about jumping off a bridge and hanging myself. It's a dark place when you feel alone trapped in this box of these words that never end. When you look into a mirror and those words look back at you. My heart breaks for her. I am very passionate about getting a law in place that protects our kids, there needs to be one, period. Somebody needs to be held accountable for their actions if suicide strikes any child. A whole family suffers the loss of our child, yet these bullies get to walk free to live life. I think about Matt on the 22nd of December every year. Not a year goes by that I dont. He killed himself then. I remember that phone call, the hurt, the sadness the overall feeling. Please hug your daughter and tell her someone in Arizona cares for her!
Load More Replies... This is so heartbreaking. One of my biggest fears as a parent is one of my children becoming a suicide statistic due to bullying. My daughter is having major issues with one particular bully telling her to "go kill yourself, go neck yourself you slutty b***h and if you don't do it, I will do it for you" or "your mum and dad should kill themselves and then you should kill yourself too, i hope you jump of a bridge and smash your head in the concrete". The school has done as much as they can, next step is the police. She is now having suicidal thoughts and thinking everyone will party if she dies. It is heartbreaking seeing her go through this. Bullies need to be held accountable and if someone attempts/commits suicide due to bullying, the bully should be charged with manslaughter.
Hey there. Thank you for responding. Please please please seek help for her. I am very passionate about anti bullying as I lost a close friend due to suicide. I also would cut due to my bullying and thought about jumping off a bridge and hanging myself. It's a dark place when you feel alone trapped in this box of these words that never end. When you look into a mirror and those words look back at you. My heart breaks for her. I am very passionate about getting a law in place that protects our kids, there needs to be one, period. Somebody needs to be held accountable for their actions if suicide strikes any child. A whole family suffers the loss of our child, yet these bullies get to walk free to live life. I think about Matt on the 22nd of December every year. Not a year goes by that I dont. He killed himself then. I remember that phone call, the hurt, the sadness the overall feeling. Please hug your daughter and tell her someone in Arizona cares for her!
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