Woman Endures Endless Nose-Ring Insults From Grandma, Finally Drops A Comeback That Leaves Her Quiet
I was nineteen when I got my first piercing – a small silver earring – and my grandma poured all her wrath and wit on me for doing so. To be honest, I turned out to be a weakling and gave up in just a few months – but the narrator of our story today is actually much stronger than I was back then.
Well, the author, the user u/blah_fkin_blah, also had one, quite innocent-looking nose ring in her nostril – and it immediately became the target of her grandma’s critical arrows. However, the author managed to put the old lady in her place one day – and did it quite wittily!
More info: Reddit
Sometimes it’s quite difficult for the young adults to communicate with their grandparents as they believe they’re entitled to give various unsolicited advice
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author of the post got her nose ring in a nostril one day – and it became the grandma’s target for endless criticism
Image credits: blah_fkin_blah
Image credits: Edu Bastidas / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The lady used to say that the granddaughter “looked like a bull” with this ring – and this was obviously offensive to the author
Image credits: blah_fkin_blah
Image credits: Vishal Tiwari / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
One day she warned the grandma that the next insult would have a backlash – but the lady neglected the warning
Image credits: blah_fkin_blah
So after another “joke” at the family gathering the author simply told that the grandma looked like Ronald McDonald with her hair dyed red
The story we’re describing happened about six years ago, when the Original poster (OP) got her piercing – just a hoop in her nostril. A completely typical situation for many people – but, as it turns out, it was downright outrageous for the author’s grandma. From the very first moment, this decent lady began criticizing her granddaughter for her nose ring.
Literally every meeting became an opportunity for the old lady to fire a few critical – and rather offensive – darts at our heroine. The grandma usually claimed that the nose ring made the author look like a bull. However, the OP specifically noted that it wasn’t actually a septum. Thus, the grandma’s insults were even more weird and offensive.
Our heroine repeatedly asked her grandma to stop this mocking show, and the last time, she honestly warned her that she would not restrain herself in the future. And if she heard any offensive remark directed at her again, she reserved the right to respond. Needless to say, the grandma either ignored this warning or forgot about it…
So, at another family gathering, the lady started her old rant again about how the author allegedly looked like a bull with a nose ring… But the granddaughter countered with a punchline: she said her grandmoa looked just like Ronald McDonald with her dyed red hair. The grandma went silent, and then a real family drama erupted.
The grandmother – and then the author’s mom too – accused her of being disrespectful and rude, to which our heroine reasonably countered that she had repeatedly asked her to stop bullying and warned her of a possible backlash. So the OP simply decided to take this online, seeking netizens’ support.
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Experts note that sometimes grandparents and grandkids have really great relationships – sometimes even better than with their parents – but sometimes the grandparents simply prefer being toxic and overly critical. So, this dedicated article at Choosing Therapy highlights at least two of the seven signs of toxic grandparents, which are common to our tale.
The first sign would be struggling with boundaries and the second – being verbally and emotionally offensive. The former is characterized, in particular, by imposing one’s own opinions and vision of life, while the latter is inventing all sorts of offensive nicknames for grandchildren and humiliating them in public. In other words, this is essentially what the author’s grandmother did.
Okay, but how well did our heroine handle the situation described? Anita Cleare, a UK-based parenting expert, urges us to politely but firmly reject unsolicited advice from grandparents, establishing the personal boundaries. However, as we can see in this story, the grandmother actually crossed these boundaries more than once…
So many people in the comments were just confident that the author did everything right. At least she gave her grandma a fair warning that the next insult would result in a backlash, and it’s not her problem that the old lady ignored that warning! Well, and what do you, our dear readers, think about this case? Please feel free to express your thoughts in the comments.
Most commenters unanimously sided with the author, claiming that this was just her way to set personal boundaries, and that’s all
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The comment that said Grandma's comments weren't mean spirited? Well, she was told to stop, but continued. That WAS mean spirited!
I didn't get that either. Grandma was completely disrespectful and that is mean spirited. And OP is right. Women who are obviously past the age of coloured hair, having obviously boxed coloured hair look just as bad as men with bad combovers. You're just not fooling anyone and you look ridiculous.
Load More Replies...I'd buy a cow costume and wear it every time grandma came over. She'd get no conversation from me, only mooing.
Okay, THAT is good. Now I see myself in one, and every time my bully, a.busive brother says some sh!t, I moo real fvckin loud in his Judgmental-Jesus face.😆 (Just kidding, I don’t plan on ever seeing that cruel traitor's face again, but that was the visual. Stealing! Thanks!)
Load More Replies...Here's my solution. Stay away from AHs. Grandma is an AH. I wouldn't bother insulting her, I'd just be done with her, entirely and walk out of any room she was in. She would just cease to exist for me.
If you're fortunate enough that they don't track you down, because you're such a fun target for their nastiness, this has definitely been the most peaceful solution for my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellness.
Load More Replies...I absolutely HATE that piercing. Because of that, I won't get one. If I see someone with one, I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. I also treat that person just like I would anyone that didn't have that piercing. It's not that hard and gam-gam is long overdue to learn that.
Same, if the person with the piercing wanted my opinion I would give it to them.
Load More Replies...Nah, OP was NTA. She warned grandma numerous times + grandma kept being an @ssh0le. FAFO, dish it out but can't take it, etc. Hope OP told her family to kick rocks re: being "too mean/disrespectful to grandma." Bad behavior needs to be called out, no matter who's doing it.
"Nana, you've already told me that, remember? We've had this conversation many many times before, are you feeling OK? Do you know where you are right now?"
"Do we need to start looking into care homes for you? We already have a few in mind but will probably have to choose a cheaper option."
Load More Replies...Don't understand the first comment at all, how is telling grandma she looks like Ronald McDonald more spiteful than her telling OP she looks like a bull with the nose ring?
Lmao, why is it so hard for some people to understand that respect is not something you can demand from others? Respect is earned, respect those who respect you. It's that simple.
And you don't get respected simply because you're old.
Load More Replies...I wish people would include ages. I would feel very differently if grandma were 90 than I do if she’s 62. Because I’m 61 and I know what was a style when I was young and what these young whippersnappers have come up with on their own (usually uploaded in short videos). Punk was 70s. I went to Clash concerts and hung out at CBGBs & the Bottom Line. In other words. If grandma is under 70 yo, you’re fine with what you said. If she’s over 70 you an AH.
Absolutely not. My parents are in their 70s and would think the piercing was cool. Grandma is just a díck.
Load More Replies...Boundaries my @ss. This (IMO) falls into the category of "think it as loud as you want, just don't say it". Granny is entitled to her opinion on how the nose ring affects the OP's look, but on no planet is she entitled to voice that opinion. Folks with no sense tend to crow about everyone is entitled to their opinion, but voicing it opens a door that they aren't prepared for. After granny gave her assessment it (naturally) opened the door for the OP to return the favor. But dIsReSpEcT is so much bull$hit because it works both ways, and it brought about the cause and effect that they're dealing with now. Think before you speak. This ain't about "boundaries" which is another overused term, it's about the old adage: don't throw rocks if you live in a glass house.
A lot of seniors have it in their heads that they can treat anyone any way they want to, and people will humor them. Grandma is used to being treated as an authority, but today she got treated like a person. The nasty person she is. And she didn't like it. It hurt her feelings to not have her bullying treated like a gift.
I believe in being the bigger person, not the retaliatory person. One time Grandma was told to stop. She didn't. Time to sit Grandma down and have a talk about the hurtful nature of her comments and that it will not be tolerated. Then if Grandma does it again, you firmly remind her that there has been a boundary set and she is expected to back off. You don't just hit her back like it is some kind of playground fight.
I got my nose pierced (also not a septum piercing) and while it was healing it kept trying to absorb the stud. So I took the stud out and replaced it with a ring. And my god, my parents would just not shut up about it. I got told I looked like a pig and my dad complained that he couldn't concentrate on what I was saying because "there's this nose ring right in my face". I eventually snapped and very loudly repeated that for the LAST TIME, this is just until it heals up and then I will put the stud back in WILL YOU JUST DROP IT (which to give him some credit, he did). Once it healed I did indeed take the ring out, permanently, but I wanted to strangle the guy, seriously.
Not a fan of counteracting rudeness with more rudeness. Generally, it just causes inflamed tempers and don't fix anything. I understand that OP was tired of hearing nasty comments and it was hurting her feelings, but many older adults feel the same as Grandma does when it comes to facial piercings and visible tattoos. If you're going to have either, you should grow thicker skin and not let the comments hurt you. OP is an adult and free to modify her face & body any way she likes, so my advice to her is simple: own it. My daughter had her belly button pierced when she was 16. I reminded her ahead of time not to let Grandpa see it - my dad's religion didn't allow any body modifications other than surgical - and she never wore a two-piece swimsuit at their house again (they had a swimming pool).
? But she DID own it. She told grandma multiple times to stop and that she was gonna get it back if she didn't. She warned her she was gonna get consequences...then delivered them. I agree there were better ways to handle it, but she's human and blew up in the moment. How is your daughter hiding her piercing relevant? That ain't owning it.
Load More Replies...Gammer should've quit poking the bull if she didn't want the horns! With her perming and dying her red and all, she should've seen OP charging at her horns-up for all the insults! Gammer thought she was a matador with her poking words until OP ripped her a new b*u*t*t-hole by charging for the Ronald McDonald red flag on her head. Can't see why she and the pissy bunch having a cow about the whole thing... XP XD
The comment that said Grandma's comments weren't mean spirited? Well, she was told to stop, but continued. That WAS mean spirited!
I didn't get that either. Grandma was completely disrespectful and that is mean spirited. And OP is right. Women who are obviously past the age of coloured hair, having obviously boxed coloured hair look just as bad as men with bad combovers. You're just not fooling anyone and you look ridiculous.
Load More Replies...I'd buy a cow costume and wear it every time grandma came over. She'd get no conversation from me, only mooing.
Okay, THAT is good. Now I see myself in one, and every time my bully, a.busive brother says some sh!t, I moo real fvckin loud in his Judgmental-Jesus face.😆 (Just kidding, I don’t plan on ever seeing that cruel traitor's face again, but that was the visual. Stealing! Thanks!)
Load More Replies...Here's my solution. Stay away from AHs. Grandma is an AH. I wouldn't bother insulting her, I'd just be done with her, entirely and walk out of any room she was in. She would just cease to exist for me.
If you're fortunate enough that they don't track you down, because you're such a fun target for their nastiness, this has definitely been the most peaceful solution for my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellness.
Load More Replies...I absolutely HATE that piercing. Because of that, I won't get one. If I see someone with one, I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. I also treat that person just like I would anyone that didn't have that piercing. It's not that hard and gam-gam is long overdue to learn that.
Same, if the person with the piercing wanted my opinion I would give it to them.
Load More Replies...Nah, OP was NTA. She warned grandma numerous times + grandma kept being an @ssh0le. FAFO, dish it out but can't take it, etc. Hope OP told her family to kick rocks re: being "too mean/disrespectful to grandma." Bad behavior needs to be called out, no matter who's doing it.
"Nana, you've already told me that, remember? We've had this conversation many many times before, are you feeling OK? Do you know where you are right now?"
"Do we need to start looking into care homes for you? We already have a few in mind but will probably have to choose a cheaper option."
Load More Replies...Don't understand the first comment at all, how is telling grandma she looks like Ronald McDonald more spiteful than her telling OP she looks like a bull with the nose ring?
Lmao, why is it so hard for some people to understand that respect is not something you can demand from others? Respect is earned, respect those who respect you. It's that simple.
And you don't get respected simply because you're old.
Load More Replies...I wish people would include ages. I would feel very differently if grandma were 90 than I do if she’s 62. Because I’m 61 and I know what was a style when I was young and what these young whippersnappers have come up with on their own (usually uploaded in short videos). Punk was 70s. I went to Clash concerts and hung out at CBGBs & the Bottom Line. In other words. If grandma is under 70 yo, you’re fine with what you said. If she’s over 70 you an AH.
Absolutely not. My parents are in their 70s and would think the piercing was cool. Grandma is just a díck.
Load More Replies...Boundaries my @ss. This (IMO) falls into the category of "think it as loud as you want, just don't say it". Granny is entitled to her opinion on how the nose ring affects the OP's look, but on no planet is she entitled to voice that opinion. Folks with no sense tend to crow about everyone is entitled to their opinion, but voicing it opens a door that they aren't prepared for. After granny gave her assessment it (naturally) opened the door for the OP to return the favor. But dIsReSpEcT is so much bull$hit because it works both ways, and it brought about the cause and effect that they're dealing with now. Think before you speak. This ain't about "boundaries" which is another overused term, it's about the old adage: don't throw rocks if you live in a glass house.
A lot of seniors have it in their heads that they can treat anyone any way they want to, and people will humor them. Grandma is used to being treated as an authority, but today she got treated like a person. The nasty person she is. And she didn't like it. It hurt her feelings to not have her bullying treated like a gift.
I believe in being the bigger person, not the retaliatory person. One time Grandma was told to stop. She didn't. Time to sit Grandma down and have a talk about the hurtful nature of her comments and that it will not be tolerated. Then if Grandma does it again, you firmly remind her that there has been a boundary set and she is expected to back off. You don't just hit her back like it is some kind of playground fight.
I got my nose pierced (also not a septum piercing) and while it was healing it kept trying to absorb the stud. So I took the stud out and replaced it with a ring. And my god, my parents would just not shut up about it. I got told I looked like a pig and my dad complained that he couldn't concentrate on what I was saying because "there's this nose ring right in my face". I eventually snapped and very loudly repeated that for the LAST TIME, this is just until it heals up and then I will put the stud back in WILL YOU JUST DROP IT (which to give him some credit, he did). Once it healed I did indeed take the ring out, permanently, but I wanted to strangle the guy, seriously.
Not a fan of counteracting rudeness with more rudeness. Generally, it just causes inflamed tempers and don't fix anything. I understand that OP was tired of hearing nasty comments and it was hurting her feelings, but many older adults feel the same as Grandma does when it comes to facial piercings and visible tattoos. If you're going to have either, you should grow thicker skin and not let the comments hurt you. OP is an adult and free to modify her face & body any way she likes, so my advice to her is simple: own it. My daughter had her belly button pierced when she was 16. I reminded her ahead of time not to let Grandpa see it - my dad's religion didn't allow any body modifications other than surgical - and she never wore a two-piece swimsuit at their house again (they had a swimming pool).
? But she DID own it. She told grandma multiple times to stop and that she was gonna get it back if she didn't. She warned her she was gonna get consequences...then delivered them. I agree there were better ways to handle it, but she's human and blew up in the moment. How is your daughter hiding her piercing relevant? That ain't owning it.
Load More Replies...Gammer should've quit poking the bull if she didn't want the horns! With her perming and dying her red and all, she should've seen OP charging at her horns-up for all the insults! Gammer thought she was a matador with her poking words until OP ripped her a new b*u*t*t-hole by charging for the Ronald McDonald red flag on her head. Can't see why she and the pissy bunch having a cow about the whole thing... XP XD





















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