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Uninvolved Dad Belittles Teen’s Sporting Achievements During A Family Gathering, Mom Takes None Of It And Calls Him A ‘Deadbeat’
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Uninvolved Dad Belittles Teen’s Sporting Achievements During A Family Gathering, Mom Takes None Of It And Calls Him A ‘Deadbeat’

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Parenthood is a beautiful thing – but it’s not for everyone. Some establish this pretty early in life, while others, frankly, discover it way too late.

The star of today’s article is a mother of a 14-year-old teen. She divorced her ex when their daughter was only four, and while the man did make an effort to be a good father for the first couple of years – eventually, it all went downhill.

More info: Reddit

Uninvolved dad arrives late to a family gathering and belittles daughter’s sporting achievements

Image credits: PodPros (not the actual image)

The 14-year-old bursts into tears and demands that she and her mom go home – however, her mom tells her to wait in the car

Image credits: Julia M Cameron (not the actual image)

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Image credits: Oleksandr Pidvalnyi (not the actual image)

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image source: u/throra2762

AITA for calling my ex a deadbeat in front of his family?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most honorable communities, asking its members if she’s indeed wrong for lashing out at her uninvolved ex who made their teen daughter cry. The post managed to garner nearly 14K upvotes as well as 1.4K comments discussing the situation.

Did you know that according to a 2019 piece from The Census Bureau – which is a principal agency of the U.S. Federal Statistical System responsible for producing data about the American people and economy – 20.2% of men (about 7 million) are “absent” dads of all of their minor children? 

It’s no big news that parenthood isn’t easy; it’s a tremendously gratifying experience, but no matter what you do or how you do it, sometimes it brings more exhaustion than joy – yet, more often than not, said exhaustion tends to stem from the lack of support that some parents get rather than the demands of child care per se!

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Chances are, the “deadbeat dad” phenomenon is something that you’ve all heard about, but in case you’re unfamiliar, the terminology originally referred to fathers who evaded court-ordered child support obligations or custody arrangements – but, nowadays, it is used rather openly to simply describe men who neglect their responsibilities as parents. 

Some common traits are: not having a relationship with their children; using them as weapons; not knowing any vital details, like birthdays, for instance; having lots of free time but still not finding any to connect; and the baseless slander of their exes – the list is never-ending, really, and depends on the individual, but you know what they say, you’ll recognize a deadbeat when you see one. 

The woman then calls her ex a “deadbeat” and says that she wouldn’t be surprised if the teen cut him loose one day

Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual image)

Now, it’s normal for things to go a little haywire when a couple with kids decides to separate. Co-parenting is a tough egg to crack, but ditching all your responsibilities when you have a whole human to take care of is a total jerk move, to say the very least. 

Sadly, the original poster, u/throra2762, knows exactly what it’s like. “Brian,” the dad in question, was very involved in their kid’s life for the first couple of years after the divorce – however, he lost interest pretty quickly. The man stopped coming to parent-teacher evenings, his daughter’s sports games, refused to pay child support (what a shocker, I know), would forget to pick her up on allotted days, etc. 

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At first, he tried to win his offspring over and buy her extravagant gifts to somehow make amends, but it stopped working as “Sam” began to see her dad’s true colors. 

The one thing the author’s daughter got out of her relationship with her father, though, is her close connection to his parents, which brings us to the initial story.

The grandparents decided to take her and the rest of the family out to celebrate the teen’s field hockey achievements – yet the dad was almost an hour late. Not only did he not apologize, but he also belittled his child’s sports achievements, specifically noting how she “only” scored one goal. 

Needless to say, the nasty remark left her in tears, and she demanded they go home. The OP agreed and told the 14-year-old to wait in the car while she got their stuff, but she couldn’t let it go and lashed out.

The woman called him a “deadbeat” and recounted all of the things he did or perhaps didn’t do. She said that she wouldn’t be surprised if their daughter decided to cut him loose one day. The father tried to defend himself – but quickly grew livid and eventually stormed out. 

His parents were shocked by the statements as it seemed they were under the impression that he was a good dad – however, they still scolded the woman for causing a scene at the restaurant.

Many, if not all, Redditors sided with the post’s creator and praised her daughter’s field hockey achievements. Others strongly encouraged the woman to take it to court and claim the backdated child support – however, the woman revealed that since she has a well-paying job, she plans to familiarize her daughter with the situation before she turns 18 so that she can claim the payments that will then be paid directly to her for her to use as she wishes. 

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What do you think about this situation? Do you think the author did everything right, or would you have done things differently? 

Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the matter

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zak_1 avatar
zak
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if the kid can file a claim (I dont know the laws in whatever country they live), that's a pretty crappy decision you're forcing your daughter to make. You are passing your responsibility onto her, and the emotional toll that could come with it. Sure, *maybe* it will be cathartic for her and be a net positive... but there is also a significant chance it will leave her with guilt/anxiety/stress/etc, in addition to possible retribution from her father against *her*. Those risks are YOUR burden, not your daughter's.

kimberlywiltshire avatar
Kimberly Wiltshire
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing. Mom should take it to court as it is happening during her childhood andnoutnthe money into a secured trustnfornher to use at a later date. My dad had plenty of money but also checked out, told em to pull up my boot straps, and would only helo me with college if I moved 8 hours north to stay with him. Aka blackmail. I refused. Needless to say on top of a bunch of other c**p ge pulled I have been no contact since 2000. His behavior only got worse. After I moved out though my mom, whonis not financiallly secure because he forced her to be a housewife didnt have any experience or higher education which wasnt unusual for the time. But, because she was an emotional wreck she chased his measely $300 alimony for decades. It would have been better for her to just drop it instead of chasing what she was entitled to as it distracted her from just getting her life together. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses. So it depends, still not fairplay towards daughter.

Load More Replies...
brittenelson_1 avatar
B.Nelson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) Field hockey is just like ice hockey except it takes up an entire football field and the girls have to wear annoyingly small skirts or skorts, meaning games are single digit and getting even a single goal is amazing. Plus, she is playing against high ranked competitors. It's not abnormal for games like that to be 1-0 at the end of the match. 2) Sometimes I think jerks act like this at public places because they know they won't be called out due to no one wanted any embarrassing issues.

mindykany avatar
Min
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

According to the person who chose the accompanying photos, it's exactly the same as ice hockey!

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margomurdock avatar
Margo Murdock
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He caused the scene when he made her cry. His parents and yours are wrong for blaming you Shame on them and him!

Load More Comments
zak_1 avatar
zak
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if the kid can file a claim (I dont know the laws in whatever country they live), that's a pretty crappy decision you're forcing your daughter to make. You are passing your responsibility onto her, and the emotional toll that could come with it. Sure, *maybe* it will be cathartic for her and be a net positive... but there is also a significant chance it will leave her with guilt/anxiety/stress/etc, in addition to possible retribution from her father against *her*. Those risks are YOUR burden, not your daughter's.

kimberlywiltshire avatar
Kimberly Wiltshire
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was thinking the same thing. Mom should take it to court as it is happening during her childhood andnoutnthe money into a secured trustnfornher to use at a later date. My dad had plenty of money but also checked out, told em to pull up my boot straps, and would only helo me with college if I moved 8 hours north to stay with him. Aka blackmail. I refused. Needless to say on top of a bunch of other c**p ge pulled I have been no contact since 2000. His behavior only got worse. After I moved out though my mom, whonis not financiallly secure because he forced her to be a housewife didnt have any experience or higher education which wasnt unusual for the time. But, because she was an emotional wreck she chased his measely $300 alimony for decades. It would have been better for her to just drop it instead of chasing what she was entitled to as it distracted her from just getting her life together. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses. So it depends, still not fairplay towards daughter.

Load More Replies...
brittenelson_1 avatar
B.Nelson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) Field hockey is just like ice hockey except it takes up an entire football field and the girls have to wear annoyingly small skirts or skorts, meaning games are single digit and getting even a single goal is amazing. Plus, she is playing against high ranked competitors. It's not abnormal for games like that to be 1-0 at the end of the match. 2) Sometimes I think jerks act like this at public places because they know they won't be called out due to no one wanted any embarrassing issues.

mindykany avatar
Min
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

According to the person who chose the accompanying photos, it's exactly the same as ice hockey!

Load More Replies...
margomurdock avatar
Margo Murdock
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He caused the scene when he made her cry. His parents and yours are wrong for blaming you Shame on them and him!

Load More Comments
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