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After Being Bullied, This Creative And Proud 12-Year-Old Helped 26 Schools Adopt A Dress Code That Wasn’t Gender Specific
After Being Bullied, This Creative And Proud 12-Year-Old Helped 26 Schools Adopt A Dress Code That Wasn’t Gender Specific
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After Being Bullied, This Creative And Proud 12-Year-Old Helped 26 Schools Adopt A Dress Code That Wasn’t Gender Specific

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About two years ago, while I was doing a photoshoot for a renowned hairstylist, this cute little boy walked in with his parents, and I instantly liked him. He was quiet, but he wasn’t shy at all. The hairstylist’s team had invited him to the shoot so that he could get a glimpse of how photoshoots work. He was also allowed to help them with the hairstyling creations that we were shooting for the most prestigious competition in the hair industry, the North American Hairstyling Awards (NAHA).

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    When I asked the team why CJ wanted to be involved in the photoshoot, they quickly explained to me that CJ’s dream was to become a hair and makeup artist and that he’d been passionately learning hair and makeup styling.

    I immediately liked him even more! I loved the idea that no matter what his gender was, he had a keen interest in a female-oriented field (makeup) so early on. I loved seeing how focused he was on learning as much as he could about a hair and makeup career.

    Sometime later, I came across an Instagram account that was run by a mom who was raising a ‘gender creative child.’ I started looking at the photos and immediately discovered that it was CJ from the photoshoot! I spent at least an hour reading the descriptions underneath the Instagram images and getting to know their story. It was awful to learn about the bullying he had to go through in his school. My heart broke for him, and I couldn’t believe how people could be so blind and cruel. And I am just not referring to the children bullying him at school how could parents tell their kids not to be friends with CJ (even though they had liked him before) because he had come out as gay? What kind of message is that for their children and future generations?

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    We all want to be accepted and loved, and everyone deserves the right to be accepted and loved. His peers rejected this little boy, and rejection is one of the cruelest things you can do to another human.

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    When people bully or are cruel to someone they don’t understand, I always wonder what they would do if they were in the same position. How would they feel if they put themselves in his shoes for a day? The thing that is amazing is that CJ only uses these experiences to help him grow stronger and be a role model for other children like him.

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    According to federal law, students have the right to dress and present in a way that is consistent with their gender identity, so long as they follow rules for how to dress that apply to all students. This includes how they dress at school every day as well as for dances, graduation, and other school events.

    It’s super easy. Watch. Instead of saying “Dress for students should be collared shirts and casual pants for boys, and dresses or nice pantsuits for girls. If girls choose to wear spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, they must wear a sweater at all times.” Try something like this “Dress for students should be collared shirts, casual pants, dresses or nice pantsuits. If students choose to wear spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, they must wear a sweater at all times.”

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    He says “I haven’t always felt that way. I’ve been bullied, badly, but I’ve always come out stronger. Bullies aren’t going to get me to stop being me. I think it’s important for people – including bullies and haters – to see me because people need to see there are kids like me out there. Gender creative kids need to see other kids like themselves. The more people see people like me, the less ‘different’ we are and the more they accept people like me. Besides, I’m not ashamed of who I am.”

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    Not only has CJ been brave enough to follow his own path, but he has also helped to raise awareness in his school and community. He is currently an advocate for the LGBTQ and nonbinary communities and says that “My mom says that if you are in a position to help other people, you should. So that’s what I do. I helped make my elementary school the first school in the district to adopt a dress code that wasn’t gender-specific. One year later, the dress code was used as a model for implementation at every elementary school in the district. That’s 26 schools! Through meetings and email campaigns, I got my school district to stop sex/gender segregation in elementary school PE classes and to stop having special event dress codes that were illegal because they discriminated against gender creative students. If I can see a way to make life better and easier for gender creative people, I always try to do it. Being kind, sticking up for others and not being a jerk. That’s what life is all about.”

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    domjanandi

    domjanandi

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    domjanandi

    domjanandi

    Author, Community member

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    Aelita Senvaitytė

    Aelita Senvaitytė

    Moderator, BoredPanda staff

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    My name is Aelita and I have been an Editor for Bored Panda since 2019. I spend my days working with my amazing team and making articles the best they can be. Fantasy and magic have always ruled over my world, from movies to TV shows, to Video Games to tabletop games like Dungeos and Dragons, I try to find magic in every part of my life. Writing is a big part of me too, I hope to publish a fantasy novel one day. I also enjoy playing guitar and singing, as music always help me to get in a great mood. I have an adorable German Shepherd named Hela and we get into all kinds of adventures together.

    Read less »

    Aelita Senvaitytė

    Aelita Senvaitytė

    Moderator, BoredPanda staff

    My name is Aelita and I have been an Editor for Bored Panda since 2019. I spend my days working with my amazing team and making articles the best they can be. Fantasy and magic have always ruled over my world, from movies to TV shows, to Video Games to tabletop games like Dungeos and Dragons, I try to find magic in every part of my life. Writing is a big part of me too, I hope to publish a fantasy novel one day. I also enjoy playing guitar and singing, as music always help me to get in a great mood. I have an adorable German Shepherd named Hela and we get into all kinds of adventures together.

    What do you think ?
    Cathie Lee
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more worried about what is so scandalous about girls shoulders that they have to have them covered 🤔

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's basically a still-prevalent dark age Catholic mentality.

    Load More Replies...
    ember avery
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lmao its 2020, accept people who they are already, if you don't its your choice and you'll get bad karma on you anyway

    ember avery
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    john that is not the same thing and also hope you learned your lesson about keeping your two cents to yourself

    Load More Replies...
    Elizabeth Schuyler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He looks amazing, I wish I was that fierce

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alex K, I've encountered people who did not look fierce like lions, but they certainly had guts! Anyways, I don't think fierce is used here to mean "physically ferocious" so much as "distinctive and not afraid to be distinctive".

    Load More Replies...
    Jaekry
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMHO at his ages, it still can go either way, and to be honest it doesn't matter (to me). CJ should be allowed his own course. I assume his parents mean the best (most parents do btw) but it also means that his parents / ppl should leave CJ free to determine his/her/its course. This all aside, CJ looks like a powerhouse soul which should be protected and nourished at the same time. Wishing all the best. Life can be a struggle what ever your path may be.

    Leo H
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry but the article refers to cj as him...there is no mention of transitioning into a female...so its wrong to make that assumption

    Load More Replies...
    Kevin Billett
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a straight, 42yo dude, and kinda jealous of this kids fashion sense. You go CJ, you do you.

    pusheen buttercup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never liked formal wear.. I do know that we still have events like that and it can be useful to learn how to get dressed up as a skill in life, however, I believe that should mean "wear some kind of suit or dress", and whether you are man or woman, or neutral, you should get to pick what uncomfortable thing you're having to be shoved into for hours. I'm female and I would much rather wear a suit. I'm still celebrating the occasion and being professional, but that pure hell of finding a bra that goes with that special dress... uhg! That said... if you want to go through that, man, woman, or otherwise, you should have the choice. I guess that's all I'm wanting to say. People should have a choice of some kind.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally agree with you about formal wear. I am more of a pants girl than a dress girl. When I graduated from college I wore a nice dress shirt and capri pants under my cap and gown. I still felt nice and thought my outfit was cute.

    Load More Replies...
    Christophe Beunens
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It takes guts to swim against the waves, and go beyond what other people describe as normal. I am proud of what you do. Stay as you are!!

    Ashley Nell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this!! I personally am in the LGBTQ, I'm Bi and my parents are against it. I'm proving them wrong!

    Full Name
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally a non gender binary story that's actually well grounded in rationality and reason. This seems like a normal, well adjusted mom and a kid who's got a good head on his shoulders. If more people were sensible like these two it would go a LONG way into making this sort of thing no big deal. It's the SJW types who make people roll their eyes at and hate on kids like this. If all he's saying is "let us wear what we want regardless of our peeny's and ginney's" who gives a s**t? And "who gives a s**t?" is exactly where we should be with this issue. It's not hurting anybody (this isn't hormone therapy or surgery for children) so it shouldn't matter in the least.

    *MINTYMOONS*
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow this boy is amazing you slay queen ;)

    Load More Comments
    Cathie Lee
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more worried about what is so scandalous about girls shoulders that they have to have them covered 🤔

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's basically a still-prevalent dark age Catholic mentality.

    Load More Replies...
    ember avery
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lmao its 2020, accept people who they are already, if you don't its your choice and you'll get bad karma on you anyway

    ember avery
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    john that is not the same thing and also hope you learned your lesson about keeping your two cents to yourself

    Load More Replies...
    Elizabeth Schuyler
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He looks amazing, I wish I was that fierce

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alex K, I've encountered people who did not look fierce like lions, but they certainly had guts! Anyways, I don't think fierce is used here to mean "physically ferocious" so much as "distinctive and not afraid to be distinctive".

    Load More Replies...
    Jaekry
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMHO at his ages, it still can go either way, and to be honest it doesn't matter (to me). CJ should be allowed his own course. I assume his parents mean the best (most parents do btw) but it also means that his parents / ppl should leave CJ free to determine his/her/its course. This all aside, CJ looks like a powerhouse soul which should be protected and nourished at the same time. Wishing all the best. Life can be a struggle what ever your path may be.

    Leo H
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry but the article refers to cj as him...there is no mention of transitioning into a female...so its wrong to make that assumption

    Load More Replies...
    Kevin Billett
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a straight, 42yo dude, and kinda jealous of this kids fashion sense. You go CJ, you do you.

    pusheen buttercup
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never liked formal wear.. I do know that we still have events like that and it can be useful to learn how to get dressed up as a skill in life, however, I believe that should mean "wear some kind of suit or dress", and whether you are man or woman, or neutral, you should get to pick what uncomfortable thing you're having to be shoved into for hours. I'm female and I would much rather wear a suit. I'm still celebrating the occasion and being professional, but that pure hell of finding a bra that goes with that special dress... uhg! That said... if you want to go through that, man, woman, or otherwise, you should have the choice. I guess that's all I'm wanting to say. People should have a choice of some kind.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally agree with you about formal wear. I am more of a pants girl than a dress girl. When I graduated from college I wore a nice dress shirt and capri pants under my cap and gown. I still felt nice and thought my outfit was cute.

    Load More Replies...
    Christophe Beunens
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It takes guts to swim against the waves, and go beyond what other people describe as normal. I am proud of what you do. Stay as you are!!

    Ashley Nell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this!! I personally am in the LGBTQ, I'm Bi and my parents are against it. I'm proving them wrong!

    Full Name
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Finally a non gender binary story that's actually well grounded in rationality and reason. This seems like a normal, well adjusted mom and a kid who's got a good head on his shoulders. If more people were sensible like these two it would go a LONG way into making this sort of thing no big deal. It's the SJW types who make people roll their eyes at and hate on kids like this. If all he's saying is "let us wear what we want regardless of our peeny's and ginney's" who gives a s**t? And "who gives a s**t?" is exactly where we should be with this issue. It's not hurting anybody (this isn't hormone therapy or surgery for children) so it shouldn't matter in the least.

    *MINTYMOONS*
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow this boy is amazing you slay queen ;)

    Load More Comments
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