After Being Bullied, This Creative And Proud 12-Year-Old Helped 26 Schools Adopt A Dress Code That Wasn’t Gender Specific
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About two years ago, while I was doing a photoshoot for a renowned hairstylist, this cute little boy walked in with his parents, and I instantly liked him. He was quiet, but he wasn’t shy at all. The hairstylist’s team had invited him to the shoot so that he could get a glimpse of how photoshoots work. He was also allowed to help them with the hairstyling creations that we were shooting for the most prestigious competition in the hair industry, the North American Hairstyling Awards (NAHA).
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When I asked the team why CJ wanted to be involved in the photoshoot, they quickly explained to me that CJ’s dream was to become a hair and makeup artist and that he’d been passionately learning hair and makeup styling.
I immediately liked him even more! I loved the idea that no matter what his gender was, he had a keen interest in a female-oriented field (makeup) so early on. I loved seeing how focused he was on learning as much as he could about a hair and makeup career.
Sometime later, I came across an Instagram account that was run by a mom who was raising a ‘gender creative child.’ I started looking at the photos and immediately discovered that it was CJ from the photoshoot! I spent at least an hour reading the descriptions underneath the Instagram images and getting to know their story. It was awful to learn about the bullying he had to go through in his school. My heart broke for him, and I couldn’t believe how people could be so blind and cruel. And I am just not referring to the children bullying him at school how could parents tell their kids not to be friends with CJ (even though they had liked him before) because he had come out as gay? What kind of message is that for their children and future generations?
We all want to be accepted and loved, and everyone deserves the right to be accepted and loved. His peers rejected this little boy, and rejection is one of the cruelest things you can do to another human.
When people bully or are cruel to someone they don’t understand, I always wonder what they would do if they were in the same position. How would they feel if they put themselves in his shoes for a day? The thing that is amazing is that CJ only uses these experiences to help him grow stronger and be a role model for other children like him.
According to federal law, students have the right to dress and present in a way that is consistent with their gender identity, so long as they follow rules for how to dress that apply to all students. This includes how they dress at school every day as well as for dances, graduation, and other school events.
It’s super easy. Watch. Instead of saying “Dress for students should be collared shirts and casual pants for boys, and dresses or nice pantsuits for girls. If girls choose to wear spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, they must wear a sweater at all times.” Try something like this “Dress for students should be collared shirts, casual pants, dresses or nice pantsuits. If students choose to wear spaghetti straps or strapless dresses, they must wear a sweater at all times.”
He says “I haven’t always felt that way. I’ve been bullied, badly, but I’ve always come out stronger. Bullies aren’t going to get me to stop being me. I think it’s important for people – including bullies and haters – to see me because people need to see there are kids like me out there. Gender creative kids need to see other kids like themselves. The more people see people like me, the less ‘different’ we are and the more they accept people like me. Besides, I’m not ashamed of who I am.”
Not only has CJ been brave enough to follow his own path, but he has also helped to raise awareness in his school and community. He is currently an advocate for the LGBTQ and nonbinary communities and says that “My mom says that if you are in a position to help other people, you should. So that’s what I do. I helped make my elementary school the first school in the district to adopt a dress code that wasn’t gender-specific. One year later, the dress code was used as a model for implementation at every elementary school in the district. That’s 26 schools! Through meetings and email campaigns, I got my school district to stop sex/gender segregation in elementary school PE classes and to stop having special event dress codes that were illegal because they discriminated against gender creative students. If I can see a way to make life better and easier for gender creative people, I always try to do it. Being kind, sticking up for others and not being a jerk. That’s what life is all about.”
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I'm more worried about what is so scandalous about girls shoulders that they have to have them covered 🤔
It's basically a still-prevalent dark age Catholic mentality.
There are no dress codes in (public) Italian schools and we are one of the most Catholic countries, i think it's more a protestant/puritan thing
It isn't catholic or protestant, just sexist, overly-religious, and dark age.
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In some places for sure but it's also a fashion thing, especially in business environments where the dress code for men is much stricter and more well known such things are mentioned for females only because men wouldn't (and couldn't) ever dress that way anyway. When it comes to professional photography there is the rule to never photograph shoulders uncovered when doing portraits because it will look bad on the photo - unless you know what you are doing and have a model that is suitable for this. Most clients will thank the photographer for giving them advice to cover their shoulders, only very few have the body to look good with naked shoulders. So I wouldn't judge them for the dress code, there are so many events where a somewhat uniform look is wanted, and when pictures are being taken every women will be grateful for that hint, especially if they are going to put them online somewhere.
I was wondering about this as well. I know my son's high school (he's 19) had the same thing. What's more odd, is that I graduated in 1978, no one ever said a word about spaghetti straps or strapless dresses.
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If shoulders werent appealing then why did so many women buy shirts that deliberately showcased the shoulders..for a few months every women wore a shirt w holes designed to show off thst body area
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Ask a boy just entering puberty, haha. Believe me, they are totally fine with spaghetti straps.
Following this logic, boys should be always wearing long sleeved turtlenecks, but the ones that aren't skin tight. ♡ Maybe kids should all wear face masks too. Some pretty faces out there might be too distracting.
lmao its 2020, accept people who they are already, if you don't its your choice and you'll get bad karma on you anyway
john that is not the same thing and also hope you learned your lesson about keeping your two cents to yourself
You didn't keep yours to yourself. What a pretentious cnt.
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Why not? If you can not accept your gender/sex, then why do you expect others to accept your inability to accept you for what you are not? So why one case of inability to accept who you are (gender/sex/orientation) is ok, but other inabilities (thinking you are possum) is not?
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... accept people who they are NOT <---! If someone believes he's a possum (can not accept that he is what he is), he goes directly to mental care institution.
Not the same. Not at all.
that is really not the same at all.
He looks amazing, I wish I was that fierce
Alex K, I've encountered people who did not look fierce like lions, but they certainly had guts! Anyways, I don't think fierce is used here to mean "physically ferocious" so much as "distinctive and not afraid to be distinctive".
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fierce is not a word that i would describe him with
I'm more worried about what is so scandalous about girls shoulders that they have to have them covered 🤔
It's basically a still-prevalent dark age Catholic mentality.
There are no dress codes in (public) Italian schools and we are one of the most Catholic countries, i think it's more a protestant/puritan thing
It isn't catholic or protestant, just sexist, overly-religious, and dark age.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
In some places for sure but it's also a fashion thing, especially in business environments where the dress code for men is much stricter and more well known such things are mentioned for females only because men wouldn't (and couldn't) ever dress that way anyway. When it comes to professional photography there is the rule to never photograph shoulders uncovered when doing portraits because it will look bad on the photo - unless you know what you are doing and have a model that is suitable for this. Most clients will thank the photographer for giving them advice to cover their shoulders, only very few have the body to look good with naked shoulders. So I wouldn't judge them for the dress code, there are so many events where a somewhat uniform look is wanted, and when pictures are being taken every women will be grateful for that hint, especially if they are going to put them online somewhere.
I was wondering about this as well. I know my son's high school (he's 19) had the same thing. What's more odd, is that I graduated in 1978, no one ever said a word about spaghetti straps or strapless dresses.
This comment has been deleted.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
If shoulders werent appealing then why did so many women buy shirts that deliberately showcased the shoulders..for a few months every women wore a shirt w holes designed to show off thst body area
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Ask a boy just entering puberty, haha. Believe me, they are totally fine with spaghetti straps.
Following this logic, boys should be always wearing long sleeved turtlenecks, but the ones that aren't skin tight. ♡ Maybe kids should all wear face masks too. Some pretty faces out there might be too distracting.
lmao its 2020, accept people who they are already, if you don't its your choice and you'll get bad karma on you anyway
john that is not the same thing and also hope you learned your lesson about keeping your two cents to yourself
You didn't keep yours to yourself. What a pretentious cnt.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Why not? If you can not accept your gender/sex, then why do you expect others to accept your inability to accept you for what you are not? So why one case of inability to accept who you are (gender/sex/orientation) is ok, but other inabilities (thinking you are possum) is not?
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
... accept people who they are NOT <---! If someone believes he's a possum (can not accept that he is what he is), he goes directly to mental care institution.
Not the same. Not at all.
that is really not the same at all.
He looks amazing, I wish I was that fierce
Alex K, I've encountered people who did not look fierce like lions, but they certainly had guts! Anyways, I don't think fierce is used here to mean "physically ferocious" so much as "distinctive and not afraid to be distinctive".
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
fierce is not a word that i would describe him with