“It Would Be Genuinely Embarrassing For Me To Wear The Dress”: Bride Livid After Bridesmaid Drops Out Because Of The Dress
Bridesmaid dresses are notorious for being unflattering and ugly. We smile politely and tell the bride, “Wow! I love it!” But on the inside, we usually know that we’re just wearing it to appease our friend. We’re lucky if we can get one more use out of the dress for another event in the future, but more often than not, they are swiftly discarded at thrift stores or sold online the morning after the wedding. But the most important dress of the occasion is the bride’s gown anyway, so there should be a bit of wiggle room when it comes to what the bridesmaids wear. As long as they are all comfortable, look lovely and do not need to break the bank paying for their dresses, the bride should be satisfied. After all, they are supposed to be her closest and most cherished friends, so they should get to enjoy her day as well.
Unfortunately for one bridesmaid, her soon-to-be married friend has made it clear she is much more concerned about appearances than keeping everyone happy. Last week, PhysicsVast9133 on Reddit shared the story of how she had to drop out of a close friend’s wedding party after the bride was too stubborn to bend on the bridesmaid dress situation.
Below, you will find the full explanation where the bridesmaid asks if she did anything wrong, many of the responses the post has received from sympathetic readers, and an interview with Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. Let us know in the comments what you think about all of this, and if you’re ever been involved in bridesmaid dress drama, we’d love to hear your stories as well. Then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article featuring wedding day drama, check out this story next.
After expressing discomfort about the dress choice, this bridesmaid is wondering if she was wrong for dropping out of her friend’s wedding
Image credits: George Milton (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PhysicsVast9133
The bridesmaid even provided a photo of the dress
Image credits: beta.davidsbridal.com
It is understandable for a bride to become stressed out and get caught up in all of the details as her big day is approaching. But of all the things to cause a fuss over, the bridesmaid dresses do not seem like the most important detail. What should be paramount is that all of your friends and family members are gathered together in one place, and you all get to celebrate your love for your partner for one wonderful day.
To gain some insight on this topic from an expert, we reached out to Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. First, we asked her if it is important for bridesmaids to be comfortable in their dresses. “Everyone deserves to wear something they feel comfortable in, especially when they’re expected to be on full display in a wedding ceremony,” Jessica told Bored Panda. “To keep your bridesmaids happy, make sure each person feels good in the style they will be wearing on the big day.”
We also asked if one possible solution for this situation would have been allowing the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses. “A great option for everyone is for the bride to choose a particular color from a dress company and let each bridesmaid choose the style she would like to wear,” Jessica shared. “The group will look unified since they are all wearing the same color, but each dress can be different to accommodate each woman’s personal style.”
She then responded to some of the comments from readers, providing more insight into the situation
Finally, we asked Jessica if it’s the responsibility of the bridesmaids to wear whatever the bride chooses or if it is the bride’s responsibility to ensure they are all comfortable. “These matters can be a delicate balance of preferences and politeness,” Jessica told Bored Panda. “Standing beside a friend on her wedding day is an honor and a privilege, but it also often comes at a cost of both time and money. The last thing a bride wants is to have a bitter bridesmaid who feels forced to spend money on an overpriced dress she doesn’t even feel comfortable in.”
“These girls are your friends, not hired help, so it’s best to make their presence and participation feel appreciated,” Jessica explained. “One easy way to show your gratitude and keep your bridal squad happy is by offering them freedom of choice regarding their attire. By opting for the mismatched look, each bridesmaid gets to wear a style she feels comfortable in without sacrificing the bride’s vision. It’s a perfect compromise where everyone wins!”
Though there are a variety of reasons a bride may allow her wedding party to pick their own dresses, the most important one in reference to this story is to be sure that the bridesmaids feel comfortable and confident. If you’ve ever worn a dress, or any article of clothing for that matter, that is too tight for you or just doesn’t feel right, it can be an extremely frustrating experience. The bridesmaid even mentioned in a comment that she is currently working through an eating disorder and in therapy to help get better. That is a very difficult situation to be in, and her friends should be supportive and sympathetic.
At a wedding, you want to enjoy the evening, dance your heart out and eat the delicious dinner and cake. The last thing anyone wants to be worried about is how their dress fits and whether or not it is flattering. As many of the commenters assured this bridesmaid, if her friend really cared about her, she would not have to choose between wearing a dress that she would hate or being a part of her friend’s special day.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation below. If you’ve ever been a bride, what rules did you set for your bridesmaids in terms of what they had to wear? And if you’ve ever been a bridesmaid, feel free to let us know how your dress was chosen as well. Sadly, these friends might be unable to resolve this situation prior to the wedding, but if that’s the case, at least this bridesmaid has now seen her friend’s true colors.
Commenters have overwhelmingly sided with the bridesmaid, reassuring her that the bride should have handled the situation very differently
Bride: "You embarrassed me in the group chat." No, you embarrassed yourself by being an unsympathetic, entitled, self-absorbed twat.
Agreed. She was embarrassed because someone actually questioned her "vision" of what the wedding should be.
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This is why I said to my bridesmaids ‘Hey, I’m wearing X colour. Just show up in something that vaguely goes with it’. Because I had a disabled bridesmaid, a short skinny bridesmaid, a very large bridesmaid and there was no way a single style of dress was gonna work. I’ve turned down being a bridesmaid because the dress was a strapless tight number and my fat backside would fall out of it. And the bride demanded I lose weight and cover up my tattoos so…no.
For my wedding I asked my bridesmaids to wear red or burgundy, at least knee length. They put their own twist on it and it was great! My friend asked for a specific shade of blue, I found the dress second hand for £10! So much easier, and less drama, when you're more flexible. Also that means that people can wear the clothes again.
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Accidentally created a similar situation to this for my own wedding, & a bridesmaid told me bluntly what i was picking would not suit her. Felt terrible! In the end encouraged each friend to pick a dress under a broad theme in a different colour each, so they felt good in them, then gave them the ££ after. What is this brides problem making everyone have to be identical !? This person is a rubbish friend and an idiot - definitely NTA!!!
Bride: "You embarrassed me in the group chat." No, you embarrassed yourself by being an unsympathetic, entitled, self-absorbed twat.
Agreed. She was embarrassed because someone actually questioned her "vision" of what the wedding should be.
Load More Replies... This is why I said to my bridesmaids ‘Hey, I’m wearing X colour. Just show up in something that vaguely goes with it’. Because I had a disabled bridesmaid, a short skinny bridesmaid, a very large bridesmaid and there was no way a single style of dress was gonna work. I’ve turned down being a bridesmaid because the dress was a strapless tight number and my fat backside would fall out of it. And the bride demanded I lose weight and cover up my tattoos so…no.
For my wedding I asked my bridesmaids to wear red or burgundy, at least knee length. They put their own twist on it and it was great! My friend asked for a specific shade of blue, I found the dress second hand for £10! So much easier, and less drama, when you're more flexible. Also that means that people can wear the clothes again.
Load More Replies... Accidentally created a similar situation to this for my own wedding, & a bridesmaid told me bluntly what i was picking would not suit her. Felt terrible! In the end encouraged each friend to pick a dress under a broad theme in a different colour each, so they felt good in them, then gave them the ££ after. What is this brides problem making everyone have to be identical !? This person is a rubbish friend and an idiot - definitely NTA!!!
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