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Muslim Bridesmaid Asks If She’s A Jerk For Not Compromising And Keeping Her Hijab On For Her Friend’s Wedding
Being there to see your friend saying that magical ‘yes’ to the love of their life on their wedding day can safely be dubbed one of the most glorious moments in anyone’s life. However, as glorious as the occasion is, it tends to bring about miscommunication and misunderstandings, as well as a lot of hurt feelings.
Sadly, the latter was very much the case for this woman who shared her story on the subreddit r/AmIthe[Jerk]. The bride-to-be, the OP’s friend of 5 years, got offended when she realized the OP was to wear her hijab during the ceremony, as in her eyes, all bridesmaids were to look the same. This caused quite the row between these friends, and the internet was there to vote on who the jerk was in the situation.
RELATED:
Being a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding is both a big honor and a great responsibility, yet some brides take their demands too far
Image credits: LightFieldStudios * (not the actual photo)
One Muslim woman wondered whether she was in the wrong for refusing to remove her hijab so that the bride could have her picture-perfect wedding
Image credits: Photog84 (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AITA-Hijabi
The hijab is one of the most misunderstood pieces of cloth, yet its religious significance should not be understated
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Although the wedding is the day when the bride and groom’s wishes get fulfilled—it is their day, after all—there are certain things that are non-negotiable, especially when it comes to a guest’s religious beliefs, as well as what they entail.
Many agree—the hijab is one of the most misunderstood pieces of cloth. As stated by Aminah Mohsin in The Express Tribune, this has everything to do with people’s restricted minds rather than the style and amount of clothes on one’s body, especially when considering the other religious symbols people wear on the daily without much criticism.
The common belief tends to be that the woman wearing the hijab has no choice in the matter. In some parts of the world, such as Afghanistan and Iran, women are required to cover their bodies from head to toe in the name of religion, as not doing so can lead to severe punishment. But, as Aminah asks, is it fair to generalize the concept of adorning a hijab and making it synonymous with oppression?
Many women choose to wear the hijab, and it’s their right to do so. Being asked to remove it can be seen as Islamophobic
Image credits: jsanz_photo (not the actual photo)
To wear or not wear the hijab is often a religious choice made by the woman wearing it, and the belief that Muslim women do not choose to wear the hijab is dangerous and problematic. As Hawa Fuseini states, women should not be violated or harassed for their choice that does not harm anyone.
The demand for a woman to remove her hijab perpetuates Islamophobia and disrespects the fundamental beliefs and constitutional rights of Muslim women who choose to wear the hijab. These women have often been harassed, fired from jobs, denied access to public places, and otherwise discriminated against — and, like in this case, been bullied by friends.
It is not surprising that the internet decided that the OP was not in the wrong for standing down as a bridesmaid after the argument with the bride. However, there were those who left Islamophobic comments that the OP later addressed in updates to the post. All in all, we hope that the situation turns around and they can salvage their friendship and celebrate the wedding together.
Unsurprisingly, the internet very much sided with the OP, seeing nothing wrong in the way she handled the situation
What do you think ?
Monday 2 years ago
I'll never understand why brides are so obsessed with styling their bridesmaids. What difference does it make if they don't all perfectly match? It's not like staring at your wedding photos is a popular hobby.
Zenozenobee 2 years ago
Playing doll? Peer pressure? My sister started to plan a simple wedding. We're 4 "bridesmaids" (témoins), 2 of them are permanently giving her "advice". And now that I have my dress and they all know it (as we were all supposed to Wear whatever we want) they pushing for the four of us wearing pink dress... And now I'm the pain in the a*s because not only I am not going to wear pink (not to mention I already paid my dress) but I also bailed out the Bachelorette party because... Well, it will cost 400€ for each of the 20 guests. Talk to my sister, she's not into confrontation and her Friends are too happy to help. They convinced her a wedding has to be something perfect (meaning Instagramable esthetic) because it's a one life time party... It's just a show
Load More Replies...
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
A long time ago my wife and I were co-leaders of my daughter's Girl Scout troop. One of the mothers was Muslim and always wore a hijab. Since I was a co-leader, I went to an event where the mothers of all the scouts would be in attendance, and as we walked in, I saw this particular mother, and she did not have her hijab on. I'm not religious and I have no connection to Islam. The second I saw her, I turned away and asked my wife to let the mother know I was there, then come back and get me when the mother had put her hijab on, and I left the room. I did this out of respect for her, not because I felt any taboo about seeing her without a hijab. The point of this story is that in this day and age, everyone understands that if a Muslim woman wears a hijab, it's rude to ask her to take it off, or to put her in a situation where she feels like she should be wearing it when she isn't. This bride should have known better, especially because she understood the modesty concerns!
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
I should have said, "The second I saw her, I turned away and asked my wife to let the mother know I was there, then come back and get me when the mother was comfortable." I didn't mean to imply that I expected the mother to put her hijab on for me, just that I wanted to respect her, and let her know that I was there without possibly making her uncomfortable. The mother thanked me for doing what I did, btw.
Load More Replies...
Kristal 2 years ago
I mean, then she needs to make sure all the bridesmaids need to dye their hair the same color so they can match, right? My goodness, just ridiculous.
Samuel Pelatan 2 years ago
Let's check their diet and weigth them, they must be absolutely the same !
Load More Replies...
Monday 2 years ago
I'll never understand why brides are so obsessed with styling their bridesmaids. What difference does it make if they don't all perfectly match? It's not like staring at your wedding photos is a popular hobby.
Zenozenobee 2 years ago
Playing doll? Peer pressure? My sister started to plan a simple wedding. We're 4 "bridesmaids" (témoins), 2 of them are permanently giving her "advice". And now that I have my dress and they all know it (as we were all supposed to Wear whatever we want) they pushing for the four of us wearing pink dress... And now I'm the pain in the a*s because not only I am not going to wear pink (not to mention I already paid my dress) but I also bailed out the Bachelorette party because... Well, it will cost 400€ for each of the 20 guests. Talk to my sister, she's not into confrontation and her Friends are too happy to help. They convinced her a wedding has to be something perfect (meaning Instagramable esthetic) because it's a one life time party... It's just a show
Load More Replies... Rick Seiden 2 years ago
A long time ago my wife and I were co-leaders of my daughter's Girl Scout troop. One of the mothers was Muslim and always wore a hijab. Since I was a co-leader, I went to an event where the mothers of all the scouts would be in attendance, and as we walked in, I saw this particular mother, and she did not have her hijab on. I'm not religious and I have no connection to Islam. The second I saw her, I turned away and asked my wife to let the mother know I was there, then come back and get me when the mother had put her hijab on, and I left the room. I did this out of respect for her, not because I felt any taboo about seeing her without a hijab. The point of this story is that in this day and age, everyone understands that if a Muslim woman wears a hijab, it's rude to ask her to take it off, or to put her in a situation where she feels like she should be wearing it when she isn't. This bride should have known better, especially because she understood the modesty concerns!
Rick Seiden 2 years ago
I should have said, "The second I saw her, I turned away and asked my wife to let the mother know I was there, then come back and get me when the mother was comfortable." I didn't mean to imply that I expected the mother to put her hijab on for me, just that I wanted to respect her, and let her know that I was there without possibly making her uncomfortable. The mother thanked me for doing what I did, btw.
Load More Replies... Kristal 2 years ago
I mean, then she needs to make sure all the bridesmaids need to dye their hair the same color so they can match, right? My goodness, just ridiculous.
Samuel Pelatan 2 years ago
Let's check their diet and weigth them, they must be absolutely the same !
Load More Replies...
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