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“This Will Also Double As The Wedding Favors”: Bride Comes Up With Ingenious Way To Prevent Guests From Drinking Too Much During Wedding
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“This Will Also Double As The Wedding Favors”: Bride Comes Up With Ingenious Way To Prevent Guests From Drinking Too Much During Wedding

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After the ceremony part of a wedding, the whole event can and will often turn into a party. This is supposed to be a special occasion to celebrate, after all. This can also mean the hosts after a tiring day need to potentially babysit a large, raucous, and drunk group who are ostensibly there to celebrate.

So one internet user shared a potential solution proposed by one bride. It involved creating ID badges for all the guests, complete with photos, that would, in theory, help limit how much alcohol they consumed. As one can imagine, the comments were divisive, as some mocked the idea while others thought it was clever.

Managing a horde of drunk guests is probably the last thing newlyweds want to do on their first evening together

Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)

So a bride posted what she thought was an innovative solution

Image credits: IndividualCoyote8427

Guests could even keep the ID cards as wedding favors, or so she thought

Image credits: Ono Kosuki (not the actual photo)

Adults prefer to be treated like adults, even if that means they get to make bad choices

Image credits: Engin Akyurt (not the actual photo)

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Alcohol can be a touchy subject since it tends to go hand in hand with drunkenness, cultural expectations, and even personal identity. And this is before we get into alcoholism, the cost of purchasing it, and the health risks. So it’s no wonder that the bride wanted some, frankly, healthy limits on how much people were drinking. Some can’t help themselves at an open bar and will just keep drinking beyond what is healthy. As adults, they are completely free to do that, but the bride is at least keeping in mind that many will have to drive after the event. But the issue here is not her intentions, rather, her plan to limit drinking through ID badges and, presumably, some sort of checking system at the bar.

Most commenters noted that adults don’t like to be treated like non-adults. Once you are used to freedom, you aren’t going to willingly give it up unless there is a good reason. Alcohol is one of those hard-earned rights that most adults will not part with lightly. Because it’s often not just a drink, but a sort of social glue. A study of Scottish women found that drinking was more than just the consumption of a beverage, it was seen as a method to construct one’s identity. People used alcohol as a gateway to feeling younger again or to, briefly, leave behind certain norms and expectations. While it’s possible that people should perhaps seek therapy instead, it at least explains why someone might get defensive over alcohol.

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Drinking at social events is so ingrained in our culture that even the idea of limits can be too far for some

Image credits: Miriam Salgado (not the actual photo)

Drinking already has a lot of symbols attached to it, based on cultural norms. In Austria, traditionally, certain drinks are only consumed in general gatherings, while beverages like schnapps (what a fun word) are reserved for gatherings with people closer to you, like friends and family. Access to one drink over another then literally signifies your status in the group. So the bride in the story is perhaps making a mistake by limiting the drinks, as it makes her guests, some of which are, no doubt, close friends and family, feel like they are being put into a more general category. Even though the reasoning is legitimate, they may feel that it’s like being given food stamps to eat at a family gathering.

Limiting alcohol might also send a signal to the guests that the host sees it as a moral issue. After all, in certain parts of the United States and the UK, drinking is frowned upon. So the guests might feel like the host sees drinking as a somewhat necessary evil and thereby would feel judged. It’s not exactly easy to party and let loose if you think there is someone watching and judging you. ID badges are also aggressively bureaucratic, and most people would associate them with paperwork, horrible photos, and other unpleasantries. To cap it all off, the bride mentioned using the badge as a wedding favor and I struggle to imagine a worse gift than a piece of plastic that happens to have a low-resolution image of my face on it.

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Many commenters wanted to know more, and the OP gave some additional details

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In general, the whole concept was divisive and raised more questions than it answered

Image credits: Charlotte Harrison (not the actual photo)

Many commenters speculated on how it would actually work

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There were some who understood the bride’s reasoning behind the idea

Some commenters even shared their experiences with similar systems

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amcgregor7419 avatar
Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weddings can be expensive and messy with a free bar and I get where she's coming from but there are other ways (time limits, types of drinks or simply not having a free bar). ID cards just comes across as too controling.

juanjo_1 avatar
Juanjo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends and I would challenge on who ended up with a better score, so it won't stop us drinking too much.

Load More Replies...
nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The way to handle this is to (1) have a cash bar, not an open bar; people will drink less if they have to pay for it; (2) ensure your venue hires trained bartenders able to identify and cut off over-drinkers; and (3) if necessary, note to the bartenders the few people you're worried about overdoing it. Personally, I wouldn't overdo it if I had to drive an hour, but being infantilized would annoy tf out of me.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cash bar could work. I suggested tokens, too. Alcoholics tend to spend away, though. I wonder if she has people in her family/friends who can't behave. Not everyone is responsible.

Load More Replies...
omboyganesh avatar
OmBoyGanesh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, as a guest I’d be expect throw down a minimum of $2000 to travel, book hotel , buy gift & eat out, to celebrate in your happiness that ultimately doesn’t hold much value in my own world (wedding really aren’t that important to the majority of guest; rather obligations. No matter how happy they are about the union) and the bride is worried I can’t be responsible for myself??? It’s insulting and o don’t even drink more than wine with dinner now & then. I’m not about to invest in a celebration where I’m micromanaged & regulated in such a way. It’s not about the alcohol, but the cringe of it all. It’d be a hard pass from me. I’d decline the invite as it’s the week I’m having hangnail surgery.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not everything is about you. This isn't micromanaging; it's being responsible for people who attend a party. Some people have problems. In order to ensure the safety and enjoyment of guests, sometimes rules are set. Drink as much as you like at home. Expect rules in someone else's. I think she could have made this simpler with drink tokens equating to drinks. 3 shots, or 5 beers, something like that. Honestly, if you're this angry over it, then I think this rule was meant for you.

Load More Replies...
prettyprettykittie avatar
Genericist
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the references in the piece BP linked to about alcohol being frowned upon in the UK are at least twenty years old. Nothing solely referenced that long ago can be assumed to be current. I've personally never been anywhere in the UK where drinking was frowned upon :p

ceecu1985 avatar
CatWoman1014
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would provide a certain amount of alcohol for free for guests and when that runs out it’s a cash bar. That might help them not get greedy

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly surprised at all the judgemental commenters here saying if you can't bear a dry wedding you're short of an alcoholic. I can go for days, weeks or months without a drink, but as an adult l decide when or how much I want to drink at a party and if YOU have a problem with that the trauma is on you and so is the treatment. Weddings are, by definition, boring, and l'd rather skip them, but if l attend l'll make sure l don't have to bend over some judgemental bridezilla because I've PAID to attend.

rabitaille avatar
Paul Rabit
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you, Pittsburgh. You and I can go to the bar and leave these judgy teetotalers to their dry chicken dinners lol.

Load More Replies...
laceneil avatar
Lace Neil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My older brother had a dry wedding. Cue many guests bringing hip flasks and most of us cutting the reception short to go and look for a pub.

phil84vaive avatar
Phil Vaive
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you'd rather get drunk than spend the night celebrating your brother's wedding. And you think he's the problem?

Load More Replies...
poppycorn avatar
Nikole
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So people bring flasks and get progressively angrier at the condescending, controlling bride…?

x-lima-bean-x avatar
Kiwii Stone
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually thought this was a pretty smart idea - I'd suggest switching from a drink per hour to 4 drinks (for a four hour event)

ldmonteith avatar
renka avatar
Ren Ka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. Noticed in the post that the bride lives an hour away from the wedding venue, asked the guests (most are out of towners) to book accommodations near the venue, and they all booked accommodations near her home. If the guests are planning on drinking beyond her guidelines, I hope they aren't driving to and from the venue.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A wedding favor is to remind you in the future of your experience at the wedding. I don't think any of the guests need that for this wedding, but the bride's choice is certainly foolproof in that respect.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, nothing adults like more than to be handled like children that can't control themselves. This is a perfect way to keep costs down as I feel a lot less people will RSVP.

mallorymorrison avatar
Mallory Morrison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just tacky. If you are worried about guests driving drunk rent a school bus to drop people off at their hotels. I've been to several weddings that offered a shuttle to prevent drunk driving incidents,

michelembennett1010att_net avatar
michele mbennett1010@att.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about 2 free drink tickets to all adults and after that it's a cash only bar with a last call an hour before reception is over. Most event facilities are from x hour to x hour. Liability falls on the bar tender or people who own the event facility or bar service. Also give everyone a slip with Uber and Lyft phone numbers with the drink tickets.

kathmorgan avatar
kath morgan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the predicament. Had a couple of alcoholics in my life when I got married and as much as I would have liked to have a drink, I ended up just not serving alcohol. It sucked.

simon_hirschi avatar
Terran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on how much I like you, I would either not attend the wedding or bring about 10 flasks filled with different beverages and be the most popular person at the wedding. Although nobody in my country would get that idea in the first place.

kathlenaball avatar
Lena
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is rude and tacky. It's not the brides just to play mommy. They are her guests and should be given the opportunity to enjoy themselves without being controlled. Cash bar or only open for cocktail hour.

destinygilbert_1 avatar
TruthoftheHeart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I'm not having alcohol at my wedding. If people really have problems staying sober for one night they need to look at their own lives. It's supposed to be a day to celebrate and spend time with family.

rhodaguirreparras avatar
ajones_1 avatar
rlsteingass avatar
Bunny
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In what world is this idea "pretty smart"? This isn't Romper Room. If there are certain people the bride is worried about, just don't invite them. Problem solved. Doing it with a punch card is ridiculous and insulting.

Load More Replies...
arao_91 avatar
White Sauce Hot Sauce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she can't trust her guests to not drink too much, maybe they shouldn't come to the wedding or be involved in her life.

amcgregor7419 avatar
Tams21
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weddings can be expensive and messy with a free bar and I get where she's coming from but there are other ways (time limits, types of drinks or simply not having a free bar). ID cards just comes across as too controling.

juanjo_1 avatar
Juanjo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends and I would challenge on who ended up with a better score, so it won't stop us drinking too much.

Load More Replies...
nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The way to handle this is to (1) have a cash bar, not an open bar; people will drink less if they have to pay for it; (2) ensure your venue hires trained bartenders able to identify and cut off over-drinkers; and (3) if necessary, note to the bartenders the few people you're worried about overdoing it. Personally, I wouldn't overdo it if I had to drive an hour, but being infantilized would annoy tf out of me.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cash bar could work. I suggested tokens, too. Alcoholics tend to spend away, though. I wonder if she has people in her family/friends who can't behave. Not everyone is responsible.

Load More Replies...
omboyganesh avatar
OmBoyGanesh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, as a guest I’d be expect throw down a minimum of $2000 to travel, book hotel , buy gift & eat out, to celebrate in your happiness that ultimately doesn’t hold much value in my own world (wedding really aren’t that important to the majority of guest; rather obligations. No matter how happy they are about the union) and the bride is worried I can’t be responsible for myself??? It’s insulting and o don’t even drink more than wine with dinner now & then. I’m not about to invest in a celebration where I’m micromanaged & regulated in such a way. It’s not about the alcohol, but the cringe of it all. It’d be a hard pass from me. I’d decline the invite as it’s the week I’m having hangnail surgery.

ladyfirerose avatar
Vira
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not everything is about you. This isn't micromanaging; it's being responsible for people who attend a party. Some people have problems. In order to ensure the safety and enjoyment of guests, sometimes rules are set. Drink as much as you like at home. Expect rules in someone else's. I think she could have made this simpler with drink tokens equating to drinks. 3 shots, or 5 beers, something like that. Honestly, if you're this angry over it, then I think this rule was meant for you.

Load More Replies...
prettyprettykittie avatar
Genericist
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the references in the piece BP linked to about alcohol being frowned upon in the UK are at least twenty years old. Nothing solely referenced that long ago can be assumed to be current. I've personally never been anywhere in the UK where drinking was frowned upon :p

ceecu1985 avatar
CatWoman1014
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would provide a certain amount of alcohol for free for guests and when that runs out it’s a cash bar. That might help them not get greedy

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly surprised at all the judgemental commenters here saying if you can't bear a dry wedding you're short of an alcoholic. I can go for days, weeks or months without a drink, but as an adult l decide when or how much I want to drink at a party and if YOU have a problem with that the trauma is on you and so is the treatment. Weddings are, by definition, boring, and l'd rather skip them, but if l attend l'll make sure l don't have to bend over some judgemental bridezilla because I've PAID to attend.

rabitaille avatar
Paul Rabit
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with you, Pittsburgh. You and I can go to the bar and leave these judgy teetotalers to their dry chicken dinners lol.

Load More Replies...
laceneil avatar
Lace Neil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My older brother had a dry wedding. Cue many guests bringing hip flasks and most of us cutting the reception short to go and look for a pub.

phil84vaive avatar
Phil Vaive
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you'd rather get drunk than spend the night celebrating your brother's wedding. And you think he's the problem?

Load More Replies...
poppycorn avatar
Nikole
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So people bring flasks and get progressively angrier at the condescending, controlling bride…?

x-lima-bean-x avatar
Kiwii Stone
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually thought this was a pretty smart idea - I'd suggest switching from a drink per hour to 4 drinks (for a four hour event)

ldmonteith avatar
renka avatar
Ren Ka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. Noticed in the post that the bride lives an hour away from the wedding venue, asked the guests (most are out of towners) to book accommodations near the venue, and they all booked accommodations near her home. If the guests are planning on drinking beyond her guidelines, I hope they aren't driving to and from the venue.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A wedding favor is to remind you in the future of your experience at the wedding. I don't think any of the guests need that for this wedding, but the bride's choice is certainly foolproof in that respect.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, nothing adults like more than to be handled like children that can't control themselves. This is a perfect way to keep costs down as I feel a lot less people will RSVP.

mallorymorrison avatar
Mallory Morrison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just tacky. If you are worried about guests driving drunk rent a school bus to drop people off at their hotels. I've been to several weddings that offered a shuttle to prevent drunk driving incidents,

michelembennett1010att_net avatar
michele mbennett1010@att.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about 2 free drink tickets to all adults and after that it's a cash only bar with a last call an hour before reception is over. Most event facilities are from x hour to x hour. Liability falls on the bar tender or people who own the event facility or bar service. Also give everyone a slip with Uber and Lyft phone numbers with the drink tickets.

kathmorgan avatar
kath morgan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the predicament. Had a couple of alcoholics in my life when I got married and as much as I would have liked to have a drink, I ended up just not serving alcohol. It sucked.

simon_hirschi avatar
Terran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depending on how much I like you, I would either not attend the wedding or bring about 10 flasks filled with different beverages and be the most popular person at the wedding. Although nobody in my country would get that idea in the first place.

kathlenaball avatar
Lena
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is rude and tacky. It's not the brides just to play mommy. They are her guests and should be given the opportunity to enjoy themselves without being controlled. Cash bar or only open for cocktail hour.

destinygilbert_1 avatar
TruthoftheHeart
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I'm not having alcohol at my wedding. If people really have problems staying sober for one night they need to look at their own lives. It's supposed to be a day to celebrate and spend time with family.

rhodaguirreparras avatar
ajones_1 avatar
rlsteingass avatar
Bunny
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In what world is this idea "pretty smart"? This isn't Romper Room. If there are certain people the bride is worried about, just don't invite them. Problem solved. Doing it with a punch card is ridiculous and insulting.

Load More Replies...
arao_91 avatar
White Sauce Hot Sauce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she can't trust her guests to not drink too much, maybe they shouldn't come to the wedding or be involved in her life.

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