This Wedding Invitation Is Causing A Ruckus On Social Media For Putting Guests Into 3 Different Groups
363Kviews
The Covid-19 pandemic is changing the landscape of weddings as we know it. While some people are postponing their celebrations of love for a post-Coronapocalypse world, others are doing what they can to get married ASAP. When New Yorker Marie von Aue posted a photo of an unusual notice that came with a wedding invitation on Twitter, she started a heated discussion. Because of the coronavirus, the bride and groom who sent out the invitation divided people up into 3 groups, based on how close they are to the happy couple.
While those in Group A get preferential treatment and ought to RSVP quickly, those in groups B and C should keep an eye out to see if there are any openings at the wedding. Just in case someone cancels. Some internet users were appalled by this wedding invitation but others thought that there was nothing wrong with it because we’re in the middle of a pandemic.
Bored Panda wanted to get an expert opinion about the invitation that von Aue received and about how the pandemic has affected the wedding industry, so we reached out to The Celebrant Society. Scroll down for the interview.
Mary von Aue posted a photo of a very peculiar notice that came with a wedding invitation
Image credits: von_owie
Image credits: von_owie
Anna from The Celebrant Society told us that it’s a very unique time for everyone right now and that couple are trying to navigate these situations to the best of their abilities while trying to keep their family, friends, and other loved ones happy and involved.
“Guests should really try to understand that couples are trying their hardest to follow guidelines, recommendations, and instructions from their venues and vendors while also trying to celebrate their union. It’s a time for everyone to try their hardest to be understanding, compassionate, and flexible.”
Anna stressed that the wedding industry is struggling badly right now. “Vendors have seen booked out calendars dissolve into full lists of cancellations for months ahead. There’s no endpoint right now and we’re just trying to stay afloat until life gets back to some semblance of normal.”
People had very different opinions about whether or not it was right or wrong. Some thought that the notice was very rude!
Image credits: anne_k_easton
Image credits: MeganKelleyHall
Image credits: samkeslr
Image credits: cppilgram
Image credits: von_owie
Some are even dealing with similar situations!
Image credits: Cayce333
However, others pointed out that this sort of notice is alright and that the practice is nothing new
Image credits: MandaRoseEich
Image credits: sara_bee
Image credits: robinwarshaw
Image credits: Cheeze_Machine
Image credits: wb___maine
Image credits: Roberta_Glass
Image credits: threejuniormnts
Image credits: MichelleGhsoub
Image credits: Taco_Jones
Image credits: csrutledge
Image credits: MeganMcGilloway
Weddings can be a real hassle. You can be sure that whatever decisions you end up making for your wedding, there will be plenty of people who disagree with you. Even if it’s a stranger’s wedding. So it’s no wonder that plenty of people had something to say about the notice that came with the invitation. Some Twitter users were civil while others couldn’t control their expletives.
Whatever people’s opinions in this particular case, getting married in the middle of this pandemic can be a logistical nightmare. The rules for how many guests you can have and what you’re allowed to do are different depending on where you live and what the date is. So while certain states in the US might have their own rules, the British across the pond have their own take on what is and isn’t allowed regarding weddings.
For example, the BBC reports that wedding ceremonies of up to 30 people are allowed to take place in England from July 4. Previously, weddings had been almost entirely banned from March 23. Meanwhile, from August 1, up to 30 people will be allowed to attend the reception afterward (only 6 people outside and 2 households inside can attend them before this date).
So imagine having not just a wedding to plan but also having to become an expert in Covid-19 regulations as you do it. No wonder that some people might resort to sending out notices like the one that von Aue posted!
What do you think about the peculiar wedding invitation and notice that von Aue posted, dear Pandas? Would you send out something similar or do you think it’s wrong to create a hierarchy of people based on how much you like them? Let us know in the comment section below.
363Kviews
Share on Facebook
Invite your nearest and dearest and leave it at that, B & C lists aren't about bringing people you love to your wedding, they're about filling seats so the photos look good and hoping for gifts.
You speak the truth!
Comedian Patton Oswalt: "Wedding invitations are Gift Subpoenas."
Exactly. A gift grab! If you don't want to invite that many people, just don't invite the B and C groups at all. You can however send them wedding announcements after the fact. It's not considered discourteous and you may wind up getting a few extra gifts that way, without looking like a greedy guts.
Exactly! All of this is a result of a wedding being turned into an "event". It reminds me of a thread on Facebook that was discussing the cost of weddings these days. One group was justifying the high prices because of the cost of wedding planners and venues. The other group's attitude was Oh, please. Plenty of them got married in the church they grew up in, or in someone's backyard. And the wedding planner was Mom or Sis. I have no patience with how weddings went from being a celebration of (hopefully) abiding love to whatever you call these extravaganzas.
Totally disagree. That's a mercenary way to look at it. Maybe they have a large group of friends and they're just trying to figure out how they can get as many of them there as possible given the sudden restrictions on their venue. Could they have handled the actual invitation wording better? Absolutely. But cut them some slack, they're just trying to make their wedding work in a coronavirus world.
Yes, thank you.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
But... but... I like gifts!
How about this: Don't tell any of the invitees which group to which you've assigned them. Set RSVP deadlines, both mail-in and online. Mail out Group A invitations first, and right before the RSVP window closes, mail out Group B invitations, suited to the number of seats still available.
Maybe they planed to do it that way but then had to radically reduce the number of guests on a very short notice and thought this way would be quicker and simpler *shrug* In the end it looks a bit tacky but oh well...
I agree with you Night Owl
Then they thought wrong. People will understand if you tell them the plans had been made but then had to be changed. Along with an apology. This is nonsense.
Chris Largent +
I would have just invited group A. But I really agree with the commenters wondering why people get so offended they're not on the top list. I mean, of course my grandma comes before some random university friend in my list.
My wild guess: EVERYONE received the note that they are in "Group A."
I kinda love the idea that everyone is group A. It would be a great way to assure everyone that they were special to the people getting married, and then people might feel better about declining because they know their seats will be taken.
This comment has been deleted.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Let me try to explain this. It's insulting. Do you get that? No one wants to feel like they are less important than others. "Ranking" them is exactly that. You need to rethink your own values if you don't understand that.
Louloubelle: did this happen to you? You seem to be taking this very personally. Is it tactful, and elegant? No. Is it worth that much anger? Also no.
Why so rude and condescending? You need to rethink your own values if you don't understand that...
Maybe this happened to Loulou BECAUSE she's so condescending...
Invite your nearest and dearest and leave it at that, B & C lists aren't about bringing people you love to your wedding, they're about filling seats so the photos look good and hoping for gifts.
You speak the truth!
Comedian Patton Oswalt: "Wedding invitations are Gift Subpoenas."
Exactly. A gift grab! If you don't want to invite that many people, just don't invite the B and C groups at all. You can however send them wedding announcements after the fact. It's not considered discourteous and you may wind up getting a few extra gifts that way, without looking like a greedy guts.
Exactly! All of this is a result of a wedding being turned into an "event". It reminds me of a thread on Facebook that was discussing the cost of weddings these days. One group was justifying the high prices because of the cost of wedding planners and venues. The other group's attitude was Oh, please. Plenty of them got married in the church they grew up in, or in someone's backyard. And the wedding planner was Mom or Sis. I have no patience with how weddings went from being a celebration of (hopefully) abiding love to whatever you call these extravaganzas.
Totally disagree. That's a mercenary way to look at it. Maybe they have a large group of friends and they're just trying to figure out how they can get as many of them there as possible given the sudden restrictions on their venue. Could they have handled the actual invitation wording better? Absolutely. But cut them some slack, they're just trying to make their wedding work in a coronavirus world.
Yes, thank you.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
But... but... I like gifts!
How about this: Don't tell any of the invitees which group to which you've assigned them. Set RSVP deadlines, both mail-in and online. Mail out Group A invitations first, and right before the RSVP window closes, mail out Group B invitations, suited to the number of seats still available.
Maybe they planed to do it that way but then had to radically reduce the number of guests on a very short notice and thought this way would be quicker and simpler *shrug* In the end it looks a bit tacky but oh well...
I agree with you Night Owl
Then they thought wrong. People will understand if you tell them the plans had been made but then had to be changed. Along with an apology. This is nonsense.
Chris Largent +
I would have just invited group A. But I really agree with the commenters wondering why people get so offended they're not on the top list. I mean, of course my grandma comes before some random university friend in my list.
My wild guess: EVERYONE received the note that they are in "Group A."
I kinda love the idea that everyone is group A. It would be a great way to assure everyone that they were special to the people getting married, and then people might feel better about declining because they know their seats will be taken.
This comment has been deleted.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Let me try to explain this. It's insulting. Do you get that? No one wants to feel like they are less important than others. "Ranking" them is exactly that. You need to rethink your own values if you don't understand that.
Louloubelle: did this happen to you? You seem to be taking this very personally. Is it tactful, and elegant? No. Is it worth that much anger? Also no.
Why so rude and condescending? You need to rethink your own values if you don't understand that...
Maybe this happened to Loulou BECAUSE she's so condescending...