People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

Flowers
Community Member
1 month ago

As a former meteorologist I wholeheartedly agree!

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#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

Helen Haley
Community Member
1 month ago

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

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As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#3

Griefcase

Griefcase

malonza_muli Report

Virgil Blue
Community Member
1 month ago

I wil start using this

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#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

meme_mayezster Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
1 month ago

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

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#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

Abhinc
Community Member
1 month ago

great answer !! i hope he did

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r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#6

He’s My Biological Dog

He’s My Biological Dog

Gooooats Report

denzoren
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm gonna use this with my cat. Lol

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#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

doenerzwerg Report

IFXO
Community Member
1 month ago

Brad! I is disappointed in you...

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#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

I want cake
Community Member
1 month ago

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

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People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

Adm1sty Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

Sex offenders should never be released.

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#10

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

Is America The Rest Of The World's Florida?

ShinigamiDady Report

Satirical Duchess
Community Member
1 month ago

yes

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#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

cloddishThyme983 Report

K Witmer
Community Member
1 month ago

Lesbians to the rescue. I'd watch that show

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#12

We Drove Out The Lubrication

We Drove Out The Lubrication

theredditanator Report

Apachebathmat
Community Member
1 month ago

For some, it’s the same thing

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#13

How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

How Else Would You Name Dinosaurs?

genius23sarcasm Report

KJ
Community Member
1 month ago

Bitey McBiteface.

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#14

Happens To The Best Of Us

Happens To The Best Of Us

alicewetterlund Report

Truth Monster
Community Member
1 month ago

they get cold feet

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#15

Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

Illegal Underground Grandma Karaoke Bars

orchid_breeder Report

Johnny Rodriguez
Community Member
1 month ago

Sing Easy..

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#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

Blackpanther786110 Report

qwerty
Community Member
1 month ago

Why...why can I relate?

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#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

Whoa

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#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

highway_40 Report

A B C
Community Member
1 month ago

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

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#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
1 month ago

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

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#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

Harry Potter
Community Member
1 month ago

I have a new life motto

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#21

“Festering...”

“Festering...”

Octo-bird Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

yep that's republicans

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#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

witchling
Community Member
1 month ago

I actually choked on my own spit laughing at this one.

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#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

Orillion
Community Member
1 month ago

Oh. I'll have to remember that one.

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#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

Auntriarch
Community Member
1 month ago

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

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#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

A B C
Community Member
1 month ago

It's kinda the same with car rides, except for the windows.

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#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

River Webb
Community Member
1 month ago

ugh, Dave the snitch

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#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

Abhinc
Community Member
1 month ago

crotch fruit !!! love it

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#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

I I
Community Member
1 month ago

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

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#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

lindsaybauer36 Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

Yes, yes they are.

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#30

Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

Stay Fresh Cheese Bags!

EnlightenmentAddict Report

Mark Stewart
Community Member
1 month ago

It's the new "smell ya later".

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#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

praaany Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

See also: Normal Feminism or Circe wearing Groucho Glasses?

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#32

Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

Expensive Potato That Barks At The Wind

kevinowdziej Report

River Webb
Community Member
1 month ago

but its a cute potato

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#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

Harry Potter
Community Member
1 month ago

F in the chat for cotton eyed joe

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#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

Cath Homer
Community Member
1 month ago

They suck you in, those furry wee bastards. Masters of manipulation.

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#35

The Eyebrow Spectrum

The Eyebrow Spectrum

reddit.com Report

River Webb
Community Member
1 month ago

how are your eyebrows?

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See Also on Bored Panda
#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

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#37

Julius In The Coolius

Julius In The Coolius

VA2M Report

Dhukath
Community Member
1 month ago

Nero under zero!

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#38

You Are One Of My Sims

You Are One Of My Sims

FireHauzard Report

Johnny Rodriguez
Community Member
1 month ago

DON'T USE THE POOL!!

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#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

elStiJneriNO
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

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#40

Whatever Works

Whatever Works

UltraThicc42 Report

River Webb
Community Member
1 month ago

isn't that the way to eat steak?

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#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

reddit.com Report

Bill
Community Member
1 month ago

This Generation's Robber Barrons

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#42

Anon Knows The English Language

Anon Knows The English Language

HurrHurrHurrCheese Report

troufaki13
Community Member
1 month ago

There's definitely a chance..

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#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

drnkchineseboi Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

Seriously, what where they thinking before?

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#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

CrimsonComet777 Report

River Webb
Community Member
1 month ago

on the other hand, Chewbacca is thicc

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#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

RyckandMorti Report

Bobert Robertson
Community Member
1 month ago

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

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See Also on Bored Panda
#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

markedly Report

Friday
Community Member
1 month ago

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

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#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

genius23sarcasm Report

Alex the awful German
Community Member
1 month ago

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

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#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

UnculturedYam Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
1 month ago

I'm the generic farm in the background where the tornado starts.

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#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

s3csh3n8 Report

Peppermallow
Community Member
1 month ago

No, a cake

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Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.