BF Who Doesn’t Contribute Financially Throws A Fit After Man Refuses To Add His Name To Mortgage

Property matters are a slightly touchy subject and can end up causing fights even between the closest of people. The most common types of disagreements usually happen over who is or who should be the rightful owner of the place and who is owed a piece of the property.

This is what a man faced when he decided to buy a house and realized that his boyfriend wanted the place to be in his name as well. The guy couldn’t believe his partner’s entitlement and felt extremely unsure of what to do.

More info: Reddit

When anyone decides to buy a house, it means they’ve put a lot of time, effort, and money into the decision, so any sudden plan changes might be problematic

Man in a business shirt holding a small model house, representing mortgage concerns.

Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The poster shared that he had been saving up to buy a house for many years and that he had finally reached a point where he could start looking at properties

Text discussing a situation where a boyfriend is upset about not being on the mortgage.

Text discussing boyfriend upset over not being added to the mortgage.

Two men shaking hands in front of a house with a "Sold" sign, discussing a mortgage agreement.

Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)

When the guy’s 23-year-old boyfriend learned that he was house hunting, he expected his name to be added to the home’s deed, especially if they planned on living together

Text discussing boyfriend upset over not being included on mortgage due to lack of contribution.

Text expressing feelings about a boyfriend upset over mortgage expectations.

Text reads question about keeping mortgage in one's name, related to boyfriend upset over mortgage issue.

Image credits: Appropriate-Way416

The boyfriend hadn’t contributed to a deposit or the funds needed for the home but still demanded his name be added, which made the poster feel annoyed and helpless

The 23-year-old boyfriend expected his partner to cave in to his demands and ensure the new property would be in both of their names. On the other hand, the poster wanted to protect his best interests and buy the house in only his name, especially because he had only been with his boyfriend for two years.

To understand what to do in such complex situations, Bored Panda reached out to G. Brian Davis, co-founder of SparkRental’s passive real estate investment club. He explained that “as a general rule, it’s a bad idea for unmarried couples to buy a house together.” 

“If a couple isn’t serious enough to get married, commit to spending their lives together, and legally join all their assets, they aren’t serious enough to co-own the largest asset either of them has ever had. It’s worth differentiating that being on the deed gives you ownership of the property. Being on the mortgage puts you on the hook for the debt,” Brian explained.

The OP must have been shocked by his partner’s demands especially because he hadn’t contributed to the savings for the house or even a deposit. It seems like he just wanted to own a property and felt entitled to it because his boyfriend was going to buy it.

Brian Davis also explained that “if an unmarried couple breaks up and they own a house together, with a mortgage, they are each individually liable for the loan, property taxes, insurance costs, and other expenses.” 

“If one of them moves out of the house and wants to stop paying those expenses, they remain legally obligated. If the mortgage goes into default, the lender will foreclose and come after both owners for a deficiency judgment,” he shared. The young boyfriend obviously didn’t consider the extent of responsibility he’d have to take on if his name was on a home’s mortgage or deed.

Two boyfriends holding hands and talking, each with a cup, walking outside; concept relates to mortgage discussion.

Image credits: Mizuno K / Pexels (not the actual photo)

It’s obvious that the OP cared about his partner a lot and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. That’s why he felt so torn. He didn’t want to give up on his lifelong dream of owning a home and he also didn’t want the decision to affect his 2-year relationship.

We asked Brian what exactly could go wrong if an unmarried couple breaks up and both of their names are on the home’s deed. He said: “It gets messy fast when co-owners break up. They either have to sell the house (often at a loss), or one has to buy the other out, which often neither partner can afford.”

“In fact, I remember plenty of cases of couples during the Great Recession and housing crisis who broke up and ended up having to continue living together. Neither of them could afford the home by themselves, and the house was upside down on the mortgage (they owed more than it was worth).” 

“There were countless horror stories of divorced couples sleeping in separate bedrooms and trying to date new people and explaining why they could never bring their new date back to their house. And those were married couples. Imagine how much more likely it is to break up when you haven’t committed to spending your life with the other person yet,” he stated.

That’s why the OP’s initial plan of having the house in his name seemed to be the most sensible option. Many netizens also advised him to get a cohabitation agreement made that could protect his property interests in case his boyfriend moved into the new place with him. 

What do you think would be the best way to handle a situation like this?

Folks were vehemently against the author adding his boyfriend’s name to the deed of the new home, and some even told him to break up with the guy

Text about an upset boyfriend wanting his name on a mortgage and potential issues with home ownership.

Comment discussing boyfriend upset about mortgage, calling him a gold digger.

Reddit comment about boyfriend upset over mortgage issues, suggesting finding a new partner.

Comment discussing a boyfriend upset about mortgage, using a metaphor about buying a cow and getting a farm for free.

"Comment discussing boyfriend upset over mortgage decision in a relationship.

Man looking upset about mortgage payments while sitting on a sofa in a well-decorated living room.

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Comment about boyfriend's expectations related to mortgage responsibility.

Reddit comment about a boyfriend upset over mortgage responsibilities.

Comment suggesting a reasonable rental agreement, related to a boyfriend upset about a mortgage.

Text addressing issues with boyfriend upset over mortgage decisions and cohabitation agreement.

Text from a forum discussing relationship balance and boundaries with reference to a boyfriend upset over a mortgage.

Text comment discussing boyfriend upset over mortgage contributions.

Text on image discussing boyfriend upset over mortgage, emphasizing work, savings, and relationship respect.

"Comment explaining boyfriend’s mortgage responsibility without ownership on an online forum.

Text comment advising against including a boyfriend's name on a mortgage, warning he is selfish.

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