Person Ends Things With BF Who Demands An Open Relationship, He’s Furious

In some relationships, there might come a time when partners start considering opening it to other people. While such an arrangement is definitely not for everyone, it can work for some couples as long as everyone involved is happy and respects each other’s boundaries. 

Unfortunately, these partners couldn’t get on the same page when one of them brought up the possibility of an open relationship. So the one who refused to do it decided to end it for good, which left their significant other in disbelief.

Scroll down to find the full story and conversation with board-certified sexologist Lilith Foxx and Ally Iseman, founder and open relationship expert at Passport 2 Pleasure, who kindly agreed to tell us more about open relationships.

An open relationship can only work if both partners are comfortable with it

Two men on a couch having a discussion about opening a relationship.

Image credits: Dmitriy Frantsev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Unfortunately, for this couple, it wasn’t the case, so they had to break up

Text about relationship issues and insistence on an open relationship.

Text about revisiting a relationship discussion after a year, expressing doubts about an open relationship.

Text discussing a sudden desire for an open relationship, surprising the partner.

Text about relationship struggles and emotional issues, mentioning a partner's selfish tendencies and unfulfilled expectations.

Man contemplating on a sofa, wearing a striped shirt, reflecting on relationship challenges.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text exchange about relationship opening request, leading to breakup decision.

Text of a conversation about opening a relationship, leading to a breakup.

Two men sitting back-to-back, reflecting on ending a relationship.

Image credits:  Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text discussing relationship issues, focusing on opening the relationship and resulting frustrations.

Text expressing doubt about starting a relationship and feeling uncertain after ending it.

Image credits: Dangerous-Coyote-851

Experts emphasize that wanting to open a relationship doesn’t indicate a desire to cheat

“An open relationship is when both partners agree to explore romantic or sexual experiences with others outside their primary relationship, but it’s done with mutual understanding and consent. In contrast, a closed relationship typically means both partners commit to being sexually and romantically exclusive to one another,” explained board-certified sexologist Lilith Foxx to Bored Panda.

“These days the term “open relationship” is most commonly used to describe a couple or duo–AKA a dyad, a relationship involving only two people–who agree to engage sexually and sleep with other people in addition to their partner, but it usually precludes emotional entanglements,” added Ally Iseman, founder and open relationship expert at Passport 2 Pleasure.

However, experts emphasize that wanting to open a relationship doesn’t indicate a desire to cheat. “Cheating usually happens when trust is broken or boundaries are crossed without the other person knowing. In an open relationship, everything is on the table from the start, and communication is key. Some people choose this path because they want variety or feel it better suits their needs for intimacy and connection. As long as both people are on the same page and there’s respect for each other’s feelings, there’s no inherent desire to cheat,” said Foxx.

“If your partner is coming to you about wanting to potentially explore any version of an open relationship dynamic, it means they appreciate and value what you’ve built together enough to talk to you rather than acting out of integrity. And it means they feel safe having potentially uncomfortable conversations with you, so pat yourselves on the back for creating a safe relationship that is capable of growth,” additionally notes Iseman.

Opening a relationship is a big decision, which requires a lot of time, energy and attention

Couple in discussion, one wearing a jean jacket, focusing on relationship dynamics.

Image credits:  Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Opening a relationship is a big decision, which requires a lot of time, energy and attention, so it’s important to thoroughly think if it’s the right decision for a person and the couple. Foxx suggests beginning with an honest conversation with yourself and your partner by asking questions like these: Can I handle my partner being with other people without feeling jealous or insecure? And if I have those feelings, be honest about them? Do I want to explore sexual or emotional connections outside of my primary relationship? Am I comfortable having ongoing, honest conversations about boundaries and feelings?

“For some people, an open relationship is a great fit, while for others, it’s not,” she said. “If you’re unsure, it’s okay to take time to think it through and do the research. The key is to prioritize your emotional well-being and have a conversation with your partner about what you’re both looking for. It’s about being true to yourself and ensuring that any decision supports your values and desires.”

Giving an open relationship a go without being certain is a delicate situation that can have many outcomes if not approached mindfully. “If you’re not interested in an open relationship but feel pressured to give it a try for the sake of your partner, that could lead to resentment or frustration in the long run. It’s crucial to communicate openly about your feelings, even if that’s difficult,” Foxx told us.

“That said, relationships are about compromise, but not at the expense of your own emotional needs. If you’re considering something that doesn’t feel right for you, make sure you’ve set up clear boundaries and are willing to revisit the conversation if things don’t feel comfortable. If the idea of an open relationship really doesn’t sit well with you, it’s better to be honest with your partner about why you’re not open to it, rather than agreeing to something you’re not fully on board with.”

In case one partner is firmly decided on not wanting to open a relationship while the other is, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to go separate ways. “If both partners are willing to have a respectful dialogue, it could be an opportunity to better understand each other’s needs. If one person is adamantly against it and feels uncomfortable, it’s important to listen to those feelings and consider whether there’s a way to navigate this difference. In some cases, this could lead to a reevaluation of the relationship’s direction, but in others, it could be a matter of compromising on relationship structure or finding a middle ground that respects both partners’ needs,” Foxx concluded.

The original poster provided more information in the comments

Reddit discussion on relationship advice, focusing on opening up a relationship and recognizing red flags after four months.

Chat about open relationships and understanding different perspectives.

Text about a partner insisting on opening a relationship and concerns about respect and communication.

Reddit conversation about relationship expectations and opening up after one year.

Text about predetermined relationship ending due to one partner's plan to study abroad.

Reddit comment advising someone to move on after a breakup due to communication issues in an open relationship.

Reddit comment discusses opening a relationship; partner's dissatisfaction and miscommunication highlighted.

Reddit conversation about opening a relationship at four months, partner's response leads to breakup.

While commenters thought they were right to break up

Comment on relationship dynamics, discussing partner dissatisfaction and the idea of opening a relationship.

Comment advising partner to end open relationship due to differing desires.

Text comment advising against open relationships if partners are incompatible.

Comment discussing open relationship issues and setting boundaries.

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Text message advising about red flags in a relationship where boundaries are ignored.

Comment criticizing open relationship idea four months in, advising partner to leave.

Comment discussing an open relationship and compatibility issues.

Comment advises on ending a relationship after four months; moving on is encouraged.

Comment on relationship mismatch due to open relationship request, leading to breakup.

Text describing relationship issues and partner's dismissive behavior.

Text about broken promises in relationships and the importance of mutual commitment.

Text discussing the short-term nature of a relationship and issues with opening it non-consensually.

Text conversation about an open relationship, manipulation, and cheating dynamics in a partnership.

Comment questioning relationship effort after four months, related to an open relationship proposal.

Comment on relationship dynamics: "If a partner even hinted at it I'd be out," expressing strong feelings on open relationships.

User comment discussing relationship and decision to leave.

Comment about opening relationship, user suggests partner was a backup.

Comment about opening relationship: "4 months? this could've been an e-mail" displayed on a screen.

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Text describing a partner discussing the idea of an open relationship after a promise of a committed one-year relationship.

Open relationship request leads to breakup advice in online comment.

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