20-Year-Old Breaks His Silence On The Blended Family That Destroyed His Happiness

Losing a parent isn’t easy, no matter how old you are. But for a young child, adapting to life without mom can be particularly brutal. Having a supportive and loving surviving parent makes a big difference. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for one boy whose mother passed away when he was 10.

Now 20, he’s told how his life was turned upside down when his father remarried two years after becoming a widower. The boy wasn’t prepared for the violence, aggression and loneliness that followed. He says his one stepbrother has autism and would explode into fits of rage. Instead of protecting him, the dad left him to defend himself, and expected him to be a “human shield” for his younger siblings.

His life was turned upside down when his dad remarried a woman with an autistic and ‘aggressive’ son

Image credits: Kindel Media/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Instead of protecting him, his father expected him to be a human shield for his younger stepsibling

Image credits: www.kaboompics.com/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Zaidieen

“Human shield”: He later reiterated that his dad had unfairly forced a protector role onto him

Aggression isn’t uncommon in children with autism. Here’s how to respond appropriately…

Up to 20% of individuals with autism exhibit violent behaviors. This may involve severe tantrums, anger, hostility, sudden-onset violent outbursts, and rage ‘episodes.’ Some even hurt themselves.

“In many cases, aggression involves destruction of property and direct violence towards other people including carers, causing them bodily harm,” say the experts from UK-based charity Thinking Autism.

It’s important to stay calm during a child’s aggressive outbursts. This not only helps to reassure the child that they’re safe and you’re there to support them, but it’s also easier for you to respond and make the right decisions in the moment if you’re not panicking or flying off the handle.

You should also use short, concise sentences. “During an aggressive outburst, your child will be feeling very stressed. It’s hard for your child to process what someone else is saying when they’re feeling stressed,” explains the Raising Children Network site, adding that visual cues can sometimes help in these situations. You could show the child a picture of a quiet and safe place they can go to calm down.

“If your child is hurting themselves because their environment is overwhelming, think about what you can change so your child feels more comfortable,” suggests the site. “For example, you might be able to reduce noise by moving your child to a different room or giving them noise-cancelling headphones. Or perhaps you can reduce your child’s physical discomfort by helping them change into their favourite clothes or get some fresh air.”

It also notes that you should remove all harmful items during an outburst and provide alternatives. This means that if your child is hitting their head with a book, you could consider swapping the book for a pillow. If they’re biting themselves, you could give them a snack or something else to chew on.

“If you find you have to use physical restraint when your child has an aggressive outburst, speak with your child’s paediatrician or other professional about other options,” advises the site. “Physical restraint can be dangerous to both you and your child. It can also increase your child’s anxiety and make the situation worse.”

Redirecting their attention to a fun activity or pleasant sensory experience might also help.

Many agreed that the dad and stepmom are the cruel ones in this situation

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