Mean BIL Keeps Picking On Woman’s Kids, Ends Up Banned From The Whole Vacay
Those who say we have to tolerate every little thing our family members do, no matter what, clearly have never interacted with an overly annoying relative. Or, they have a way higher level of patience for people like that. Still, it doesn’t matter if what they’re saying is true—sometimes you have to set boundaries with people, even if they’re family.
That’s something that today’s OP did. She saw her brother-in-law teasing her autistic daughter for her special interest and decided to interfere. Her way of doing so was banning him from the family vacation, which, let’s just say, caused quite a bit of family drama.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, you have to set clear boundaries with toxic people, even if they’re your family members
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman has an autistic daughter whose special interest is Taylor Swift
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One day, while the girl’s uncle was visiting them, he decided that it was a good time to annoy the girl about her interest
Image credits: stockking / Freepik (not the actual photo)
He started calling the singer and her fandom wrong and childish names, so the girl felt the need to keep correcting him
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her brother quickly caught on that he was teasing and called the uncle out
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Then, the girl’s mom joined in and told her brother-in-law that if he didn’t quit it, he wouldn’t be going on family vacation—the one he’d been waiting for
The OP’s 14-year-old autistic daughter, Lisa, is interested in Taylor Swift. An autistic individual having a special interest isn’t uncommon. In fact, it’s among the most common symptoms of autism.
As the name suggests, these are the things autistic people are highly interested in—something that is usually more intense than typical interests and takes over a big chunk of their free time. They like to learn as much as possible about the topic, collect related items, and incorporate them into their everyday lives.
Since the girl’s special interest isn’t really hurting her or anyone else, both the OP and other family members indulge in it. Well, not all family members—there’s the woman’s brother-in-law, who, instead of being supportive, chooses to be annoying.
He’s one of those people who likes to rile up others—a master of covert bullying who likes to justify his actions by saying, “It’s just a joke.” You know those people, right?
He likes to tease Lisa by calling Taylor Swift, her fandom, and other things related to her by the wrong names—basically straight-up childish bullying style.
He kept doing this annoying thing until Lisa’s brother called him out. This stumped the man, and he started going off about how they could all go “cry about it,” then started calling the boy by a feminine name, which is another level of immaturity. Then, the boy, not spooked by his uncle’s behavior, called him out again.
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That’s where their mom stepped in to do the same as her son. This caused the man to flip out, spitting that they couldn’t take a joke and that the kids were growing up soft. You know, a typical defense from such people.
So, the OP decided to put an end to the jerkish behavior and told the man that if he didn’t stop his behavior now, he wouldn’t be attending the family’s summer vacation in Colorado. This threat caused the man to flip out even more and yap about how his family chose Taylor Swift over him.
The original poster didn’t waste the opportunity to clarify that it wasn’t like that. She didn’t pick sides—she simply made him pay for being overly mean to his niece. So, there was nothing left for the man to do but to leave. And then, he complained about the whole shtick to his mom.
That’s another typical bully action—playing the victim. This manipulation tactic is typically used by tormentors to avoid the consequences of their actions, painting themselves in a better light than they actually deserve.
When the man complained to his mom, she called the OP, insisting that she make the situation better, as the BIL really wanted to go on the trip he’d been banned from. This made the woman feel guilty for causing family drama, so she went online to ask if she was the jerk, as some of the family tried to paint her.
In netizens’ eyes, she wasn’t. The brother-in-law was clearly getting joy out of teasing a teenage girl about something she was passionate about, so he didn’t deserve to go on the trip, no matter how much he wanted to. Hopefully, it will serve as a life lesson, and in the future, he won’t be as nasty as he was. Or, he’ll become even nastier—only time will tell.
This caused the man to flip out, so the woman asked online if she was out of line, but netizens told her she wasn’t—he needed to pay for his nasty behavior
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Her teenage grandson shows more maturity and compassion than her adult son--i wonder how MIL feels about it 🤔. But Op did a splendid job and please hold your ground, for you and your children.
Let me this translate not so in a "political correct" way, you did A grown a.ss up adullt is mocking and bullying an early-teen autistic girl, because he is feeling himself down, because of a lay off. He found the most vulnarable person in his community to take it out on her. I have a lot of things to say about this behaviour. But I would be banned forever, if I would do. So, let's agrree, he is a POS! Not worth to keep any contact.
Load More Replies...The only reason he is harassing children is because adults would tell him off and avoid him. OP needs to be very clear to the children that they are free to avoid/ignore Uncle Hector, and encourage them to do so. She also needs to stop letting Hector into the house when her husband isnt around. A simple, "Husband isnt here, Hector; Ill let him know you stopped by" and close the door. I will say in my culture BILs just dont hang out without the husband, unless there was some specific reason. And this BIL sounds more harmful than helpful
Hector needs to be banned from the house until he apologizes to your daughter and son (don't worry, he won't do it). Your husband can go visit him. And if he doesn't, he should not be on that vacation. He needs a non-physical s p a n k I n g.
You mean a very physical one don’t you if anyone spoke to my kids like this mama bear is gonna put you on your back side at the least , in icu if it’s warranted ! n I’m 60 with zero tolerance for bullies ! N my kids are 24-21 this yr !! But I still would !
Load More Replies...Her teenage grandson shows more maturity and compassion than her adult son--i wonder how MIL feels about it 🤔. But Op did a splendid job and please hold your ground, for you and your children.
Let me this translate not so in a "political correct" way, you did A grown a.ss up adullt is mocking and bullying an early-teen autistic girl, because he is feeling himself down, because of a lay off. He found the most vulnarable person in his community to take it out on her. I have a lot of things to say about this behaviour. But I would be banned forever, if I would do. So, let's agrree, he is a POS! Not worth to keep any contact.
Load More Replies...The only reason he is harassing children is because adults would tell him off and avoid him. OP needs to be very clear to the children that they are free to avoid/ignore Uncle Hector, and encourage them to do so. She also needs to stop letting Hector into the house when her husband isnt around. A simple, "Husband isnt here, Hector; Ill let him know you stopped by" and close the door. I will say in my culture BILs just dont hang out without the husband, unless there was some specific reason. And this BIL sounds more harmful than helpful
Hector needs to be banned from the house until he apologizes to your daughter and son (don't worry, he won't do it). Your husband can go visit him. And if he doesn't, he should not be on that vacation. He needs a non-physical s p a n k I n g.
You mean a very physical one don’t you if anyone spoke to my kids like this mama bear is gonna put you on your back side at the least , in icu if it’s warranted ! n I’m 60 with zero tolerance for bullies ! N my kids are 24-21 this yr !! But I still would !
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