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Millennials Reveal The Mistakes They Regret Most Before Turning 40
Life can be confusing, even hard at times, and not many of us can proudly say that we've managed to figure it out. We're born into this world not knowing anything, and it takes us some time to master the most basic tasks. We're constantly learning and adapting – which naturally leads to a bunch of little slip-ups.
The wonderful thing about mistakes is that everybody makes them; your mother, your next-door neighbor and even the Queen of England. What's important is that we learn a lesson and acknowledge it every time something decides to go wrong.
"Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?" An online user decided to take it to one of Reddit's famous communities to ask 1981 – 1996 babies about the life regrets they have. The post received over 2.6K upvotes and 2.2K worth of comments discussing the harsh reality of our existence.
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Not Finding Self-Acceptance Earlier
I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the f*** did it take 40 years for self-acceptance?
Not Saving Up
If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got.
Settling Down Way Too Early
Getting married at 20 and having kids shortly after. A LOT of people warned me that I was starting too young, but I thought I was the exception. I spent my whole life being told by everyone that I was "mature" for my age. So certainly I wouldn't be a statistic! After years of marriage collapsed into horrible divorce, I realized I wasn't the exception. It's not that my love and desires weren't real, they absolutely were! It's not that I couldn't hack the practical day-to-day tasks of family life, I managed that quite well. The problem is that I was not prepared for how much my partner and I would change as humans in our early 20's. 20 year old me had way more in common with the 15 year old me than the 35 year old me. If you are under 24(ish) and thinking about marriage, do yourself a favor and wait another year or two. If this is truly the perfect match for the two of you, then you have nothing to lose - that person will still be there. But if you are wrong, and your underdeveloped brain hasn't caught on quite yet, then you will be grateful you waited just a little bit longer.
Staying Too Long At A Job Because It Was Safe
Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost.
Not Living Life To The Fullest
40 already. Born in 81 so I think I just make the millennial cut. Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice.
Not Spending Enough Time With Their Dad
I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance
Spending Too Much Money On Avocados
All the [darn] avocados I bought, I could have gotten a house.
Staying Too Long In An Unhappy Marriage
Staying too long in an unhappy marriage. I lost the last half of my 20s and most of my 30s because of it.
Not Listening To Their Body
Try not to get cancer. If you feel unwell go to the dr. I felt numbness in my fingers and toes. . Let that go for a few months. It turned to arm Pain. Went to the hospital and it turns out I have stage 4 renal carcinoma. Don’t let any symptoms go unchecked. You’re older, and if your body is telling you something is wrong f*****g listen to it.
Not Buying A House
Should have bought a home. We qualified 20 years ago for enough to buy a small 2 bedroom but I didn't think we could afford it. That 2 bedroom would be worth nearly 3Xs and paid off by now. We pay nearly double in rent what our mortgage would have been. Gotta love the SF bay area cost of living.
Not Asking For More Pay
Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money.
Not Investing In Friendships And Relationships
I moved a lot as a kid and am what is called a third culture kid. I feel at home nowhere. Because of this I also learnt to see friendships and relationships as transactional and didn't maintain them or invest in them. Because my early life experience is different to those with stable childhoods, I am also really closed. I have learnt to assume I have relatively little in common with others, and no longer bother to even try. I have effectively become a hermit, am largely friendless, and ended up sacrificing any chance of happiness to take care of an elderly relative. It is probably too late for me.
Caring About What Others Think
Listening to other people tell me what they thought I’d be good at instead of doing what I wanted to do/was interested in. Not really approaching 40, but I turn 31 this year, and for the longest time I had issues taking peoples advice too literal and trying my damndest to please everyone else instead of making myself happy. I wasted 12 years of my life doing this and just floating along before it finally clicked and I went to school for what I do now. I love my job/field, and I beat myself up daily for not doing it sooner and for listening to everyone instead of listening to myself….
Missing Out On A Trip With Their Grandad
When I was 12-13 my grandfather and I talked about driving from Florida to Alaska over the summer after I got my drivers license. By the time I got my license (17yo) I was too involved with being with my friends/girlfriend and working. Biggest regret if my life not doing that trip. I’m 37 now and think about it from time to time.
Ignoring Red Flags In A Relationship
Not recognizing early red flags for an abusive relationship. It can be tempting to give yourself over to someone showering you with affection after a long dry spell but pay attention to some important details - how long have they known most of their friends? Are they asking you for money really early on, and for something that seems like they should be able to take care of? Bonus point if one or more of their friends brings up money they owe them too. Do your friends seem to like them? How quickly do they start trying to change things about you or make negative comments? I realized 3 months in that this wasn't a good relationship but stayed for another year just because it was comfortable and I wanted someone to be there, not because it was the right person. Fortunately, I was smart enough not to co-sign on anything. Once the wrong person is living with you it can be extremely difficult and stressful to get them out of your house without risking your own safety, especially if you have pets. It can be tempting to move in together quickly, but it's sometimes not worth the risk.
Not Prioritising Themselves
Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else.
Putting Things Off
Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself losing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them.
Going Back To Graduate School
I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30s. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess. Although honestly? My only real regret/mistake in my life is going back to grad school in 2010. I felt trapped by [meeting someone] off twice and not being able to find any work. I was debt-free, but I really felt forced into going back to school to try and make something of myself. It was either that, become homeless, or figure out how to move back in with my parents. Now I have over 100k in debt because my 60k grad loan has ballooned due to interest rates and forbearance because once again, I couldn't find a decent job upon graduation. Student loans are a f*****g racket.
Going To University And Majoring In Business
Going to university and majoring in business, numerous poor investments in now defunct companies and businesses and not taking care of my health while younger
Not Holding Onto Their College Friends
When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them.
Selling Drugs While They Were In The Army
Selling drugs while I was in the Army. Got me thrown in prison for a couple years. Restarting life and missing a big chunk of your 20s isn't great. 0/10 do not recommend.
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