The practices and norms around raising kids change over time, with each generation of parents redefining the classic role. These shifts take place due to a number of factors, including new research, technologies, or the desire to "do it differently than our old folks did." But that doesn't mean that all of them are automatically better than the older ways.
So when Reddit user The_WhiteMantis asked everyone on the platform to share the parenting trends that they wholeheartedly disagree with, people immediately started sharing their opinions. From making your children the b**t of your jokes to never telling them "no," below you will find the submissions that received the most attention.
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The trend of oversharing kids' lives on social media. It's like turning your child's childhood into a reality TV show.
We contacted The_WhiteMantis, and the Redditor explained that they came up with the idea for their post thanks to the radio.
"The question popped into my head after I heard a conversation on the radio about the usage of phones by minors," The_WhiteMantis told Bored Panda.
"I did not have time to read all the comments due to the huge size of the discussion, however, I did notice some recurring themes: 1) providing devices to minors, 2) parents living vicariously through their children, and 3) being overprotective of them."
I’ve seen a small yet growing trend of homeschooled kids where the parents are completely neglectful of actual education and basically let the kid do whatever they want. They don’t follow standardised curriculum for the sake of “letting kids be kids.” If your kid can barely read at 10 years old, you’re setting them up to fail as an adult.
I hate when people dress up their baby girls in outfits a woman should be wearing. Like there are little girls outfits that are adorable and meant for a little girl. But no little girl should be wearing a body suit and ripped jeans or a crop top and low rise bellbottoms, it gives me the creeps.
Moms and dads often do not follow a specific parenting style. In the United States, for instance, a nationally representative survey of parents with children younger than 18 conducted by the Pew Research Center revealed that when asked about their parenting habits, including whether they tend to be too strict or too lenient, excessively praise or criticize their children, be overprotective or grant too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not enough, a considerable percentage of respondents ranging from 34% to 53% reported that neither option accurately describes their parenting style.
Additionally, almost the same number of parents are either trying to raise their children in a similar way as they were raised (43%) or differently (44%).
Not teaching children proper manners/behavior Please and thank you go a long a*s way in this life. Also not helping kids with conversation skills. Conversation usually goes back and forth. With no phones involved.
Do gender reveals count? Lighting things on fire, blowing things up and potentially injuring a family member all in an display of obsession over the [private parts] of your fetus is cringy at best and a small scale natural disaster at worst.
Making your child's entire identity revolve around their extracurricular activities. Let them be kids, not robotic machines for your bragging rights.
I guess this is kinda specific, but my son is autistic, so it applies to me. I hate the “Autism Mom” thing. The t-shirts, the unsolicited “advocacy”…it seems like an attention seeking thing to me. My kid has autism, ADHD, and anxiety, and it takes approximately 5 seconds of being around him to notice. I will fight for him always, of course, but I won’t use him as a badge either. I won’t hide his diagnosis from him, but I won’t let him use it as an excuse either. And some of those shirts get borderline threatening too…”If you want to know fear, fight an autism mama bear”…or something like that.
Talking about the main factors that make parenting trends popular (regardless of their effectiveness), the author of the post believes the internet is arguably the main culprit.
"I think most parents get their ideas on how to raise kids from social media. It seems like a significant proportion of the user base on various platforms is over the age of 30, so it makes sense," The_WhiteMantis said.
Pranking your kids or playing jokes on them. Not all kids understand it’s a joke and it really upsets them. I hate seeing videos of parents thinking it’s ok to throw things at their kids or make them do dumb stuff for amusement. Like the cheese challenge thing. Throwing food at babies….awful behavior.
Not exactly a trend but: having like 5+ kids and forcing the older ones to basically raise the little ones. i know that sometimes the parents are not well informed about contraception, but it’s still not the kids’ problem! it’s one thing to have them help once in a while, but anything that stops them from living their own lives to raise YOUR kids is just ridiculous. for example: not being able to take an extracurricular activity because they have to be home watching their siblings.
Confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting. You can be both gentle and authoritative. Authoritative is *not* authoritarian; it is the role of a parent to provide structure and boundaries for their children while also allowing them to feel their emotions and deal with the ups and downs of being a kid. Go ahead and soothe your children when they are upset and give them a safe space to calm down but you do not have to cushion their world for them in order to avert a meltdown.
According to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, most parents of young children (80%) indeed say they use social media to discuss parenting topics.
Looking deeper, more mothers than fathers use social media to look for parenting advice or information (84% vs 69%) or share their experiences (63% vs 42%).
Never telling your kid no. You’re creating a monster that is going to ruin your life some day. Boundaries and consequences are essential to any kid- well human even- being successful in the world we live in.
“Gentle parenting” b***h hold your kid at the doctor if they need a test done. “I don’t think she wants to do this test/use this medicine” B***H SHE NEEDS IT. (I work in a doctors office).
Experts aren't surprised.
"I think this data reflects what we've seen over the past few years," said Titania Jordan, the chief parenting officer of Bark, a parental control app that allows parents to manage their kids’ digital worlds.
"Parents are reaching out more and more for advice on social media for three main reasons: Convenience, new technology, and different ways of parenting."
Parents not having even minimal standards for their children’s behavior, and expecting other people to be alright with it. I really don’t care that he is having “big feelings.” He is lying in the aisle of the supermarket, screaming at the top of his lungs, having a full blown tantrum because you said no. Grow a pair.
However, Jordan has concerns. "It’s not all roses. There is a ton of misinformation out there, and just because another parent is talking about something, it doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable."
And this thread proves it.
I’m gonna go in a little bit of a different direction: parents not watching their own behavior when it comes to screen time, frustration tolerance, discipline, etc. You’ve got to dig deep and figure out how to role model the behaviors you want your kids to do. If you are on your phone 24/7 and throw a fit every time the slightest thing inconveniences you you aren’t gonna have a good time with your kids doing anything different.
I disagree with ALL trends. Parenting is not supposed to be trendy. Figure out what works for you and your family and do that, but don’t expect everyone else to do the same.
Taking your kids to a restaurant and putting screens in their hands. How are kids going to learn how to behave in polite society if you don’t train them how to behave in social situations?
The lack of discipline and manners taught to the kids. I get soft parenting, I'm on board with no hitting and all of the abuse but kids still need to learn boundaries about what they could and couldn't do.
Being overweight and allowing your children to follow the same path of obesity. (Yes I get sometimes it's genetics, but genetics is not why appx 1/3 of Americans are obese and why the rest of the world isnt).
The sad beige mom trend. If you want to make the rest of your home sad and beige, that's up to you. But my God! Please let your child's nursery have some colour for their own development and well-being.
Child vlogging, its a bit weird [to be honest] and I feel like things are gonna go to s**t for the parents when the kids become adults.
Weird orthorexic parents who make their entire personality their kids' hundreds of allergies . Gluten free, dairy free, nut free , meat free . EVERYTHING FREE! I’m sorry, I do not believe them .
Lawnmower parenting. Not only do they hover over their kids, they mow down anyone who does something they don't like. They're the "you can't wear that shirt where my kids might see it" and "you'd better allow my child into this 21+ establishment but not show them anything inappropriate" type.
Those “boy moms” that are grossly obsessed with their baby or toddler boys. Ew, f*** out of here with that emotional i****t s**t.
Not (sensibly) challenging their comfort zone. How are they supposed to grow self-confidence when they're never challenged?
