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58 Secrets Folks Will Have To Take To The Grave As They Can’t Tell Anyone In Their Real Lives
Everybody has kept a secret at least once in their lives, and chances are you might be keeping one right now. Hiding a part of yourself from the world isn’t really wrong, but it’s something that could weigh heavily on your conscience.
Minor secrets aren’t such a big deal to folks, and they might not even worry if everything came out into the open. On the other hand, some people have big skeletons in their closet that could ruin their life if it ever came out, which is why they’d never tell even their loved ones. This list is full of shocking things folks will never open up about in real life, but are willing to share anonymously on the Internet, so hold on to your socks.
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#1
When I was disowned for being gay, my mother burnt all of my baby memorabilia…. Grade 2 class pics, report card, etcl. That really drove home how much I was disliked.
Edit: I am now 75. Together with the man of my dreams for 40 years; world travellers over 45 countries and 350 cities. We took Freedom 55 literally and both retires at 55 and started travelling, by ship mostly. Widowed now unfortunately 3 years ago. Man we had fun. A great life. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
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#2
I don't really enjoy living anymore. I'm just going through the motions at this point.
#3
I leave pennies on the ground, head up, so that hopefully someone finds one and it brightens their day:).
It might seem obvious that everyone keeps secrets, and research has found that nearly 95% of people have kept something hidden about themselves at least once. What’s fascinating is that this behavior seems to start early in development, since children as young as 5 can distinguish between secretive and public information.
Little kids also tend to be more open to folks who share positive information about peers while hiding negative things about them. So it seems we’ve been used to keeping some things off the record from the start, and it’s not something we only learned as adults.
#4
I enjoy video games,movies and tv shows more than my real life.
#5
One of the times I told my parents I was going to spend the weekend in a sleepover at a friend's house I instead had that friend drive me to the airport, where I'd booked a cheap flight to the UK so I could go watch a musical I'd also bought a ticket for. While I waited for the show I ate lunch and also bought an illustrated edition of The Silmarillion. Once the show was over (worth every penny) I went back to the airport and waited there for my flight back. It was a very early morning flight back, but I was young then and figured I could pull off the all-nighter. Took the plane back home, friend picked me up from the airport, spent the rest of the day at her house sleeping... and at night my parents showed up and drove me home none the wiser.
Edit because I keep getting asked the same questions: I was 19. The musical was Les Miserables. I'm European and this was before Brexit so no need for a passport (although I did bring it just in case). I spent under 300 euros of my own savings I got from working part-time in the whole thing. One flight was 22 euros and the other 47. Flights were about three hours.
Edit 2: ok, several people have pointed out you still need a passport? Idk, I've been to the UK twice and don't recall them asking for it but I might have also forgotten that detail if it was a quick seamless checkpoint. I still have that old passport and dug around to doublecheck and confirmed no one stamped it, but I also know they don't always stamp them.
#6
I knew my husband was going to propose the day he did. He was acting "off" as we were about to leave the house, and while he was in the bathroom, I felt his coat, and felt the ring box. He later refused to go without his coat even on a warm day as we were walking around, and I had to hide that I knew why.
I still acted surprised and legit cried (no acting there!) when he did, and was beaming the rest of the day (week, month, year....still today). But I will never tell him I knew beforehand that he was going to do it.
Even though honesty is the best policy, everyone is entitled to keep some things private. Usually, the secrets folks try to hide most are important parts of their lives that they don’t want getting out. Michael Slepian notes that the most common thing people keep hidden is about harming themselves or others.
People might also be very hush-hush about using substances or having bad habits that they don’t want their friends and family to know about. Folks may also want to hide positive or wholesome experiences, like a crush, surprise gifts or parties, or marriage proposals.
#7
When I was about 9, I went over to neighbors house (I would usually go hang out with my adult neighbors because they would let me watch TV and give me snacks in exchange for helping them) with the intention of seeing if I could play with the foster puppies she had. Well, she wasn’t there, but her door was unlocked and I just went in and played with the puppies. When I walked out of the house, she was coming down the driveway (there was a bunch of stuff in front of her door blocking it from view from the driveway). I just pretending like I had been waiting for a minute and we walked in and I got to play with the puppies again.
#8
Leukemia. CLL - slowest growing form of Leukemia and there’s no treatment other than stem cell, and hopefully I wont need that any time soon....not even 40 yet. I don’t look sick - even my own family doesn’t believe me, so why would anyone else? I guess you need to be frail, pale, skinny and bald to have cancer....right?
#9
Im completely depressed and isolate myself from friends. I'm tired, work is tiring and nothing is able to bring me joy. I recently got tickets for a band that I've been wanting to see for 16 years and not even that brought me any joy.. I used to have the energy to try and make new friends everywhere and now I'm just burned out..
Once a person has a skeleton in their closet, ideally they should be able to ignore it and move on with their lives. According to Valentina Bianchi, folks think about their secrets about 18-31 times a week and can’t seem to get them out of their minds.
Research shows that, on average, people have 13 things they hide from others, so keeping all that information under wraps can be exhausting. To keep everything secret, people seem to have to actively conceal the truth 6-17 times a week.
#10
I'm the reason my cousin is mentally handicapped.
We are the same age, and when we were 7 our grandpa bought dirt bikes for us. Well we decided to make our own trail in the woods, took the entire summer. I put this tree branch purposely at roughly head level, just so he could duck under it and it would look awesome.
The branch was heavy, but I was able to sit it conveniently between two trees. He was more brave than me, so he went first.
Being dumb kids, we didn't wear helmets.
I yelled for him to duck, but he didn't and hit his head on the branch, got knocked backwards and hit his head again straight into the ground.
I told everyone it was an accident. Grandpa sold the dirt bikes, I didn't see my cousin a whole lot after that.
That was nearly 25 years ago. I see him every Christmas, and it's always the same. In a wheelchair, being spoon fed by his mom. He can't speak, he likes to draw funny shapes.
He most likely doesn't remember the incident, and I don't know if he remembers me.
But that's what haunts me.
Daisydaisy 10 hours ago
Oh wow, this would be a super heavy secret to carry around all your life
#11
I revealed to a Reddit friend fact I am a closet schizophrenic who has had daily conversations for 40 years with my daughter who passed away as an infant.
I cannot tell you how liberating it was to finally share something that I couldn't even reveal to my therapist. Now that I am Reddit-outed I've shared the news with my husband, best friend, and therapist.
What did I learn? That they suspected my condition all along. And are unconditionally supportive.
#12
I've gradually felt more and more disconnected. I can ignore my friends for days and feel fine. People are so boring.
Daisydaisy 10 hours ago
Solitude is so underrated! Some of us need far less socialising than what society thinks is normal or healthy
Have you ever been in a situation where you want to share your secret with someone else but stop yourself? Emma Young mentions that in such cases it might help to weigh the pros and cons of opening up to someone. We tend to overestimate how harshly the other person might judge us, which is why we may keep things so hush-hush.
In reality, the other person might not care that much or may not even react strongly to the information. That doesn’t mean that there won’t be consequences or repercussions for bigger skeletons in one’s closet, but it’s possible that the revelation might not warrant as harsh punishment as we expect.
#13
I buy collectible Barbies and then take them out of their box and play with them.
#14
I'm not fine. I'm tired all the time, and I don't have the energy to be upset or worried about it anymore when yet another potential medical issue pops up. I don't have the bandwidth for it. I need things to be just... "normal" for a little while, but chances that I'll ever get that are extremely low.
#15
Not a secret to the grave perhaps and nothing nearly as juicy or serious as the other ones here but I took home a dessert spoon from a restaurant once as it looked so pretty
The replies are cracking me up, thanks all.
Spannidandoolar 8 hours ago
My sister stole a tiny metal milk jug (shaped like a tiny milk churn) from a bar for me as I couldn't get over how adorable it was. I've had it for years now.
It seems odd that if secrets are always playing on our minds, we’re still desperately trying to keep them hush-hush. According to Cianna Garrison, folks might do this to protect their ego or how they see themselves. If they truly believe that they are moral, kind, and generous, maybe the hidden information coming to light could ruin that image.
It could also be because folks don’t want to be judged by others and feel that if they let something very personal slip, their friends and family may see them very differently. This intense worry and fear could keep them from exposing secrets that are even decades old that might have nothing to do with who they are today.
#16
I get extremely jealous of people who are in relationships. I will always act happy for you, but inside, I'm jealous as hell and wishing I could be with someone. I know it's a me problem, and I would never want to take away from others, so I'm not envious, just jealous that I can't seem to find someone.
#17
There is a snake that lives in the wall along the stairs leading to my basement. He has his area, and I have mine, and we respect each other's space.
#18
I know one of my 'very straight' friends has a crush on me. I'm a queer woman, and I've been open about it almost since I figured it out a few years ago. One of my friends is a very headstrong, always-in-control kind of person. She has always given me queer vibes but has repeatedly shared she's very straight (unprompted). As a joke, we made lists of fictional/celeb crushes. We shared some stuff from them with each other, but she never let me see hers entirely until, at some point, she scrolled a bit too far, and there was my full name in there. She panicked and quickly scrolled back up. I pretended I didn't notice and never brought it up. I am not attracted to her, and we are both currently in separate relationships, but I hope she's doing well. I wish she'd talk to me or someone about this, but maybe she's still figuring it out herself.
Keeping secrets doesn’t just affect our mental health; it can also have a physical impact as well, and a study found that folks who were keeping their fatal disease hidden experienced faster progression of their symptoms and lost their liver sooner. This shows that hiding a part of yourself isn’t just troublesome; it can eat you up from the inside.
It might also tie into the idea that people who keep secrets often feel alone, with nobody to confide in. This feeling of being unsupported could take a toll on a person’s mental health, and even lead to depression and anxiety in the long run.
#19
I'm a woman. I once entered the men's washroom and did my business in one of the stalls without realizing it. As I came out of the stall, three other men were confused AF. It was awkward. Funny now, 100%, but super embarrassing for me back then.
#20
My friend's wife doesn't love him anymore but she doesn't want to divorce him because of their baby girl. I think they'll separate in less than a year
Edit:
For people asking how I know this information, the husband is my friend ( not close but still consider him a good friend ) we and the wife have friends in common. They have arranged free days for each other she gets Tuesdays he gets Thursdays. It's been 3 times now that SHE comes to a friend gathering gets a couple of drinks ( 2 or 3 bears so she's not even close to drunk when doing it) and starts crying of how she isn't happy with her guy because she doesn't love him anymore and wants to get out bu can't due to her daughter. 5 people know about this including myself and to my knowledge the husband doesn't know yet.
I have to add: I DO NOT feel comfortable intervening in other people's business if they want to separate or stay together I think that's something they must decide as a couple. I cannot brainwash or suggest someone into being together or separating their spouse it;s not right to me. All I can do is lay down the facts for the other person and let them take their decision.
#21
The only thing that's stopped me from taking my own life is the reminder that my student loans would just pass to my parents if I did, and I don't want to inflict my bills on them or my little bro.
E: uh, wow, I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction. Just wanted to share. Thank y'all so much.
Most people hide things about themselves or their lives that they don’t want others to know, but sometimes friends or loved ones need a secret-keeper. That’s when a person has to work extra hard to keep quiet about something that another person has told them in confidence.
Research suggests that keeping someone else’s secret increases feelings of intimacy, but it can also create a sense of burden. This is especially true when the information involves a person’s social network, which is why they might feel mental worry about hiding the secret.
#22
I'm gradually losing my ability to feel anything like I used to feel. Paranoid schizophrenia, psychopathy, who knows? Things have just been rough for the past couple of years. I'm not well and can't really afford to have someone, maybe, help me sort things out for $90 every other week.
GalPalAl 3 hours ago
As posted before, it's a systemic problem where people feel mad, betrayed and fighting for money and food. We are all angry and people are really lashing out. It makes being social a chore and eating up any joy with frustration and no consideration for others. We have to stop normalizing this
#23
My anonymous secret that I'll take to the grave is this:
I had a chance to save a very important friendship, but my pride got in the way. We drifted apart over a petty misunderstanding, and I was waiting for the other person to make the first move. I was so convinced I was right that I couldn't bring myself to text "I'm sorry." We never spoke again.
Now I realize that the minor argument wasn't worth losing a person who was so important to me. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life, and I think about it every single day.
#24
I left the light on for 2 weeks while my family and I went out on a trip to Seattle. My dad would be pissed if he knew about it.
UnclePanda 4 hours ago
He's been gone for years but I still occasionally hold the storm door open and shout, "Hey look, Dad, I'm heating the entire neighborhood!"
Keeping secrets has always seemed like a fun and exciting thing to do, but, in reality, it can actually affect a person’s mental well-being. That’s why the phrase “honesty is the best policy” still holds true to this day, and might be a great idea to put into practice.
Now, in the spirit of sharing secrets and being truthful, is there anything you’d love to share with all of us? We’d all ears, and we promise we won’t reveal what you’ve told us to anyone, pinky swear.
#25
Star Wars Episode 3 is the most enjoyable star wars film for me. Its not the best one but definitely the one I've enjoyed the most.
#26
I have gone to insane lengths in order to never wear matching socks a day in my life.
I've quit a high-paying job with a strict dresscode. I've lost a relationship with someone who decided it proved my immaturity. I've worn boots to a funeral.
#27
When I’m ascending or descending stairs, the last step has to be with my left foot. I don’t mention anything because I don’t want people to mess with me, it’s my little secret. Oddly enough, I’m not OC about anything else.
#28
I don't feel a lot of emotions. I normally sit on a spectrum that goes from satisfied to angry. I've been criticized in the past for not being particularly joyful, but I don't often feel joy, excitement, or bliss. I don't think it's a depression thing — I'm plenty 'happy,' motivated, and content — I just don't really feel typical in that way.
#29
As a 16 year old, despite my better judgement, I agreed to be the girlfriend of a 19 year old boy I met in an online game. After a few weeks the messages he was sending me took a creepy turn and my reaction was to uninstall the game. I've never had any other relationship that was even borderline romantic.
#30
My little sister, 43, passed away last August 1st. I want to go before any of the rest of my loved ones dies because I can’t stand this pain.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 hours ago
Ah, my friend, but then you would be forcing this pain onto your loved ones instead :( There is no easy way.
#31
I’m a year and a half into sobriety, but I often think I was a better, more successful wife and mother when I drank.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 hours ago
You're not. I thought I was funnier, more charming, etc. when I was on cocaíne. Of course I wasn't, I was just manic because I was hígh. I probably acted like a rabid wolf. Áddíction distorts our sense of self and our sense of reality. I definitely have more bad thoughts and bad feelings now that I'm clean - because being hígh obliterated those, but that's not sustainable or a good thing.
#32
My mom confided that she had an affair with her mom's second husband. They planned to start a life together, but he passed away first. Jeez mom, you couldn't find ANYBODY else?!?
#33
I'm pretty sure I dont feel emotions like other people. When I was a kid, I use to practice smiling and laughing in the mirror because I could tell it was weirding people out when I didnt react properly. I live a really normal, average life so I think it would surprise most people.
Spannidandoolar 8 hours ago
Maybe go an get assessed by a doctor? This feels like something that could easily be much simpler to live with if you understood where/how you are different?
#34
I stole a bunch of money from a previous boss years ago. She had to have known, yet she never said anything to me. I wouldn't do anything like that now. I was younger, dumb, broke, and a single mom.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 9 hours ago
She fed her child and her boss enjoyed one less bottle of fancy wine. Fair trade if you ask me. Blame the system that allowed this to happen.
#35
I don’t really want to be with my girlfriend romantically, but she’s my best friend, and I don’t want to lose her from my life, so I won’t break it off.
#36
I fantasize about having superpowers and what I would do if I was granted them. It’s mainly evil and selfish things. 10/10 would become a villain.
#37
I might appear happy, may be making slight headway in my dream career, working another job where I'm paid more than I've ever been, but I'm miserable. I hate my life.
#39
I cry myself to sleep at least once a month, over a combination of things - I have no friends, no job, no love life, I miss my niece, and I feel useless.
#40
I never actually graduated culinary school. I was short a math class and they let me walk at graduation anyway.
20 years later and no one in my life has a clue except me.
#41
I tell everyone I'm 5–10 lbs lighter than I really am, and no one notices. I also eat fast food occasionally after work in my car (while on my period) so that I don't have to share... I promptly get rid of the trash before I walk into my house and pretend it never happened.
#42
I think I was in love with my best friend in high school, but didn't realize it until years later. I'd NEVER act on it, though; I just couldn't get enough of her presence. We were really close, and she happens to be undeniably gorgeous. I don't feel that way now because we are both with our true loves, and I couldn't be happier where we are.
#43
I know my coworker cheated on his now-wife the night before their wedding. I have not told her because she is a very violent person and would likely shoot the messenger, so to speak. They are a match made in hell anyway.
#44
I have a crush on my pharmacist. But it's complicated. I sense that the feeling may be mutual from the way he acts, and I was expecting him to ask me for coffee until I realized that either I'm interpreting his behavior the wrong way or he can't ask me out because of pharmacist and client boundaries. It's been 6 months like that, and I guess I will never know! I could change to a different pharmacy for repeat prescriptions. However, if he is not into me, I would risk to look like a creep or obsessive person and I would never recover from the embarrassment!
Luke || Kira (he/she) 8 hours ago
IMO whether it's creepy or not fully depends on how it's done. There's nothing creepy about a casual coffee invitation.
#45
I think that I am beginning to hallucinate every once in a while. Its mostly little things that are there, and then they arent.
#46
Pretty sure I'm obsessed with being in a relationship, and I've started finding any woman that talks to me attractive.
#47
I thought I learned how to tie my shoes when my mom showed me in pre-k and I went around telling everyone I knew how to tie my shoes. The next time I try to tie them though it turned out I forgot how, but I was too embarrassed to ask for help. I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was 18 or 19.
#48
I’m constantly surrounded by friends that I love and who love me, but I always feel alone.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 8 hours ago
Same. I think it's because even though I have a good number of great friends, I'm nobody's #1 person. They mean so much to me, and even though I'm sure they like me, too, I'm more like a footnote than an immutable part of their lives.
#49
My girlfriend cheated on me with her step brother. I walked in on them and I never saw her again. We dated for 1 and a half years too.:(((.
#50
I listen to, but generally don't watch, several hours' worth of ASMR per day. Not even to fall asleep, just to relax.
#52
I think people think im rude because I dont say hello to them in public if I see them. But really when I was a teenager I had so many moments where I said hi to people I knew and they had no idea who I was and this made me feel like im an incredibly forgettable person and im afraid that they wont know who I am.
#53
The night my mum passed away, my brother called earlier and said it was not looking good. I asked if I should jump on a plane and he said he wasn't sure. I delayed, and she passed. She waited as long as she could, as I slept 1000 miles away. It eats me up.
#54
That I never feel good enough. My ex wife cheated on me and that ended our 20-year marriage. Then I dated a woman for about 8 months and it seemed like it was going well until she said she wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I heard from a mutual friend that she started dating someone else a few months later.
I'm a good dad and friend, but the two women I loved would rather be with someone else.
Farah (she/her) 11 hours ago
And thats not your fault, dude. The first woman was terrible for cheating, and the second one may not have felt compatible with you. And please don't measure your self worth using someone else's "interpretation" of you, I'm sure you're amazing!
#56
I dream constantly (weekly) about a prior relationship despite being in my current relationship for 4 years.
#57
I have cried myself to sleep for years every night, longest time that I haven’t has been 3 nights.
#58
In junior high my best friend dated my ex. I got revenge by sleeping with his mom.
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What do you think ?
Anonymouse 6 hours ago
It always amazes me when I read these type threads and realize that while we are all unique individuals, we are all very similar. We see the outside people present and think everyone has it all together, when mostly we are all the same inside.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 hours ago (edited)
I'm pretty open most of the time, but I remember an incident a number of years ago when I joined a Discord community and was really enjoying it and making friends. Someone private-messaged me because they wanted to talk to me more easily (Discord chat channels can sometimes scroll fast if a lot of people are talking.) I didn't realize what the person was doing, but over the next few days they eventually started asking really leading, invasive personal questions. I don't really hide things online, so I answered them honestly. Apparently they reported what I said to them privately, in a private message, to the owners of the Discord channel, and I got banned from the Discord channel. For what I had said OUTSIDE of the Discord server XD People can run their Discords however they want to, of course, but it still really hurt that this person reported things I said privately to them. Turns out furries can be really judgmental - who knew XD I have no idea why the person did it, either.
Anonymouse 6 hours ago
It always amazes me when I read these type threads and realize that while we are all unique individuals, we are all very similar. We see the outside people present and think everyone has it all together, when mostly we are all the same inside.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 9 hours ago (edited)
I'm pretty open most of the time, but I remember an incident a number of years ago when I joined a Discord community and was really enjoying it and making friends. Someone private-messaged me because they wanted to talk to me more easily (Discord chat channels can sometimes scroll fast if a lot of people are talking.) I didn't realize what the person was doing, but over the next few days they eventually started asking really leading, invasive personal questions. I don't really hide things online, so I answered them honestly. Apparently they reported what I said to them privately, in a private message, to the owners of the Discord channel, and I got banned from the Discord channel. For what I had said OUTSIDE of the Discord server XD People can run their Discords however they want to, of course, but it still really hurt that this person reported things I said privately to them. Turns out furries can be really judgmental - who knew XD I have no idea why the person did it, either.
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