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Man’s Family Jealous Of Wife’s Cooking, Cause Fuss When She Hangs With Guys Instead Of Cooking
Man’s Family Jealous Of Wife’s Cooking, Cause Fuss When She Hangs With Guys Instead Of Cooking
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Man’s Family Jealous Of Wife’s Cooking, Cause Fuss When She Hangs With Guys Instead Of Cooking

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In today’s modern world, traditional gender roles are rapidly shifting. Long gone are the days where the man goes out to his job and the woman stays home to do the cleaning, cooking, and childrearing. While it still has a way to go, gender equality is more essential than ever if we’re to collectively break with outdated stereotypes.

One Reddit user ran into resistance after he invited his wife to hang out with the guys because he was sick of her being criticized by the trad wives in his family – his mom even said she belonged in the kitchen. The husband thinks the family women are being mean, but still wonders if he’s the jerk in the drama that’s unfolded.   

More info: Reddit

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    Guy’s traditional family expected his wife to spend family time in the kitchen, but the trad wives were jealous of her cooking skills

    Image credits: our-team (not the actual photo)

    Wife tried hard to get the other women to like her, but even her father-in-law couldn’t get through to them

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    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Guy asked his wife to step out of the kitchen and spend some time with the men in his family

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    Image credits: katemangostar (not the actual photo)

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    The other women in the family weren’t happy about her skipping cooking duty and told her husband she should join them in the kitchen, but he said they were being too mean

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    Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)

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    Mom said he shouldn’t allow his wife to spend time with the men, he responded by saying he’s sick of his wife getting criticized and would prefer not to come over

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    Image credits: Slow-Cheesecake5654

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    Now he’s wondering whether or not he’s being the jerk by putting his foot down to the trad wives’ behavior

    OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his wife have been together for 7 years and married for 6 months. He adds that his wife isn’t close to her family, so when they settled down, they chose to live close to his very traditional family instead.

    OP adds that his great grandmother always believed that during family time, the women should do the cooking while the men should hang out together and stay out of the kitchen. OP says that he and his brothers were taught to cook by his dad, and that he’s never really agreed with his family’s strict traditional views.

    He goes on to say that his wife is an excellent cook and that, although they take turns cooking at home, he loves it when she does the cooking. The problem, OP tells the readers, is that the trad wives in his family are jealous of his wife’s cooking skills and have criticized her and bossed her about in the kitchen.

    As a result, OP invited his wife to leave the cooking duties behind and hang out with the guys. He says she immediately fit right in, but this stirred up trouble with the other wives, who told OP she should be with them in the kitchen instead. OP told them that she’s only hanging out with the guys because they were so mean to her, and that he’d readily skip family get-togethers if it would make them happier. 

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    Although OP’s wife felt bad about the situation, OP’s dad joined him in telling her that the other women were just being too hard on her and that she doesn’t deserve the unfair treatment. The 3 even discussed the option of spending less time with the family, but the wife still hoped that things would improve. 

    OP’s mom then confronted him about the situation, saying he was wrong to allow his wife to spend time with the guys. OP said it would help if the women could try being nicer to his wife, but his mom said he was making too big a deal of it. Frustrated, OP turned to Reddit to ask if he was being a jerk for protecting his wife from the nasty trad wives.

    Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

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    In her article for Rock and Art, Flor Guzzanti writes that gender stereotypes have long determined how people should behave, dress, and even think, all based on their gender. These harmful societal beliefs are ingrained in human culture, influencing everything from personal relationships to career choices.

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    In recent years, though, there has been a noticeable shift in the direction of challenging traditional roles and advocating for gender equality. This positive movement is especially prominent among Gen Z, which is known for its commitment to social justice and progressive values. 

    Media plays a major role in crafting societal perceptions of gender. From films to advertisements, the depiction of gender roles can either challenge stereotypes or reinforce them.  

    According to an article by the European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE), education is key for breaking gender stereotypes. 

    In Lithuania, for example, it’s a fact that men rule fields such as computing (87.5%) and engineering (83.1%), while women hold the vast majority of degrees in social services (81.6%) and health care (74.7%). The trend is similar in other EU countries.

    The situation won’t change until both teachers and parents encourage kids to pick more unusual fields, like science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM) for girls, and education and welfare for boys. 

    “The classroom should be an environment that challenges gender stereotypes and breaks them down,” says Virginija Langbakk, EIGE’s director.

    What do you think of the situation OP finds himself in? Should he keep challenging family tradition, or let his mother tell him what to do? Share your opinion with us in the comments!

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    Redditors said there’s no way the guy is being a jerk and even suggested that he, his wife, and his father should have their own dinners without all the trad wives’ negativity

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    Poll Question

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    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. Oh, and I love live music. I hope you enjoy my stories!

    What do you think ?
    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Get back here so we can bully you!" Common in a toxic family dynamic. They'll bully OP's wife for a few years until they feel she's "earned" her spot and the right to be treated with respect. His mother saying that he's making the bullying out to be a bigger deal than it is is very telling. She probably had to endure the same thing, and of course now she wants to pass it along. Good on OP for insisting the cycle breaks.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The other men are probably rallying behind her because they saw their own wives and (ex?) girlfriends go through it and are sick of it.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forcing traditional family values on people is abuse. Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she’s chained to the kitchen and needs to be everyone’s servant. It’s obvious that the women in his family have no self respect and expect her join them in their misery.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeh forcing those roles is unhinged... I bet that from their point of view It is not misery... these people are full on bullies. THEY DON'T ALLOW the men in the kitchen too... They are in complete control. they want to keep it that way. This new woman is a threat to the power dynamic that is all. I just wish the guys stood up to themselves against the misandry and later the misogyny so that no new woman gets bullied with this b******t.

    Load More Replies...
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    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She MUST be in the kitchen and take our mean bitchiness like a ...man?" NOPE. You lot are jealous snidey cats who want me to feed you a victim. Are you joking me? SUGGESTION 1 - Wife brings over a couple of dishes she prepared at home. SUGGESTION 2 (I prefer this one) - Wife goes to kitchen, but brings her homies (you and father and a couple of brothers) SUGGESTION 3 (because of course the cats don't actually want help and will kick the men out) - go to a house with 2 kitchens or bring a portable outdoor stove and wife cooks there with her homies.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP did say several times that he, his brother, and his dad tried several times to help in the kitchen just to be kicked out of there.

    Load More Replies...
    A S Mora
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is it with these weird family dynamics? This man's mother is essentially demanding to have her DIL to belittle with the other harpies and use for free labor because... family? Lady, go join a sorority since you're obviously still mentally 20/21yo. Props to the husband for putting the kibosh on that BS.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Allow" - oooo, we're not *even* having this conversation

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So NTA here. He actually did say the men tried to help in the kitchen, only to be kicked out. So the women in the kitchen prefer not to eat a better food (OP doesn't say it's bad). Wow, talk about acceptance. No one should take that level of bullying from anyone. They will never change. Forget about the future, it will not happen.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A distant normal family is better than a close toxic family. I hope OP's wife will realize that.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he has to "allow his wife" in the kitchen while the husband is not "allowed" himself in the kitchen... Holy s**t. U know what i see. The mom in the family is not actually "allowed" to do anything she is in complete control and she loves that hierarchy traditional b******t.

    The Phantom Stranger
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find this whole "trad wife" trend to be ridiculous, but this goes beyond that--we're talking full-blown Stepford Wives here. When my parents got married in the mid-1960's, my mother was a registered nurse, and my father was a computer programmer. When my father passed, I found old tax records that showed my mother earned considerably more than my father in the first few years of their marriage. Although they both grew up in small, conservative towns, they both took turns cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. My mom wasn't at ardent feminist by any means, but she would have told anyone what to go do with themselves if they insisted she stick to "traditional roles". It seems like we're moving backwards as a society in a lot of ways--sounds like it's probably too late for the women of this family, but at least some of the men have escaped the "traditional" nonsense. Hopefully OP and her husband can form a relationship with those survivors outside the toxic family dynamic.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your wife is not a traditional wife She doesn't have to be one either. They need to learn to accept this. She's not obligated to spend her time in a kitchen. Especially with hostile,catty women,who make her feel unwelcome. Do they realize how obnoxious they are to be around? I would tell them my wife is not " allowed" to be around ppl who act catty,rude and hostile. Otherwise since she is her own person and not a child, she can be wherever she wants to be. If they don't change their attitude, you 2 will not be coming over for a while.

    Load More Comments
    Insomniac
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Get back here so we can bully you!" Common in a toxic family dynamic. They'll bully OP's wife for a few years until they feel she's "earned" her spot and the right to be treated with respect. His mother saying that he's making the bullying out to be a bigger deal than it is is very telling. She probably had to endure the same thing, and of course now she wants to pass it along. Good on OP for insisting the cycle breaks.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The other men are probably rallying behind her because they saw their own wives and (ex?) girlfriends go through it and are sick of it.

    Load More Replies...
    Melissa anderson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Forcing traditional family values on people is abuse. Just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she’s chained to the kitchen and needs to be everyone’s servant. It’s obvious that the women in his family have no self respect and expect her join them in their misery.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeh forcing those roles is unhinged... I bet that from their point of view It is not misery... these people are full on bullies. THEY DON'T ALLOW the men in the kitchen too... They are in complete control. they want to keep it that way. This new woman is a threat to the power dynamic that is all. I just wish the guys stood up to themselves against the misandry and later the misogyny so that no new woman gets bullied with this b******t.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "She MUST be in the kitchen and take our mean bitchiness like a ...man?" NOPE. You lot are jealous snidey cats who want me to feed you a victim. Are you joking me? SUGGESTION 1 - Wife brings over a couple of dishes she prepared at home. SUGGESTION 2 (I prefer this one) - Wife goes to kitchen, but brings her homies (you and father and a couple of brothers) SUGGESTION 3 (because of course the cats don't actually want help and will kick the men out) - go to a house with 2 kitchens or bring a portable outdoor stove and wife cooks there with her homies.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP did say several times that he, his brother, and his dad tried several times to help in the kitchen just to be kicked out of there.

    Load More Replies...
    A S Mora
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is it with these weird family dynamics? This man's mother is essentially demanding to have her DIL to belittle with the other harpies and use for free labor because... family? Lady, go join a sorority since you're obviously still mentally 20/21yo. Props to the husband for putting the kibosh on that BS.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Allow" - oooo, we're not *even* having this conversation

    Hey!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So NTA here. He actually did say the men tried to help in the kitchen, only to be kicked out. So the women in the kitchen prefer not to eat a better food (OP doesn't say it's bad). Wow, talk about acceptance. No one should take that level of bullying from anyone. They will never change. Forget about the future, it will not happen.

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A distant normal family is better than a close toxic family. I hope OP's wife will realize that.

    Ben Aziza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that he has to "allow his wife" in the kitchen while the husband is not "allowed" himself in the kitchen... Holy s**t. U know what i see. The mom in the family is not actually "allowed" to do anything she is in complete control and she loves that hierarchy traditional b******t.

    The Phantom Stranger
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find this whole "trad wife" trend to be ridiculous, but this goes beyond that--we're talking full-blown Stepford Wives here. When my parents got married in the mid-1960's, my mother was a registered nurse, and my father was a computer programmer. When my father passed, I found old tax records that showed my mother earned considerably more than my father in the first few years of their marriage. Although they both grew up in small, conservative towns, they both took turns cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. My mom wasn't at ardent feminist by any means, but she would have told anyone what to go do with themselves if they insisted she stick to "traditional roles". It seems like we're moving backwards as a society in a lot of ways--sounds like it's probably too late for the women of this family, but at least some of the men have escaped the "traditional" nonsense. Hopefully OP and her husband can form a relationship with those survivors outside the toxic family dynamic.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your wife is not a traditional wife She doesn't have to be one either. They need to learn to accept this. She's not obligated to spend her time in a kitchen. Especially with hostile,catty women,who make her feel unwelcome. Do they realize how obnoxious they are to be around? I would tell them my wife is not " allowed" to be around ppl who act catty,rude and hostile. Otherwise since she is her own person and not a child, she can be wherever she wants to be. If they don't change their attitude, you 2 will not be coming over for a while.

    Load More Comments
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