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Aita for being mad at my dad?
I am a highschool-aged teenager (I won’t say my exact age), and I am a girl. I have always had a hard time making friends. I have autism. I have some friends that live in my neighborhood, who are younger than me by ≈2 years. I have a small social battery that empties quickly and fills up slowly. My dad also is very introverted with a lot of social anxiety, but he doesn’t have autism like me (as far as I know). He has been pushing me to hangout with my friends every chance I get. His reasoning is that as an adult it’s very hard to make friends, and I already understand that. One of my friends is home alone often and stays up late. Yesterday night there was an earthquake in my area. It didn’t cause damage, though. It happened late in the night and I didn’t feel it. Yesterday I was very stressed because of various reasons. I did NOT feel up to playing or hanging out with anyone. My dad kept pushing me to invite a friend. And after a bit of pushing me, he guilted me, saying “I bet *friend* is nervous, especially if she was home alone last night.” He meant scared of the earthquake. I felt terrible. I felt like I was a terrible friend for not considering that. I am nearly positive that he guilted me. He’s lost his job, so our whole family is having a hard time currently. I feel terrible for being mad at him, but I’m starting to wonder if this could be considered manipulation. When I have the chance to talk to my mom about things like this I do, but because of my dad losing his job she does extra work for hers and is in her office working most of the day. I also feel bad because there are people that have had Dads that do terrible things, and I feel like I’m just overreacting and victimizing myself. I love my dad, and I want to keep my good relationship with him, I just can’t handle the pushing to make me hangout with friends and get new friends anymore. So aita? (Also I am sorry for any Grammer mistakes, I don’t have to energy to read through this multiple times.) also feel free to ask me questions, I know I’m not the best at explaining things. I feel I should also specify that I do like my friends and hangout with them often, just not every single day.
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What do you think ?
ItsAme 1 year ago
I feel like because he's introverted as well he feels like he wants you to have a less difficult time than he does. I'm introverted and at times it's difficult for me to exist in the outside world. I don't think he's trying to be manipulative, just trying to give you a better chance than he has had. Good parents want better for their kids. He sounds to be around my age, and we weren't necessarily raised without manipulative tactics, unfortunately. So he may not be able to express himself properly. It's important for everyone to have friends even if it's just a few. Don't get mad at him but instead talk to him about your feelings. It may be difficult at first but it could help build a closer relationship with him. And do try to have a little fun with friends every now and then, but still give yourself plenty of time to recharge your social battery. With time it will get easier. :)
ItsAme 1 year ago
I feel like because he's introverted as well he feels like he wants you to have a less difficult time than he does. I'm introverted and at times it's difficult for me to exist in the outside world. I don't think he's trying to be manipulative, just trying to give you a better chance than he has had. Good parents want better for their kids. He sounds to be around my age, and we weren't necessarily raised without manipulative tactics, unfortunately. So he may not be able to express himself properly. It's important for everyone to have friends even if it's just a few. Don't get mad at him but instead talk to him about your feelings. It may be difficult at first but it could help build a closer relationship with him. And do try to have a little fun with friends every now and then, but still give yourself plenty of time to recharge your social battery. With time it will get easier. :)
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