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Man Asks If He Was Wrong To Ask A Mom Who Started Breastfeeding Her Baby To Sit At Another Table
Sometimes people get uncomfortable about things that others consider to be the most normal in the world. It could be that they were raised differently, or in their culture, some things are considered to be taboo.
However, as a society, we make some things out to be taboo although they shouldn’t be as they are normal and natural. That leads to people being uncomfortable while talking about it or witnessing those things. That was what happened to Reddit user Chance_Object_7968, who felt uneasy when a woman started breastfeeding her baby not too far from him.
He felt uncomfortable and asked her to sit in another place, but she refused. People who read the story came to a conclusion that the man was at fault and shouldn’t have said what he said.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
A man feels like he was being a jerk for asking a breastfeeding mom to sit at another table because he felt uncomfortable and asks the internet for a second opinion
Image credits: Benjamin Magaña (not the actual photo)
The original poster (OP) introduces himself as a 27-year-old man who has a job that allows him long breaks during which he likes to go to a café and sit there. Apparently the café in question is often busy, but it probably doesn’t bother the man as he evidently continues coming there.
After a while the baby starts crying and the mom understands it as a sign that her child is hungry. So she does what she has to and starts breastfeeding it. That is when the man becomes uncomfortable; he doesn’t know where to put his eyes and eventually asks if the woman could sit at another table.
The OP likes to spend his breaks in a café that usually gets quite busy
Image credits: Chance_Object_7968
The OP describes that the mom looked sorry, but she didn’t move. So the man decided that he also wouldn’t go to the seat that was less comfortable and just hurried up to drink his coffee and left.
At the end, the man understood that he might have been rude and insensitive. He felt the judgemental looks from other café guests, but he had no intention to force the woman out in the first place.
One time a woman with a baby came in and asked the man if she could sit at his table as there were not many seats available
Image credits: Chance_Object_7968
The man said yes, but after a while, he regretted it as the mom started breastfeeding her baby and he felt uncomfortable
Image credits: Chance_Object_7968
Chance_Object_7968 mentions that he realizes that breastfeeding is natural, but he still felt that he couldn’t stay in the café any longer. It is not uncommon for men to feel uncomfortable in situations like these. But it’s not that moms enjoy it either; at the same time, they will not leave their babies starving.
A lot of people in the comments were saying that the OP shouldn’t have said anything and many of them were repeating that it’s a natural thing that people should just accept it.
Image credits: Chance_Object_7968
He wanted the mom to sit in another place, but she couldn’t, so he quickly drank his coffee and left, but felt that other people didn’t approve of his actions
Image credits: Chance_Object_7968
It seems that the man really felt bad about asking the woman to go to another seat and wanted to know what others would think about the situation he was in. People in the comments showed no mercy and the verdict was that the OP was in the wrong for asking her to move.
But what do you think? Do you reckon that this man deserves redemption as he himself feels bad for his actions? Maybe you have some experiences that are similar to this and would like to share them? Let us know your reactions in the comments!
People who read the story unanimously agreed that the OP was being mean and shouldn’t have said anything
What do you think ?
Marco Conti 4 years ago
What is it with men and female bodily functions? I remember buying tampons for my then girlfriend and these guys making a scene at the cash register. "Dude, you buy those things for your old lady?". I think I answered "Are you 5 years old or something?". I have always been puzzled by this attitude. Breastfeeding is as natural as things get. Sure, you don't want to stare and lick your lips, but at the very least be a grownup and either ignore it or ask if there is something you can do to help (in a busy bar if the mom is having trouble, get your mind out of the gutter). Folks, grow up.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Exactly, Marco. Well said. Grow the hell up you stupid little man boys. Women's bodies exist outside your need to sexualize them for your own gratification. It's pathetic.
Load More Replies...
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
If I see someone breastfeeding in public, I probably won't think a thing about it. If someone asks to share my table where I'm eating, pops out a boob and begins breastfeeding 2 ft in front of me, I'm going to be taken aback a little. While I was sitting there, that was my personal space. I shared it (yes that became her space too at that point) but I'd be awfully surprised by it. I'd like to think I'd just shrug it off and go about the rest of my routine. I'd even like to think I might make some small talk with the lady. But honestly, if you catch someone by surprise, half the time their reaction may not be stellar, regardless of what the situation was.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
There's literally no difference between the woman nursing her baby and the woman actually eating food herself at the table. You wouldn't be discomfited by the one, so why would you be by the other?
Load More Replies...
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
The man was in a situation where he was uncomfortable. He apparently did not make a major scene and bowed to the inevitable. He is giving serious thought to the situation and everyone's reactions, including his own. He is not an a**hole, just a clueless guy caught off guard in a situation he was not prepared for.
Falcon 4 years ago
Yea, I don't think he is an asshole. He handled the situation poorly, but it could have been worse. I don't understand why he felt uncomfortable tho, drink your coffee and continue focusing on whatever you were doing.
Load More Replies...
Daphne Williams 4 years ago
It's rude to stare at other people when they're eating anyway, so he could have just kept his eyes to himself if it bothered him. Why should she move?
Charleybo 4 years ago
Because he was there first. I'm a woman and I'd be uncomfortable too. It was unexpected and most people aren't used to eating out and have someone plop their boob (or anything else) out right in front of them.
Load More Replies...
Donkey boi 4 years ago
Ok, Pro tip for people that don't like seeing/don't agree with/don't feel comfortable seeing a woman breastfeed and want to stop it! It happens so often it's almost like there is a constant stream of babies being born! But you're out and about, chilling at your favourite café, relaxing at a quiet bistro, having a break in the shopping mall, etc. You see a mother with her infant, it starts getting agitated maybe even crying... yep, the baby is hungry. So the mother whips out her breast and the baby latches on. Here's what you do... Once you establish what's happening... mind your own f*****g business.
Rens 4 years ago
As a woman I couldn't care less if a woman wants to breastfeed her baby in my presence, it's perfectly normal and natural and that's what breasts were designed for. If I were in her situation I would probably turn to one side if possible so that I'm not intruding on anyone's space. I live in the UK and people have such a stupid attitude towards women breastfeeding their babies in public. What many people might not realise is when a baby gets hungry and starts fussing, the breastmilk starts flowing and it's very embarrassing for the mother as well as very uncomfortable if she's not able to feed her baby "on time".
Helen Haley 4 years ago
I grew up in a giant family, saw a lot of breast feeding. The only time I have a problem is when someone makes a giant production out of it. My sister used to make a whole production out of breast feeding in public. Just because it isn't sexual to you doesn't mean everyone around you is going to be good with it, just a little courtesy goes a long way. Like taking off your shoes and socks on a plane. You'll do it for a bit to get a splinter out, but everyone knows your an ahole when you take them off and just leave it like that for ages and then prop them up on the seat in front of you. Having a baby does not excuse you from being courteous.
Jerry Mathers 4 years ago
To me, it comes down to learning to deal with your own discomfort, as that is the real issue. The problem he had was his own, which seems to me to be a problem with perspective. Keep the perspective that this a person feeding her child, not something that is in any way sexual. View it as a possible uncomfortable situation for her and, even if it's not, that she is someone managing to meet a child's need. To accelerate getting his perspective changed, take it a step further by offering to grab napkins, her drink (if she hasn't got it yet), etc.. In other words, do for her what you would do if she (or another person) were doing something equivalent that has similar demands on her resources. By actively seeking to make her comfortable, you will make yourself comfortable with the situation as well. Instead of making her isolated and yourself feel uncomfortable, you are making the world a slightly better place and turning an internal negative into a positive. :-)
Lee Hardy 4 years ago
I am a breastfeeding mothers and if my son needs feeding and I'm with people I haven't feed Infront off before I simply ask "would you mind if I feed my son here?" No one has ever said no, I have been offered move comfortable places to feed but for me it allows the other individuals to not be caught of guard and left feeling awkward or not knowing what to do or wear to look. A little common courtesy doesn't harm.. In this situation the man probably would have just finished his coffee and left.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
What is it with men and female bodily functions? I remember buying tampons for my then girlfriend and these guys making a scene at the cash register. "Dude, you buy those things for your old lady?". I think I answered "Are you 5 years old or something?". I have always been puzzled by this attitude. Breastfeeding is as natural as things get. Sure, you don't want to stare and lick your lips, but at the very least be a grownup and either ignore it or ask if there is something you can do to help (in a busy bar if the mom is having trouble, get your mind out of the gutter). Folks, grow up.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Exactly, Marco. Well said. Grow the hell up you stupid little man boys. Women's bodies exist outside your need to sexualize them for your own gratification. It's pathetic.
Load More Replies... Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
If I see someone breastfeeding in public, I probably won't think a thing about it. If someone asks to share my table where I'm eating, pops out a boob and begins breastfeeding 2 ft in front of me, I'm going to be taken aback a little. While I was sitting there, that was my personal space. I shared it (yes that became her space too at that point) but I'd be awfully surprised by it. I'd like to think I'd just shrug it off and go about the rest of my routine. I'd even like to think I might make some small talk with the lady. But honestly, if you catch someone by surprise, half the time their reaction may not be stellar, regardless of what the situation was.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
There's literally no difference between the woman nursing her baby and the woman actually eating food herself at the table. You wouldn't be discomfited by the one, so why would you be by the other?
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
The man was in a situation where he was uncomfortable. He apparently did not make a major scene and bowed to the inevitable. He is giving serious thought to the situation and everyone's reactions, including his own. He is not an a**hole, just a clueless guy caught off guard in a situation he was not prepared for.
Falcon 4 years ago
Yea, I don't think he is an asshole. He handled the situation poorly, but it could have been worse. I don't understand why he felt uncomfortable tho, drink your coffee and continue focusing on whatever you were doing.
Load More Replies... Daphne Williams 4 years ago
It's rude to stare at other people when they're eating anyway, so he could have just kept his eyes to himself if it bothered him. Why should she move?
Charleybo 4 years ago
Because he was there first. I'm a woman and I'd be uncomfortable too. It was unexpected and most people aren't used to eating out and have someone plop their boob (or anything else) out right in front of them.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 4 years ago
Ok, Pro tip for people that don't like seeing/don't agree with/don't feel comfortable seeing a woman breastfeed and want to stop it! It happens so often it's almost like there is a constant stream of babies being born! But you're out and about, chilling at your favourite café, relaxing at a quiet bistro, having a break in the shopping mall, etc. You see a mother with her infant, it starts getting agitated maybe even crying... yep, the baby is hungry. So the mother whips out her breast and the baby latches on. Here's what you do... Once you establish what's happening... mind your own f*****g business.
Rens 4 years ago
As a woman I couldn't care less if a woman wants to breastfeed her baby in my presence, it's perfectly normal and natural and that's what breasts were designed for. If I were in her situation I would probably turn to one side if possible so that I'm not intruding on anyone's space. I live in the UK and people have such a stupid attitude towards women breastfeeding their babies in public. What many people might not realise is when a baby gets hungry and starts fussing, the breastmilk starts flowing and it's very embarrassing for the mother as well as very uncomfortable if she's not able to feed her baby "on time".
Helen Haley 4 years ago
I grew up in a giant family, saw a lot of breast feeding. The only time I have a problem is when someone makes a giant production out of it. My sister used to make a whole production out of breast feeding in public. Just because it isn't sexual to you doesn't mean everyone around you is going to be good with it, just a little courtesy goes a long way. Like taking off your shoes and socks on a plane. You'll do it for a bit to get a splinter out, but everyone knows your an ahole when you take them off and just leave it like that for ages and then prop them up on the seat in front of you. Having a baby does not excuse you from being courteous.
Jerry Mathers 4 years ago
To me, it comes down to learning to deal with your own discomfort, as that is the real issue. The problem he had was his own, which seems to me to be a problem with perspective. Keep the perspective that this a person feeding her child, not something that is in any way sexual. View it as a possible uncomfortable situation for her and, even if it's not, that she is someone managing to meet a child's need. To accelerate getting his perspective changed, take it a step further by offering to grab napkins, her drink (if she hasn't got it yet), etc.. In other words, do for her what you would do if she (or another person) were doing something equivalent that has similar demands on her resources. By actively seeking to make her comfortable, you will make yourself comfortable with the situation as well. Instead of making her isolated and yourself feel uncomfortable, you are making the world a slightly better place and turning an internal negative into a positive. :-)
Lee Hardy 4 years ago
I am a breastfeeding mothers and if my son needs feeding and I'm with people I haven't feed Infront off before I simply ask "would you mind if I feed my son here?" No one has ever said no, I have been offered move comfortable places to feed but for me it allows the other individuals to not be caught of guard and left feeling awkward or not knowing what to do or wear to look. A little common courtesy doesn't harm.. In this situation the man probably would have just finished his coffee and left.
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