A Sociologist Studied Why Adult Children Cut Off Their Parents, And It Was Rarely About Trauma

I have a few close friends with less-than-ideal relationships with their parents, and I can see how hard it is for most of them. Toxic parenting leaves marks in ways that outsiders rarely understand.

We’re talking about a lifetime of resentment: decades of neglect, emotional absence, verbal put-downs, and blatant favoritism, and that, they say, is not even scratching the surface. It’s a list of hurts they struggle to put down, no matter how much therapy they’ve been through.

Some of them decided to go no contact. One had been estranged from her mother for the last 10 years, and she had always told me that it was the “best life decision she’d ever made next to marrying the love of her life.” 

I’m obviously happy for her for finally having that much-needed peace. It did seem like the logical solution. But was it really the best solution in the long run and can it be a magic bullet?