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Seeking to adopt a kitten, my husband and I instead landed one of the sassiest seniors in all Florida after her owner’s fur allergy worsened. I soon noticed that every time I turned around she featured a different expression. From angelic floof to soul-crushing despot, here are some of Blanche’s best expressions. Behold!

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    1. I got texted this picture of a senior needing a new home. I was instantly smitten, but my husband wasn’t sold just yet…

    2. Until we brought her home and she did this!

    3. Then this

    4. “Sorry, I can’t, I have plans with my cat”

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    5. “Sorry, plans…”

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    6. “Big big plans”

    7. Time to bust out the fancy camera to really capture those Bette Davis eyes

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    8. Act natural

    9. Now mysterious…

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    10. Blanche in solidarity with the Christmas buddies

    11. Blanche’s former cat mom asked if there would be more Christmas pictures coming… there is meow!

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    12. Have yourself a meowy little Christmas!

    13. “But the ‘fire’ is so delightful”

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    14. Humbug!

    15. Blanche considering world domination

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    16. Few know that in 2016, she ran for for President of the United States

    17. Blanche’s platform included a moratorium on folding laundry

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    18. And sorting mail

    19. And an end to all “closed door policies”

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    20. And baths

    21. And a promise of Fancy Feast For All!

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    22. She’s giving careful consideration for a last minute 2020 bid

    23. Because she still believes the future is female…

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    24. Just look at this Lady Boss

    25. Boss Lady

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    26. And you better not tell her she’s “un-electable” because of her gender

    27. She’ll always win at patriarchy chicken, she moves for no man

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    28. Blanche is watching

    29. She knows where her enemies sleep

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    30. “Hello Clarice…”

    31. Blanche knows how to manage people

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    32. In fact she’s managing the release of our first indie rock album, it’s gonna be hot!

    33. But truthfully, her favorite thing is just to take it easy and she thinks the world should too.

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