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“What A Strong Woman”: People Praise Activist Who Ended Her Life By Starving To Protect Her Kids
A terminally ill 42-year-old English woman who refused food or water to hasten her passing has, in fact, passed.
Emma Bray from Barnstaple, England, was diagnosed with motor neuron disease two years ago.
She had been actively campaigning for Dignity in Dy*ng, and said that her decision to take control over her passing by voluntarily stopping eating and drinking, or VSED, would be her final act of parenting.
Highlights
- Emma Bray, 42, with motor neuron disease, chose to voluntarily stop eating and drinking (VSED) to control her passing and protect her children.
- Bray’s peaceful passing reignited the debate on legalizing assisted dying, coinciding with Britain's recent parliamentary vote on the issue.
- Voluntarily stopping eating and drinking (VSED) allowed Bray to have control over her passing process, lasting 10 to 14 days without coercion.
- Bray campaigned for dignity in d*ing, emphasizing her final act was to spare her loved ones trauma from her disease’s physical decline.
Her story has reopened the debate on the implications of medically assisted s**cide.
BP Daily - Your Source for Unbiased Reporting
“Hug everyone a little tighter”: Emma Bray’s final Instagram message is one of hope
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
According to a post on Bray’s Instagram account from July 14th, Bray passed peacefully at a hospice center in Devon. In a photo, we see her in a hospice bed overlooking green treetops and fluffy white clouds.
“If you are reading this then I’ve finished my final spin round the sun,” the caption read.
It continued: “I’ve lived a very good life, surrounded by love, music and laughter and I want this to continue in my memory.”
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
She urged friends to ask themselves “what would Emma do” in times of doubt and encouraged people to “hug everyone a little tighter.”
She ended her post with a quote from a 2012 Frank Turner song called “Long Live The Queen”, a tune about losing a terminally ill friend.
“Remember you get to dance another day but now you have to dance for one more of us,” Bray’s post said.
MND, also called ALS or Lou Gehrig’s, causes rapid muscle loss, leading to passing
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
According to the Cleveland Clinic, ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis—Lou Gehrig’s disease—is the most common motor neuron disease (MND) and the terms are used interchangeably.
The clinic’s website says: “ALS causes rapid loss of muscle control leading to disability and eventually de*th. There’s no cure for MND.”
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
When she received the diagnosis two years ago, Bray said in interviews, she was extraordinarily distraught.
“I remember howling like an animal when I realised the impact it would have on the children. My best friend was with me and, as we left, I said I wished it was cancer because there would be potential surgery or treatment, with MND there is nothing,” she said in an interview with The Mirror
Bray’s case has reopened the debate about whether assisted passing should be legalized
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
Emma had said that she was determined to live a full life because doctors told her the end would be very hard.
Roughly one month ago, Britain’s parliament voted in favor of the “Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life)” law, which would legalize assisted dy*ng, by a vote of 314 to 291.
Reuters reports that the bill “now proceeds to Britain’s upper chamber, the House of Lords, where it will undergo months of scrutiny.”
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
“The vote puts Britain on course to follow Australia, Canada and other countries, as well as some U.S. states, in permitting assisted dy*ng,” the article continued.
One of the most talked about cases of medically assisting su*cide happened in the forests of Switzerland with a device called a Sarco pod.
A criminal investigation is ongoing after an American woman in her 60s became the first person to use the device.
View this post on Instagram
Also known internationally as the “euthanasia pod,” the device works by releasing a large amount of nitrogen, giving the recipient a “peaceful, dignified” end to life after about five minutes.
But local media says autopsy reports in the case revealed “strangulation marks” on the woman’s neck, prompting officials to consider the possibility of m*rder.
While assisted su*cide is legal in Switzerland, the Sarco su*cide capsule does not comply with the law, Swiss officials have said.
“The thing I hate most about MND”: Bray explains why she chose to stop eating and drinking
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
Bray had been a staunch advocate of passing a bill to legalize assisted su*cide, saying that had the bill passed, it would’ve prevented her loved ones from suffering for two years with anticipatory grief.
In interviews, she described the agonizing moment of not being able to hug her children when they were sad.
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
“Watching your children grieve for you and not being able to hug them is the most painful feeling ever. This is hands down the thing I hate the most about MND. It’s taken my children’s mum from them little by little,” she said in an interview.
“The last bit of parenting I can do is to limit the suffering and trauma they have to witness,” she concluded.
For these reasons, Bray said she chose VSED.
VSED is not easy, but it let Bray take control of the circumstances surrounding her passing
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
View this post on Instagram
The Compassion in D*ing website explains that the practice of “voluntarily stopping eating and drinking” can be carried out by adults “with mental capacity to decide to do so and in the absence of control or coercion.”
They say passing from VSED typically takes between 10 to 14 days.
In choosing VSED, Bray has said that it’s not an “easy” way to pass, but that it was the only way she could have control over it.
Image credits: stupid_mnd / Instagram
“I want to protect my children from seeing me choke and struggle to breathe,” she said, referring to the horrendous side effects of MND.
“I don’t want to d*e, but I am going to and have come to terms with my impending de**h, and I know I want to d*e surrounded by loved ones, music and laughter, not in an emergency way after further decline.”
Netizens remain split on whether medically assisted su*cide should be legalized
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Crystal M 4 months ago
Why is 'my body, my choice' illegal in most countries? Are you paying my debts and experiencing my pain/grief? No? Then let me do as I wish as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.
Ellinor she/they/elle 4 months ago
Who genuinely thinks that anyone MUST live the longest they can even if they are vegetables by the end ? Like genuinely, please, tell me why other's way of handling how and when they d!e is so important to YOU personally ?
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
It's like people who fight against LBGTQ rights! I'm straight as hell, but how can I be bothered so much by how other people find happiness and love?! Good for them!!! They don't bother me in any way, they make society richer, more open! Don't let conservatists win, it's not a smart move trying to go backwards. And tbh, I find it really hard to empathize with trans persons because I have no clue how they really feel or what they have to go through. But I rationally know they have to face A LOT of obstacles and I won somewhat the genetic lottery because it doesn't affect me. It must be so hard, ugh.
Load More Replies...
Ben 4 months ago
My dad died from ALS. It is horrible and happens so fast and nothing could be done. He never even made it to the point of a wheelchair.
Deborah B 4 months ago
Dying can be slow, horrificly painful, and lacking in all dignity. Why should anyone have to go through a drawn-out and painful terminal illness, or watch a loved one do so? Euthanasia should be offered as a matter of course to anyone who is referred to hospice care, or has a incurrable condition where their pain cannot be adequately managed. If you would offer mercy to a pet in that condition, a human should be allowed to make the same choice for themself. I'm disabled. I'm facing declining health in a society that doesn't want to help and care for me, has inadequate medical and social care, and also refuses to help me die. That really sucks.
Undercover 4 months ago
I recently heard an interview with a woman I loosely know (I went to school with her sister) and she suffers from Epidermolysis bullosa ("butterfly child"). She runs a charity full time and advocates for disabled people. She said: "Considering demographics and ageing, there is a really high possibitlity that you WILL get disabled at some point in your life!" It's the same with activism for a dignified dead: Do something to make the life of disabled or really sick people easier, speak out, while you can plant a seed. You never know what tomorrow brings. ❤️ My bf had a terminal diagnosis (cancer) and he told me afterwards that he was so greatful that he had ONE person to which he could speak about death, when he was at his lowest. Tbh at the time I had zero fuckks to give and promised him, I would help him to have a peaceful death if all goes even more south. It gave him the strenght to push on while all chances were against him and doctors still don't know how he survived.
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
Edit: we still live on borrowed time, this September will mark the 20 year anniversary since his diagnosis 🥳🥰😍🤩 and he gave me the same promise if my mental status will reach a point that makes a somewhat independent life impossible. He's a keeper ❤️
Load More Replies...
Atom Bohr 4 months ago (edited)
What a horrible choice to be forced onto this woman. She had a terminal condition, but was of sound mind, and yet she had to go through the tórtúre of hunger and deadly dehydration. That's a horrific way to go. There are quick and painless methods that are used every day on our beloved pets, but instead she had to suffer. How awful that this was the best option she had. Edited to avoid censor
Undercover 4 months ago
It's horrible ☹️ even if you don't recieve active help, just give me the morphine so that I won't feel no pain, no anxiety and can go in my sleep. At least that's what I woud prefer. Thirst and hunger can be BRUTAL before you reach the stage of dieying. In the last days don't forcefeed anybody... The organs shut down and eating / drinking will make the last steps just painful for the patient
Load More Replies...
BrunoVI 4 months ago (edited)
This SHOULD be a false choice. The fact that our government is terrified that terminally ill, grievously suffering people might become addicted to 0p!0!d pain medication is absolutely insanity. My father wasted away because his throat was in so much pain that he couldn't swallow, and cramming the feeding tubes in and out was precisely what made it so bad... because God (I mean Government) forbid he get a little Percocet or even morphine.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
My MiL had terminal cancer and couldn't get her pain meds from her regular doctor so we went to another clinic. They would NOT prescribe pain meds to a dying old woman on an initial visit. It's insane.
Load More Replies...
Sparkle 4 months ago
I always say the love of a parent know no bounds. She loved her kids enough to save them the pain. My mom and I always say we are kind enough to put our animals down instead of making them live in pain. However we don't give humans the same respect. Instead we make people live in pain be it mentally or physically.
ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM 4 months ago (edited)
DYING, DYING, SUICÍDE, DEATH, DYING, DYING, SUICÍDE, MURDER, SUICÍDE, SUICÍDE, SUICÍDE, F**KÍNG, DYING, DIE, DEATH, DIE, SUICÍDE. BP authors, you write A WHOLE F**KÍNG PIECE ABOUT SUICÍDE, but you don't DARE to write out these words? This is mammonismal BIGOTRY on its highest level. Pull that stick out your ARSES, it's shoved up so deep it's tickling your brains. /edit: whoever told me how to write "bad" words without them being censored again lied, so back to the old style.
Grenelda Thurber 4 months ago
The word-substitution that you're seeing is the result of automated software than runs every time anything is posted on Bored Panda. The software has a list of forbidden words that are removed automatically. Bored Panda (and many other sites) uses such software to keep this site from being blocked by Parental Control Software, such as Net Nanny, Bark, Norton Family, etc. PCS systems also have a list of banned words. Any site PCS encounters that has too much banned verbiage is blocked. I'd guess Bored Panda does this to stay solvent, because advertisers don't want to spend money placing ads on sites that are routinely banned. In fact, if you're reading this site at school, work, or a public library, Bored Panda's automated process may be the reason you can even see this. There's no bigotry, just a bit of software running in the background.
Load More Replies...
Steven Westermann 4 months ago
I was diagnosed with bulbar ALS in May 2024. I live in Texas, and I’m 68 years old. I take Nudexta medication to help with the emotional outbursts of laughing and crying. The weakness, slurred speech, and muscle loss progressed quickly. Mobility has been an issue since Dec 26, when I fell and broke my hip, and although I made small strides at first, I felt like my life had been placed on a countdown, as there was no known cure other than the prescription of riluzole medications, vitamins, and therapies. As the disease progressed, my symptoms worsened. With my neurologist's guidance we decided to try other approaches and started the ALS/MND treatment, and it changed everything. Within 5 months, I noticed more strength in my limbs, clearer speech, and I have stopped using feeding tubes. I’m starting to learn how to walk again & I now sleep better. This ALS/MND treatment program gave me back control and hope. we got the treatment from uinehealthcentre. net This is a game changer for peopl
Laura MG 4 months ago
I'm a senior, not terminally ill or have a life altering disorder but I still have an "expiration date" in about 6 months when I lose my housing assistance (SS income is $1050/mo) because I'd rather be dead than homeless.
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
If you need somebody to talk, just reply. Edit: I won't judge or try to talk you out of it, it's just an offer when anxiety and loneliness get overwhelming. Because society has no place to talk about death
Load More Replies...
Midoribird Aoi 4 months ago
I don't disagree; everyone should be able to decide . However, the sheer amount of work that needs to be done so that family members are not charged with murder is oppressive. You have to leave a long paper trail of proof that you alone made the decision and nobody made it for you.
Vanessa Panerosa 4 months ago
It’s just so muddy when it comes to the free will part, unfortunately. A lot of times, if your death is inevitable you may not be of sound mind to make this choice - what I think many of the courts are afraid of - which is why they’re so reticent to comply. Family pets don’t leave wills and inheritances behind. We don’t have to second-guess those motives.
Load More Replies... Hannah Welfare 4 months ago
Sick of BP’s ridiculous censorship of ordinary, inoffensive words like “death”.
Vanessa Panerosa 4 months ago
When she described the trauma caused to her children from watching her decline and not be able to hug them I totally lost it. She really did do this as a last act of parenting. She deserved so much more. If we can’t cure a disease then we have to alow the person their choice either what to do with what’s left.
Scrappychick 4 months ago
In many countries human beings are able to enact a legally binding "Do Not Resuscitate" order which stops medical professionals from performing "heroic measures" when they arrive at an A&E. If you are diagnosed with an illness that will untimely end your life in a slow, debilitating, and/or painful way it is insane to me that people are legally forbidden from ending their life while they are still mentally cognisant in a dignified manner and those who take on that emotional burden could face legal ramifications. The fact that we can take an animal to a veterinarian and have them be peacefully "put to sleep" to avoid their suffering unnecessarily but human beings cant persue that option for themselves is just crazy
KrazyChiMama 4 months ago
I think anyone in the medical field who has cared for the terminally ill secretly wishes we could do more to help.
Cee Cee 4 months ago
Unfortunately not everyone. The assisted dy ing debate has been widely reported here in the UK. Listened to a palliative care doctor arguing against assisted dy ing. Claims it's not necessary and people get excellent palliative care. No they bloody well don't. My biker friend di ed in dreadful pain from cancer.
Load More Replies...
MagicJacket 4 months ago
How we leave this world is about the only agency we have. Most everything else is controlled by some entity outside ourselves. The only thing that is TRULY ours is the manner in which we pass away, if we choose to assert that agency. This is why I get SO angry at the thought of someone ending someone else. How f*****g dare they?!!!!!
Sparkle 4 months ago
I took a class in college called death and dying. Long story short death is nothing to fear. We live and die. Why sensor a simple word?
Load More Replies...
Crystal M 4 months ago
Why is 'my body, my choice' illegal in most countries? Are you paying my debts and experiencing my pain/grief? No? Then let me do as I wish as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.
Ellinor she/they/elle 4 months ago
Who genuinely thinks that anyone MUST live the longest they can even if they are vegetables by the end ? Like genuinely, please, tell me why other's way of handling how and when they d!e is so important to YOU personally ?
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
It's like people who fight against LBGTQ rights! I'm straight as hell, but how can I be bothered so much by how other people find happiness and love?! Good for them!!! They don't bother me in any way, they make society richer, more open! Don't let conservatists win, it's not a smart move trying to go backwards. And tbh, I find it really hard to empathize with trans persons because I have no clue how they really feel or what they have to go through. But I rationally know they have to face A LOT of obstacles and I won somewhat the genetic lottery because it doesn't affect me. It must be so hard, ugh.
Load More Replies... Ben 4 months ago
My dad died from ALS. It is horrible and happens so fast and nothing could be done. He never even made it to the point of a wheelchair.
Deborah B 4 months ago
Dying can be slow, horrificly painful, and lacking in all dignity. Why should anyone have to go through a drawn-out and painful terminal illness, or watch a loved one do so? Euthanasia should be offered as a matter of course to anyone who is referred to hospice care, or has a incurrable condition where their pain cannot be adequately managed. If you would offer mercy to a pet in that condition, a human should be allowed to make the same choice for themself. I'm disabled. I'm facing declining health in a society that doesn't want to help and care for me, has inadequate medical and social care, and also refuses to help me die. That really sucks.
Undercover 4 months ago
I recently heard an interview with a woman I loosely know (I went to school with her sister) and she suffers from Epidermolysis bullosa ("butterfly child"). She runs a charity full time and advocates for disabled people. She said: "Considering demographics and ageing, there is a really high possibitlity that you WILL get disabled at some point in your life!" It's the same with activism for a dignified dead: Do something to make the life of disabled or really sick people easier, speak out, while you can plant a seed. You never know what tomorrow brings. ❤️ My bf had a terminal diagnosis (cancer) and he told me afterwards that he was so greatful that he had ONE person to which he could speak about death, when he was at his lowest. Tbh at the time I had zero fuckks to give and promised him, I would help him to have a peaceful death if all goes even more south. It gave him the strenght to push on while all chances were against him and doctors still don't know how he survived.
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
Edit: we still live on borrowed time, this September will mark the 20 year anniversary since his diagnosis 🥳🥰😍🤩 and he gave me the same promise if my mental status will reach a point that makes a somewhat independent life impossible. He's a keeper ❤️
Load More Replies... Atom Bohr 4 months ago (edited)
What a horrible choice to be forced onto this woman. She had a terminal condition, but was of sound mind, and yet she had to go through the tórtúre of hunger and deadly dehydration. That's a horrific way to go. There are quick and painless methods that are used every day on our beloved pets, but instead she had to suffer. How awful that this was the best option she had. Edited to avoid censor
Undercover 4 months ago
It's horrible ☹️ even if you don't recieve active help, just give me the morphine so that I won't feel no pain, no anxiety and can go in my sleep. At least that's what I woud prefer. Thirst and hunger can be BRUTAL before you reach the stage of dieying. In the last days don't forcefeed anybody... The organs shut down and eating / drinking will make the last steps just painful for the patient
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 4 months ago (edited)
This SHOULD be a false choice. The fact that our government is terrified that terminally ill, grievously suffering people might become addicted to 0p!0!d pain medication is absolutely insanity. My father wasted away because his throat was in so much pain that he couldn't swallow, and cramming the feeding tubes in and out was precisely what made it so bad... because God (I mean Government) forbid he get a little Percocet or even morphine.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
My MiL had terminal cancer and couldn't get her pain meds from her regular doctor so we went to another clinic. They would NOT prescribe pain meds to a dying old woman on an initial visit. It's insane.
Load More Replies... Sparkle 4 months ago
I always say the love of a parent know no bounds. She loved her kids enough to save them the pain. My mom and I always say we are kind enough to put our animals down instead of making them live in pain. However we don't give humans the same respect. Instead we make people live in pain be it mentally or physically.
ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM 4 months ago (edited)
DYING, DYING, SUICÍDE, DEATH, DYING, DYING, SUICÍDE, MURDER, SUICÍDE, SUICÍDE, SUICÍDE, F**KÍNG, DYING, DIE, DEATH, DIE, SUICÍDE. BP authors, you write A WHOLE F**KÍNG PIECE ABOUT SUICÍDE, but you don't DARE to write out these words? This is mammonismal BIGOTRY on its highest level. Pull that stick out your ARSES, it's shoved up so deep it's tickling your brains. /edit: whoever told me how to write "bad" words without them being censored again lied, so back to the old style.
Grenelda Thurber 4 months ago
The word-substitution that you're seeing is the result of automated software than runs every time anything is posted on Bored Panda. The software has a list of forbidden words that are removed automatically. Bored Panda (and many other sites) uses such software to keep this site from being blocked by Parental Control Software, such as Net Nanny, Bark, Norton Family, etc. PCS systems also have a list of banned words. Any site PCS encounters that has too much banned verbiage is blocked. I'd guess Bored Panda does this to stay solvent, because advertisers don't want to spend money placing ads on sites that are routinely banned. In fact, if you're reading this site at school, work, or a public library, Bored Panda's automated process may be the reason you can even see this. There's no bigotry, just a bit of software running in the background.
Load More Replies... Steven Westermann 4 months ago
I was diagnosed with bulbar ALS in May 2024. I live in Texas, and I’m 68 years old. I take Nudexta medication to help with the emotional outbursts of laughing and crying. The weakness, slurred speech, and muscle loss progressed quickly. Mobility has been an issue since Dec 26, when I fell and broke my hip, and although I made small strides at first, I felt like my life had been placed on a countdown, as there was no known cure other than the prescription of riluzole medications, vitamins, and therapies. As the disease progressed, my symptoms worsened. With my neurologist's guidance we decided to try other approaches and started the ALS/MND treatment, and it changed everything. Within 5 months, I noticed more strength in my limbs, clearer speech, and I have stopped using feeding tubes. I’m starting to learn how to walk again & I now sleep better. This ALS/MND treatment program gave me back control and hope. we got the treatment from uinehealthcentre. net This is a game changer for peopl
Laura MG 4 months ago
I'm a senior, not terminally ill or have a life altering disorder but I still have an "expiration date" in about 6 months when I lose my housing assistance (SS income is $1050/mo) because I'd rather be dead than homeless.
Undercover 4 months ago (edited)
If you need somebody to talk, just reply. Edit: I won't judge or try to talk you out of it, it's just an offer when anxiety and loneliness get overwhelming. Because society has no place to talk about death
Load More Replies... Midoribird Aoi 4 months ago
I don't disagree; everyone should be able to decide . However, the sheer amount of work that needs to be done so that family members are not charged with murder is oppressive. You have to leave a long paper trail of proof that you alone made the decision and nobody made it for you.
Vanessa Panerosa 4 months ago
It’s just so muddy when it comes to the free will part, unfortunately. A lot of times, if your death is inevitable you may not be of sound mind to make this choice - what I think many of the courts are afraid of - which is why they’re so reticent to comply. Family pets don’t leave wills and inheritances behind. We don’t have to second-guess those motives.
Load More Replies... Hannah Welfare 4 months ago
Sick of BP’s ridiculous censorship of ordinary, inoffensive words like “death”.
Vanessa Panerosa 4 months ago
When she described the trauma caused to her children from watching her decline and not be able to hug them I totally lost it. She really did do this as a last act of parenting. She deserved so much more. If we can’t cure a disease then we have to alow the person their choice either what to do with what’s left.
Scrappychick 4 months ago
In many countries human beings are able to enact a legally binding "Do Not Resuscitate" order which stops medical professionals from performing "heroic measures" when they arrive at an A&E. If you are diagnosed with an illness that will untimely end your life in a slow, debilitating, and/or painful way it is insane to me that people are legally forbidden from ending their life while they are still mentally cognisant in a dignified manner and those who take on that emotional burden could face legal ramifications. The fact that we can take an animal to a veterinarian and have them be peacefully "put to sleep" to avoid their suffering unnecessarily but human beings cant persue that option for themselves is just crazy
KrazyChiMama 4 months ago
I think anyone in the medical field who has cared for the terminally ill secretly wishes we could do more to help.
Cee Cee 4 months ago
Unfortunately not everyone. The assisted dy ing debate has been widely reported here in the UK. Listened to a palliative care doctor arguing against assisted dy ing. Claims it's not necessary and people get excellent palliative care. No they bloody well don't. My biker friend di ed in dreadful pain from cancer.
Load More Replies... MagicJacket 4 months ago
How we leave this world is about the only agency we have. Most everything else is controlled by some entity outside ourselves. The only thing that is TRULY ours is the manner in which we pass away, if we choose to assert that agency. This is why I get SO angry at the thought of someone ending someone else. How f*****g dare they?!!!!!
Sparkle 4 months ago
I took a class in college called death and dying. Long story short death is nothing to fear. We live and die. Why sensor a simple word?
Load More Replies... You May Like “Decency In Public”: Woman’s Viral Rant About “Gross” Activewear Trend Divides Internet "I'm So Mad I Did That": People Regret This Plastic Surgery The Most, Surgeon Explains Why
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