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‘Things We Should Stop Saying To Men’: Illustration About Everyday Toxic Masculinity Goes Viral
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” might sound right, but it ignores the power that words have on our mental health. And every word can be a drop in a bucket already full to the brim with unreachable expectations that can easily overflow.
For International Men’s Day on November 19, The Yellow Club, which fights for accessible and affordable mental healthcare for everyone, shared an illustrated post about what we shouldn’t say to men.
Scroll down and have a look, dear Pandas. We’d love to hear what you think about the advice. So share your thoughts about society’s expectations for men to be unemotional all the time in the comments.
More info: Instagram | Twitter | YellowClub.in
RELATED:
The Yellow Club shared a spot-on post about the things that some people say to men that do more harm than good for their mental health
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
Image credits: yellowclubofficial
The Yellow Club pointed out that they wanted to acknowledge the struggles that men face. Including the unrealistic standards of keeping all of their emotions perfectly in check and having to “suffer in stoic silence” when under pressure.
“Let’s stop asking men to never show emotions, instead let’s ask them how they’re feeling. Let’s treat men as humans. Emotional, prone to mistakes, fear, uncertainty, and yes, humans who are capable and want to, at times, cry,” The Yellow Club suggests that we stop putting men on a pedestal and look at them realistically. Imperfect. Raw. Vulnerable.
Seeing men as human beings takes a lot of weight from their shoulders. They can then open up and be honest about their thoughts and feelings, instead of hiding behind (seemingly) impenetrable suits of (un)emotional armor.
That’s not to say that toughness, grit, fortitude (and whatever else you call the ability to move past failure) aren’t important life skills to have. They are! And they may help pave the way to success, according to research. However, they might not be the only important character features to have, like some argue.
Furthermore, you can’t automatically expect every man out there to be a master of fortitude, a tower of toughness, and an island of perseverance just by virtue of their gender. Being ‘perfect’ is too much pressure and can do more harm than good. Aim for growth, being better every day, and kindness, instead.
Here’s how some Instagram users reacted to The Yellow Club’s illustrated post about the expectations we have for men
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What do you think ?
Al Christensen 5 years ago
Real men don't worry whether they're real men. They worry whether they're good men.
Museo 5 years ago
If you are honest: Unfortunately, not only many men have this "toxic attitude" and expectation of men, but also many women.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Tell people it's okay to be imperfect, to have emotions, etc., regardless of gender/chromosomes. Teach the kids the way to use words instead of fists. We might get a better world. Maybe. I'd like my godsons to have one, that's for sure.
Leo H 5 years ago
How about the constant drumming of these ideas by magazines/ social media. 1. Men cant please women sexually 2. In a divorce the woman is always the better parent. 3. Men cant be abused..look at johney depp 4. Women never lie.
Full Name 5 years ago
Amen. The double standard is hypocritical and irritating.
Load More Replies...
Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
I also have never heard the beard one. As for the things like making the first move or paying for both on a date, these are still really clung to in general. I would refuse to pay for both of us on a date and vice versa. I won't put up with expectations that the man should pay for the woman.
Lili 5 years ago (edited)
Hardly any men in Asia have beard so... a thing of culture? (No problem if they grow one in my opinion) The 'men must pay for dates' aren't that common anymore, I see most people go Dutch nowadays. About 'losing to a girl', well I would personally feel offended if someone is ashamed of losing to me cuz I'm a girl, so it's racism on both sides. I'm not even sure what kind of action is 'like a girl'. Sounds derogatory. The 'men should make the first move' is still true, I think, although I wouldn't mind asking a guy out first. Toxic masculinity or not, why would people think they have the rights to judge what others are doing, as long as it isn't illegal? Men, women, masculinity, feminity, anything in between, anything at all. It's none of their business.
J. F. 5 years ago
I would say it's also genetics that men in asia don't have as much facial hair growth as men in other parts of the world. (Without any judgement on that)
Load More Replies...
N G 5 years ago
Never heard the beard thing. My dad was badly burned on his face, neck and shoulders when he was 19. The skin was damaged enough that hair just doesn't grow there. So he's less of a man because he has scars? Toxic masculinity is weird and inconsistent and so needs to stop. (He tried to grow a moustache once for Movember - it didnt work, it resembled a grey Charlie Chaplin and just made it look like his nose shadow was wider than usual!)
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
No, scars are 'manly' enough to offset no beard. I don't understand *either* viewpoint, frankly.
Load More Replies...
Colin L 5 years ago
Yeah, there seem to be quite a lot of "real man" purity tests out there. Nobody can pass them all... there are 3.5+ billion different ways of being a man.... and anyone telling you otherwise is selling you something that you don't need. I love who I am, but I hate the toxic baggage that we all have to face.
Wolfstar 5 years ago
Where I grew up, there was a lot of this crap being said (except for the "you have a beard" one). "Oh, you lost to a girl? Are you even a guy?" "Man up!" "Psst. Go make your move!" I really hate it whenever I hear things like that. The "men don't cry" and "real men never get hurt" are important to me. Until high school, I had NEVER seen a guy cry. And guys can get hurt, both physically and emotionally. Some people say that they've never really heard these things. I consider you guys lucky. Where I used to live, toxic masculinity was everywhere.
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
The ones saying that about a physical injury are the ones who scream loudest when *they* get hurt, too.
Load More Replies... Al Christensen 5 years ago
Real men don't worry whether they're real men. They worry whether they're good men.
Museo 5 years ago
If you are honest: Unfortunately, not only many men have this "toxic attitude" and expectation of men, but also many women.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Tell people it's okay to be imperfect, to have emotions, etc., regardless of gender/chromosomes. Teach the kids the way to use words instead of fists. We might get a better world. Maybe. I'd like my godsons to have one, that's for sure.
Leo H 5 years ago
How about the constant drumming of these ideas by magazines/ social media. 1. Men cant please women sexually 2. In a divorce the woman is always the better parent. 3. Men cant be abused..look at johney depp 4. Women never lie.
Full Name 5 years ago
Amen. The double standard is hypocritical and irritating.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
I also have never heard the beard one. As for the things like making the first move or paying for both on a date, these are still really clung to in general. I would refuse to pay for both of us on a date and vice versa. I won't put up with expectations that the man should pay for the woman.
Lili 5 years ago (edited)
Hardly any men in Asia have beard so... a thing of culture? (No problem if they grow one in my opinion) The 'men must pay for dates' aren't that common anymore, I see most people go Dutch nowadays. About 'losing to a girl', well I would personally feel offended if someone is ashamed of losing to me cuz I'm a girl, so it's racism on both sides. I'm not even sure what kind of action is 'like a girl'. Sounds derogatory. The 'men should make the first move' is still true, I think, although I wouldn't mind asking a guy out first. Toxic masculinity or not, why would people think they have the rights to judge what others are doing, as long as it isn't illegal? Men, women, masculinity, feminity, anything in between, anything at all. It's none of their business.
J. F. 5 years ago
I would say it's also genetics that men in asia don't have as much facial hair growth as men in other parts of the world. (Without any judgement on that)
Load More Replies... N G 5 years ago
Never heard the beard thing. My dad was badly burned on his face, neck and shoulders when he was 19. The skin was damaged enough that hair just doesn't grow there. So he's less of a man because he has scars? Toxic masculinity is weird and inconsistent and so needs to stop. (He tried to grow a moustache once for Movember - it didnt work, it resembled a grey Charlie Chaplin and just made it look like his nose shadow was wider than usual!)
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
No, scars are 'manly' enough to offset no beard. I don't understand *either* viewpoint, frankly.
Load More Replies... Colin L 5 years ago
Yeah, there seem to be quite a lot of "real man" purity tests out there. Nobody can pass them all... there are 3.5+ billion different ways of being a man.... and anyone telling you otherwise is selling you something that you don't need. I love who I am, but I hate the toxic baggage that we all have to face.
Wolfstar 5 years ago
Where I grew up, there was a lot of this crap being said (except for the "you have a beard" one). "Oh, you lost to a girl? Are you even a guy?" "Man up!" "Psst. Go make your move!" I really hate it whenever I hear things like that. The "men don't cry" and "real men never get hurt" are important to me. Until high school, I had NEVER seen a guy cry. And guys can get hurt, both physically and emotionally. Some people say that they've never really heard these things. I consider you guys lucky. Where I used to live, toxic masculinity was everywhere.
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
The ones saying that about a physical injury are the ones who scream loudest when *they* get hurt, too.
Load More Replies... You May Like “This Man Was A Literal Child”: 76 Times Men Assumed They Knew More Than Women Woman Shows How A Bloody Pad Was The Only Thing That Would Get Men To Stop Following Her
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