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Mom Invites Principal To Go Shopping After Her Daughter Violates School’s Ridiculous Dress Code
School dress codes have been igniting debates between parents, students, and staff for decades, but never more so than in recent years. When Dr. Catherine Pearlman’s daughter was reprimanded at her school for wearing shorts that ‘didn’t come all the way down to her fingertips,’ she decided to write the principal a scathing letter that is now going gloriously viral.
Pearlman, a social worker originally from Long Island, New York, initially published her letter on NBC News’ TODAY Parenting Team community blog, and has already received over 400 upvotes, as well as thousands of likes and shares from other websites. Her daughter, 13 years old, was subjected to a practice adopted by most public schools – banning shorts that aren’t longer than a girl’s fingers. Can we talk about how problematic this is for a second?
As if it isn’t bad enough that girls are more likely to be penalized by the dress code than boys every time, they’re often made to feel responsible for its existence. Baring their shoulders, legs, and midriffs is viewed as a sexual distraction and provocation to male students and teachers, which basically teaches girls that their bodies are inherently sexual objects that must be covered. This mom challenged the system head first, and we just wish we could see the principal’s reaction. Read the entire letter below, and weigh in with your opinion at the end!
RELATED:
This 13-year-old girl was dress-coded by her school for wearing shorts that didn’t come down past her fingertips
Her mom, outraged, decided to pen a scathing open letter to the school principal over the incident
2 days in a row? Seriously? If you think this mama bear was done there, wait til you see what came next…
She decided the best way to address the issue was to write a letter:
That’s right – this beautiful young girl’s body is not a sexual object, no matter what she’s wearing
The well-spoken mom received an outpouring of support from others also fed up with antiquated dress codes
What do you think? Have you or your child ever tangled with the infamous school dress code? Tell us below!
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What do you think ?
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
First of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
varwenea 8 years ago
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's b******t that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Load More Replies...
Katinka Min 8 years ago
The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
Cayman 8 years ago
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Load More Replies...
Captain Planet 8 years ago
This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this r******d order.
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
Load More Replies...
Bob 2.0 8 years ago
Oh god. This is like how in some countries women are forced to wear burkas because men "can't control themselves".
Isa Car 8 years ago
It is the logical consequence. Men can't control themselves, so we women have to cover up. And cover up and cover up and cover up, because - surprise - the lack of control shows up no matter what we wear. Burkas included. And on the other hand, there are (hereto) men who can keep their hands to themselves even when faced with female nudity. Geeee, I wonder if maybe something besides clothing might be responsible ...
Load More Replies...
Stijn V. 8 years ago
i think the mother is right. Except for the body not being a sexual object. For the 13yr old boys it very much is. Which off course is their problem and not the girl's.
Bunzilla 8 years ago
The main problem here, is the attitude towards women and girls, their bodies, and boys' apparent inability to control themselves. This is an incredibly toxic attitude to take, especially towards children. CHILDREN! Instead of telling the girls, 'I'm an adult who sees this teenaged child as a sexual object," they SHOULD be telling the BOYS to RESPECT their female classmates, their boundaries and not to treat them as sexual objects. What a radical concept. Saying the female body is inherently a 'sexual object', is like saying that a five-year old girl shouldn't wear a bathing suit, because it might trigger some man. What in the actual hell. Twisted. Boys don't have 'uncontrollable urges'. Their hormones aren't effecting them any differently than they effect girls. Shocker! Girls get 'urges' too! *gasp!* Except that boys are taught, from a young age, that their wants and needs are more important than a girl's. They aren't taught any self-control.
Load More Replies...
Lister 8 years ago
Were there not tiny little micro shorts given to high school boys by PE departments in the 1970s? Just google "1970s gym shorts" and images are abound. I dont see the big deal, it was ok in the 70s, why are we moving backwards. Boys will go berserk if girls show too much ankle if you make girls wear long skirts. Its hormones period, and humans put things on a pedestal that they dont normally see. Thats why rubies and diamonds ect are better than mica... What is rare is coveted. So if you make a little bit of leg "rare and naughty", of course the teenage boys will oblige. But if we say legs are just normal and everyday, then maybe we can move past this mess.
Ashley Slater 8 years ago
It's interesting how there is so much focus on what girls are wearing to school, but I have clear memories of boys gym classes playing shirts vs. skins... Girls can't show their shoulders/thighs/tummy, but boys can bear it all??
Sierra Hall 8 years ago
I think the first thing to needs addressed is that teenage boys need to be informed on how to control their hormone riddled pubescent bodies. If they are so uncontrollable that teachers and principles everywhere are scared they are going to maul a young girl because she shows her shoulders, maybe they should be separated (and yes I'm being sarcastic). I got told in middle school I wasn't allowed to wear skirts. I was 5'10, the skirt followed dress code but my legs were just too long. I checked before I left the house that morning. So let's start teaching children that our bodies are meant for other things besides sex.
Master Markus 8 years ago
Well, if there literally IS a kid like that, they probably SHOULD and WOULD be separated.
Load More Replies...
tweetybird 8 years ago
at my school we have a really sexist uniform where all of the girls have to wear skirts... a few years ago they allowed girls to wear business pants. so i wore these tight-ish business pants to school and i got reprimanded for it and they told me that i can't wear them because the boys at school can't control themselves... why the hell should we get told not to wear something just because of boys.
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
First of all, she doesn't have exceptionally long arms. Most people's fingertips will come down to that point. However, it is a disgrace that in 2017, there are still archaic rules that degrade females and point the finger at them for reactions in males. I'm a man and I want men/ boys to be educated better about their self-imposed patriarchy.
varwenea 8 years ago
I agree with Tiny Dynamine on both points. Re: body size, I'm a 5'1" female with proportionally smaller body shape, and my finger tips reach mid-thigh. I turn 50 this year, and I don't own a single pair of shorts that would meet this school's requirement! And it's b******t that it's the women's responsibility to cover up. Especially in this example, her daughter is sporty and those are simply the normal outfits for her. BS on top of BS!
Load More Replies... Katinka Min 8 years ago
The PS is what is really enraging me. How DARE a pe-teacher tell a girl not to wear yoga pants because boys 'can't control themselves'. There a lots of countries where boys are expected to get their raging hormones under control because they are humans, not monkeys. And, lo and behold, they actually manage - and with ever increasing time spans as they grow older. The stereotyping of girls is just as f*cked up in this story as the image of boys. The school is doing a great job raising insecure girls and the kind of boys who later claim raping a girl was ok because she was dressed so skimpily they had no choice, really.
Cayman 8 years ago
I 100% agree. I'm a 7th grader, a strait A student in all honors, and I normally have a larger role in the School Musicals. The worst trouble I've gotten in all year was detention after getting ONE DRESS CODE. My bra strap fell loose and stuck out from under my T-shirt. That's right I was wearing pants and a t-shirt. The letter that was sent home to my parents said, "This option of dress is unacceptable, if your daughter gets dress coded two more times, she will get a week's suspension. Many middle school boys get easily distracted, and we need your daughter to cover up." PANTS AND A T-SHIRT.
Load More Replies... Captain Planet 8 years ago
This is a prime example of how america is turning more and more prude and patronising everyday. It astonishes me how much the US worry so much about normal summer shorts/clothes that are too short. And meanwhile guns that can have a direct impact/risk and do so every couple of days are legal. (i.e. Toddler finds dads gun and shoots brother, all the school shootings, Yes so much safer with guns) I gues this is why the US deserves trump if you have your priorities to complain/protest is this r******d order.
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
This is not new at all. You just hear about it more because of social media. I had to meet the same dress code 20 yrs ago.
Load More Replies... Bob 2.0 8 years ago
Oh god. This is like how in some countries women are forced to wear burkas because men "can't control themselves".
Isa Car 8 years ago
It is the logical consequence. Men can't control themselves, so we women have to cover up. And cover up and cover up and cover up, because - surprise - the lack of control shows up no matter what we wear. Burkas included. And on the other hand, there are (hereto) men who can keep their hands to themselves even when faced with female nudity. Geeee, I wonder if maybe something besides clothing might be responsible ...
Load More Replies... Stijn V. 8 years ago
i think the mother is right. Except for the body not being a sexual object. For the 13yr old boys it very much is. Which off course is their problem and not the girl's.
Bunzilla 8 years ago
The main problem here, is the attitude towards women and girls, their bodies, and boys' apparent inability to control themselves. This is an incredibly toxic attitude to take, especially towards children. CHILDREN! Instead of telling the girls, 'I'm an adult who sees this teenaged child as a sexual object," they SHOULD be telling the BOYS to RESPECT their female classmates, their boundaries and not to treat them as sexual objects. What a radical concept. Saying the female body is inherently a 'sexual object', is like saying that a five-year old girl shouldn't wear a bathing suit, because it might trigger some man. What in the actual hell. Twisted. Boys don't have 'uncontrollable urges'. Their hormones aren't effecting them any differently than they effect girls. Shocker! Girls get 'urges' too! *gasp!* Except that boys are taught, from a young age, that their wants and needs are more important than a girl's. They aren't taught any self-control.
Load More Replies... Lister 8 years ago
Were there not tiny little micro shorts given to high school boys by PE departments in the 1970s? Just google "1970s gym shorts" and images are abound. I dont see the big deal, it was ok in the 70s, why are we moving backwards. Boys will go berserk if girls show too much ankle if you make girls wear long skirts. Its hormones period, and humans put things on a pedestal that they dont normally see. Thats why rubies and diamonds ect are better than mica... What is rare is coveted. So if you make a little bit of leg "rare and naughty", of course the teenage boys will oblige. But if we say legs are just normal and everyday, then maybe we can move past this mess.
Ashley Slater 8 years ago
It's interesting how there is so much focus on what girls are wearing to school, but I have clear memories of boys gym classes playing shirts vs. skins... Girls can't show their shoulders/thighs/tummy, but boys can bear it all??
Sierra Hall 8 years ago
I think the first thing to needs addressed is that teenage boys need to be informed on how to control their hormone riddled pubescent bodies. If they are so uncontrollable that teachers and principles everywhere are scared they are going to maul a young girl because she shows her shoulders, maybe they should be separated (and yes I'm being sarcastic). I got told in middle school I wasn't allowed to wear skirts. I was 5'10, the skirt followed dress code but my legs were just too long. I checked before I left the house that morning. So let's start teaching children that our bodies are meant for other things besides sex.
Master Markus 8 years ago
Well, if there literally IS a kid like that, they probably SHOULD and WOULD be separated.
Load More Replies... tweetybird 8 years ago
at my school we have a really sexist uniform where all of the girls have to wear skirts... a few years ago they allowed girls to wear business pants. so i wore these tight-ish business pants to school and i got reprimanded for it and they told me that i can't wear them because the boys at school can't control themselves... why the hell should we get told not to wear something just because of boys.
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