Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
“Grumpy Unstable Teenagers With Severe ADHD”: 58 Wild Animals That Are Not As Adorable As They Look
Cuddling chimpanzees, feeding baby big cats, and getting up close and personal with some of the wildest creatures out there. It sounds like a dream job for many. But those who actually get to live it say there's a lot more to zookeeping than meets the eye.
They've described "demonic little missiles," "filthy little hissing monsters," and "smells that are not worth the cuteness" in a surprising thread that caught the attention of thousands of people, including us here at Bored Panda. The zookeepers were responding to someone asking them, "Which animal is way less fun to care for than most people would expect?" and some of the answers were wild.
We've compiled a list of the most interesting and unexpected responses for you to scroll through from the comfort of your clean, safe couch. We also explore the age-old question of whether zoos are good or bad for animals. You'll find that between the screenshots.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Prairie dogs. Only enclosure that I went into armed (with a broom lol). Those little [jerks] will launch themselves at you like demonic little missiles. And with their labyrinth of tunnels you never know where they will pop up. Most terrifying game of whack-a-mole ever (no I never hit them, the broom was more of a shield or a deterrent).
Are zoos good or bad for animals? It’s a question many have pondered while deciding whether or not to pay a visit to one. And the answer, it seems, isn't as clear cut as some may think. Experts say zoos can be both good and bad.
It’s important to remember that not all zoos are created equal, notes Björn Jóhann Ólafsson, a science writer and journalist for Sentient Media. “While it is easy to imagine animal ethics as a binary of evil and moral, zoos can vary widely on how they treat their animals, how much space they are given and how the animals are obtained,” explains the expert.
RELATED:
#2
I got to chat with the head keeper of the large carnivores at a zoo once. He said that the Black Footed Cat is a vicious little demon. When they clean their enclosure the cats are kept in a holding cage, and they spend the entire time throwing themselves against the door, trying to [end] the keepers. The tigers might hurt you on accident because they're so big, but the teeny little Black Footed Cats know they are Nature's perfect [ending] machines, and will take any chance to remind you.
The American Humane Society (AMS) argues that zoos, wildlife parks, and aquariums play a critical role in connecting people to the natural world, and help to raise awareness of some of the species that are vanishing.
“Simply put: if people don’t care enough about something, then that something will cease to exist,” the AMS site reads. It adds that most people can’t afford to book a safari to the plains of Africa, the jungles of South America, or the tropical forests of Asia.
"However, they can and do visit their local zoos, wildlife parks, and aquariums because it is the best and most economical way to see rare and endangered species from around the world.”
#3
Not a zookeeper but I frequent a local bird of prey sanctuary/conservancy - they have some fish eagles there that will absolutely rip you apart given the opportunity. Every other enclosure is fine, but if you get sent into the fish eagles, you better treat it like a military operation.
The keepers there say they're like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park. They have to go in in groups of 3+. One to actually do the job and 2 more to keep eyes on the birds. Two isn't enough because they'd split up and cause a distraction while the other attacked.
Clever girls.
BlitheSpirit 5 hours ago
The bird looks guilty and the fish looks seriously put out, like he’s been inconvenienced instead of about to be eaten.
According to the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, more than 181 million people visit US zoos and aquariums each year. And AMS has praised zoos for doing a “tremendous job” of preserving many vulnerable species.
However, it’s important to note that AMS is specifically referring to Humane Certified™ zoological facilities. In other words, zoos that prioritize the welfare of animals. AMS explains that unlike self-reported standards or internal reviews, third-party certification means an outside organization has "audited the facility against rigorous, science-based criteria and verified that animals are being treated humanely."
More then 85 zoological facilities across 19 countries have been certified, directly protecting the welfare of nearly 1.1 million animals.
#4
Primate keeper here.
To balance out with a little positivity, I love my gorillas, such an absolute joy to take care of. They are like a bunch of 5 years old that weigh 400lbs but they have so much personality. Even when they aren't listening I love em.
I also love our chimps, I absolutely understand why people don't want to work with them, they are loud, will feign injuries to get you close to fk with you. Spit water at you, throw [feces] but they are amazing animals and are so creative and have more personality then almost any other animal I've met. They are all so unique in a way that's hard to explain.
Literally smaller monkey species are a nightmare though, so fast and cunning, if they don't have great training it can be impossible to get them cooperate with the exception of species like the Pygmy Marmosets and Saki Monkeys. They are just all vibes.
Shout out to lemurs though, they just wanna eat and sunbathe. Love those guys.
#5
Zebras. People think they’re just funky striped horses, but they are pure, unadulterated malice. They are notoriously bad-tempered, impossible to truly tame, and kick with enough force to shatter bones just because they feel like it.
SweetperterderFries:
Was once told by a zookeeper, 'if a zebra likes you, they'll bite you. If they don't like you, they'll bite you harder.'
Daisydaisy 4 hours ago
I commented to a zookeeper once about how enchanting the zebras were. She said "They're lovely to look at, but they're not very nice people"!
This is where things get murky… Not all zoos prioritize the welfare of animals. In fact, there are many that don’t.
A report from World Animal Protection reveals that three quarters of zoos include human-animal interactions. This can cause major stress for animals and even physically hurt them. “In some extreme cases, visitors rode on the backs of animals (causing injury) or encroached on the animals’ enclosure (causing stress),” says Ólafsson.
The expert goes on to argue that zoos are for people, and not for animals. “Most zoos are for-profit enterprises, meaning they have one goal in mind: maximizing revenue,” he explains. ”It is easy to see how making more money can come at the expense of animal welfare.”
#6
I once got to do an encounter with chimpanzees, and one of the braver ones came up and sat right next to me, putting his arm around me and rubbing my back. When I was walking out, the keeper noticed that chimp had smeared his [feces] all over my back.
Ólafsson says while it’s true that many zookeepers form real bonds with their animal companions, the animals still exist under a for-profit, human-centered organization. He also reveals that some animals in zoos are born in captivity, but others are captured and brought in.
“Many animals are taken directly from the wild, often when they are babies, to make the transition to captivity a bit easier,” the expert writes. “At times, this is done in the name of conservation, or when a wild animal is very ill. But many zoos will take animals from the wild, or buy animals from unethical animal traders.”
#7
Hyaenas are a pain. They’re a lot of fun, but also really smart and [don't care] about ‘behaving’ (because they aren’t domesticated animals). They’ll find a way to escape and cause chaos because they’re bored, and occasionally will try to end you, also because they’re bored.
Most animals don’t belong in zoos, but hyaenas REALLY don’t belong in zoos. I did enjoy working with them though. Rarely a dull moment!
#8
Penguins. People think it's all cuteness and waddling, but nobody tells you about the smell. It’s like rotting fish mixed with hot asphalt, and they shoot liquid with terrifying sniper-like accuracy. I’ve lost two good pairs of boots to a penguin that held a personal grudge against me.
Roman Arendt 5 hours ago
But was the grudge justified? What did You do? We need an AITA about this.
Ólafsson also takes issue with the size of enclosures at many zoos, saying they are far too small, especially for animal species that are used to roaming, flying or swimming large distances in the wild.
For example, he explains, “polar bears are used to home ranges of about 1,000 square kilometers in the wild — large swaths of land and ice they enjoy exploring. In zoos, they get a couple hundred square feet.”
#9
River otters
I love them but + for me.
Pair the ultra-fast matabolism of a creature that eats 25% of its body mass in raw fish every day with superpowered ferret-like scent glands, and you get an animal that's real efficient at turning fish into goopy piles of fish [goo] and spreading it everywhere to help mark territory.
The American Humane Society agrees that animals in quality facilities should have space to move, explore, rest and socialize with members of their own species.
“Enclosures should reflect an animal’s natural habitat as closely as possible, with access to shade, shelter, clean water and varied terrain,” it adds, noting that the animals must be able to carry out their natural behaviors like foraging, climbing, swimming or problem-solving.
#10
Great apes, but especially the chimps. Forget the fact that they are terrifyingly strong and dangerous. You’d think an animal that intelligent would at least move away from their resting spot before taking a hot dump but noooo. They reek like the strongest human B.O. you could imagine. Major risk for zoonosis because they are so closely related to us. They are on the short list of animals I would never apply to work with. They are fun to watch… from far away.
#11
Not a zookeeper, but worked at a wildlife facility for a while.
Koalas are surprisingly annoying. The males are loud, super stinky and the smell stays on you for ages.
They're super finicky, stupid and particular, they literally will starve if you just hand them them the only leaves they eat (eucalyptus)
The branches need to be lashed to the pole they climb on so they recognise it as food otherwise they will literally starve.Their [feces are] super rancid too.
Also you can literally catch chlamydia from them.
Their claws friggin hurt. And they will just climb on you like you're a tree.
But they are soft. And they will nap on you. Which is cute for like two minutes but man they are heavy.
Also not very surprising but special mention for the saltwater crocodile, Goliath. He was about 5 meters long. Specialised tank. Needed 5 keepers to clean his tank/ enclosure Three to manoeuvre him (with poles, you hold them near him and he will lash out and snap at them, and will follow the poles) to one side of the enclosure. Then they have to keep him there and get out, one at a time (without being bitten in half or losing an arm) and they put the (surprisingly flimsy) fence up between the sections. And two keepers clean the tank/enclosure as fast as humanly possibly while one keeper keeps the literal dinosaur from mauling them. Then they get out asap, remove the fence, and go change their pants (lol).
They only ever cleaned one side at a time. And was about every two weeks.
The lead keeper was missing a few fingers.
On the plus side, I got to keep some of his teeth (they lose them constantly, and they collect them when they clean)
Unlikely favourite was a red tailed cockatoo, super sweet, loved to sit on your shoulder and play with ears (loved earrings) and was surprisingly gentle and affectionate.
David Paterson 4 hours ago
"Koalas. They literally will starve if you just hand them them the only leaves they eat (eucalyptus)". Yep. Like sloths but with less intelligence.
#12
Zoo keepers often hate pandas.
They say it's like they have no self preservation instincts.
Lopsided_Hat_835:
Pandas. One of my best friends is a zoo keeper the zoo he worked at had 2 Pandas on loan from china for 2 years his main job became looking after them, I told him I was so jealous I thought he had the best job in the world. He told me sure they were cute but you get over that once you realize what a nightmare they are to look after because of how stupid they are. It almost drove him insane over the course of two years. He was so happy when they left and this guy loves most animals but not Pandas!
All of these points are valid reasons not to visit certain zoos. And to only support those that are certified or proven to put animal welfare first.
“Facilities committed to humane treatment welcome questions. Staff should be willing to explain veterinary protocols, dietary programs, enrichment schedules and how they measure animal well-being," says the AMS team.
"Public reporting on animal births, transfers, medical care and mortality is another strong signal," they reveal. "Facilities that restrict access to this information or discourage visitor inquiry warrant closer scrutiny."
#13
I asked a Zookeeper this exact question once and without thinking or missing a beat said the Chimpanzees. Apparrently these [jerks] are grumpy unstable teenagers with severe ADHD. They will act all cute an needy untill you let your guard down and they will bite or rip off your fingers in an instant. Even chimps you have cared for since birth is someday going to challenge you for YOUR spot on their imaginary social ladder and will try to [end] you for it. No other animal at the zoo was even remotely as despiced as the chimps, and handlers are eighter quitting within a year or they have a deathwish attitude.
Granted this was one zookeeper, but i could tell she was serious.
#14
Not a zoo keeper but I worked in wildlife rehabilitation and people think raccoons are cute. Let me tell you. Filthy little hissing monsters. Getting them into a crate to transport for release….Jimothy would [beat] you up.
Elladine DesIsles 5 hours ago
Here in Toronto, raccoon population density can reach 100 animals per square kilometer in some areas. I've been around them all of my life, and I do love them. They are super cute, the way they waddle when they walk and bounce when they run; their stripey tails, bandit masks and fingered hands. They are also incredibly smart, capable of defeating every "animal proof" garbage bin we've come up with in a matter of days, often using complex strategy and cooperation. As fascinating and adorable as they undeniably are, though, they can also be extremely viscious. I regularly hear them fighting in and around my backyard or the community garbage bins, typically around 3AM, and the sound will haunt your dreams. Their growls, hisses and screams would make a perfect slasher film soundtrack. You do not want to get on a raccoon's bad side!
#15
Former zookeeper. (Though I only worked the petting zoo area)
For me it was alpacas. Super cute. Super soft. Super easy to clean up after. But they never, ever want to be friends with you no matter how much you feed them. They hate being touched. They try to hump you if they're male. No amount of trying to tame them will ever get them past aloof indifference.
Maybe it was some missed socialization window when they were babies, but all three of them wanted nothing to do with anyone.
Every other farm critter from rabbits to chickens to cows was more personable.
Whether or not you choose to visit a zoo is entirely up to you but we would urge that you take ethics and animal welfare into account when choosing which facilities to support.
For Kate, the founder of Green Eco-Friend, it only makes sense for zoos that rehabilitate wildlife and protect endangered species to exist. However. the eco-warrior believes that it would be far better "if they were to become wildlife sanctuaries and they stopped buying and selling animals."
#16
Did animal care in an accredited zoo for a few years part time. I worked mostly with reptiles and birds of prey. I had the privilege of caring for a young male kangaroo during a few months of shifts while he was being kept in that unit. It was the most unnecessarily confrontational creature I've ever had to deal with. Straight jerk.
alphaboydl:
Kangaroo. People think cute but they’re basically muscular, moody toodlers with knives on their feet. And they will try to fight you during feeding time
#17
We raised ostriches (briefly) on our farm when I was growing up. They are literally the most stupid and vile creatures on Earth. They have a giant velociraptor claw on each foot that looks like it can tear you right down the middle.
I had to feed them after school every day. 7-foot tall demon birds still haunt my dreams.
Gizmo-516:
I worked at a little zoo for one summer in college. We had lions, tigers, leopards, tamarins, spider monkeys, zebra, elk, lynx, bobcats, camels and ostrich. The ostrich was the single most terrifying creature I've ever encountered. We had to clean the pen daily and he would try to attack us. The last time we hid behind a tree and barely escaped. We told the boss who told us to stop being such girls about it and promptly went into the pen himself. Where he got kicked by the demon bird and his leg was broken. He never made us clean the pen again, though.
Kate believes that there are many zoos that should be shut down immediately. "As far as I’m concerned the majority of ‘good zoos’ still need to make massive improvements to their facilities," she says, adding that a zoo's major function should not be to make money for its owner. "The profits from ticket prices should go toward increasing animal welfare standards and increasing enclosure sizes," she writes.
"What we should be doing is protecting the habitats of wild animals and ensuring their survival in the wild," argues the Green Eco-Friend site. "Until people around the world care more about life than money I’m afraid there’s little chance of certain species surviving without a helping hand from zoos."
#18
Any of the bigs cats (I worked with cheetahs and lions) the smell of their [feces] is just horrendous. Sometimes I’d be gagging picking it up. Their diet of raw meat causes this. I heard similar sentiment about the bears.
Also there was a hornbill in the giraffe yard. It was actually the worst animal I’ve ever met. Pure, total evil. Would follow me around and sneak up on me and peck at my [bottom] (have you seen those beaks) as I was cleaning. So okay, I’ll walk sideways or backwards right? To keep an eye on him? He’d stay a bit further back but if you look away for a SECOND, now you have a baseball sized bruise on your thigh.
#19
Giraffes—they're the idiots of the animal kingdom. In zoos, their only pastime is figuring out how to [harm] themselves or each other in the dumbest way possible.
Dr. James Borrell, a biodiversity scientist, conservationist and science communicator has mixed feelings about zoos. He says while he's "very happy to advocate good zoos, and only good zoos from a conservation perspective," that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement.
In a blog post titled, The 5 Strongest Arguments Against Zoos, Borrell responds to the cons of zoos, some of which he agrees with. Like Kate, the expert admits that he'd like to see more spent on overseas conservation of the species zoos exhibit.
"At the same time, I’d like to see a much clearer link between the two," he says. "Visiting a zoo should support conservation not just in captivity, but in the wild – and it should be crystal clear. That’s the aspiration."
#20
Dolphins. Agressive and capable of causing great bodily harm in and out of the water.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
If I was cooped up in a zoo I would be irritable as well.
#21
Not a zookeeper, my family worked with wildlife rehabs and exotic animal rescues since we had a farm.
Emus. They will [mess] you up. Yeah they look cool out in a field or something and the babies are precious, but if you piss them off once, they’ll remember you and lock in any time they see you! We had one stay with us that I swear was trying to figure out where I slept at night. All I did was move his big ole head over while trying to get a goat loose from the fence and since that day, he’d charge me any chance he got.
We rehabbed the big birds mostly and vultures are still my favorite. Yes, they smell like deceased things, but they’re so cool up close.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
They won a war - twice - against Australia. That ought to tell you something.
#22
My personal least favourite was red pandas. Don't get me wrong, they're so cute. Beautiful creatures. But my god they [defecate] so much. It's equal parts unreasonable and impressive that so much can come out of an animal that size in 24 hours.
However, at the end of the day, Borrell agrees that if you want to experience the true magic of the animal kingdom, and can afford it, it's way better to visit animals in their natural environment.
"If you want to see the biggest most exciting mammals, then you really should go to the wild – your experience would be all the richer for it," Borrell writes. "Put it this way, would you rather see a caged tiger a dozen times in your life, or just once, wild, after a long arduous journey in the breathtakingly beautiful Ranthambore wetlands with the birds singing and sun setting. I know which I’d choose."
#23
Not a zookeeper per se, but wildlife rehab volunteer.
Corvids are awesome. But also they present risks that common pet birds don't - specifically a little nip from a parakeet or even a big parrot could hurt or break the skin. Because of their diet, even a friendly but overly-excited nip from a crow is an immediate concern for infection because of their higher protein diet that includes mammal meat, and beaks that are less than self-cleaning.
Lots of folks dream of having a crow or raven friend, and that is honestly possible to have a rewarding relationship, but beyond a long-lived perpetual toddler that can fly and bite, you've got a real risk of needing medical treatment for simple scratches from playtime.
#24
Everyone thinks seals are cute sea puppies, they smell worse than you can possible imagine.
#25
I volunteered with a big cat rescue that also had a bunch of wolf hybrids. I loved the tigers, respected that the lions had a strange and predatory intelligence, and dealt with the cougars acting like pissy overgrown house cats. The wolf dogs were genuinely scary.
I don’t know if it’s the uncanny factor where most of them looked like dogs with odd proportions, or the fact that they had the same kind of predatory intelligence as the lions but with more obvious malice, or just the simple fact that they varied from eerily calm to snarling and howling when they were judging you. It was always unnervingly obvious that no matter what they looked like these were not dogs. Most of them came from less than suitable homes before the rescue and they did not trust or accept new people easily. They DID require a double fenced and super secure enclosure, though, after one of the roaming dogs on the property (it was out in the boonies, dogs got dumped and ended up living at the rescue all the time) was brutally mauled through the fence.
Wolf dogs are not dogs. Wolf dogs are not pets. Wolf dogs are genetic time [explosives] with internal conflicting instincts that make them unbelievably dangerous. And before anyone tries to come back with some nonsense anecdote about their friends uncles wolf dogs who was the best dog they ever had; either it wasn’t a wolf dog (statistics on the genetic testing of wolf hybrids in homes shows that these are typically some kind of shepherd or husky mix mislabeled and sold at a wild premium), that person got unspeakably lucky, or the whole story is made up. Wolf dogs do not belong in people’s homes.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
When my younger sister was 5 or 6 she was running across our front yard playing and the neighbour's wolf-cross-dog ("Kazan," of course) got excited and bit her in the face, just missing her eye.
#26
Not a zookeeper but speaking as someone who’s rescued and dealt with a wide variety of exotic pets, I’ll always say sugar gliders. They market them as cute, sweet, naturally scentless, this and that. No. They are LOUD, getting them to like you is some sort of ritual where is you misstep in the slightest it’s game over, they have a really specific diet, they bite SO hard like a tiny cat mouth with more bite force than you’d imagine, and the smell HORRID.
#27
Hippos look goofy and chill in photos but they’re aggressive tanks that produce more manure than you can shovel in a lifetime.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
And I believe they defecate in a whirlwind manner to spread their manure all over the place.
#28
Ex-keeper. Any primates. Did not care for them at all. Too effing clever, they could be bullies (mostly to each other), and you've gotta be seriously conscientious of transmitting diseases back and forth. Like sociopath children who were often vastly stronger than you. Coolest I worked with, though - Tapirs.
#29
Ex zoo volunteer. Lemurs in walk-through enclosures will [urinate] on your head if you're not careful, and male ringtails really like to look you in the eye while spanking it.
#30
Former zookeeper.
I would say any of the primates or monkeys but more specifically Baboons.
They live for destruction, the episode of the Simpsons where Ned ends up in a Baboon enclosure is 100% accurate.
They are just total [jerks] with no redeeming qualities.
I once watched as the alpha female and her cronies stole a baby of one of the low ranking females and proceeded to rip it apart in front of her. Just evil.
Female Emus are raging [jerks] who will attack with zero provocation.
On a more personal level there was this one specific Burmese Python call Princess who had a personal vendetta against me, she hated people, but wanted me [gone] in particular.
She was dumped outside the gates in a wheelie bin that had been duck taped shut, with the word Snake on the front. So she had every right to be angry with the world.
Then again the only animal to hospitalise me other than falling of horses was a Ferret.
snickthehedge:
Baboons, a lot of people don’t know the difference between larger primates and their temperaments so they assume they can be “gentle giants” a la gorilla or orangutan. No, the hamadryas baboon society is built on violence and we frequently come in to them having beat the [hell] out of each other overnight, they threaten you and visitors through the glass, not to mention that smell lol!
#31
Obligatory not a zookeeper, but work at a wildlife hospital. Hedgehogs are little [jerks]. They look all cute, and they're hugely popular among the public here in the UK, but they're demons.
Not only do they curl into a ball and make it impossible to do anything, but they huff, hiss and twitch, jerking their spines towards you in an effort to impale you. And as if that wasn't enough, they bite, too. And when they bite, they latch on and curl into a ball, taking your fingers with them. They then won't let go for 15 minutes.
I worked in the nurseries one year. Pretty much all baby animals start out as your best friend, it's only when they get older that they become wild. Baby hedgehogs are the same, but each group has one [jerk] who was just Born Different. From the time it's a little pink jellybean, it hates you and everyone you love. You try and give it milk, it puffs up and hisses at you. They will starve themselves just to spite god.
They're also disgusting. Most other animals that pass through the emergency room, you can't really tell they've been there unless they're gushing blood all over the floor. But hedgehogs? All they have to do is touch a surface and that surface is disgusting.
And I once saw a hedgehog swimming in its food bowl. Not sitting in it, straight up paddling.
#32
Not a zookeeper but I work as a zoo educator so I know first hand stories. Just throwing an animal species in here that is less fun not because they are crazy, aggressive or dirty but they are just so easily scared and you would not expect it. Drumroll... it's the cinereous vulture. These birds are huge, have strong beaks, rip apart carcasses in the wild. But in the zoo they are scared of EVERYTHING. If we introduce a new food item, they will not eat it. If you dare to cut the plants, they will cower in a corner. Honestly it's actually kind of funny and cute. But it can be a challenge to care for them and give them variety. Neophobia is their middle name.
#33
Orangutans. I have my college degree in Physical Anthropology. I was so excited to work with any primate so when I was out with orangutans, I was thrilled. That lasted about 1 day. Females are highly competitive and see human females as a threat. No thanks.
#34
I’ve worked with elephants, camels, and a llama (not a zookeeper). The elephants were super chill, and the llama was a giant jerks who only tolerated me if I had soft pretzel pieces to give him. The camels though, they were giant loves and definitely my favorites. And no, they never spit on me, but anytime I’d have to groom the llama, he’d spit and try to stomp on my feet.
David Paterson 3 hours ago
(Not a zookeeper) From what I've heard, encountering an un-neutered male camel in breeding season is something you don't want to experience.
#35
Sloths. An animal adapted to barely move and defecate as rarely as possible- instead they save all up for an entire week. There are no words to describe how horrid that mixture smells when they finally meander down and make it happen. Literally eye watering and gag inducing.
AdvisorTotal404:
Sloths are surprisingly high maintenance, they need a lot of specific care and food to keep them happy and healthy.
#36
I worked summers at my local zoo as a teenager, and I made friends with a few of the zookeepers.
My favourite was the pachyderms, elephants in particular, I got to help hose them down and clean their enclosure. Enormous, quite smelly... and *glorious* creatures. So clever, gentle and I swear they had a sense of humour. It's true they never forget, I came back many years later and they all remembered me.
I loved the red pandas. They just looked like cuddly toys and were very chill.
The cheetahs liked to chase my golf cart with their food on it from behind the fence, they acted like giant puppies.
The worst we're the hippos. They were permanently cranky and are kind of gross. We had a special 'code red' announcement if one was ever to escape. (Fortunately that never happened.)
#37
Beavers. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE them. They are so interesting, their dam building skills are often innate so they do so many cool behaviors to observe, and they have the cutest little hands. They make adorable little grunting noises when they eat.
They are also 50+ pound rodents who are built to haul LOGS. They are basically little bulldozers, so good luck pushing a beaver anywhere it doesn't want to go. Their teeth are reinforced with iron - if they can chew through a tree, imagine the damage they can do to your squishy human calves.
I worked with a female who was hand raised. 80% of the time she was a wittle baby. The other 20% she was a hormonal nightmare who would chase you around the exhibit to keep you away from the den. Nothing worked a a deterrent because she could just push right through it or grab and drag it. She loved exactly one keeper and hated another one to the point where that person couldn't even go into the enclosure any more for her own safety.
They also stink.
#38
Former wildlife rehabber, Loons. There is a reason they are called that. Absolutely filled with crazy.
#39
Green Iguanas. Moody, manic, messy, mean and in the case of the latter, over-dramatic.
"OMG YOU SNEEZED I'M GOING TO TAIL WHIP YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL!" but also, "Ooh, hey, a strawberry!" (YEETS self onto your chest like a spring-loaded cinder block)
Miss ya', Slimer.
#40
My girlfriend, who was a zoo keeper at the time, told me about how she was savagely attacked by a swan. I laughingly brought it up at a party, and none of the zookeepers laughed. One nodded, and simply said, 'yes you should fear swans.'.
#41
My cousin worked at an aquarium and swore octopuses were the biggest divas. constantly escaping, flooding their tanks, dismantling equipment for fun. they'd look her in the eye while doing it too. smartest little jerks she ever met, zero respect for the concept of captivity.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
I hope someday they stop using octopuses as food - they are just so smart.
#42
Wife went to LSU and was friends with one of the veterinary students that raised the new mascot. He said it was fun playing with the tiger cub like it was a kitten -- until the day that the half grown tiger came up behind him and knocked him down. Then it tuned into " yeah, he could [end] me any time he chose to.".
#43
Worked as an aviculturist (I specialized in exotic birds) for a few years. Someone mentioned penguins already, but I’ll say flamingos simply because of all the birds I cared for, their bite hurt the most. Think: viper strike capability but with a heavy beak and since their mouths don’t open too wide they take a tiny chunk of skin with them when withdrawing, like a very deep paper cut into muscle. It’s not super visible but it hurts soooo much.
Temperaments of flamingos vary of course, but breeding season was a consistently fun time when they’re protecting their mud nests.
#44
Was a volunteer and there was one particular vulture that was such a [jerk]. Raking his enclosure or cleaning his water bowl was always a 2 person job. One cleaning as fast as they possibly could and the other defending them by fending off a evil vulture with a broom.
Also one time a staff member didn't run fast enough during a feeding demonstration and the little [jekr] reached and bit them in that tiny unprotected gap between their shorts and Wellington boots. Apparently the hospital staff were rather bemused when they told them why they needed a tetanus shot.
#45
Zookeeper who has worked with plenty of different animals. Only one I don't want to ever work with again are squirrel monkeys (and really all monkeys by extension). Smelly and smartly vicious.
We had been watching a bird nest nearby that hatched and we were happy for the baby birds. The fledglings unfortunately landed on the squirrel monkey habitat and were ripped apart :/.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
When I was young I had a friend whose mother was an animal hoarder. She had one of these monkeys in the house in a little diaper. I can't tell you the number of animals they had in their suburban middle class home - I can remember 12 cats, 4 or 5 dogs, 8 tanks of fish, the squirrel monkey, a chinchilla, a goat in the backyard, and several exotic birds. I heard later that they had to condemn the house. Sad for all involved, but specifically for the animals.
#46
Former zookeeper
Baboons 0 stars do not recommend. I used to work at a zoo that was a drive through experience. All the trucks were supposed to be checked before entering, especially if they had a built in tool box in the cab. Was supposed to be locked. The most terrifying experience of my life having a troop of baboons with tools running around. Took us weeks to get all the tools back because they were smart enough to hide them and hide them well each evening before they went inside.
Also any smaller cat. They are not the top of their respective food chains so they are incredibly viscous.
#47
Honestly shocked that I've only seen one mention of cassowaries in this entire thread. Unless they're just not kept in zoos very much because nobody wants to actually try to work with the modern-day dinosaurs.
David Paterson 2 hours ago (edited)
Not a zookeeper but I've hand fed zoo cassowaries several times. Cassowaries are the gentlest most patient most considerate birds ever. Fearsome looking but ever so gentle. Gentler than emus, brolgas, geese, ducks, swans, pigeons, coots, corvids, parrots of all sorts AND sparrows.
#48
I work in marine conservation, so penguins for me were the worst. They're a bio hazard, and just generally disgusting, fish goo producing [jerks] that hurt when they're nipping you.
However, I did a rotation working with howler monkeys and capuchins at a rehab centre, and you have to be on your guard 24/7 with those little [jerks]. My mate who did rotation with me, ended up with 32 stitches after a howler bit his head because he got too close to me once and they can be very possessive. Also had to strip down to just overalls when entering the capuchin enclosure, because they'd steal whatever they could off you, used to wear a tight elastic band on my glasses as they'd try to rip them off my face.
#50
Not a zoo keeper but worked in an exotic pet store that worked very closely with the zoo when I was a teenager.
Iguanas are the worst. They bite and they use their tails like whips. The worst thing is that people believed that dumb idea that they would only grow to the size of their cage. Inevitably they become 6 foot long 20 lb demons from hell. I had so many welts from them every time I had to clean up.
On the snake front people always talked about how big Burmese pythons were and to be careful but I never really had a problem with them. African Rock Pythons in the other hand were just as big and absolutely the meanest sons of biscuits I’d ever encountered. I remember one woman I worked with had one grab and wrap her arm and it wrapped itself around a huge log it was resting on and it was one of the scarier things because she had been on a stool (I can’t remember exactly why) but she just kind of dangled until we were able to get the emergency whiskey in it’s mouth to make it let go.
The ones I hated the most were Tokay Geckos. They would always escape and hide in the places you least expected them. They had jaws like a vice, teeth like broken glass, and you’d put your hand in a cupboard and come out with a gecko attached to it and you’d be bleeding like a stuck pig.
These days I am a professional magician (who does not work with animals) and my hands appear on camera a lot and all of the scars on my fingers are from those Tokay Geckos.
#51
Not a zookeeper but was a volunteer wildlife assistant for a summer.
THE SKUNKS.
we had special cleaning supply on hand just in case and we kept all the skunk ridden clothing in a separate area 🫠
going in to feed them was like stepping into a potential minefield.
#53
I work with a lot of birds, including parrots (some of whom are rescues) and man they can be such a pain. They are loud yes, but also extremely smart and they love using that intelligence to be particularly stubborn. They're really good at doing stupid things like breaking stuff (including your fingers), tearing holes in your shirts and sometimes they can be menaces to other parrots and yourself. Little demons...
Now some parrots are amazing but working with 50 of them for some basic training can drive you crazy.
#54
According to almost every marine keeper thread on here, Otters or Dolphins. People think they are cute, joyful, and wholesome. In reality, they can be incredibly aggressive, highly calculating, and exhibit some of the most dark, territorial behaviors in the animal kingdom. Keepers have to be on extreme alert around them.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago
If I were a dolphin kept in a zoo or aquarium I would be a little pissy as well.
#55
Red-tailed hawk, constantly screaming and diving at my head because I came within 10,000m of their nestbox.
Multa Nocte (she/her/8647) 4 hours ago (edited)
They are just protecting their family and home.
#56
Been a Zookeeper for 15 years, working with Ectotherms (reptiles/amphibians) and aquatic animals during that time. There are a lot of animals in that group that are a pain to work with, but my least favorite are the ones where you can do everything possible, and they might pass for no obvious reason. So some corals, seahorses, freshwater mussels, other molluscs, some other fish, some terrestrial invertebrates, and others.
#58
Not me personally, but when I was in my early teens, I was friendly with a number of the handlers that worked in a private zoo with a tram-ride where you could feed the exotic animals. They had all sorts of interesting animals like ostriches, camels, gazelles, caribou, pronghorn, zebras and even a few White Rhinos.
They also had a homicidally insane giraffe who would go out of its way to hurt other animals and people. He started out friendly, was raised by the staff, but once he was 1-2 years old, became a monster and started to deliberately injure goats, pigs and other animals he was originally housed with so he wouldn't feel lonely. They had stories of him waiting until these animals were drinking water and then stomp their heads into the trough for no reason. Then he started slamming keepers against walls or just kicking them for no reason. They figured he was possibly stressed out without a female, so they were able to get a second female giraffe to be his mate. He mated with her and seemed to calm down for a while, but then once the calf was born, immediately tried to end his own daughter and then injured his mate. That was it for him, they moved him to the back paddock and he stayed there until he passed away. The mate and calf recovered and ended up being sweethearts. Visitors could hand-feed them and they were a big hit with schools and for birthday celebrations.
I remember them saying that it's like that Simpson's episode, some animals are just jerks.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Roman Arendt 4 hours ago
Most OPs sound like whiny little b-words and they probably shouldn't be near animals in the first place. And I'd urge BP to get us the other sides of these stories! This alone is no journalism.
Roman Arendt 4 hours ago
Most OPs sound like whiny little b-words and they probably shouldn't be near animals in the first place. And I'd urge BP to get us the other sides of these stories! This alone is no journalism.
Related on Bored Panda
