In the olden days, well, about 20 or so years ago, shopping used to be very simple - you go to that one store, find two versions of a thing that you're looking for and buy the one that you like better. Easy peasy - no need to rely on some strangers' reviews, no need to compare between hundreds of versions of the same thing for sale and you can touch the object with your own hands before buying it. Sure, online shopping saves you the trip, but sometimes if you want to buy a pen, the Internet might throw thousands of pens for you to choose from. Time conserving? I don't think so! Also, there's always the temptation to see just what oddities you can buy online, and browsing deep into the Internets might carry you away into a sleepless night. So, to save you from a red-eyed day at work and to feed your curiosity, we've gathered a list of the worst, the weirdest and the most unexpected things to buy online.
Even if you consider yourself a hardened Internet surfer, these weird things might still raise your brow if not both of them. An urn with a glittery unicorn, a tungsten metal sphere that, as advertised, does nothing for measly 249 dollars and scented duct tape that you so desperately need is just the tip of the iceberg of these oddities. No, we are not saying that these are useless things, but most of them are either made for an uber specific task or fails to do the one thing they're destined for completely. Of course, these sellers are playing it smart catering the needs of their unique-minded clients, because if there's at least some demand, why not make a fortune out of it, right?
Well, we aren't convinced that anybody is making millions selling the weird stuff from this list, but hey, at least they're something fresh for our I've-seen-it-all eyes. So scroll down below for an Amazon freakshow and don't forget to vote for the worst things for sale!
More info: The Worst Things For Sale
For the men who want to sparkle in their own way.
I Believe In Broccoli
When there's nothing else left to believe in...
Crocheted Nose Warmer
Always wanted to gaze into the distance dreamily, but your ever-cold nose would never let you do it? Eliminate this problem with a crocheted nose warmer in the shape of 'soft kitty' forever!
Evil Unicorn Horn For Your Cat
If your cat wasn't heinous enough, you can now Evilcornize it! Just an inflatable horn away from a trip to ER.
Always hitting that back wall when parking in your garage? Then this parking guide is what you need! And for only about 10 dollars you get a uniquely colored, orange tennis ball (because the neon yellow ones are surely less visible) and a string! Ingenious!
Boxing Tennis Ball
Tennis balls and strings add up to many amazing combinations - this one definitely doesn't leave you with a bruise on your forehead. Definitely!
Rasta Dog Costume
Well, yeah, that...
Everybody loves pancakes and waffles and now you can combine them in one pan and get neither!
Lets you carry your prized slice wherever you go!
With this finger stylus you can finally control both your phone and your tablet with a finger. What a relief!
Scented Duct Tape
The real question here is why there isn't a duck-scented duct tape yet? Meanwhile, you can use this orange cream scented one for packing your boxes.
Honey, we need to talk about the horse in the room.
No, these ear blinders do not work as a shield for BS - they are the least elegant non-electrical hearing aid!
An enchanted urn for when you smoked too much weed dealing with your grief.
Listed as a 'toy' this banana surpriser lets you fill your bananas with, let's say, more bananas!
Shittens - Mittens For Your Poop
A groundbreaking solution for those unsatisfied with plain old TP - now you can really up your handiwork game.
A Tungsten Metal Sphere
A metal sphere that does absolutely nothing for 249 dollars? Where can I get one?!
Machine-washable, air dry potatoes that cost as much as 40 pounds of real ones? It surely cannot get any better! Bonus points for wearing the orange net as a fashion statement bag.
Slam Dunk Bathroom Basketball
Look at the man's eyes while playing poosketball. He is having so. much. fun.
Now you can both run and slide down the hills (not at the same time)! Hopefully, you're not very fond of your front teeth.
Subtle Butt Gas Neutralizers
This product will supposedly let you blow your horns at peace and discreetly, but it turns out this carbon filter isn't so powerful against your monoxide.
Facebook Shower Curtain
Now you cannot escape the power social media even in your private shower time! How great!
Scrolling LED Badge For Hats
Nothing screams "I'm a tourist" more, than a blinking HOLA on your forehead!
If you want to feel closer to The Earth, why not trying some Earthworm jerky! The reviews, though, state that it's the worst worm jerky they've ever tried.
Squishy Beer Cups
Sure they're unbreakable, sure they're expensive, but these cups have something that no other on the market has - you can squeeze them and spill your beer everywhere!
Vibrating Nose Clip
This gadget supposedly shapes your nose according to your wishes. Proving its legitimacy there are two reviews - one saying that it's 'Excelente' and another saying 'It doesn't work at all.' Choose wisely!
Fried Chicken iPhone Case
Oh no, this isn't your regular picture iPhone case - it's a life-size piece of fried chicken glued to the back of your phone that works as a kick stand, too!
Made from balsam fir wood, this is a Weather Stick. What does it do? Well, it tells you what the weather is doing, of course!
Advertising your Aquatic Treadmill while not underwater might not be the best idea, but adding a picture of facepalming it sure adds some charm.
Finally you can turn your iPhone into a pen with this earphone jack accessory; about the damn time!
Only premium Idaho potatoes are used for the Potato Message!
Talking Donald Trump TP Roll
It sure will make your private time great again!
Prancercise The Book
Turning hoof-beats into heart-beats, you can re-invent yourself as a horse with these ingenious prancercises. Horses are majestic and you can be, too!
A plastic stick, that smells like REAL wood for dogs that's only 9 dollars? Sign me up, because I was so bored with picking a new one for free every day.
Zits Ewww Pimples
If finding yourself polka-dotted every morning wasn't enough...
Grandma's Georgia White Dirt
Though marked as inedible, most reviews state that the crunchiness is amazing and it doesn't taste that bad. And for only 10 bucks you can get your own sandwich bag full of (in)edible pet rocks, too!
Petchup, Muttstard And Mutt-N-Aise
The holy trinity of condiments your dog just couldn't live without!
There's no way you can get pickle brine cheaper, right?
Before the invention of selfie stick, people used to velcro their phones onto poles and trees and now you can, too!
Power Energy Toothpaste
As great as it might sound, this paste has so little caffeine in it that there's no way it could energize you as a good old cuppa joe. On the other hand, who wouldn't want to be addicted to brushing teeth?
Donald Trump Scented Candle
Now you can hate Mr. President even more by lighting a sun tan lotion and steak smelling candle, while gently caressing the added toupee.
Original Chef Clown Artwork
For only 8,888.88$ this...thing could be yours!
Male With Beard Hairdressing Mannequin
Practicing your trimming techniques with this beard-equin is surely full of surprises!
Now you can spell your name with high-res photos of firearms, shotguns and bullets. Freedom for all!
Senior Woman With Asthma Wall Decal
You thought you'd never need it and yet, you are checking your bank balance now, right?