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People Still Remember How Their Moms Were Cruel Enough To Say These 50 Things To Them
Interview With Expert
We come into this world expecting love from the people who brought us into it. But sometimes, that love turns out to be conditional, distant—or even harmful.
One woman on TikTok asked others to share the most toxic thing their mothers have ever said to them, and the replies show just how deep those wounds can run.
Read their stories below, and if something resonates, the comment section is open for whatever you need to say.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
my mom accused me and my dad sleeping together when I was around 14 cause she was convinced he was cheating. I havent really been the same since..
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#2
She basically said that no one would ever love me and that I would die alone, I was a teenager
#3
Told my mom my stepdad was s*xually a**sing me and she told me “It wasn’t like that” “he didn’t mean it that way”
As a woman navigating life in a world full of challenges, your mother is often one of your first role models. She’s usually the person who shows you how to relate to others, how to behave in society, and what love, care, or connection is supposed to look like. So when that person treats you with cruelty or only offers love conditionally, it can shape your entire sense of self.
To understand just how deep that impact can go, Bored Panda spoke with Carly Boyle, an inner child specialist who offers one-on-one therapy.
“Emotionally hurtful comments made by a mother during childhood can have a lasting impact that extends far beyond the moment they are spoken,” Boyle explains.
“From birth to around age seven, children are in what is known as the imprinting stage. During this time, they are forming core beliefs about themselves, their relationships, and the world around them. A mother’s words carry immense weight during these years, and what she repeatedly says—or doesn’t say—can become deeply embedded in the child’s subconscious.”
#4
I was exhausted and grieving after birthing and losing my daughter at 21 weeks, she mocked me cuz I didn’t feel like coming down to lunch. My husband made her and my dad leave our house the next day.
#5
I was bringing my first boyfriend to meet my parents. My mom asked, "Aren't you worried that he might fall in love with your sister, since she's so much slimmer and prettier than you?"
#6
“Do you know no one has phoned to ask how I am?” This is what she said after I told her I had cancer.
While many people associate lasting emotional damage with more visible forms of trauma, such as physical or sexual assault, Boyle points out that trauma isn’t always about what happened, it’s also about what didn’t.
“The absence of nurturing words, encouragement, or emotional attunement can shape a child’s sense of worth just as much as overt criticism or rejection. Silence, emotional distance, or dismissiveness can leave a child feeling unseen, unimportant, or not good enough,” she says.
#8
when my parents found out my ex bf had recently cheated on me, her first words were "was the other girl skinny?" even my dad was appalled.
#9
She kicked me out at 18. At 31 she said "you should ask for more help, it's not healthy to do everything on your own." you made me a homeless teen. trusting people is not easy for me now 🤯
#10
Accused me of being pregnant every time I got bloated (i had undiagnosed celiac’s disease) at age 12 and my entire teenage years
#11
she said I was diagnosed autistic when I was 10 and just didn't tell me because she didn't want me to use it as an excuse when I struggled. She told me this at 21.
#13
left me alone in a store after i threw a tantrum at 4yo while telling everyone: "whoever wants her can have her, I don't want her anymore" she proudly tells that story every year
#14
Reminded my mum of a time she hit me over something trivial and she replied with “I’d never do such a thing, I’ve never layed my hands ever on you, you must be making fake memories in your head.
#15
forced me to have an abortion due to my age at home then while recovering we went for a walk saw a newborn and I quote she said " I can't wait to be a nana" . while I was going through said abortion
#17
When I was 15, my mom discovered a box full of pictures of me…that my step dad had been taking of me without my knowledge. She had me move out to live with my dad. And is still with him to this day 🥰
#18
after my dad died she dragged me around by my hair, slammed my head off the kitchen counter, and then said "I wish your dad was still here he'd be so disappointed in you". because I was outed
#20
my puppy got hit by a car in front of me when i was 14 and i was self harming in those years and my mum said 'you better not cut yourself over this' as we stood next to his flattened corpse
#21
"She goes or I go!" To my dad. She wanted him to kick me out of the house because she didn't think I appreciated Disneyland enough. I did appreciate it. I'm disabled and was in pain.
#22
Telling her I miscarried at 14weeks pregnancy: "I just gave everyone cake in the office announcing I'm going to be a grandma. How awful, I'm not going to be a grandma. What am I going to tell them?!"
#23
Told me repeatedly that I was fat and ugly. Now I have horrible body issues and don't know how to take a compliment without being awkward
#24
when I was PREGNANT she said once I have a child of my own i will finally know all the misery she's dealt with and all the horrible things I've caused her
#25
“The love a parent is supposed to feel for their child, I don’t feel that for you.” Literally the last time I spoke with her. Cruel and awful.
#26
I was 7. My sister was 5 and admitted to hospital for the flu. I was scared. I went to hug my mom. She pushed me away and said “I don’t do hugs”. I was 7. And scared for my sister. 😩
#27
"I could've given birth to you in Italy and left you in the hospital so no-one at home would've even found out I was ever pregnant, so be grateful i didn't."
#29
She told me I looked really great cause I lost weight, then I told her about my eating disorder and how I wasn’t doing well, and she responded: “Well, whatever works!” 😐
#30
"I don't want your stepfather to adopt you, because I don't want another woman having his family name"
#31
She taught my toddler brother(that was from her affair) to call me a disgusting fat pig when I was a teen. She taught a baby that I helped raise and shared a bedroom with, to a***e me.
#32
When my dad clocked my scars from self harming and started to ask me about them my mum said ‘ignore her she’s just attention seeking’ at that point aged 13 I knew I was on my own
#33
Where do I start when I was 17 I did 1 semester of school abroad,over the phone I told her I miss her cooking. when I got back she made this delicious stew,asked her what it was and she said w a smirk "Dolly in the pot"-Dolly was my pet bunny
#34
when I was 7 she packed all my stuff into garbage bags, tossed them outside the front door and locked me out while yelling she wished she aborted me and I was a mistake, it was pouring rain too 💁🏼♀
#35
I had to have a hysterectomy because I had uterine cancer and she said that was gods way of punishing me!
#36
Called me a “hypocritical, manipulative b****” on my 22nd bday because I wanted to spend the day with my dad, not drive her around to flooring stores.
#37
Said to me, “You’re a spoiled brat,” at the age of 40 when I bought a Louis Vuitton. (I’m married, own a home, employed, etc. and bought myself a new purse for my bday.)
#38
After my Nan passed away - ‘I don’t know what you’re crying about, it’s not like she’s your mother’ ahhhhh she kinda was because you were off having affairs for majority of my childhood 🤔
#39
"what happened to the NICE little girl you used to be?" "if you keep going like that, you'll need Blacks of Greenock to make you a wedding dress" (they make tents)
#40
My mom drew me a chart to explaining how every person in the fam disliked/hated me. According to her,the 2 ppl that didn’t hate me “didn’t count”bc “1 liked every1”& the other 1 “didn’t see me enough”
#41
"You are not my daughter anymore", because I was home late. By 5 min. Driving back home from a millitary prep exercise for beeing deployed. So I packed up my s**t and left. That was 13y ago.
#42
I had told my social worker that I felt really bad bc my mom had a s-attempt. When my mom found out she said: “well, you definately don’t give me a will to live” 😅
#43
we'd never been close but I'd agreed on a day trip with her. we walked past a bridal shop and randomly she just goes "I don't think you'll ever get married". I was barely 20yrs old...
#44
I was 15. She said “you’re just jealous I have more of a life than you” during an argument, right after I’d cried to her about how depressed school was making me and how I felt like I had nobody.
#45
She always called me a pig for how much I ate so I stopped eating. I told her years after I recovered from my ED, she said “I told you you ate badly”. Logic goes out the window with the woman🙃
#46
My mom got me fired from my first job bc I got grounded for accidentally shrinking her sweaters, took my phone away & wouldn’t let me call in, so they fired me. She then degraded me for getting fired.
#47
told me she only had me because she wanted to have two kids, to not have a spoiled only child. then proceeds to only care for my sibling anyway making him spoiled and me severely neglected
#48
I wanted to stay at my mum’s the night I had my second miscarriage, me and my ex stayed and I kept crying and my mum told me to stop crying because she was trying to watch tv
#49
My ex attacked me 15 months after I broke up with him and it was really, really bad. After I escaped I called her from the police station and the first things she said was that it was my fault. He's now serving a 20 year prison sentence for multiple felonies and the closest she's come to apologizing is saying she didn't know how bad it was at the time.
#50
After going back to school in my 40’s to get a degree in Mortuary Science, mother dearest decided to snarl her face and say “guess living people aren’t good enough for you, huh? That’s gross.”
#51
“Well go find a family that loves you then” “Do it properly next time not just for attention” “I’ll give you something to cry about” “I love you because I have to but I don’t like you” “
#52
“No wonder your ex didn’t want you.” She said this because I hadn’t put my laundry away within 10 mins 😂😂
#53
back in highschool I found out a colleague has leukemia and I was home crying; mom comes to me and says: oh do not cry, leukemia is not transmissible
#54
When I had gastritis and became severely underweight, she told me I look like I've just come out of a concentration camp. Another time she said I lost so much weight I was 'nearly attractive'.
#55
“Nah.. Just leave her, it’ll pass”… after school called that they wanted to call an ambulance after they thought I had a seizure….she was right about that one.: still alive
#56
My mum told me I couldn't go to my brothers passing out parade as there were limited 2 tickets per family. I found out the next day, my WHOLE family was there. Both parents and my 3 other siblings. 💔
#57
the thing that haunts me the most, is legit 3sec after waking up at the hospital 3 days after trying to not exsist anymore, she looked me dead in the eyes and said 'you're not getting away that easy'
#58
I was moving in with a guy friend and she hated that. She said "If anything happens to you, you're on your own." I'm a survivor of csa. I was on my own then too. My bf died suddenly 6 months ago and
I'm on my own now too.
#59
mine explicitly told me word by word that she only loves me bc im her child and that if she met me outside of this dynamic she'd probably hate me... haha
#60
she would actually say ‘i don’t like that outfit’, then continue to shred to pieces the new clothes i bought with my own money
#61
I held my moms hand in parking lot of store when I was about 10 ish and she told me to stop because people will think we’re gay
#62
I had a fight with my mom, she completely ignored me for a week.. like completely also did not get any food etc etc…. I’m in therapy now 🙂
#63
She told me how I could get kidnapped, tortured and would be a missing person in great detail.. when I was 7 and we had a fight about my HOMEWORK😒
#64
has repeatedly told me that “we” can’t pull certain items of clothing off and protected all of her insecurities onto me and now I also don’t get my legs out bc “i can’t”.
#65
my mom told me if i ever have kids, they’ll die under my care b/c i’m irresponsible. 27. no kids yet. my mom cries to other ppl saying that she wants to b a gma…. i haven’t decided if i want any.
#66
Started failing high school. Told me I’d be nothing more than a maid. Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD and struggled academically as a result.
#67
‘Has your psychologist called back yet to tell you they got your diagnoses wrong and you don’t have BPD?’ No mom, it’s been 2,5 years… you can stop asking.
#68
"This is why you were such a loner". uummm, excuse me?! you pulled me out of public schooling and sheltered me from normal society.
#69
"u always ruin everything" in middle of my panic attack. "ur just too sensitive" when i told abt bullying i experienced in elementary school :))) sm more but cant fit them all here
#70
she called me a slur when I was 12 cuz I had put on some lip gloss and asked if I could play outside 🤷♀️
#71
I have a recording of her saying she didn’t even want my brothers and they were a mistake. Also, I begged and cried to her one night to just be my mom and love me and she just stood there blank faced
#72
broke student - at 19 suffering from severe and anxiety and depression. uni therapist said it would help to see a psychiatrist. got the courage to tell them and mom said "you think you have problems"
#73
at 10 watching a survival tv reality show she said "look how those people lose weight you should do this" out of nowhere in front of my family I wasn't fat
#74
Hadn't seen me for a whole month, when she saw me again the first thing that came out wasn't a "hi" or "I missed you" but "you've put on weight" 👍
#75
That I would keep a dirty house and no one would ever want to come and now I can’t relax in my house until it’s clean and tidy even though no one ever comes round unexpectedly
#76
She didn’t like my college bf. Didn’t like I wouldn’t break up with him because she said so. Then told me “he’ll probably beat you and you’d be the type that stays”. I married him.
#77
Not what she said but more what she hasn’t said. Whenever me or my sister say „I love you“ she not once said it back
#78
I got to therapy because of her. I am 32 and in the past year she told me: 1. that i should leave my daughter with her because I am not a good mom 💀
#80
My husband had depression when we first got together, then my brother started dating his girlfriend who has EDS, our mum said ‘why can’t either of you date someone normal’
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Lyone Fein 10 months ago (edited)
I can personally relate to many of these. That is why I tried to respond to so many. My mother is very narcissistic and has never been a warm person. During my childhood she would frequently say things like she wished I was never born, etc. She has always been very emotionally manipulative as well. I am 62 now, and I have only recently decided to stop interacting with her. I have mixed feelings about this because she is so old (83) and somewhat losing her mind to the beginnings of dementia. But I just don’t want to spend any more of my life trying to please her, or explain or talk her down or justify myself, etc. It is always so stressful and exhausting, and I always end up crying. I want to be done with that. I want my next 20 years to be peaceful and self affirming.
amy lee 10 months ago
Mine has recently become sick and everyone seems to expect me to get back in contact to "do what's right". I'm finding it really hard to not feel torn even though I know getting in touch would be like revisiting my childhood.
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Brian Droste 10 months ago
I read down through 20 of these. Can't read anymore of these. These are horrible. I feel for all of OP's.
Lyone Fein 10 months ago (edited)
I can personally relate to many of these. That is why I tried to respond to so many. My mother is very narcissistic and has never been a warm person. During my childhood she would frequently say things like she wished I was never born, etc. She has always been very emotionally manipulative as well. I am 62 now, and I have only recently decided to stop interacting with her. I have mixed feelings about this because she is so old (83) and somewhat losing her mind to the beginnings of dementia. But I just don’t want to spend any more of my life trying to please her, or explain or talk her down or justify myself, etc. It is always so stressful and exhausting, and I always end up crying. I want to be done with that. I want my next 20 years to be peaceful and self affirming.
amy lee 10 months ago
Mine has recently become sick and everyone seems to expect me to get back in contact to "do what's right". I'm finding it really hard to not feel torn even though I know getting in touch would be like revisiting my childhood.
Load More Replies... Brian Droste 10 months ago
I read down through 20 of these. Can't read anymore of these. These are horrible. I feel for all of OP's.
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