One of the benefits of having a kid is you get to name them. That way, you can honor your grandad, pay your respects to the artist who has inspired you, or... show the world you're a bit weird.
A month ago, Reddit user Hasden2007 asked other users on the platform, "What is the worst name you could give a child?" Turns out, there's no shortage of those.
So far, the post has received over 4.7K replies. From Strawberry Rain to Chastity, here are some of the most upvoted ones.
This post may include affiliate links.
Jack Cass, I know it’s bad because it’s my name
Jack: Good evening officer. Cop: What’s your name, son? Jack: Jack Cass. Officer: The f**k you just say to me? Jack: (aside) oh s**t, not again
Load More Replies...
Do you have a friend named Mike Hunt by chance..? But seriously, I am sorry your parents were dingbats.
My goodness, I berated my parents just for saddling me with the initials L E G. You poor chap....
Load More Replies...
Someone downvote that guy's parents. OMG. Horrible thing to do to a kid.
I know of a Swedish guy named Nils Nopp. The problem is when you say it at normal speed in Swedish it sounds like Nils Snopp which means Nils' d**k. So when he introduces himself he says 'Hi I'm Nils......Nopp'. The awkward pause really only accentuates the problem.
I went to high school with a guy named D**k Butts. Seriously. Then there was the woman in one of my university classes named Amanda Bedgood. Again, seriously. I'm not Bart Simpson making a prank phone call.
Went to school with Audrey Bridget Hind. Middle initial...
Load More Replies...
I LOVE this name! No one will ever forget it and by now all the jokes have rolled off your back.
Funny names like that must be hysterical for about the first week. But after that the joke gets pretty stale, and the kids is stuck with it for the rest of his life.
Your parent must have been very word innocent..but you have a unique name for sure..
Whats the problem with this name? I am from Germany. For me the name sounds quite normal...?
said at a normal speed it sounds like you're saying jack a**
Load More Replies...
I know a girl called Christmas Sass. When you think about it, no other first name would have been less unfortunate with a last name like that.
Also, there's a commercial in Australia advertising a milk drink. The theme is about "Drinking it Through" as in " Thinking it Through". The name is Callum Murray (calamari = squid). It's hilarious! https://dailycommercials.com/dare-iced-coffee-callum-murray/
Load More Replies...
Not John? Really? Worse than having a bad name, everyone presumes your parents must've hated you!
Hi name is Jack. Some people are named Maggie, not Margaret, Fred not Frederick, Bobby no Robert, and so on.
Load More Replies...
My coworker named her baby "Strawberry Rain", which would be a great name if she had given birth to a bottle of shampoo
I know a family with 4 kids: Prince, Princess, Precious, and Becca. The Becca at the end kills me lol
I have heard of many bad names, but Sex Fruit is probably the worst I have seen.
Princess. A girl in my high school was legally named princess but she went by her middle name. There was also a girl who’s name was Sunny Day and she was the emo kid
With a name like Sunny Day, you're doomed to be the emo kid.
Mystic Pigeon? She was a client at my office.
Apparently it’s a real surname and her parents were hippies so named her “Mystic”. Like who’s ever going to take her seriously??
How about not giving your child a name? There was a kid I went to high school with whose legal first name was "Unnamed Baby Boy". I don't know the story behind that though.
My mum once worked at a school and there was a kid called "Thank God".
That kid must be like "I don't thank God for giving me this name"
theres a british chef, jamie oliver, who named his children the following:
poppy honey rosie
petal blossom rainbow
buddy bear maurice
daisy boo pamela
river rocket blue dallas someone call childline
I worked in Nigeria for a while and had a co-worker called Thank God Limejuice. It wasn’t a windup. That was his actual name
Some amazing names in Nigeria and they totally make them work and sound cool. Just think of the ex-President, Goodluck Jonathan..
When I worked at chick-fil-a way back in the day, I was taking this girl's order and it time time to ask for her name, she was being very hesitant. So I was just waiting for a reply until her mom says "Sorry she's shy!!" looks me in the eyes with a smile and tells me "Her name is Thankful!" ....poor child
North West
I'm waiting for her to put out a perfume called "North" just to hear the commercial, "North by Northwest"
Peter File
Pridges Pancakes. He changed it to Richard Johnson.
But Olympic skier Anna Banana kept her name.
I actually went to school with a guy named Richard Rash. To make it worse his mother was a teacher there
A friend of a friend was named ‘Forsheeza Jolly Goodfellow’ before she had it changed. Can’t even imagine having to deal with that at school
That's something you'd suggest as a joke, but following through is just cruel.
I read a story once about triplets that were named Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Please dont do that
Abcde (pronounce ab-city)
That was the poor girl who caused an incident at an airport, because the employees could not believe this was her actual name. They laughed at the name and the mother shamed them for laughing at her poor child, when in truth in was her fault for giving her child a ridiculous name like that.
Blanket
Seen it all. Met a woman named Anal. Pronounced "Ah-nuhl". I had a friend named Cleopatra. And had a relative named Sextus but he just was called "Uncle Sex". Even heard of one called Merlin!
Went to school with a girl named Candace Barbara Machine. Candy Bar Machine!
Satan.
Well, unless of course you want them to be a lawyer when they grow up, in which case it might to a good marketing ploy.
Some girl I knew named her daughter Tru Love, I still can’t get over that bizarre combination
Chastity
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Here in Germany, there a rules for giving your child a name. Most importantly, the name must not be ridiculous, because that causes emotional damages. So when you go to the registry office, they can forbid you to use certain names. Those people saved a lot of children from a very bad childhood!
Sometimes I think: why are there so many regulations in my country? And than I see this and see: because.
Load More Replies...
My test for baby names was always to put titles in front of them, like Doctor, Judge, Ambassador, Senator, President. (Yeah, very ambitious about offspring.) If the name fits and doesn’t clash with such respected titles, it went on the list. If it sounded ridiculous, it was tossed out right away.
Same here. I've always referred to this as the "Chief Justice" test. So many people give their kid names that are cutesy as a small child, but they're only children for a small part of their lives. Then they're a 40 year old district manager named Princess.
Load More Replies...
My country doesn't allow names that ridicule the person, BUT being a spanish speaking country, the amount of poorly spelled foreign names is astonishing. Sad thing is one of the worse things this country excells at is being snobbish, so if you have a name that's considered ridiculous or "low class", you're instantly discriminated against. Thankfully that's changing with newer generations, but it's still a thing. Also, there's a big difference between being original and creative, and not being able to understand your kid might be scarred for life if you choose a name that will get them bullied and ridiculed. On a side note: who TF names their kid SEX FRUIT? It's wrong on SO many levels!
We have this in Germany too. If you name your child Kevin or Chantalle, everyone will think they come from a trashy family and that they are stupid.
Load More Replies...
I would name my kid Evil Genius. Its a good indicator that I probably shouldn't have kids.
I don't know, might work nicely with the last name "Monster" at least.
Load More Replies...
This is so stupid. Children are not your dolls, they're real living people who are going to be adults one day and live whole lives just like you. I believe don't name your kid something you wouldn't want to be called yourself.
My submissions: Moon Unit Zappa and a kid I went to school with, Richard Head. He did NOT go by the nickname "D**k."
Ιs this ridiculous thing happening anywhere else besides the US? Also, why would they deliberately give their children psychological issues? I get they want to stand out but c'mon... Normalize being normal!!
What goes through these people's minds when they think of a baby name?? Like, you could name your child "Noelle" but you want something unique so you'd choose "jkmno" WHY??
I lived in Portugal for 6 years. Almost every girl has Maria in her name somewhere. Many names are still so ultra-Catholic. Things like Maria de Deus (Mary of God), Maria da Luz (Mary from Heaven) Conceição (Conception, FFS), Maria José for girls and José Maria for boys. Portugal, let it go, please.
The top 2 I know are a woman named Blanca, last name Pintado (white painted), she happened to marry a man with the last name Amarillo, so she was Blanca Pintado de Amarillo (white, painted yellow). The other case is about a set of twins, one named Mara and the other Dona... Can you gess what country they're from? ;)
Pretty sure the question here isn't "What were the parents thinking" but instead, "Were the parents thinking?"
Some of these are pretty objectively dreadful. Peter File, Tequila and Sex Fruit for example. But some of these entries are a bit mean spirited and overly judgemental, are Mystic and Strawberry really that bad?
What kind of person names their kid sex fruit, though? It disturbs me on so many levels... The rest I don't mind, though some just make me feel bad for the kids who get bullied because of their names.
Load More Replies... This is the reason most countries put limits of what people can name their child. No child should have to suffer a name like "Sex Fruit".
I used to teach Sunday School. Had a boy there named Left-tenant. A lady at work was the eleventh child, her mother named her Ma-11. Not a joke. I saw her ID. Another guy was named Doctor, he was not a doctor. I live in South Africa, so it's a daily occurrence to meet someone with a name different from the norm.
My son's pediatrician told me when he did his year for the state, a new mother named her child Dilate. English words for names is a common place in South Africa. Names like, Beauty, Welcome, Beginning etc.
Load More Replies...
In his book, Trevor Noah talks about knowing a guy named Hitler in South Africa. The parents and the kid didn't understand who Hitler was- they just liked the name. Hannibal Burress complains that people give him a hard time about his first name but he was named BEFORE The Silence of the Lambs.
If your reading this I hope you have a great day and know. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV
Some of these names only sound bad because they are in a language you understand. Benjamin and Joseph have no real meaning in English, but would you name a child "Son of the right hand" or "he adds"? The Old Testament asserts that these were the meanings of Benjamin and Joseph in the language of the time, and the names were given based on the circumstances of their births.
I thought about naming my second baby girl Libelle which is the Dutch word for dragonfly. But it's also the name of a Dutch magazine.
Not only a magazine... So much more, including Lord if you spell it like libel.
Load More Replies... 
I had a student (of immigrant parents) named Tes Tekkle. Say it aloud.
While shopping one day, I overheard a woman calling to her three children: Destiny, Karma, and Fate.
I'm guessing first kid planned, second kid conceived while drunk, third kid an accident LOL
Load More Replies...
Just to share a couple from my life, I grew up with a Don Duck, and no I am not super old this is from a time when the world knew who Donald Duck was. My personal favorite though is I had a friend whose dad was named Stan Still
My mother attended school with a boy named Donald Duck.
Load More Replies...
i knew a girl named "Nazmoki" who was the daughter of an immigrant to the US. She was alone in the hospital when she had her baby, and still feeling the effects of the epidural. they asked her for a name while she was out of it and she read the "no smoking" sign with a thick accent.
I had a patient once who was an African lady and she married an Irishman. Her name was Baby Fiddler. Thank goodness o saw the band before I saw the patient because it took me about ten minutes to stop laughing.
I have always had a lot of cats. I usually name favorite human names like Nicholas and Louie and Johanna. I would never name a cat something more odd than Bandit.
I have a 14 page list I'm always adding to of stupid names kids are given, as well as a funny first and last name combinations. Like "Harry Beavers", "Harry Aenus", "River Moats", "Bear Trapp", "Brick Price", "Rusty Hamner", "One Winter", "Ona Bible", "Georgia Eagle", "Fern Forest", "Rowdy Negro" (white guy, real name), "Peter Gozinya", "Dusty Rhodes", "Little Saulsberry", "Pringle Peeples", etc. Parents can be so cruel, but at the same time, it's the kid's fault for not changing their name later in life.
Knew a guy who named his daughter Crystal Meredith. I later found out he was addicted to meth, and wanted to name his kid after his favorite thing in the world.
I know a person whose name includes a number. I'm not going to name her, but imagine if your parents named you Ja5eson (and pronounced it "Ja-five-eh-son"). That's not her name, but it's about the same thing. She had a brother named Kyle, which was spelled normally, but I think should have been spelled "Xle".
I worked with two sisters who were named Jeruzalem and Bethlehem... We called them Jerry and Beth though! And I know a kid whose name is Storm, and got diagnosed with ADHD...
We named our son Charles Xavier. My husband wanted Charles after his best friend and we couldn’t think of any other middle name that fit.
I have a friend who's parents surnaame was Puller and named him Richard (D*ck for short).
Indian names A**l... pronounced un-al.. Fortunate Fernandes.. tough child birth... Afaq... pronounced a-faak Achyut... if u know what a "chuth " is Viral.. pronounced vee-
I've know some people with strange names. Rainbow - Parents were hippies. Tuesday - parents allowed their 3 year old to name her. Barbie- not that strange of a name except it was a boy. Chlamydia - Spelled differently but pronounced the same.
One of my dads cousins just has a baby and they named the baby "Fields" Not even kidding, Fields. I think all of her kids names are from the bible or something? one is Psalm (i think thats how its spelled) One is Harvest, and the other one i dont remember.
I do hope that's not a girl though. She's going to get so bullied :(
Load More Replies...
Working for a non-profit that works with children I saw my fair share: 1. SHMILY - So Help Me I Love You 2. Latrina 3. Moms name was Xerox and she named her son Canon 4. Shithead pronounced Sha-Theed 5. Twins - Mercedes & Lexus
Went to school with a "Rainbow Summersky"... parents may have been hippies (this was the 1980s). Also went to school with a girl named Ta-Tanasha, which sounds awesome in some ways, but she got called "Ta-Tas" a lot
I went to school with a Holly Berry, and worked with a Mike Hunt. Also worked with a company that had a call centre in the Philippines, a lot used different names instead because their real names were things like bubbles, Princess etc. My family still make fun of my cousin's son's name, when he said it was TJ we all asked what it stood for, nope his name is TeeJay.
Somebody (possibly Kim K.) talked Kanye out of re-naming himself Christian Billionaire Genius. Here in the U.S., you can name your kid anything, and I'm honestly good with that. I definitely feel sorry for some kids, but at least you can change it or try to get a good nickname.
I loved the name Liam before it became annoyingly popular (thanks Mr. Hemsworth). I still named my oldest Liam even though it makes me look like I'm trying to be trendy. My favorite boy name was actually Ira, but my husband vetoed it. By the time I was pregnant with our second, my husband was over being married and officially didn't care what I named the kid, so I got my Ira after all.
i worked in a division of family law/family support in which we got birth certificates for children of clients. two i remember were 'remember remember' and 'reason reason'. not twins, either.
The best i heard was while working in landscaping I hear a mother yell "Sierra Mist get in the car now." This was after the soda existed. I'm suprised Frank Zappa's Children did not make the list Ahmet, Dwizzle, Moon Unit. And Diva Muffin.
Kids named Karen, Katrina and Kim (KKK anyone, alliteration is fine but not with that letter three times). Crystal Dawn and her sister Sherry. Stormi and her daughter Raven (before the show). Thaddeus (yes he was as tiresome as his name). Peaches (classmate of mine).
My son's name was a last minute thing. We first chose Harry after my grandfather but hearing it all the time killed it for us. One evening my wife suggested the name we gave him as we both love it and we were not hearing it out and about. Soon as he was born all we heard was his name everywhere and it is now in the top 5 names in the UK
Know a couple who named their twin boys "Neil" & "Young". I have really no idea where this could come from... ;-)
I wanted to market a version of the I ❤ NY t-shirt as I love Neil Young, but there's no way I'd get the rights.
Load More Replies... 
Three girls, last one a surprise... Candy.... Sugar... and Nova. Last name Caine
I know a Strawberry Rain. She's only seven and prefers to go by the name Sarah. It was the daughter of a woman I worked with and she always wanted a girl to name Strawberry Rain. I also knew a woman who named her daughter Jersey Belle and while I'm normally like "that's a nice name" I couldn't even excuse myself before laughing. I felt so bad but all I could think was that's a good name for a cow. I've met a girl name Harley and I couldn't believe it, but her husband refused to budge on it. I know a Hazel Wren, which personally I love but a lot of people hated.
I knew a family who had 3 sons who were named after archangels, Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. And a daughter they named Magdalena after Maria Magdalena. Then they had another son. They named him Angel. I always thought that was a bit weird. I guess they ran out of archangel names. 🤔
Another fabulous example of parents taking the very existence of their child/children and making it all about them. Will it ever stop?
I worked at an elementary school, where a kindergarten teacher pointed out the name on a child's desk. Pronounced sha- fah-say. Parents spelled it Shitface.
Before the internet, I've gone to school with kids names Bambi, Charity, Hope, Chastity, Faith, Forest, Domain, Patience, & none of them lived up to their names.
A friend had a child in her classroom during her student teaching experience named Vrolet because she was born in a Chevrolet
The times I have had people think it's a hoax call, when I report broken fences and escaped livestock, or a fire.....my name I. Care. Stupid parents. Could be far worse though...Iona Macintosh
There's a girl in my class called Cotton white and a boy called Ramen 💀
How about Shasta Orange? I used to work for a company that collected medical and legal records for attorneys and that was legitimately the name on all of the legal documents... I still laugh every time I see the soda at the store...(－‸ლ) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My brother legally gave his son the middle name "Trouble" so he can say Trouble is my middle name. Bit far for a joke, especially since my nephew is very shy and autistic so I don't think he'll ever embrace the joke, but at least it's only a middle name. (my nephew does like his middle name, I just don't think he'll have the confident swagger to go with the joke but I could be surprised. He's only 8 after all)
Yep, my son’s cousin’s middle name is Danger. They did it just so he could say Danger is my middle name. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies... 
A band I was in had a drummer named Mike Kok. Frank Zappa named his kids Dweezil and Moon Unit.
Someone needs to inform these parents, this is not the way to make your child feel special.
The US would be hard-pressed to have naming rules, since we have people from all over the world. Who are we to tell someone they can’t give their child their grandfather’s traditional Chinese or Nigerian name, just because it is “unusual” from an Anglocentric point of view? Of course this leads to people being able to name their kids “Braden Mountain Dew Magnum” or whatever, but there’s a price for everything.
My hometown has a plumber. He has 2 kids. Their names? Sinke and Draine.
I used to work with a guy called Joseph King. Known as Joe. He got an internal call once from somebody who spotted his name on the company directory and called him to say "Haha, your name is Joe-king" and put the phone down.
1) Gasoline Coffee - explained that her parents were “illiterate hicks.” 2) A. Harry D**k - junior high shop teacher. Gotta hand it to him, when he wrote his name on the board and we all started chuckling, he said, “I know why you’re laughing. Doesn’t bother me.” The laughing stopped pretty quickly. 3) Mr. and Mrs. Sippy - she thought it was cute, he rolled his eyes. Grumpy old man. 4) Grandma Daugschitz. 5) And a woman named “Rene”. Seems normal enough. Then I called her re-nay, and she snapped, “It’s REEN! It’s pronounced REEN!” Yeah, your parents may have told you that, but they were wrong.
There is a family on YOu-Tube ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-PepfX4nM19zhdgEn3o5kg )who has 10 children who are named Leonardo, Cleopatra, Jerusalem, Romeo, D'Artagnan, Shakespeare, Nefrititi, King James, Aphrodite & Omega. Their middle names are equally fascinating.
I worked in a hotel and met a woman named Dorcas Weatherhead, an elderly British man named D**k Holder, and a gentleman named D**k Painter. I worked at a law firm and saw the name Penny Million on a file. And I knew a woman whose father had a commune and he changed the family's last name to Israel. All of the kids were named after virtues, but given a regular middle name in case they didn't want to go by their first name. Her name was Lovely, but she had siblings named Strength, Power, and Clean. The worst kid's name I have come across is Athel. It just sounds like Asshole with a lisp.
I went to high school with a guy whose last name was O'Boyle. His first name was Lance. Poor bastard.
I know someone who didn't know they were pregnant until they went into labor in the shower so they named the baby No Wonder. Also know someone who named their son Humming because their last name is Bird. Humming Bird. I'm not kidding.
Most of these are exactly why some countries have to approve your child's name before you can give it to them. Several years ago in New Zealand there was a child whose parents gave her the name Tallulah-Does-The-Hula-From-Hawaii. The court took the child from her parents at age 9 because she was humiliated by her own name and wanted to change it and they wouldn't do it. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.
I work for a college and I've seen some interesting ones: Skye Skraper and Abcdefghijkmnopqrstuvwxyz (pronounced "Noel" - yes, like they took the "Guess the Christmas song name" game and just used it verbatim)
Growing up I knew three brothers. Randy, Rickie and Rodney. Last name? Rafter. Also worked with a guy back in the 90's named David David...no fooling. Oh and there was a guy I know named Mike Hawken. He went by Michael.
Drew Peacock's parents realized what they had done when someone said the newborns name in front of them
One of my schoolmates was Benjamin Dover. He hated being called Ben.
Before you name a child, do two three: - say the full name really loud. Have someone else say the name really loud. If it doesn't flow, try again. - Think about the child's future. How will the name work as an adult. - Is the name so distinctive that if they were arrested and/or made the news, do you really want the people they grew up with to know your angel baby is a rapist? A drunk? Scammer?
A baby was born last year here in the Philippines as Covid Bryant and Covid Rose.
My real name is Belle (pronounced bell.) I was always tormented in school about my name; I predate Beauty and the Beast by about 10 years so I am 'the original' lol. While these poor kids truly have terrible names (hope they change them to what they want when they turn 18). Now that I'm grown I like my name, however at least I was given a classic name opposed to something truly dreadful.
Here's the best name I've encountered in the wild: Jack Fire. You pretty much can't go wrong with the surname Fire
I lived in a latin American country where many people have foreign (gringo) names, but spelled randomly. I have seen the name Jessica like Llesika Yesica Yessika. The name Jeremy is pronounced Heremi . The name John is spelled Llon and so on. Always reminds me of Terry Pratchett's books - Magratt and her daughter Esmeralda Mind The Spelling. In my country (Slavic) there was an urban legend about a kid named Izdislav (Издислав) .... After the whitesnake's song "Is this Love".
First thing: i went to elementary school woth three brothers with the last name west, it was ryden, wild, and easton. Second thing: remember the time gwyneth paltrow named her kid Apple Martin? One of my friends somehow thinks moses is worse, and that shes not that crazy, so i sent her a link to corrupt her. httpss://theoutline.com/post/1394/the-unbearable-wrongness-of-gwyneth-palrow
I knew a kid named Ben-Hur. Yes. Like Charlton Heston's character. To add insult to injury, the kid turned into a bully with ADHD who'd beat anyone in sight. I wonder how he'll be doing in high school.
It's just an old fashioned way to shorten Richard, from the days when we didn't use the word d**k to mean anything else. Don't think there are a ton of parents out there actually naming children D**k.
Load More Replies... 
As a child I met 2 girls called Mercedes, Porsche, and their brother Bentley....
I worked at an English immersion primary school in Finland, and I can’t remember the Finnish version of the name, but it directly translated to ‘shattered dreams’ in English. She was a surprise p, for parents that never wanted kids. Back home in Australia, I’ve known Barb (Barbara) Dwyer, Duane Pipe, and my personal favourite, Mike Hunt. Say it fast. MIKE HUNT 😂🤣😂
Travis moonbeam, essence of love, Orion pearly ski, celestial star, all from one family their last name was nason-long. Another family in the area last name is D**k they had 10 boys and 1 girl Anita D**k. And I once work with a guy named Strech Brown.
Many years ago, when I lived in rural Arizona I knew of a boy named Whisper (who's mom - a hippy type very sweet woman- had also changed her name from Candace to "Can Dance"). I have wondered how that worked out for him...if he changed it when he got to school, or if there's a thirty something year old man named Whisper out in the world, living his life with the free spirit of his dancing mom
I have a unique name. The only one in the world. Thanks for the difficult language. I like my name even though it has to be explained every time. Most people think of it as a last name.
There is (or was, she may have moved) whose real name was Marijuana Pepsi Jackson. She apparently kept her name and I think she went on to become a teacher.
Actually, she's originally from Beloit. I went to college with her. Didn't know her very well, but one of my roommates did. Pretty sure she has a PHD, in education, but I might be wrong about that. There was an article written about her a few years ago, that gained a lot of attention, focusing on how she became very successful, despite having a name like that. It's an interesting read, and she definitely deserves the praise.
Load More Replies... 
Brother went to school with sisters named Anniversary and Graduation i
About 30 years ago, my cousin had a son and didn't want to name him with a name that could be shortened, so she chose Nicholas. When his 3-year-old sister Alexandra met him, the first thing she said was "Hello, Knickers"! I've also heard of a case, where a woman didn't want to shorten her daughter's name, so chose "Amber". The 4-year-old brother called her "Hamburger"! Needless to say, in both cases, the mothers were horrified!
How odd - Nicholas is commonly abbreviated to Nick or Nicky. Though I knew someone called Kim because her parents didn't want a name that can be abbreviated (no idea why - gives the child choices) but she just got called Kimbo. People will frequently lengthen if they can't shorten.
Load More Replies...
My b/f had a tenant who named her baby after her favorite beverage Pepsi
There could be an argument for either adopting Iceland's law on naming children or licensing parenthood
Oh really Cherie, how are you and where are you from ?
Load More Replies...
I know someone who named their child Ophelia Wish. It sounds like a stripper or porn star name smh
Oh where to begin? I once knew a D*ck Woodc*ck, could not believe that was his name. Shewanna Johnson, that one was bad. But I was always more confused about (mostly) male names that were included in their last name ... Steve Stephenson, Brad Bradley, etc. But for super weird, I date a Jon - short for Jonquil, the flower and I knew a Summer Rayne, which I thought was pretty. Apple (before Gwyneth Paltrow's kid) and Moon Ray are two others.
My mom told me once she had a patient named Chlamydia. Now that is just unbelievable.
Chaos. Blaze. Queen Elizabeth (yes, two legal first names). Felt bad for Shithead (shuh-TEED) but his was legit, I understand that's not an uncommon name and it just isn't a name that translates well to English.
It's like the Indian surname Dixit, which has a very unfortunate pronunciation for English speakers
Load More Replies... I have a cousin who named their kid Nevaeh, heaven backwards. Also had a student named Phuc Hu; his esl teacher nicknamed him Tony and Tony kept it once he learned more English. Also had a student in my school named Diarrhea because it was the prettiest word in English her parents heard in the refugee camp.
Nevaeh is actually very common now among Mormon children. The Mormons are notorious for giving their kids "unique" names. https://www.utahbabynamer.com/
Load More Replies... 
I am in a class with a kid who was called _____ Darling then when his mum remarried he became _____ Love. This is just such a bizarre coincidence I love it.
I would name my kid Hydra. It’s probably a good thing I’m single and don’t plan to have kids any time soon XD
had a colleague named Sir King ... he was a call agent for a very big company..
Here in Germany, there a rules for giving your child a name. Most importantly, the name must not be ridiculous, because that causes emotional damages. So when you go to the registry office, they can forbid you to use certain names. Those people saved a lot of children from a very bad childhood!
Sometimes I think: why are there so many regulations in my country? And than I see this and see: because.
Load More Replies... My test for baby names was always to put titles in front of them, like Doctor, Judge, Ambassador, Senator, President. (Yeah, very ambitious about offspring.) If the name fits and doesn’t clash with such respected titles, it went on the list. If it sounded ridiculous, it was tossed out right away.
Same here. I've always referred to this as the "Chief Justice" test. So many people give their kid names that are cutesy as a small child, but they're only children for a small part of their lives. Then they're a 40 year old district manager named Princess.
Load More Replies... My country doesn't allow names that ridicule the person, BUT being a spanish speaking country, the amount of poorly spelled foreign names is astonishing. Sad thing is one of the worse things this country excells at is being snobbish, so if you have a name that's considered ridiculous or "low class", you're instantly discriminated against. Thankfully that's changing with newer generations, but it's still a thing. Also, there's a big difference between being original and creative, and not being able to understand your kid might be scarred for life if you choose a name that will get them bullied and ridiculed. On a side note: who TF names their kid SEX FRUIT? It's wrong on SO many levels!
We have this in Germany too. If you name your child Kevin or Chantalle, everyone will think they come from a trashy family and that they are stupid.
Load More Replies... I would name my kid Evil Genius. Its a good indicator that I probably shouldn't have kids.
I don't know, might work nicely with the last name "Monster" at least.
Load More Replies... This is so stupid. Children are not your dolls, they're real living people who are going to be adults one day and live whole lives just like you. I believe don't name your kid something you wouldn't want to be called yourself.
My submissions: Moon Unit Zappa and a kid I went to school with, Richard Head. He did NOT go by the nickname "D**k."
Ιs this ridiculous thing happening anywhere else besides the US? Also, why would they deliberately give their children psychological issues? I get they want to stand out but c'mon... Normalize being normal!!
What goes through these people's minds when they think of a baby name?? Like, you could name your child "Noelle" but you want something unique so you'd choose "jkmno" WHY??
I lived in Portugal for 6 years. Almost every girl has Maria in her name somewhere. Many names are still so ultra-Catholic. Things like Maria de Deus (Mary of God), Maria da Luz (Mary from Heaven) Conceição (Conception, FFS), Maria José for girls and José Maria for boys. Portugal, let it go, please.
The top 2 I know are a woman named Blanca, last name Pintado (white painted), she happened to marry a man with the last name Amarillo, so she was Blanca Pintado de Amarillo (white, painted yellow). The other case is about a set of twins, one named Mara and the other Dona... Can you gess what country they're from? ;)
Pretty sure the question here isn't "What were the parents thinking" but instead, "Were the parents thinking?"
Some of these are pretty objectively dreadful. Peter File, Tequila and Sex Fruit for example. But some of these entries are a bit mean spirited and overly judgemental, are Mystic and Strawberry really that bad?
What kind of person names their kid sex fruit, though? It disturbs me on so many levels... The rest I don't mind, though some just make me feel bad for the kids who get bullied because of their names.
Load More Replies... This is the reason most countries put limits of what people can name their child. No child should have to suffer a name like "Sex Fruit".
I used to teach Sunday School. Had a boy there named Left-tenant. A lady at work was the eleventh child, her mother named her Ma-11. Not a joke. I saw her ID. Another guy was named Doctor, he was not a doctor. I live in South Africa, so it's a daily occurrence to meet someone with a name different from the norm.
My son's pediatrician told me when he did his year for the state, a new mother named her child Dilate. English words for names is a common place in South Africa. Names like, Beauty, Welcome, Beginning etc.
Load More Replies... In his book, Trevor Noah talks about knowing a guy named Hitler in South Africa. The parents and the kid didn't understand who Hitler was- they just liked the name. Hannibal Burress complains that people give him a hard time about his first name but he was named BEFORE The Silence of the Lambs.
If your reading this I hope you have a great day and know. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 NIV
Some of these names only sound bad because they are in a language you understand. Benjamin and Joseph have no real meaning in English, but would you name a child "Son of the right hand" or "he adds"? The Old Testament asserts that these were the meanings of Benjamin and Joseph in the language of the time, and the names were given based on the circumstances of their births.
I thought about naming my second baby girl Libelle which is the Dutch word for dragonfly. But it's also the name of a Dutch magazine.
Not only a magazine... So much more, including Lord if you spell it like libel.
Load More Replies... I had a student (of immigrant parents) named Tes Tekkle. Say it aloud.
While shopping one day, I overheard a woman calling to her three children: Destiny, Karma, and Fate.
I'm guessing first kid planned, second kid conceived while drunk, third kid an accident LOL
Load More Replies... Just to share a couple from my life, I grew up with a Don Duck, and no I am not super old this is from a time when the world knew who Donald Duck was. My personal favorite though is I had a friend whose dad was named Stan Still
My mother attended school with a boy named Donald Duck.
Load More Replies... i knew a girl named "Nazmoki" who was the daughter of an immigrant to the US. She was alone in the hospital when she had her baby, and still feeling the effects of the epidural. they asked her for a name while she was out of it and she read the "no smoking" sign with a thick accent.
I had a patient once who was an African lady and she married an Irishman. Her name was Baby Fiddler. Thank goodness o saw the band before I saw the patient because it took me about ten minutes to stop laughing.
I have always had a lot of cats. I usually name favorite human names like Nicholas and Louie and Johanna. I would never name a cat something more odd than Bandit.
I have a 14 page list I'm always adding to of stupid names kids are given, as well as a funny first and last name combinations. Like "Harry Beavers", "Harry Aenus", "River Moats", "Bear Trapp", "Brick Price", "Rusty Hamner", "One Winter", "Ona Bible", "Georgia Eagle", "Fern Forest", "Rowdy Negro" (white guy, real name), "Peter Gozinya", "Dusty Rhodes", "Little Saulsberry", "Pringle Peeples", etc. Parents can be so cruel, but at the same time, it's the kid's fault for not changing their name later in life.
Knew a guy who named his daughter Crystal Meredith. I later found out he was addicted to meth, and wanted to name his kid after his favorite thing in the world.
I know a person whose name includes a number. I'm not going to name her, but imagine if your parents named you Ja5eson (and pronounced it "Ja-five-eh-son"). That's not her name, but it's about the same thing. She had a brother named Kyle, which was spelled normally, but I think should have been spelled "Xle".
I worked with two sisters who were named Jeruzalem and Bethlehem... We called them Jerry and Beth though! And I know a kid whose name is Storm, and got diagnosed with ADHD...
We named our son Charles Xavier. My husband wanted Charles after his best friend and we couldn’t think of any other middle name that fit.
I have a friend who's parents surnaame was Puller and named him Richard (D*ck for short).
Indian names A**l... pronounced un-al.. Fortunate Fernandes.. tough child birth... Afaq... pronounced a-faak Achyut... if u know what a "chuth " is Viral.. pronounced vee-
I've know some people with strange names. Rainbow - Parents were hippies. Tuesday - parents allowed their 3 year old to name her. Barbie- not that strange of a name except it was a boy. Chlamydia - Spelled differently but pronounced the same.
One of my dads cousins just has a baby and they named the baby "Fields" Not even kidding, Fields. I think all of her kids names are from the bible or something? one is Psalm (i think thats how its spelled) One is Harvest, and the other one i dont remember.
I do hope that's not a girl though. She's going to get so bullied :(
Load More Replies... Working for a non-profit that works with children I saw my fair share: 1. SHMILY - So Help Me I Love You 2. Latrina 3. Moms name was Xerox and she named her son Canon 4. Shithead pronounced Sha-Theed 5. Twins - Mercedes & Lexus
Went to school with a "Rainbow Summersky"... parents may have been hippies (this was the 1980s). Also went to school with a girl named Ta-Tanasha, which sounds awesome in some ways, but she got called "Ta-Tas" a lot
I went to school with a Holly Berry, and worked with a Mike Hunt. Also worked with a company that had a call centre in the Philippines, a lot used different names instead because their real names were things like bubbles, Princess etc. My family still make fun of my cousin's son's name, when he said it was TJ we all asked what it stood for, nope his name is TeeJay.
Somebody (possibly Kim K.) talked Kanye out of re-naming himself Christian Billionaire Genius. Here in the U.S., you can name your kid anything, and I'm honestly good with that. I definitely feel sorry for some kids, but at least you can change it or try to get a good nickname.
I loved the name Liam before it became annoyingly popular (thanks Mr. Hemsworth). I still named my oldest Liam even though it makes me look like I'm trying to be trendy. My favorite boy name was actually Ira, but my husband vetoed it. By the time I was pregnant with our second, my husband was over being married and officially didn't care what I named the kid, so I got my Ira after all.
i worked in a division of family law/family support in which we got birth certificates for children of clients. two i remember were 'remember remember' and 'reason reason'. not twins, either.
The best i heard was while working in landscaping I hear a mother yell "Sierra Mist get in the car now." This was after the soda existed. I'm suprised Frank Zappa's Children did not make the list Ahmet, Dwizzle, Moon Unit. And Diva Muffin.
Kids named Karen, Katrina and Kim (KKK anyone, alliteration is fine but not with that letter three times). Crystal Dawn and her sister Sherry. Stormi and her daughter Raven (before the show). Thaddeus (yes he was as tiresome as his name). Peaches (classmate of mine).
My son's name was a last minute thing. We first chose Harry after my grandfather but hearing it all the time killed it for us. One evening my wife suggested the name we gave him as we both love it and we were not hearing it out and about. Soon as he was born all we heard was his name everywhere and it is now in the top 5 names in the UK
Know a couple who named their twin boys "Neil" & "Young". I have really no idea where this could come from... ;-)
I wanted to market a version of the I ❤ NY t-shirt as I love Neil Young, but there's no way I'd get the rights.
Load More Replies... Three girls, last one a surprise... Candy.... Sugar... and Nova. Last name Caine
I know a Strawberry Rain. She's only seven and prefers to go by the name Sarah. It was the daughter of a woman I worked with and she always wanted a girl to name Strawberry Rain. I also knew a woman who named her daughter Jersey Belle and while I'm normally like "that's a nice name" I couldn't even excuse myself before laughing. I felt so bad but all I could think was that's a good name for a cow. I've met a girl name Harley and I couldn't believe it, but her husband refused to budge on it. I know a Hazel Wren, which personally I love but a lot of people hated.
I knew a family who had 3 sons who were named after archangels, Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael. And a daughter they named Magdalena after Maria Magdalena. Then they had another son. They named him Angel. I always thought that was a bit weird. I guess they ran out of archangel names. 🤔
Another fabulous example of parents taking the very existence of their child/children and making it all about them. Will it ever stop?
I worked at an elementary school, where a kindergarten teacher pointed out the name on a child's desk. Pronounced sha- fah-say. Parents spelled it Shitface.
Before the internet, I've gone to school with kids names Bambi, Charity, Hope, Chastity, Faith, Forest, Domain, Patience, & none of them lived up to their names.
A friend had a child in her classroom during her student teaching experience named Vrolet because she was born in a Chevrolet
The times I have had people think it's a hoax call, when I report broken fences and escaped livestock, or a fire.....my name I. Care. Stupid parents. Could be far worse though...Iona Macintosh
There's a girl in my class called Cotton white and a boy called Ramen 💀
How about Shasta Orange? I used to work for a company that collected medical and legal records for attorneys and that was legitimately the name on all of the legal documents... I still laugh every time I see the soda at the store...(－‸ლ) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My brother legally gave his son the middle name "Trouble" so he can say Trouble is my middle name. Bit far for a joke, especially since my nephew is very shy and autistic so I don't think he'll ever embrace the joke, but at least it's only a middle name. (my nephew does like his middle name, I just don't think he'll have the confident swagger to go with the joke but I could be surprised. He's only 8 after all)
Yep, my son’s cousin’s middle name is Danger. They did it just so he could say Danger is my middle name. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies... A band I was in had a drummer named Mike Kok. Frank Zappa named his kids Dweezil and Moon Unit.
Someone needs to inform these parents, this is not the way to make your child feel special.
The US would be hard-pressed to have naming rules, since we have people from all over the world. Who are we to tell someone they can’t give their child their grandfather’s traditional Chinese or Nigerian name, just because it is “unusual” from an Anglocentric point of view? Of course this leads to people being able to name their kids “Braden Mountain Dew Magnum” or whatever, but there’s a price for everything.
My hometown has a plumber. He has 2 kids. Their names? Sinke and Draine.
I used to work with a guy called Joseph King. Known as Joe. He got an internal call once from somebody who spotted his name on the company directory and called him to say "Haha, your name is Joe-king" and put the phone down.
1) Gasoline Coffee - explained that her parents were “illiterate hicks.” 2) A. Harry D**k - junior high shop teacher. Gotta hand it to him, when he wrote his name on the board and we all started chuckling, he said, “I know why you’re laughing. Doesn’t bother me.” The laughing stopped pretty quickly. 3) Mr. and Mrs. Sippy - she thought it was cute, he rolled his eyes. Grumpy old man. 4) Grandma Daugschitz. 5) And a woman named “Rene”. Seems normal enough. Then I called her re-nay, and she snapped, “It’s REEN! It’s pronounced REEN!” Yeah, your parents may have told you that, but they were wrong.
There is a family on YOu-Tube ( https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-PepfX4nM19zhdgEn3o5kg )who has 10 children who are named Leonardo, Cleopatra, Jerusalem, Romeo, D'Artagnan, Shakespeare, Nefrititi, King James, Aphrodite & Omega. Their middle names are equally fascinating.
I worked in a hotel and met a woman named Dorcas Weatherhead, an elderly British man named D**k Holder, and a gentleman named D**k Painter. I worked at a law firm and saw the name Penny Million on a file. And I knew a woman whose father had a commune and he changed the family's last name to Israel. All of the kids were named after virtues, but given a regular middle name in case they didn't want to go by their first name. Her name was Lovely, but she had siblings named Strength, Power, and Clean. The worst kid's name I have come across is Athel. It just sounds like Asshole with a lisp.
I went to high school with a guy whose last name was O'Boyle. His first name was Lance. Poor bastard.
I know someone who didn't know they were pregnant until they went into labor in the shower so they named the baby No Wonder. Also know someone who named their son Humming because their last name is Bird. Humming Bird. I'm not kidding.
Most of these are exactly why some countries have to approve your child's name before you can give it to them. Several years ago in New Zealand there was a child whose parents gave her the name Tallulah-Does-The-Hula-From-Hawaii. The court took the child from her parents at age 9 because she was humiliated by her own name and wanted to change it and they wouldn't do it. Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.
I work for a college and I've seen some interesting ones: Skye Skraper and Abcdefghijkmnopqrstuvwxyz (pronounced "Noel" - yes, like they took the "Guess the Christmas song name" game and just used it verbatim)
Growing up I knew three brothers. Randy, Rickie and Rodney. Last name? Rafter. Also worked with a guy back in the 90's named David David...no fooling. Oh and there was a guy I know named Mike Hawken. He went by Michael.
Drew Peacock's parents realized what they had done when someone said the newborns name in front of them
One of my schoolmates was Benjamin Dover. He hated being called Ben.
Before you name a child, do two three: - say the full name really loud. Have someone else say the name really loud. If it doesn't flow, try again. - Think about the child's future. How will the name work as an adult. - Is the name so distinctive that if they were arrested and/or made the news, do you really want the people they grew up with to know your angel baby is a rapist? A drunk? Scammer?
A baby was born last year here in the Philippines as Covid Bryant and Covid Rose.
My real name is Belle (pronounced bell.) I was always tormented in school about my name; I predate Beauty and the Beast by about 10 years so I am 'the original' lol. While these poor kids truly have terrible names (hope they change them to what they want when they turn 18). Now that I'm grown I like my name, however at least I was given a classic name opposed to something truly dreadful.
Here's the best name I've encountered in the wild: Jack Fire. You pretty much can't go wrong with the surname Fire
I lived in a latin American country where many people have foreign (gringo) names, but spelled randomly. I have seen the name Jessica like Llesika Yesica Yessika. The name Jeremy is pronounced Heremi . The name John is spelled Llon and so on. Always reminds me of Terry Pratchett's books - Magratt and her daughter Esmeralda Mind The Spelling. In my country (Slavic) there was an urban legend about a kid named Izdislav (Издислав) .... After the whitesnake's song "Is this Love".
First thing: i went to elementary school woth three brothers with the last name west, it was ryden, wild, and easton. Second thing: remember the time gwyneth paltrow named her kid Apple Martin? One of my friends somehow thinks moses is worse, and that shes not that crazy, so i sent her a link to corrupt her. httpss://theoutline.com/post/1394/the-unbearable-wrongness-of-gwyneth-palrow
I knew a kid named Ben-Hur. Yes. Like Charlton Heston's character. To add insult to injury, the kid turned into a bully with ADHD who'd beat anyone in sight. I wonder how he'll be doing in high school.
It's just an old fashioned way to shorten Richard, from the days when we didn't use the word d**k to mean anything else. Don't think there are a ton of parents out there actually naming children D**k.
Load More Replies... As a child I met 2 girls called Mercedes, Porsche, and their brother Bentley....
I worked at an English immersion primary school in Finland, and I can’t remember the Finnish version of the name, but it directly translated to ‘shattered dreams’ in English. She was a surprise p, for parents that never wanted kids. Back home in Australia, I’ve known Barb (Barbara) Dwyer, Duane Pipe, and my personal favourite, Mike Hunt. Say it fast. MIKE HUNT 😂🤣😂
Travis moonbeam, essence of love, Orion pearly ski, celestial star, all from one family their last name was nason-long. Another family in the area last name is D**k they had 10 boys and 1 girl Anita D**k. And I once work with a guy named Strech Brown.
Many years ago, when I lived in rural Arizona I knew of a boy named Whisper (who's mom - a hippy type very sweet woman- had also changed her name from Candace to "Can Dance"). I have wondered how that worked out for him...if he changed it when he got to school, or if there's a thirty something year old man named Whisper out in the world, living his life with the free spirit of his dancing mom
I have a unique name. The only one in the world. Thanks for the difficult language. I like my name even though it has to be explained every time. Most people think of it as a last name.
There is (or was, she may have moved) whose real name was Marijuana Pepsi Jackson. She apparently kept her name and I think she went on to become a teacher.
Actually, she's originally from Beloit. I went to college with her. Didn't know her very well, but one of my roommates did. Pretty sure she has a PHD, in education, but I might be wrong about that. There was an article written about her a few years ago, that gained a lot of attention, focusing on how she became very successful, despite having a name like that. It's an interesting read, and she definitely deserves the praise.
Load More Replies... Brother went to school with sisters named Anniversary and Graduation i
About 30 years ago, my cousin had a son and didn't want to name him with a name that could be shortened, so she chose Nicholas. When his 3-year-old sister Alexandra met him, the first thing she said was "Hello, Knickers"! I've also heard of a case, where a woman didn't want to shorten her daughter's name, so chose "Amber". The 4-year-old brother called her "Hamburger"! Needless to say, in both cases, the mothers were horrified!
How odd - Nicholas is commonly abbreviated to Nick or Nicky. Though I knew someone called Kim because her parents didn't want a name that can be abbreviated (no idea why - gives the child choices) but she just got called Kimbo. People will frequently lengthen if they can't shorten.
Load More Replies... My b/f had a tenant who named her baby after her favorite beverage Pepsi
There could be an argument for either adopting Iceland's law on naming children or licensing parenthood
Oh really Cherie, how are you and where are you from ?
Load More Replies... I know someone who named their child Ophelia Wish. It sounds like a stripper or porn star name smh
Oh where to begin? I once knew a D*ck Woodc*ck, could not believe that was his name. Shewanna Johnson, that one was bad. But I was always more confused about (mostly) male names that were included in their last name ... Steve Stephenson, Brad Bradley, etc. But for super weird, I date a Jon - short for Jonquil, the flower and I knew a Summer Rayne, which I thought was pretty. Apple (before Gwyneth Paltrow's kid) and Moon Ray are two others.
My mom told me once she had a patient named Chlamydia. Now that is just unbelievable.
Chaos. Blaze. Queen Elizabeth (yes, two legal first names). Felt bad for Shithead (shuh-TEED) but his was legit, I understand that's not an uncommon name and it just isn't a name that translates well to English.
It's like the Indian surname Dixit, which has a very unfortunate pronunciation for English speakers
Load More Replies... I have a cousin who named their kid Nevaeh, heaven backwards. Also had a student named Phuc Hu; his esl teacher nicknamed him Tony and Tony kept it once he learned more English. Also had a student in my school named Diarrhea because it was the prettiest word in English her parents heard in the refugee camp.
Nevaeh is actually very common now among Mormon children. The Mormons are notorious for giving their kids "unique" names. https://www.utahbabynamer.com/
Load More Replies... I am in a class with a kid who was called _____ Darling then when his mum remarried he became _____ Love. This is just such a bizarre coincidence I love it.
I would name my kid Hydra. It’s probably a good thing I’m single and don’t plan to have kids any time soon XD
had a colleague named Sir King ... he was a call agent for a very big company..
