Guy Shatters A Popular Myth That Women Speak More Words Per Day Than Men, Explains How It Was Created
You’ve probably heard this very questionable urban myth which claims that women speak twice as much as men. But like most urban legends, it spreads mouth to mouth without giving much of a solid argument to back it up.
And Abraham Piper, an artist from Minneapolis, Minnesota, took it to his 839.6k followers on TikTok to debunk the myth and explain where it is coming from. Abraham’s illuminating video amassed 1.9M views as many viewers felt like the myth was thoroughly busted.
It turns out, all it took was one, according to Abraham, “mega-famous conservative Christian psychologist” stating “research makes it clear” that women speak twice more words than men. Thanks to Abraham, we have an excellent reminder that things should always be taken with at least a grain of salt and sometimes, a bag of it.
Artist Abraham Piper debunked an urban myth that women speak twice as much as men in his viral TikTok video
@abrahampiper#WeirdHistory of a #sexist #language #fact. // #linguistics #sexism #mythbusting #urbanlegend #propaganda #exvangelical #nonreligious♬ original sound – Abraham Piper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
Image credits: abrahampiper
The stereotype that women talk more than men has long been fostered by pseudo-scientific literature which made sexist conclusions about the way men and women communicate. Often, they claim that difference resides on a fundamental level that allegedly separates female and male minds.
With the publications of John Gray’s “Men Are from Mars, Women Are From Venus” and Deborah Tannen’s “You Just Don’t Understand,” these ideas escalated and spread unquestioned. In “The Female Brain,” published in 2006, Louann Brizendine, M.D. stated that women say about 20,000 words a day, while men say about 7,000. This only strengthened the already flawed stereotype and fueled it further.
Meanwhile, Mark Liberman, a linguistics professor at the University of Pennsylvania, decided to investigate the research that supported such a claim. Catherine Aponte, a former clinical psychologist and an adjunct professor at Spalding University, explains that there were some underlying flaws in the statement. “What he found was that the statement about how much men and women talk came from a self-help book, with no academic citation referencing the statement. Reviewing similar assertions yielded word counts for women ranging from 4,000 to 25,000 words, again with no research supporting such statements.”
Aponte further explains the situation that formed around the myth: “Brizendine retracted her statement when Liberman pointed out his research in a newspaper article, saying the statement would be deleted from future editions.”
However, according to Aponte, the damage was already done. “This much-publicized, stereotypic sound bite will linger in people’s memories and get recycled in conversations. The retraction will not make the same impression. This is how myths about men and women acquire the status of facts.”
And this is what people had to comment on it
Myt ake on this remains: "And if it's true, 19,000 of those words are, 'Please listen to me'." ....
I'll never forget the scenes during lunch time, hanging at work with men and women colleagues... Guess who's the group that talks the most when we're mixed up... yeah, men. Nothing wrong with this in general, it's just... I don't know how people believe this. My brother also talks more than one of my sisters and me. And I've witnessed so many men either interrupting or not even letting women to talk because they have so much to say, the poor women just patiently gave up waiting for their turn. At school as well, boys were the ones talking more during lessons, in average, not by rule. And finally, me, I speak exceptionally little. I'm the type who quietly sits in a corner when hanging out in groups. Talking is good, don't be afraid to talk too much, but this myth? How? Why? Absolute nonsense. Ironically, I ended up writing a long comment. ♡
Wouldn't it go by person to person? Some men talk a lot, some barely talk at all and the same goes for women. It's not gender specific.
Seems like it. Also what job you have and if you’re in a relationship, if you have a close friend, etc. Also could be influenced by the decade and your income (a person with good income in 2001 would have more minutes of talk time than a poor person in 2001, back when we paid by minute for cell phone use) so they’d be able to talk more.
Load More Replies...I was confused at first - I thought the statistic was that men have an allotment of 25 words a day. I was about to count my husband's words and cut him off - "Oh sweetie, I love you and I don't want you to die younger because you used up your quota." 25,000 - whew!
Really? I mean I get loving him and all but 1. the title states it's a lie, and 2. Anyone who's known a man knows that they speak too much and >50 words per conversation is normal.
Load More Replies...I have never heard that women speak more than me! If someone had stated that to me as a "fact", I honestly would question the validity and call it out as BS. I mean my mate Dave alone would tip the average, he will not shut up!
In his world housewives are bursting with words when their speech-exhausted better half returns home --- but then he bizarrely doesn't come to the obvious conclusion, namely that women should go out working while men can house-keep in their preferred silence.
Eh, if the theory is right, it's not right because men don't like to talk. It's that the husband just spent all day at work, and don't really want to discuss 'business' where as the wife just spent the entire day taking care of Baby, whose conversational repetoire ranges from 'goo' and 'gah' to 'wahhahahhhh' and wants something...more. So, swapping places really wouldn't solve this. in any case, this model was laughable, even when it wasn't horribly outdated. I've worked jobs where, the only time I've spoken, it was literally me mumbling to myself. and I've worked jobs where all I ever said was 'Good Morning' or 'welcome back' or 'have a good day', but said it with remarkable frequency. And now I'm training idiots in how to not get our company sued (aka, use of force, CPR, anti-harassment, etc) (why are people so shocked when I tell them, that if they come up on somebody whose already down and unconscious, they're probably dead, and your going to do CPR anyhow, because appearances.)
Load More Replies...I read that study, in 34 of the 56 studies the men talked more, in two of the studies the women talked more and in 20 of the studies it was equal.
I’ve long known that men talk more than women. Just look at who’s in all the talking professions of journalism, law, politics, criticism, senior levels of academia. Just look who’s doing all the talking in work meetings. Doing all the blogging and vlogging and commenting online. How much men interrupt women.
To be fair, I see a lot more women "doing all the blogging & vlogging & commenting online" than men. Not that that's a bad thing, but neither of us can claim our observations are the ultimate truth. & the rest of your points have nothing to do with who talks more, it all comes down to who's given a voice in the first place. I definitely agree women should be heard more than they are right now, but it really isn't about who talks more to begin with, it's about whether those voices are taken seriously.
Load More Replies...I've never heard that myth before. Maybe the best debunking is just when your absolute "truth" is absolutely unheard of in foreign countries...
I have heard of it - but I also heard at the same time that it's complete BS.
Load More Replies...The guy who made that fact up is stupid. I would say maybe 2000-3500 words a day, and write or read a lot more.
I for one am pretty sick and tired of men griping about how women won't shut up and the infamous tagline that all a man wants is a sandwich and silence....Another interesting social-psychological tidbit I heard that is somewhat relevant: say in a crowd, like an audience at a talk show or seminar, when a man stands u to speak, studies show that people will generally listen to what he has to say before making any snap judgments about him, whereas, when a woman stands up to speak, everyone will look at her first and based on the way she looks they will decide whether or not to even listen to her. Dang!
This reminds me of my grandpa. He'd always complain about my grandma talking on the phone but wouldn't answer it himself. Then he'd get on the phone with a buddy and talk for 4 hours straight. Loved the man and it was a running joke. "Why did getting the mail take so long?" Ran into grandpa...
I don't even speak 10 words per day I don't have any friends at school usually it's just me asking my teacher to use the bathroom XD
I am sorry. Things will get better later I promise :) I also spent some time in school where I wouldnt open the mouth in the whole day. It will improve.
Load More Replies...I have absolutely never heard anything like this. Another American thing again?
Thanks for this clarification. I've always thought that these figures meant that women used more different words to express themselves than men, leading to more subtility in their way of expressing feelings, etc. Anyway, this was also totally wrong bc this is highly person-dependant.
A typical first date with a man is them talking about themselves nonstop and you get an okay or cool in every now and then. Oh and I order my food. Guess that counts.
One of those "statistics" that don't mean anything. One-on-one? In group? Introverts? Extroverts? Psychopaths? On the spectrum? When child present? when parent present? When Boss present? Discussion topic? Everyone is just saying what they've gone through, the comments are a one-sided mess and everyone is different. There are better ways to "measure" misogyny, instead of stirrinng the pot with no data.
You don't debunk a myth by making a bunch of statements without sources.
It seems that a lot of fake statements become facts. Some are pretty harmless like this one, but some are extremely dangerous like the one with the vaccines causing autism in children :/
This 'fact' isn't harmless. It's another brick in a very nasty wall.
Load More Replies...Well at my family reunions the women get together talking non stop the men are mostly quiet.
That's probably just your family. I have a really large family and we all talk together, some of my uncles and aunts are loud and some of us...mainly myself and my cousins are soft spoken.
Load More Replies...I get that people confuse "conventual wisdom" with fact and that can be dangerous, but we also should take what random people on tik tok say as fact either... do your own research folks.
No! Please don't do that. actually listen to professionals and actual resachers. Be smart enough to know when you are to stupid to really grasp something in depth
Load More Replies...No, he said that two linguists checked out all the studies that were made about the subject, and only two stated that women talk more. And that at least one of the studies had flaws in it. And that the one that originally came up with such a statement happened to be a religious male etc etc with no actual academic citation to support his claim.
Load More Replies...My husband and I worked opposite shifts. He would come home in the morning and talk my ear off and I just wanted peace and quiet in the morning. Then I would get home from work and be all pumped up and want to talk and he would just want peace and quiet...but it's weird that it was always when we got off work we wanted to talk. I guess for most people it's the opposite?
Load More Replies...And you are an authority on this, are you? I doubt it, yet here you are sticking your oar in. This guy looks like he did some research. If there are studies that support this, then where are they?
Load More Replies...It’s okay that you’re homosexual, ‘grongo bar’ but you don’t have a right to be a misogynist homosexual. If you’re going to claim that you aren’t a homosexual, well your comment proved otherwise since you clearly think so badly of women, so you should go have sex with males since you idolize males so much. Like a racist white lowlife, it makes no sense for the racist to want to have sex with a black person since the white racist doesn’t respect black people (and black people rightfully don’t want anything to do with a white racist; likewise women don’t want anything to do with you, you sick creep). Btw, males are the ones committing the vast majority of crimes, statistically, and girls do better at school than boys. Google it. So if you’re going to be a lowlife to a gender, be that to your own male gender. (To actual decent men that could be reading this comment: since he was all kinds of disrespectful to my gender, I wanted to fairly point out statistical facts).
Load More Replies...Myt ake on this remains: "And if it's true, 19,000 of those words are, 'Please listen to me'." ....
I'll never forget the scenes during lunch time, hanging at work with men and women colleagues... Guess who's the group that talks the most when we're mixed up... yeah, men. Nothing wrong with this in general, it's just... I don't know how people believe this. My brother also talks more than one of my sisters and me. And I've witnessed so many men either interrupting or not even letting women to talk because they have so much to say, the poor women just patiently gave up waiting for their turn. At school as well, boys were the ones talking more during lessons, in average, not by rule. And finally, me, I speak exceptionally little. I'm the type who quietly sits in a corner when hanging out in groups. Talking is good, don't be afraid to talk too much, but this myth? How? Why? Absolute nonsense. Ironically, I ended up writing a long comment. ♡
Wouldn't it go by person to person? Some men talk a lot, some barely talk at all and the same goes for women. It's not gender specific.
Seems like it. Also what job you have and if you’re in a relationship, if you have a close friend, etc. Also could be influenced by the decade and your income (a person with good income in 2001 would have more minutes of talk time than a poor person in 2001, back when we paid by minute for cell phone use) so they’d be able to talk more.
Load More Replies...I was confused at first - I thought the statistic was that men have an allotment of 25 words a day. I was about to count my husband's words and cut him off - "Oh sweetie, I love you and I don't want you to die younger because you used up your quota." 25,000 - whew!
Really? I mean I get loving him and all but 1. the title states it's a lie, and 2. Anyone who's known a man knows that they speak too much and >50 words per conversation is normal.
Load More Replies...I have never heard that women speak more than me! If someone had stated that to me as a "fact", I honestly would question the validity and call it out as BS. I mean my mate Dave alone would tip the average, he will not shut up!
In his world housewives are bursting with words when their speech-exhausted better half returns home --- but then he bizarrely doesn't come to the obvious conclusion, namely that women should go out working while men can house-keep in their preferred silence.
Eh, if the theory is right, it's not right because men don't like to talk. It's that the husband just spent all day at work, and don't really want to discuss 'business' where as the wife just spent the entire day taking care of Baby, whose conversational repetoire ranges from 'goo' and 'gah' to 'wahhahahhhh' and wants something...more. So, swapping places really wouldn't solve this. in any case, this model was laughable, even when it wasn't horribly outdated. I've worked jobs where, the only time I've spoken, it was literally me mumbling to myself. and I've worked jobs where all I ever said was 'Good Morning' or 'welcome back' or 'have a good day', but said it with remarkable frequency. And now I'm training idiots in how to not get our company sued (aka, use of force, CPR, anti-harassment, etc) (why are people so shocked when I tell them, that if they come up on somebody whose already down and unconscious, they're probably dead, and your going to do CPR anyhow, because appearances.)
Load More Replies...I read that study, in 34 of the 56 studies the men talked more, in two of the studies the women talked more and in 20 of the studies it was equal.
I’ve long known that men talk more than women. Just look at who’s in all the talking professions of journalism, law, politics, criticism, senior levels of academia. Just look who’s doing all the talking in work meetings. Doing all the blogging and vlogging and commenting online. How much men interrupt women.
To be fair, I see a lot more women "doing all the blogging & vlogging & commenting online" than men. Not that that's a bad thing, but neither of us can claim our observations are the ultimate truth. & the rest of your points have nothing to do with who talks more, it all comes down to who's given a voice in the first place. I definitely agree women should be heard more than they are right now, but it really isn't about who talks more to begin with, it's about whether those voices are taken seriously.
Load More Replies...I've never heard that myth before. Maybe the best debunking is just when your absolute "truth" is absolutely unheard of in foreign countries...
I have heard of it - but I also heard at the same time that it's complete BS.
Load More Replies...The guy who made that fact up is stupid. I would say maybe 2000-3500 words a day, and write or read a lot more.
I for one am pretty sick and tired of men griping about how women won't shut up and the infamous tagline that all a man wants is a sandwich and silence....Another interesting social-psychological tidbit I heard that is somewhat relevant: say in a crowd, like an audience at a talk show or seminar, when a man stands u to speak, studies show that people will generally listen to what he has to say before making any snap judgments about him, whereas, when a woman stands up to speak, everyone will look at her first and based on the way she looks they will decide whether or not to even listen to her. Dang!
This reminds me of my grandpa. He'd always complain about my grandma talking on the phone but wouldn't answer it himself. Then he'd get on the phone with a buddy and talk for 4 hours straight. Loved the man and it was a running joke. "Why did getting the mail take so long?" Ran into grandpa...
I don't even speak 10 words per day I don't have any friends at school usually it's just me asking my teacher to use the bathroom XD
I am sorry. Things will get better later I promise :) I also spent some time in school where I wouldnt open the mouth in the whole day. It will improve.
Load More Replies...I have absolutely never heard anything like this. Another American thing again?
Thanks for this clarification. I've always thought that these figures meant that women used more different words to express themselves than men, leading to more subtility in their way of expressing feelings, etc. Anyway, this was also totally wrong bc this is highly person-dependant.
A typical first date with a man is them talking about themselves nonstop and you get an okay or cool in every now and then. Oh and I order my food. Guess that counts.
One of those "statistics" that don't mean anything. One-on-one? In group? Introverts? Extroverts? Psychopaths? On the spectrum? When child present? when parent present? When Boss present? Discussion topic? Everyone is just saying what they've gone through, the comments are a one-sided mess and everyone is different. There are better ways to "measure" misogyny, instead of stirrinng the pot with no data.
You don't debunk a myth by making a bunch of statements without sources.
It seems that a lot of fake statements become facts. Some are pretty harmless like this one, but some are extremely dangerous like the one with the vaccines causing autism in children :/
This 'fact' isn't harmless. It's another brick in a very nasty wall.
Load More Replies...Well at my family reunions the women get together talking non stop the men are mostly quiet.
That's probably just your family. I have a really large family and we all talk together, some of my uncles and aunts are loud and some of us...mainly myself and my cousins are soft spoken.
Load More Replies...I get that people confuse "conventual wisdom" with fact and that can be dangerous, but we also should take what random people on tik tok say as fact either... do your own research folks.
No! Please don't do that. actually listen to professionals and actual resachers. Be smart enough to know when you are to stupid to really grasp something in depth
Load More Replies...No, he said that two linguists checked out all the studies that were made about the subject, and only two stated that women talk more. And that at least one of the studies had flaws in it. And that the one that originally came up with such a statement happened to be a religious male etc etc with no actual academic citation to support his claim.
Load More Replies...My husband and I worked opposite shifts. He would come home in the morning and talk my ear off and I just wanted peace and quiet in the morning. Then I would get home from work and be all pumped up and want to talk and he would just want peace and quiet...but it's weird that it was always when we got off work we wanted to talk. I guess for most people it's the opposite?
Load More Replies...And you are an authority on this, are you? I doubt it, yet here you are sticking your oar in. This guy looks like he did some research. If there are studies that support this, then where are they?
Load More Replies...It’s okay that you’re homosexual, ‘grongo bar’ but you don’t have a right to be a misogynist homosexual. If you’re going to claim that you aren’t a homosexual, well your comment proved otherwise since you clearly think so badly of women, so you should go have sex with males since you idolize males so much. Like a racist white lowlife, it makes no sense for the racist to want to have sex with a black person since the white racist doesn’t respect black people (and black people rightfully don’t want anything to do with a white racist; likewise women don’t want anything to do with you, you sick creep). Btw, males are the ones committing the vast majority of crimes, statistically, and girls do better at school than boys. Google it. So if you’re going to be a lowlife to a gender, be that to your own male gender. (To actual decent men that could be reading this comment: since he was all kinds of disrespectful to my gender, I wanted to fairly point out statistical facts).
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