Woman’s Twitter Thread Explains Why Many Women Fear Men

I HATE that feeling. The “assessment” is so natural to us. That sudden TERROR when we realize the situation could turn within seconds is filled with so many internal components. We freeze. Be mindful of our eyes. Don’t widen them. Don’t look. Look away! Just laugh. Was that a fearful laugh? Does he know my alert system is going off? What can I grab? Please stop saying stuff! He keeps glaring at me. Oh Sh!t! He knows I’m scared! I’m repeating my words. I just stuttered. Oh yeah, he knows. Please please please let me be ok....just get through this and Get away from him. Don’t look....why won’t he stop saying that? Oh that’s so gross. Really, dude? No. Just NO!!! Stop it!

The mental check that women have to do before ANYTHING is insane. I go for dinner with friends and have to think.. when I leave it will be dark, have I parked to far away, where can I go if something does happen, where are my keys I can hold in case someone tries to grab me. Men don't understand that we are going through this check list every time we are alone. I'm tired of it!!!

I went fishing with my husband's stepfather, older man in his 60's and he raped me. Everything that this woman said hit me right in the gut. I hate being afraid of men and situations like she had with the guy coming to buy her dryer. I hate having to plan everything out when there's someone who scares me or concerns me...knowing what to do to save your life and living with it every day is sad...

At one point in my life I didnt have too much fear. it didn't consume me, I didn't do the assement, I just lived my life. Then I started the 5am shift. I don't drive and my then bf didnt own a car, so I caught the bus everywhere. The bus did not start running until 5:10am. My only other option was to walk. It was a 30-40min walk and I was completely fine with it considering I walked that route on a main road all the time during the day/night. All was fine for a month or two. I passed by joggers, drunks, homeless, other people walking to work. I put my caution up around the drunks and homeless because they were the most unpredictable. But I was not assaulted by any of them. In fact a couple of drunk guys asked me if I wanted them to wake up their mom to take me where I needed to go. I was assaulted by a jogger. I didn't really do the assessment and it bit me in the a*s. Now I do the assessment everywhere with all men all the time because you never know... and that fear sticks

Thank you for this, I have felt this way before but it also put a better understanding why my husband always asks his mom to come over when a repair man comes over.

My boyfriend and I were camping in the Redwoods. He began telling me about a time he was hiking on his own, no one around for hours and he begins to hear horses.Eventually 6 men on horses could be seen. As they got closer he saw some had rifles. He thought is was so cool he made sure they saw him. For him he thought is was an amazing 'old west' experience. When I told him my only thought would have been to hide he though I was joking. When I explained he looked like he just realized the world is not round. He would quiz me once in awhile to see what other things I would not be able to do alone as a female. Kinda opened his eyes.

Dear miss Sarasuze, imo, you don't need to be ashamed you're not one of those kick-a*s movie heroines. Fear is the appropriate response, and caution. Be glad you chose that and not the "call him out" thing. The best way to handle yourself in a fight is to prevent one all together. (All of this does have exceptions of course, but overall I find this helpful. As someone who may have been a bit overly plucky in the past.)

As a father of 3 daughter I've had to step in several times regarding this type of behavior with boys even at their young age. I frightens me that I will not be there every time to step in as the intimidating father. My wife and I have gone to great lengths to teach them that this is not normal or acceptable behavior.

I once missed the shuttle to work and didn't drive back then. While I was standing at the complex gate, wondering what to do, an older gentleman stopped his car, told me he worked in the same company, and offered me a ride. This is way back when I was naive and I was very late for work, so I accepted. He talked to me about the company, seemed to know enough so I relaxed. Suddenly right before we were about to reach, he turned left,pretending to ignore my frantic questions about where we were going. He then got up on the freeway and I started screaming at him to stop. I still remember his look when he turned to me and said "I won't. What can you do?". My blood froze but I kept screaming and started hitting him. I think he decided I was too much trouble, so he let me out in the middle of the freeway from where I had to walk all the way to work (this is before uber) As I type this, I notice how many times I explained myself so people don't start blaming me instead. Shows You something

This women had it right until she dragged Kavenaugh into it.. none of the allegations against him could be proven. And they were ridiculous to start with. And everyone with half a brain could see it was political theater. That being said as a woman I know about "the assessment". And my heart goes out to her because I can relate to that same terror. Men do need to do better.

The other day, I was in a gas station and two guys walked in. One was probably around my dad's age, one must have been the other's son and looked to be in his late teens. I immediately thought of the closest door, the easiest way to fight back, and the closest people who could help. All of my thoughts went to, "How can I escape if one or more of them tries to do something?" I'm only 13. There is no acceptable reason for any women to be so scared of any male they encounter. That sounds like I'm saying women don't need to be scared, what I'm saying is that women should not have to be scared because men need to clean their act up and stop this sort of behavior. This is the world we live in, and it has to change.

I had something similar happen with a cable guy. He was in my house for over an hour, of course my husband was out of town, and he pretended to "fix" my issue for that long, just chatting away, getting really intrusive and then said that he didn't find anything wrong. I finally had to tell him that my dinner was burning (which was not untrue) and that my husband was going to be home and that he needed to get out of my house. I ended up reporting it. He kept putting himself in between me and the door, but luckily we have a back door I could have run out of if I needed to. Gotta be honest, I don't really love him knowing where i live.

Tradespeople I'm OK with - they're usually someone recommended to me, and no one is going to recommend a creep. But selling online, I wouldn't have a stranger in the house, male or female, when I'm alone. Even a woman could pull a knife and rob you.

so much truth in this; so much love for posting your experience. i hope you are able to work through your perceived lack of strength--it took strength (mixed with rage) to be able to post this to begin with. I hope you are able to keep from putting yourself in that kind of predicament in the future--stick with your first gut instinct about not letting strangers come to your house when you're home alone. all the best!

I've noticed many times when women have been "making the assessment" about me. It's happened in elevators, trains, waiting for the ATM and parking garages. Not once have I ever been a threat to these or any woman. Sometimes I question is there something specific about me that has triggered this assessment? Most times I just feel bad that for reasons I'll never know, this woman's fear has been triggered by me. I know it's not personal but, some times I want to shout, "I'm not a threat to you!" I can't help if my car happens to be parked along the same path as yours. How am I supposed to change these kind of reactions? How am I supposed to alleviate these fears in women? How do I prevent every other man from being a vile, disgusting, opportunistic piece of s**t? How do I stop other men from praying on women? How do I prevent more situations from happening like the ones posted here?

I've been abused by so many men that I do not trust being alone with ANY man, with the sole exception of one of my friends and that's because I know he's gay and is not in the least bit interested in women.

Congratulations for not pushing that heavy dryier back to him. (This is not sarcasm, btw, I really mean it. The outcome would have made her look like the aggressor otherwise. Also, she spared a life.)

On a Saturday morning when I was 12 my mother was at work and my father was at the funeral home with my grandmother making arrangements for my great grandmother a man obviously on drugs came to our house pulled out a knife and threatened to kill me and my 8year old brother. The guy was insane kept demanding brocolli, I told him my dad was asleep and I would go get him soon as I was out of sight he started beating the s**t out of the screen door, I lowered my brother out the window and told him to run, afraid he catch my brother if we both ran I called the police and went back out to try and calm him down, told him my dad was getting dressed. Luckily the police arrived very quickly, and took him into custody. I'm 45 now and if you knock on my door unannounced I have a gun, it's concealed but I have it. I'm sorry for your experience but having a penis doesn't exclude you from the dangers of this world.

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While there are still scumbag men out there, women need to learn to defend themselves and take their power back from the moments Sara Suze and other women have mentioned above. It's not right that we should be made to feel this way by a minority. Learn self-defence or kung fu, or just use your voice, act a more aggressively, we have to know we can protect ourselves if have to...then there's always revenge, you know like in the movies. As Sara said, we all hope we could be that gun toting woman, but we probably wouldn't be.

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On 9/28 @ 6:15am I was driving to work - dark. I saw a car with its lights flashing and out of state plates, but nobody was in it. I saw someone walking not far away with a gas can in hand. I did a different version of "the assessment" - one where I determined how much in control of the situation I was - decided to pull over. It was a man, around my age, who had run out of gas. I offered him a ride. The gas station was about 4 miles down the road, got gas, took him back. A sheriff had pulled up behind his car and asked if he knew me. He said I was just doing a good deed - the sheriff thanked me. I went to work. The only reason I felt comfortable picking up this person was because I knew I was in control of the situation. Had I not done that assessment, knowing that I could call 911 by saying "hey Siri" or pushing on-star, I wouldn't have been comfortable doing that. I had a plan, which is what every person should have before getting into a situation like that.

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Anyone should be weary of "buyers". You putting an ad out that you are going to give strangers access to your house.

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This is why I conceal carry.

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All the gun suggestion replies downvoted. lol I guess sheep will be sheep. Baaaaaaaah!