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Dating and relationships are difficult even on a good day. And good days are pretty rare. Unfortunately, that is the reality everyone lives in when navigating the romantic world. Especially women. But at least they have a place to vent.

The subreddit r/FemaleDatingStrategy has 175K members (or as it calls them, queens), constantly discussing their love lives, and that includes all the nonsense that arises too. Continue scrolling and check out what they have to say.

#1

Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!

Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!

placemat24 Report

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Took me a sec to realize it, but good going. You have to consider yourself first.

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To help you get a better understanding of these posts, Bored Panda got in touch with dating coach, 2 million view TED speaker, and media personality Hayley Quinn. She believes that "dating is different for men and women. However, you'd be wrong to think that one gender has it easy."

"Instead men and women often face equal and opposite problems to one another," Quinn said. "Guys might struggle to think of how to approach a woman, and women (who traditionally and maybe wrongly) have been told they can't make the first move and so panic over where they can find all the guys that want to approach them."

#2

Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!

Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!

Twohagsover30 , ghvstbvr Report

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never understood this...if you lose control over what a woman wears then you need some serious help. The problem definitely isn't the clothes.

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In the world of online dating, Quinn also sees noticeable disparities. "Guys may feel like they're having to move heaven and earth to get one lousy response from a woman, whilst women can feel overwhelmed and harassed by unsuitable suitors," she explained. "Men could usually learn from women that they need to have higher standards for the women they interact with, and women could take a leaf out of men's dating and learn how they too can be proactive."

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#4

Some Men Need To Learn This

Some Men Need To Learn This

anonymous , taragroves05 Report

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BingeFest1
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This goes for everybody. Treat others the way you want to be treated

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In 2020, the Pew Research Center surveyed Americans to find out more about their love life. While single-and-looking men and women reported equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women were more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.

Most women who were single and looking to date (65%) said they have experienced at least one of six harassing behaviors asked about in the survey from someone they were dating or had been on a date with, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.

#6

Oops

Oops

PBJellyNutella Report

"Though men might think women have guys queuing up to date them (which sounds great right?) in reality women face plenty of dating challenges," Quinn said. "They may feel emotionally drained by dating, as they push through dates where they don't feel a connection. If they're seeking a relationship they may struggle to tell which guy's going to be in for the long haul, and who will disappear at the first inkling of commitment. They may even not know how to get offline and actually meet men in real life; and get stuck in the belief that all the 'good men' have run out, and it's impossible to meet someone."

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The dating coach added that women also face significantly more judgement around things like their age, which can be a challenge on dating apps; and more scrutiny for expressing their sexuality. "So don't think that just because she's got a queue of potential suitors that she's not having a hard time dating."

We all can be douches to one another. Let's not.

#8

That Really Puts It In Perspective

That Really Puts It In Perspective

Descendant_of_Innana Report

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's always on us, don't dress that way, don't walk there, don't provoke. When it happens we didn't fight enough, fought too hard, didn't say no, didn't mean it when we said it. If we report it we get blamed, re traumatized by questions and rape kits that are then left untouched, called liars.

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#11

100% True For Me

100% True For Me

cinderella_rising , PatrickStrud Report

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Legen ( wait for it ) dary
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel a drop off interest on men (thanks a lot) when I say my husband is a police officer or a jujitsu master.

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#14

They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect

They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect

TheOGJammies , blackwomensday Report

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#15

Speaks For Itself

Speaks For Itself

yggiwtmiih Report

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Ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm still thinking about the time women had to use hat pins to defend themselves from handsy men. They were covered in fabric from head to tow. It's never about the way you dress, it's about being decent.

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#16

Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”

Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”

copingwithsht Report

#17

Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life

Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life

OhDionne , OhDionne Report

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Rachel Peterson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always support the allies, reminding them how much I value them.

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#18

How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up

How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up

anonymous , AmySilverberg Report

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was convinced she was just a miserable person. She eloped w my dad when she was 15 he was 19. She was 25 when she got divorced she then realized she was a very outgoing extrovert that loved to smile and be herself

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#20

Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes

Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes

Big-Paleontologist13 Report

#22

Nothing But Truth

Nothing But Truth

ScarletFate779 Report

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Dennis Troelsen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm just going to assume that most here are Americans, being from denmark myself i have been to parties (in denmark) sitting or standing next to a few women and they end up talking sex good and bad experiances partners and so on and never have i thought anything shaming about them but good for them that they have been curious and learned a few things like one i remember very clearly when trying a**l ALWAYS remember lube and lots of it and take time, most of this shaming comes from bad parenting and trying to be the cool/alpha male, bad boy, and for my part korrect if some guy i knew started to brag about rape i would not shame him he would (maybe) wake up in the hospital at some point.

michaelbeswick avatar
Michael Beswick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think that's true. Most men have women in their lives they love / care about, and absolutely hate any form of violence against women.

ulrikesponagel avatar
Stephanie IV
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This seems to be very true where I live. I have yet to meet a man that would speak or act in a way where I’d feel they were shaming anybody for lots of consensual sex or make light of rape.

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j_f_ avatar
J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that's based more on perception- a lot of the average everyday men not only shame but will speak heavily against rapists.

nadinebamberger avatar
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's more about what they consider rape. There's still this "she asked for it/didn't explicitly cry no/no shame in snagging a drunk girl" consent thing going on.

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elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago

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very rarely (actually never) i've had a friend or even an acquaintance that i knew of he raped a woman. But i like to believe i would not treat him any more as normal as before if i did knew of such a thing. Not sure shaming him would be the thing i would actually choose to do.

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Jason Boling
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If a man knows another man is a rapist he'll get plenty of shame from other men. That is especially true in prison.

easyra avatar
Nope IWont
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just want to point out that rapists routinely get beaten and abused in prison. It's so common that they automatically get put in protective custody in a lot of institutions. Most men DO NOT like rapists.

samfaour avatar
Sam Faour
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you really think most men associate with known rapists and overlook/celebrate them for raping women? I've never met anyone like that and to be brutally honest I think rapists should be killed.

colinmatthews avatar
Colin Matthews
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um how could you possibly know that? I don't know a single man who is built that wsy

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ljdia avatar
Lj
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it’s about consensual casual sex? And being called a s**t for it. :/

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I call BS. How do men know which women are engaging in a lot of consensual sex? Do those women broadcast it? Or are they simply methodically working their way through a certain group of men? So where are they getting that information? How many times have you seen a rapist hanging out with lots of friends? Rapists don't have friends just like paedophiles don't have friends. Would you be their friend? Think about it. Men have close relationships with women; sister, mother, aunt, grandma, wife, girlfriend, niece etc.. Whenever an attack happens, those people are the first that a man thinks of. Men worry about women ALL THE TIME. To suggest that we don't is ridiculous. Men discuss their peers and 100% of the groups of men that I have been a part of have outright condemned offenders. As a man, I can tell you this for a fact. Men hate rapists, sex offenders, muggers and paedophiles just like women do. Do you really think we make friends with rapists? Come on. BS

missal_warrior_0c avatar
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hon, at my school a girl killed herself because a boy put her stuff up on hookup websites, porn, etc… because she WOULDN’T f**k him. He and his cronies then proceeded to mercilessly harass and cyber-stalk her for being a “sIut.” So, that’s how. Asshat.

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Dan Steely
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is unfair. I know several women that have been raped and talked about it. Not at all denying it’s even more common than most men realize. But I can’t imagine any man talking to his friends like, “Dude, I raped that chic so hard!” Doesn’t happen. I have no way of knowing a friend or acquaintance raped someone unless their victim puts them because they’re not going to tell me. If I did find out, I’d turn him in, beat the living daylights out of him and never associate with him again. Even if he thought it wasn’t rape and simply described an experience I recognized as rape, I’d do the same. And I’m not some woke, young pup. Over 50 and grew up with a lot of misogynistic influence to overcome. Still working on that but rape, date rape, force in any way or simply not taking no for an answer has NEVER been acceptable.

abdk333 avatar
K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men make excuses for other men all the time. We aren't believed by other men bc they just can't believe their friend or athlete or great actor or president could actually rape a woman. Men made excuse after excuse for trump who even said he sexually assaults women on more than one video. Men still said oh he was just talking. That's absolute bullshit. If your friends treat women like s**t odds are they've raped someone. If any of your friends are abusive odds are they raped someone. It's not uncommon. 97% of women are sexually abused in some way in their lifetime it's not all the same man.

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Nikki Owens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How would you freaking know this? I mean, it's a ridiculous statement. How do you know how much men shame people for these things?

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GenXandEarnedItAll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always thought that rape cases should be sealed like custody/visitation or anything involving a juvenile. Thay way the woman doesn't get shamed and harassed and if the woman is lying it doesn't ruin the man's life.

dillonhughes avatar
Dillon Hughes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yea this has so be a joke! Oh lady you sleep around a lot let's get out of here and bang! Oh this guy raped someone and nothing? Ha ha so stupid

gerry1of1 avatar
Gerry Higgins
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of men are you hanging out with. Where I come from if we learn he's raped someone we kick his ass then call the cops. Is that "shaming" enough ?

levpertsov avatar
Lev Pertsov
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And where exactly did you get that from? Rape is a crime and rapists belong in jails. I don't even think I ever had conversation about rape with other men.

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Tommy Edison
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is f****n nonsense.. you bitches need therapy for real

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An Co
Community Member
2 years ago

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I have never once seen a man shame a woman for having a lot of consensual sex. Not once. I have seen other WOMAN shame them for that, but not one man. I have seen men hit on a girl and call her a s**t when she says no. But he is not shaming her for having sex, he is trying to maker her feel bad for rejecting him.

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Flip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A total idiot says that if she rejects him after the sex he pushed on her, if she's not a virgin.

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Brendan
Community Member
2 years ago

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That's absolute nonsense! How does she imagine men talk? Like, "Dude, you raped that girl last night?" "Yeah, bruh." "Das cool. Just be sure not to shame women for having a lot on consensual sex."

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago

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Men shame men as much as they shame women. It’s the subject of the shaming that’s all messed up

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Legen ( wait for it ) dary
Community Member
2 years ago

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Unpopular opinion here. B Women do to if they're not in early 20s. Not many women will admit that they have one night stands, specially if you are a single mother who not looking for a relationship and most of friends are married and with kids. How many girls don't tell about rape because they will be ashamed of their girls friends ?

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#26

This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!

This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!

jfk31989 Report

#27

Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!

Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!

_xyoungbellax_ , iamaroadtrip Report

#28

Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To

Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To

Lucifers_Treasurer Report

#29

The Message

The Message

Brown_chick45 Report

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Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Choose to empower your kids by considering them now and in the future. Spot on

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#30

Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum

Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum

sassyheather Report

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ZooMom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband stayed with our kids as infants while I worked. Everyone went on and on about how amazing he was (and he was) but then we switched roles this past year and I hear how “lucky I am to GET to stay home” and how bad they feel he works long hours. B****! I pumped breast milk on the floor of a unisex bathroom while still taking phone calls.

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#31

Why Are Males?

Why Are Males?

MarbleWorld , EazyBreezyJay Report

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Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would call him out, get management and then call the cops! Effing dirty slob.

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#32

Leave Him In The Dust

Leave Him In The Dust

cinderella_rising , efowlz Report

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some time it bothers me, some women think they don't have a choice because they are in love.

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#33

This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys

This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys

elementalvirago , sarahradz_ Report

#34

Keep Your Friends Safe!

Keep Your Friends Safe!

reddit.com , AthenaBozios Report

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#35

Used Or New, We Will Run You Over

Used Or New, We Will Run You Over

reddit.com Report

#36

Thoughts?

Thoughts?

liondale , BIndlovukazi Report

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BingeFest1
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I ever actually find somebody I'd want to marry I would never propose with anybody around. I would want to eliminate any peer pressure and create an intimate environment

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#37

Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos

Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos

reddit.com Report

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Xottel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not about locating the witness. It's about scaring the bad guy by becoming a potential witness. Some women even resort to making fake calls on their way home. I'd say it stops at least some horrible people so that's an improvement.

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#38

Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him

Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him

Zayelle Report

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Ana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still think Anne of Cleves got the best deal. She didn't have to remain married to Henry VIII and even got a sweet castle and money to boot and she never ever had to get married again.

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#39

Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)

Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)

therebellioustiger Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the guy who yells "hey pretty lady" and approaches a woman they don't know, and when she "walks fast" to get away or tells him to stop, she has a "bad attitude"

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#40

Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence

Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence

Shefthegooddog , iamsedem_ Report

#41

Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support

Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support

Journalist_Full , BridgieCasey Report

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fire bug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ummmm... my wife and I support our family. I work long hours. My wife takes care of 90% of the household stuff. I clean the kitchen every night and get home by dinner time every night to have family time with her and our kids. I don't support her and she doesn't support me. We support each other.

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#43

Tea

Tea

Descendant_of_Innana , skatingstoned Report

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QueenMiri
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women who could tell stories about crazy ex boyfriends rarely make it out alive. That's why you only hear about crazy ex girlfriends.

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#44

Seriously

Seriously

normabelka2 Report

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Guido Pisano
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

helping your wife means that most of the job is on her shoulder. I prefer say that I do my part...

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#45

Reminder

Reminder

tahliaw , brownandbella Report

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J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a misanthrope- I actually enjoy to not have to deal with somebody on a daily basis. I must be a quite rare man according to this article

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#46

We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault

We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault

MysteriousLife7 Report

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Zephyr Anthem
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True if you date a self centered douche who doesn't care about your pleasure...

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#47

Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women

Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women

Twohagsover30 Report

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Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about any 'bro code'. But any friend of mine cheating on his SO (also probably a friend of mine by association) and expecting me to keep it a secret isn't really my friend.

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#50

*internal Screaming, Forever*

*internal Screaming, Forever*

anonymous , NikkiCallowayy Report

Note: this post originally had 79 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.