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Dating and relationships are difficult even on a good day. And good days are pretty rare. Unfortunately, that is the reality everyone lives in when navigating the romantic world. Especially women. But at least they have a place to vent.
The subreddit r/FemaleDatingStrategy has 175K members (or as it calls them, queens), constantly discussing their love lives, and that includes all the nonsense that arises too. Continue scrolling and check out what they have to say.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Men Only Bringing The Audacity, Yet Again, To The Table!
BlackestDawn 4 years ago
Took me a sec to realize it, but good going. You have to consider yourself first.
To help you get a better understanding of these posts, Bored Panda got in touch with dating coach, 2 million view TED speaker, and media personality Hayley Quinn. She believes that "dating is different for men and women. However, you'd be wrong to think that one gender has it easy."
"Instead men and women often face equal and opposite problems to one another," Quinn said. "Guys might struggle to think of how to approach a woman, and women (who traditionally and maybe wrongly) have been told they can't make the first move and so panic over where they can find all the guys that want to approach them."
RELATED:
#2
Say It Louder For The People In The Back!!
#3
Poetic Justice
In the world of online dating, Quinn also sees noticeable disparities. "Guys may feel like they're having to move heaven and earth to get one lousy response from a woman, whilst women can feel overwhelmed and harassed by unsuitable suitors," she explained. "Men could usually learn from women that they need to have higher standards for the women they interact with, and women could take a leaf out of men's dating and learn how they too can be proactive."
#4
Some Men Need To Learn This
BingeFest1 4 years ago (edited)
This goes for everybody. Treat others the way you want to be treated
#5
“Nudes?” He Asked Hopefully
In 2020, the Pew Research Center surveyed Americans to find out more about their love life. While single-and-looking men and women reported equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women were more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.
Most women who were single and looking to date (65%) said they have experienced at least one of six harassing behaviors asked about in the survey from someone they were dating or had been on a date with, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.
#6
Oops
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago
When you made an effort and treated her well and when you just stopped.
#7
Stop Normalizing Men’s Immaturity
"Though men might think women have guys queuing up to date them (which sounds great right?) in reality women face plenty of dating challenges," Quinn said. "They may feel emotionally drained by dating, as they push through dates where they don't feel a connection. If they're seeking a relationship they may struggle to tell which guy's going to be in for the long haul, and who will disappear at the first inkling of commitment. They may even not know how to get offline and actually meet men in real life; and get stuck in the belief that all the 'good men' have run out, and it's impossible to meet someone."
The dating coach added that women also face significantly more judgement around things like their age, which can be a challenge on dating apps; and more scrutiny for expressing their sexuality. "So don't think that just because she's got a queue of potential suitors that she's not having a hard time dating."
We all can be douches to one another. Let's not.
#8
That Really Puts It In Perspective
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago
And it's always on us, don't dress that way, don't walk there, don't provoke. When it happens we didn't fight enough, fought too hard, didn't say no, didn't mean it when we said it. If we report it we get blamed, re traumatized by questions and rape kits that are then left untouched, called liars.
#9
Lol
I am avoiding my homework 4 years ago
Agree entirely and this is one of the reasons I hate Disney movies
#11
100% True For Me
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
I feel a drop off interest on men (thanks a lot) when I say my husband is a police officer or a jujitsu master.
#13
Cracks Me Up Every Time
#14
They Will Always Make “Single Mothers” The Villains To Shift Blame From Male Predators Or Male Parental Child Neglect
#15
Speaks For Itself
#16
Perfect Way To Deal With Their “Jokes”
#17
Be A Hvm In All Aspects Of Life
Rachel Peterson 4 years ago
I always support the allies, reminding them how much I value them.
#18
How Many Of You “Developed” Issues While In A Relationship? I’ll Go First: Depression And Anxiety. Cured As Soon As We Broke Up
#20
Hvm Right There. Take Note Scrotes
#22
Nothing But Truth
#24
Being Decent Isn’t Difficult
#25
Geee I Wonder Why
#26
This Almost Makes Me Want To Redownload Dating Apps To Do The Same!
#27
Even A 35 Yo Man Has These Same Meltdowns But They're The Logical Sex!!!
#28
Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted To
#29
The Message
#30
Mom Praising Son-In-Law For The Bare Minimum
ZooMom 4 years ago
My husband stayed with our kids as infants while I worked. Everyone went on and on about how amazing he was (and he was) but then we switched roles this past year and I hear how “lucky I am to GET to stay home” and how bad they feel he works long hours. B****! I pumped breast milk on the floor of a unisex bathroom while still taking phone calls.
#31
Why Are Males?
#32
Leave Him In The Dust
#33
This Is Why We Can’t Even Trust The “Good” Guys
Mariette Ferreira 4 years ago
And then people ask why I prefer to stay home with a drink and a book.
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QueenMiri 4 years ago (edited)
He deemed you worthy of respect and her not. As if he has any power to decide that. Sick monster. May she rest in peace 🕊.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Probably he deemed it safer from being persecuted when murdering a stranger than someone he was known (and seen) to be friends with.
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Sarah 4 years ago
I wish I could give you a second upvote for not putting an apostrophe in Bundys. ;-)
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Lola 4 years ago
One of the nicest guys I talked to (at least I thought so at the time), was someone who had served time for sexually molesting his daughter for years. I had no idea until someone told me about it. Boy, did he put on a show when it came to acting all nice and proper. Never spoke to him again after that.
Noel Bovae 4 years ago
People like that should never be allowed back into society!
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Had something similar happen. Guy at work asked me out. He was really nice, we got along great, so I decided to say yes. He picked me up at home, including coming to my door and not just honking his car horn. He opened the car door for me, opened the restaurant door for me, kept the dinner conversation polite, didn’t press for a goodnight kiss (I had decided I wasn’t attracted in any way but platonic). He was a proper and perfect gentleman the whole evening. Two weeks later, he was arrested for raping another woman he was on a date with. Why he was a gentleman to me and not her, I will never know.
Jon S. 4 years ago
By a landslide. I read an article by a feminist organisation critiquing the current media focus on street violence when the vast majority of violence against women takes place in their own home. They said it feeds the patriarchal narrative that women are vulnerable and need constant male protection.
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Mimi777 4 years ago
My best friend went on a few dates with a guy she met through mutual friends. He was polite and sweet. so they started hanging out more and more until she didn’t hear from him for a couple days, her other friend sent her an article about him being arrested for sexual abuse and sodomy of a minor, the girl was 13 years old, he’s 26.
Noel Bovae 4 years ago
The thing is, a killer (even a serial killer,) doesn't kill every single person they come across. A rapist doesn't rape every single time they have the opportunity. Most of these people are going to seem like nice, unsuspecting people 99% of the time. That's what's so scary about these kinds of people. You never know who's one of them, and you never know when they'll decide to strike. Please be safe out there, ladies! Keep your guard up, take a self defense class, be hyper-aware when you're out and about, don't have your head down staring at your phone, and put up the fight of your life if someone is ever trying to snatch you. It's better to die then and there fighting, than peacefully go with them and be raped and tortured for years.
Tracy Sellars 4 years ago
WTF?????? Reminds me of Anne Rule (writer) working for a counseling hotline. Her coworker was a lovely kind man. Caring and fantastic listener. Type of man you would want your daughters to date. He coworker was Ted Bundy. You don't always really know people.
DDmaybeandor 4 years ago
Been there. Not the exact same situation but I too have trusted a co-worker who turned out to be a serial child rapist.
Liz the Wanderer 4 years ago
As a lesbian who has experienced rape and sexual threat from men, my approach is all men are rapists until proven otherwise. It's like cops. If the good ones held the bad ones accountable, our country would be a very different place to live.
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
Well I'm glad you're alright at least! You could have easily been killed that night! I really hope none of my male friends are old enough to be real murderers yet...
Kay blue 4 years ago
Two children aged 8 and 10 killed a two year old boy. Sadly a murderer can be any age.
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AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
Holy SHHHHHH they do say you'll walk past 36 murders in your life time....give or take how many people you walk by (new), how well traveled you are etc.... so yup and you walked WITH one.
Ivy at Eve 2 years ago
My brothers used to take it personally when I was being cautious for instance not letting my drink out of sight or finishing it in one go on large and mixed events. Told them: yes, I know, not all men but it is not as if they are wearing a label and trusting the wrong man can have serious consequences.
Tommy Edison 4 years ago
nobody ever said he was a good guy... and who knows the story... maybe the "sex worker" was trying to rob and kill him... talk about extreme
Riley S. B-Dion 4 years ago
Uhhhh... I think you're a bro, because that statement is sus AF. Sometimes no matter how long you've known a man, time does not mean that you truly know the human. Family, friends, spouses, partners, anyone: you know what they show you, not what they are capable of.
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Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Sex workers are at a very high risk of exactly this happening. He exploited her relative helplessness and the fact they mostly work at night. It's worth mentioning.
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Jessica Bertram 4 years ago
no, we don't, except to wonder why men allow themselves to get scooped up by such misogynistic, hateful rhetoric. Men Going Their Own Way is not , NOT a support group, it's a tidy moniker just this side of incel-dom. And hate groups that ARE terrorist-breeders recruit heavily from the message boards of MGTOW, like the Oath Keepers, 3 percenters and Proud Boys. so keep your misdirected misogyny and hate to yourself, thanks.
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#34
Keep Your Friends Safe!
#35
Used Or New, We Will Run You Over
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
Please tell me he is a virgin too. Ask for what you can also offer.
#36
Thoughts?
BingeFest1 4 years ago
If I ever actually find somebody I'd want to marry I would never propose with anybody around. I would want to eliminate any peer pressure and create an intimate environment
#37
Instead Of Holding Rapists/Harassers Accountable, He Mocks Women For Trying To Protect Themselves. A True Pos
#38
Henry Viii's Wives If They'd Never Met Him
#39
Thought This Belongs Here. (From Selfawarewolves... Men Are So Close, I Can't Decide If They're Ignorant On Purpose Or Genuinely Can't Grasp Basic Concepts)
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Sounds like the guy who yells "hey pretty lady" and approaches a woman they don't know, and when she "walks fast" to get away or tells him to stop, she has a "bad attitude"
#40
Being In You 20’s Should Be About Self Development, Your Eduction And To Lay The Foundation For Financial Independence
#41
Most Stay-At-Moms Do Not Get The Luxury Of Building A Career, Or Even The Luxury Of A Personal Life This Is How Women End Up In A Financial Trap With No Support
fire bug 4 years ago
Ummmm... my wife and I support our family. I work long hours. My wife takes care of 90% of the household stuff. I clean the kitchen every night and get home by dinner time every night to have family time with her and our kids. I don't support her and she doesn't support me. We support each other.
#42
Say It Louder For These Predatory Men!
#43
Tea
#44
Seriously
Guido Pisano 4 years ago
helping your wife means that most of the job is on her shoulder. I prefer say that I do my part...
#45
Reminder
#46
We Used To Think We Were Always At Fault
Zephyr Anthem 4 years ago
True if you date a self centered douche who doesn't care about your pleasure...
#47
Women Protect Women From Harm. Men Protect Other Men's Ability To Lie, Cheat, And Knowingly Harm Women
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
I don't know about any 'bro code'. But any friend of mine cheating on his SO (also probably a friend of mine by association) and expecting me to keep it a secret isn't really my friend.
#48
Never Settle For Less Than You Deserve
#49
It Never Ends
#50
*internal Screaming, Forever*
#51
Be That Kind Of Direct, Lol!
Kari Panda 4 years ago
Eh, careful with that. There are enough wannabe sugar daddies out there who‘d gladly take you up on that.
#52
Wow
alwaysMispelled 4 years ago
Why do I have trust issues? Being cheated on repeatedly, repeated gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. Oh, and the flat out lying.
#54
Imagine: It’s Your Life
#55
100% Accurate. Never Let It Slide
#56
Women Are 6x More Likely To End Up Divorced If They Are Diagnosed With Cancer Or Ms, Than If Their Male Partners Were Facing The Same Illness
#57
Please Share Stories Of Some Weirdly Specific Rules You Set After *that* One Guy
#58
Never Let Them Get Comfortable!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Can opener in our house. And since I cook from scratch, I don't need it, but he would!
#59
We All Know Why
#60
Ladies, Let’s All Do Our Best To Teach The Next Generation Of Women This. While Sexual Adultification Affects Young Black Women The Most, It Definitely Occurs To Young Women Of All Backgrounds
#61
'compromise!!'
#62
Love A Good Roast
#63
A Trend I've Noticed Among Lvm
#64
If You Catch Feelings Easily, This Might Help! Stay Strong!
#65
Psa: As Soon As Man Says That, Run The Opposite Direction Sis. This Is Red Flag. Manipulation
#66
It Do Be Like That
Kari Panda 4 years ago
The first time I met my now husband, I was wearing socks with holes (grew up poor and had been wearing socks with holes my whole life). He teased me about it and then brought me a pair of his own socks to wear :)
#67
Potent
Anna Banana 4 years ago
"Women feel like they don't need men anymore" is precisely what went right with this generation!
#68
Facts
Pheebs 4 years ago
I have so much respect for the middle school I attended. All genders took tech class (basically wood shop, with a bit of electronics mixed in) for 9 weeks every school year, and all took home ec where they learned to cook, sew by hand, and eventually use a sewing machine. Skill was not based on gender - it was based on the effort you put in.
#69
Reason #6567 Why Being Single Is Better Than Settling
#70
Exactly
#71
Enough Said
#72
So Glad He Is Her Ex
#73
Made Me Chuckle. Accurate!
#74
Girlfriends/Wives Are Not On The List Of In-Network Therapists
#75
Mic Drop
Thorfin Wolfsbane 4 years ago
all things aside, i love to see you're and your used appropriately
#76
This Is Nice But If You’re On A Date At Hooters It’s Already Not Going Well
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
It's already good enough they have this. Hope in a women's toilet.
#77
My Wish For 2021 And Beyond Is That More Women Realise That They Don’t Have To Put Up With Callous, Selfish Behaviour In Their Relationships
#78
For Real Though
#79
That’s Gonna Be A No From Me
Add New Image
What do you think ?
SumoNinja 4 years ago
If you read an article like this and think "but it isn't all men, I'm not like that" don't blame women, blame the 40% of men who are ruining it for everyone else, male and female. Also realize that your hurt feelings are nothing compared to a lifetime of fear and being treated as an inferior person or disposable object.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
And f*****g SPEAK UP when your male buddies are talking and acting like assholes, douches, perverts, creeps, and potential rapists, and call them out for it. Publicly. Make it socially unacceptable. If they get called out and publicly shamed for it——every single time they try it—-maybe they’ll think twice about doing it again. If they don’t stop, then just drop them as a friend, and go find better quality people to hang out with.
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Kaori Panda 4 years ago
For the record here, r/FemaleDatingStategy is not a very, uh, liked subereddit because oftentimes there is a lot of things said about men like "who cares if men have mental health problems" and such. I agree with all these screenshots, but the subreddit that the came off of isn't the best. There are a lot of entitled people on there, which is sad because the sub could have been a really positive and supportive place.
Random Panda 4 years ago
I spent all of 5 minutes in that subreddit and saw so much sexist and misandrist crap, I never went back. That sub is utter trash.
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Julie 4 years ago
Talking on your phone /texting and wearing earbuds while walking alone is not safe.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
They’re often not playing music with those earphones in, and never not keeping their ears and eyes open to their surroundings while on the phone.
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Gabrielle Daylano 4 years ago
I made a profile on something like tinder. Oh the things I have seen 😅... I said on my profile that I'm bi. This man started with do you f*ck my ex? Well, first who the heck is you're ex and why are you bothering me with this. And that I was probably not because I wouldn't fall for the types of girls that falls for him. He said my attitude is the same as his ex and blocked me 🤣 well, I wonder why girls have an attitude with you 🤔
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Oh dear XD. I'm bi too! But that dude was a jerk. (I think I'll just stay away from dating apps).
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Rae Reyn 4 years ago
If you ask my daughter the way to a man's heart, she'll say "between the 4th and 5th ribs". She'll also tell you what we say to death is "not today"
PenitentEyeball 4 years ago
I hate the fact that men are learning this! All men should know the way women feel! And they should listen to women!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
If the data backs it up, is it really a generalization? No. No, not really.
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Donny Cromwell 4 years ago
For 17 years I tried my best to set a good example for my daughter on how someone treats someone they love. Her choice for a boyfriend helps me feel that I did a good job.
Q B F T 4 years ago
Imagine that all the time for decades starting from when You're about 11 or 12 and not just from one man but from many - from any. And that would still be a much better than average experience, because like you say, your guy never actually did anything.
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that one Harry Potter girl 4 years ago
97% of women have been sexually assaulted. It's not "a few affected". It's the majority of women. I'm lucky it isn't me, and I genuinely fear that it will be one day. Ignoring people and being aggressive is how people save their life, perhaps they are happily married and kind, but perhaps this is the day I become the new Sarah Everard. I'm not willing to play russian roulette with 5 bullets in the gun. Men do not get assaulted nearly as much, and it's usually other men that do it. This is not an equal issue. Men's issues exist and should be talked about, but not in order to silence women's. Just as we have BLM, stop asian hate, climate change strikes, me too, and many others, we can talk about men's issues in a way that doesn't damage women's.
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Anna Banana 4 years ago
Bored Panda is not a writer, it's a website where everyone can contribute. Nobody is stopping you from writing that post about women assaulting men in kilts. But you don't get to tell other contributors what they should find important to write about.
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Alex Luiz 4 years ago
But it's not even attacking men, that's what baffles me about this comment section. How is asking a short, ugly man if he has ever asked out a short, ugly woman attacking all men?! You only feel attacked if you have done something from this list, and you only need feel attacked if you haven't learned better and still do this stuff.
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lazy panda 4 years ago
Literally no one is saying we are. All we want is respect, to feel safe, to not be used repeatedly, and not have our lives threatened for telling a man "no".
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Aradia Sayner 4 years ago
As another Gen Xer, I have to disagree. I was harassed both in public and at work. I was groomed by a 29 year old man when I was 16. This has very little to do with what generation you were born into. My guess is you were just lucky.
Load More Replies... Iapetos 4 years ago
Because it's an issue that makes many, many women miserable. It needs to be talked about.
Load More Replies...
SumoNinja 4 years ago
If you read an article like this and think "but it isn't all men, I'm not like that" don't blame women, blame the 40% of men who are ruining it for everyone else, male and female. Also realize that your hurt feelings are nothing compared to a lifetime of fear and being treated as an inferior person or disposable object.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
And f*****g SPEAK UP when your male buddies are talking and acting like assholes, douches, perverts, creeps, and potential rapists, and call them out for it. Publicly. Make it socially unacceptable. If they get called out and publicly shamed for it——every single time they try it—-maybe they’ll think twice about doing it again. If they don’t stop, then just drop them as a friend, and go find better quality people to hang out with.
Load More Replies... Kaori Panda 4 years ago
For the record here, r/FemaleDatingStategy is not a very, uh, liked subereddit because oftentimes there is a lot of things said about men like "who cares if men have mental health problems" and such. I agree with all these screenshots, but the subreddit that the came off of isn't the best. There are a lot of entitled people on there, which is sad because the sub could have been a really positive and supportive place.
Random Panda 4 years ago
I spent all of 5 minutes in that subreddit and saw so much sexist and misandrist crap, I never went back. That sub is utter trash.
Load More Replies... Julie 4 years ago
Talking on your phone /texting and wearing earbuds while walking alone is not safe.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
They’re often not playing music with those earphones in, and never not keeping their ears and eyes open to their surroundings while on the phone.
Load More Replies... Gabrielle Daylano 4 years ago
I made a profile on something like tinder. Oh the things I have seen 😅... I said on my profile that I'm bi. This man started with do you f*ck my ex? Well, first who the heck is you're ex and why are you bothering me with this. And that I was probably not because I wouldn't fall for the types of girls that falls for him. He said my attitude is the same as his ex and blocked me 🤣 well, I wonder why girls have an attitude with you 🤔
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Oh dear XD. I'm bi too! But that dude was a jerk. (I think I'll just stay away from dating apps).
Load More Replies... Rae Reyn 4 years ago
If you ask my daughter the way to a man's heart, she'll say "between the 4th and 5th ribs". She'll also tell you what we say to death is "not today"
PenitentEyeball 4 years ago
I hate the fact that men are learning this! All men should know the way women feel! And they should listen to women!
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
If the data backs it up, is it really a generalization? No. No, not really.
Load More Replies... Donny Cromwell 4 years ago
For 17 years I tried my best to set a good example for my daughter on how someone treats someone they love. Her choice for a boyfriend helps me feel that I did a good job.
Q B F T 4 years ago
Imagine that all the time for decades starting from when You're about 11 or 12 and not just from one man but from many - from any. And that would still be a much better than average experience, because like you say, your guy never actually did anything.
Load More Replies... that one Harry Potter girl 4 years ago
97% of women have been sexually assaulted. It's not "a few affected". It's the majority of women. I'm lucky it isn't me, and I genuinely fear that it will be one day. Ignoring people and being aggressive is how people save their life, perhaps they are happily married and kind, but perhaps this is the day I become the new Sarah Everard. I'm not willing to play russian roulette with 5 bullets in the gun. Men do not get assaulted nearly as much, and it's usually other men that do it. This is not an equal issue. Men's issues exist and should be talked about, but not in order to silence women's. Just as we have BLM, stop asian hate, climate change strikes, me too, and many others, we can talk about men's issues in a way that doesn't damage women's.
Load More Replies... Anna Banana 4 years ago
Bored Panda is not a writer, it's a website where everyone can contribute. Nobody is stopping you from writing that post about women assaulting men in kilts. But you don't get to tell other contributors what they should find important to write about.
Load More Replies... Alex Luiz 4 years ago
But it's not even attacking men, that's what baffles me about this comment section. How is asking a short, ugly man if he has ever asked out a short, ugly woman attacking all men?! You only feel attacked if you have done something from this list, and you only need feel attacked if you haven't learned better and still do this stuff.
Load More Replies... lazy panda 4 years ago
Literally no one is saying we are. All we want is respect, to feel safe, to not be used repeatedly, and not have our lives threatened for telling a man "no".
Load More Replies... Aradia Sayner 4 years ago
As another Gen Xer, I have to disagree. I was harassed both in public and at work. I was groomed by a 29 year old man when I was 16. This has very little to do with what generation you were born into. My guess is you were just lucky.
Load More Replies... Iapetos 4 years ago
Because it's an issue that makes many, many women miserable. It needs to be talked about.
Load More Replies...
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