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Wisdom comes with age. So sometimes looking back at your past decisions, especially mistakes, can be really hard. Despite the fact that we can't change the past, the future is still in our hands. When trying to figure out what we want this future to look like it helps to seek advice from the elder generation.
Writer and university professor Nyasha Junior turned to Twitter to ask women in their 40's what advice they would give to their 20-something selves. The number of responses she received was overwhelming and all of them served an important purpose. The advice all these women gave not only allowed them to reflect on their own lives, but also gave young women the opportunity to learn some important life lessons. Scroll below to read some of these tweets and don't forget to leave your own in the comments! (Facebook cover image: Michael Gabelmann)
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#4
Kathy Baylis 7 years ago
Very true. Bad boys make exciting boyfriends, but p**s poor husbands and fathers. Play with them, sure. But never, ever marry them or have kids with them. (And I do not apologize if my statements step on anyone's toes. Too effing bad.)
Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
So then it’s false. She says they aren’t fun or sexy. You’re saying they are fun to play with.
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Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
But they are exactly fun and sexy. That’s the attraction. But they are ONLY fun and sexy. They ARENT smart, loyal, kind, gentle, giving, or sweet. They are only fun and sexy.
SirWriteALot 7 years ago
And yet some of my friends can't seem to live without the drama. Sad.
Marzena Helena Leino 7 years ago
Oh my oh my, this should be #1 and all the same the young girls would make the same mistake as long as the time and world last... :)
Kathy Baylis 7 years ago
Meyer, if you are truly good, there's someone out there who will appreciate you, so just be patient. However, if you're making your comment because you're an incel, then I hate to tell you, but the only person who'll ever f**k you is yourself.
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#8
#14
#22
Hurrem Haseki 7 years ago
"Compliment yourself more, like you would a friend"....this is an eye-opener for me
#25
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
Oh, I wish I had that ten years ago: "If someone makes you feel bad about yourself for something that hurts no one..."
#26
Lady_Youtube 7 years ago
I love how this also focuses on health. Physical needs are just as important than emotional needs.
#27
#28
Dawn Welton 7 years ago
'This, too, shall pass' has been my lifelong mantra, and has gotten me through some of the roughest times!
#29
Nathan Winter 7 years ago
Actually, what I believe is being said, is that buying the highest quality that you can afford is better than buying the cheapest because it's less expensive and likely won't last as long. I speak from experience on this.
#30
Kristen Veader 7 years ago
OOOH I so love the second part of this!!! My new motto:" Be your own goldilocks". (nothing wrong with the first part... the second part just really hit home!)
#32
#35
Agnes Jekyll 7 years ago
I LOVE that "you don't have to set yourself on fire to keep anyone else warm"--ah yes, the entirety of my 10-year relationship with the dud
#40
#42
#45
Lady_Youtube 7 years ago
I guess what she wanted to say is simply "don't rush". Like, try living with a few men before you find the one for you - Daria B (Just wanted to “repost” this for the people who don’t scroll all the way down)
#47
#53
#54
Jacqueline Lavanchy 7 years ago
Oh so true ! Be the captain of your life ! Love yourself, you are your best friend !
#57
Isabel Care 7 years ago
Be your own version of "normal", it takes far less energy than faking "average"
#60
#63
BusLady 7 years ago
The reason people fear aging, is because it is a youth oriented society and you are judged by what you look like. You are often disrespected and sometimes spoken to as if you are a child. Your feelings and needs are often ignored. You are regarded as if you are useless. All of this stems from the fear younger people have of their own aging. Ignore all of that and save your self esteem. Join the Red Hat Club.
#64
Isabel Care 7 years ago
If you do want kids (not me at all) there are loads of different ways to have a family. You don't have to grow them yourself, there are millions of children out there pre made and awaiting a parent
#71
2WheelTravlr 7 years ago
I'm not a fan of this one. You are definitely not required to smile, but using your indoor voice, playing fair (even when others are not) and waiting your turn means you're a polite person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, and plenty right about it. I would say, be polite, but fierce in defending your rights.
#72
Gwinevere von Ludwig 7 years ago
Ummm not everyone needs therapy. Or am I just not understanding this one?
#74
#75
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What do you think ?
NoYFB 7 years ago
Have as much sex you want. Women are allowed to enjoy and have fun. If someone thinks you are a s**t, that's their problem. Just be you, have fun, you'll learn a lot about yourself and you'll know "Mr. Right" when you see him because of your experiences.
Nikki D 7 years ago
Man, I wish I had had wayyy more sex when I was younger and more in shape!
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Peggy Hinshaw 7 years ago
My note to younger self: you do not have to be with a man to be whole. You do not have to have children. It's OK to be alone.
Simon Rushton 7 years ago
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" You can't please everyone, you can't fix everything.
Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
Wish I had learned this sooner. I’m in my early 30’s but I feel like I threw away my 20’s.
Load More Replies... 
Night Owl 7 years ago
Spend less time on the internet and more time really living. Mmm....yeah.....about that...... :(
diane a 7 years ago
whats the internet - have been banned from facebook for months
Load More Replies...
Shari H 7 years ago
My message to 20-year-old me: Save for retirement now, $5 today won't hurt now but will help later. Make time for your parents and grandparents, you don't get the wasted time back. Take control of your own health, ask questions and trust your instincts. Doctors are overworked, and while they usually mean well, they do not know or see everything. Asking for another opinion is okay. If you do not try, you have already failed. Have faith in yourself. And even though you can't draw a straight line, pick up that paintbrush now, turns out that you love to paint!
RJ Oliver 7 years ago
There's nothing shameful in asking for help. Food and alcohol are not solutions, they're symptoms. Spend more time with her, she'll be gone soon. Rejection is only one person saying no, it's not the end of the world.
Luisa Vasconcelos 7 years ago
Thanks so much for this peaces,it's really not the end of the world.😥😊
Load More Replies...
Linouchka 99 7 years ago
Don't skip the music lessons. Chose a sport that you have fun at. Don't try to fix your relationship with your sister, you can't.
Naomi Armitage 7 years ago
My whole life, I've been told I was overweight, so when I was 20, I thought I was a huge fatty. I'm almost 50, and that turned out to be the thinnest I've ever been in my adult life. So, yeah, I'd tell 20-year-old me that she's beautiful just the way she is (was).
Cami Ereth 7 years ago
Use a condom until you are in a committed/long-term relationship & he's been tested. It will keep you from getting HPV (decades before vaccine available) & will then allow you to keep your cervix/not have to have a hysterectomy/cancer scare. Use a f****** condom!
Luisa Vasconcelos 7 years ago
I feel very thankfull for this post.came just on the right moment. The kind of post to keep and open in case of hopeless and overwelming feeling.
JP 7 years ago (edited)
1. Learn how to negotiate and be a self-advocate. You will need this skill in jobs, relationships, business...life. Be confident in yourself. You are your best proponent. Learn to be direct, clear and firm about what you want in life. No one can read your mind. No one will promote wishy-washy or cute. 2. Start to save for retirement in your twenties. You may not think so now, but a secure retirement is everything. You don't want to work until you're 70 just to afford meds or bills. Plan to retire early, even if you don't. 3. If someone puts you down for a small thing, it won't be long before they will put you down for everything. Leave. You don't need that in your life. 4. You can take advice and counsel, but don't apologize for making your own decisions. Yours is the most important opinion in your life. 5. If you can't talk about anything to your partner, they are not the partner for you.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Take a step back from your mom's opinions and judgements. She may be too invested in her world-view to see yours clearly. You can be nice, and still not agree, comply, or buy in to her opinions.
Load More Replies...
Lynda Momalo 7 years ago
Don't mistake someone being horny for you for loving you, or even caring about you. If a married man is after you he does NOT think you are better than his wife. You're just there and willing. Someone who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
Kelly Harrold 7 years ago
Ask men the same question... wonder what the difference in answers will be
Gerry Higgins 7 years ago
I'd say "Never chase anyone. If they want you, they will come to you"
Babette McCurdy 7 years ago
Every new experience is a learning experience and sometimes it is how to not do something or how to not act.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Plus, your name indicates you're male. I hardly think you're subject to the same pressures regarding kids and careers as the woman who carries your child.
Rebecah Ozuna 7 years ago
Live for yourself and not for others and speak your mind regardless of who may complain. People love to complain others to earn points as if their lives depended on it, are nothing but attention wh*res.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Of all the people who are living, or who have ever lived, it's MY turn now! -Deborah Frances White
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
But not surprising, considering how society tells us a "love of our lives" is the most important thing.
Load More Replies... noitall man 7 years ago
almost all are terrible. apparently the best advice should be "you are your best right now and are only going to get worse as you age... in every way...
noitall man 7 years ago
Few of these are very good pieces of advice. Makes me think older women aren't going to get any better.
Vicky Zar 7 years ago
1. DO NOT EVER move in with your parents in law!!! 2. Don't study in that school. Its too expensive and a total waste of time! 3. Start having a family sooner.
Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
These are exactly the wrong things to do. Living with in laws is a good way to save money. Going to school isn’t a waste of time in most cases. People should consider not having a family at all or waiting until their late 30’s. It’s a bad idea to throw your life away to start living someone else’s at 25.
Load More Replies...
Leo Domitrix 7 years ago
Mine would boil down to: "Mom really is a good role model." (Who'd have thought it?!)
NoYFB 7 years ago
Have as much sex you want. Women are allowed to enjoy and have fun. If someone thinks you are a s**t, that's their problem. Just be you, have fun, you'll learn a lot about yourself and you'll know "Mr. Right" when you see him because of your experiences.
Nikki D 7 years ago
Man, I wish I had had wayyy more sex when I was younger and more in shape!
Load More Replies... Peggy Hinshaw 7 years ago
My note to younger self: you do not have to be with a man to be whole. You do not have to have children. It's OK to be alone.
Simon Rushton 7 years ago
"Not my circus, not my monkeys" You can't please everyone, you can't fix everything.
Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
Wish I had learned this sooner. I’m in my early 30’s but I feel like I threw away my 20’s.
Load More Replies... Night Owl 7 years ago
Spend less time on the internet and more time really living. Mmm....yeah.....about that...... :(
diane a 7 years ago
whats the internet - have been banned from facebook for months
Load More Replies... Shari H 7 years ago
My message to 20-year-old me: Save for retirement now, $5 today won't hurt now but will help later. Make time for your parents and grandparents, you don't get the wasted time back. Take control of your own health, ask questions and trust your instincts. Doctors are overworked, and while they usually mean well, they do not know or see everything. Asking for another opinion is okay. If you do not try, you have already failed. Have faith in yourself. And even though you can't draw a straight line, pick up that paintbrush now, turns out that you love to paint!
RJ Oliver 7 years ago
There's nothing shameful in asking for help. Food and alcohol are not solutions, they're symptoms. Spend more time with her, she'll be gone soon. Rejection is only one person saying no, it's not the end of the world.
Luisa Vasconcelos 7 years ago
Thanks so much for this peaces,it's really not the end of the world.😥😊
Load More Replies... Linouchka 99 7 years ago
Don't skip the music lessons. Chose a sport that you have fun at. Don't try to fix your relationship with your sister, you can't.
Naomi Armitage 7 years ago
My whole life, I've been told I was overweight, so when I was 20, I thought I was a huge fatty. I'm almost 50, and that turned out to be the thinnest I've ever been in my adult life. So, yeah, I'd tell 20-year-old me that she's beautiful just the way she is (was).
Cami Ereth 7 years ago
Use a condom until you are in a committed/long-term relationship & he's been tested. It will keep you from getting HPV (decades before vaccine available) & will then allow you to keep your cervix/not have to have a hysterectomy/cancer scare. Use a f****** condom!
Luisa Vasconcelos 7 years ago
I feel very thankfull for this post.came just on the right moment. The kind of post to keep and open in case of hopeless and overwelming feeling.
JP 7 years ago (edited)
1. Learn how to negotiate and be a self-advocate. You will need this skill in jobs, relationships, business...life. Be confident in yourself. You are your best proponent. Learn to be direct, clear and firm about what you want in life. No one can read your mind. No one will promote wishy-washy or cute. 2. Start to save for retirement in your twenties. You may not think so now, but a secure retirement is everything. You don't want to work until you're 70 just to afford meds or bills. Plan to retire early, even if you don't. 3. If someone puts you down for a small thing, it won't be long before they will put you down for everything. Leave. You don't need that in your life. 4. You can take advice and counsel, but don't apologize for making your own decisions. Yours is the most important opinion in your life. 5. If you can't talk about anything to your partner, they are not the partner for you.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Take a step back from your mom's opinions and judgements. She may be too invested in her world-view to see yours clearly. You can be nice, and still not agree, comply, or buy in to her opinions.
Load More Replies... Lynda Momalo 7 years ago
Don't mistake someone being horny for you for loving you, or even caring about you. If a married man is after you he does NOT think you are better than his wife. You're just there and willing. Someone who will cheat with you will cheat on you.
Kelly Harrold 7 years ago
Ask men the same question... wonder what the difference in answers will be
Gerry Higgins 7 years ago
I'd say "Never chase anyone. If they want you, they will come to you"
Babette McCurdy 7 years ago
Every new experience is a learning experience and sometimes it is how to not do something or how to not act.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Plus, your name indicates you're male. I hardly think you're subject to the same pressures regarding kids and careers as the woman who carries your child.
Rebecah Ozuna 7 years ago
Live for yourself and not for others and speak your mind regardless of who may complain. People love to complain others to earn points as if their lives depended on it, are nothing but attention wh*res.
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
Of all the people who are living, or who have ever lived, it's MY turn now! -Deborah Frances White
Hilliary Smith 7 years ago
But not surprising, considering how society tells us a "love of our lives" is the most important thing.
Load More Replies... noitall man 7 years ago
almost all are terrible. apparently the best advice should be "you are your best right now and are only going to get worse as you age... in every way...
noitall man 7 years ago
Few of these are very good pieces of advice. Makes me think older women aren't going to get any better.
Vicky Zar 7 years ago
1. DO NOT EVER move in with your parents in law!!! 2. Don't study in that school. Its too expensive and a total waste of time! 3. Start having a family sooner.
Meowton Mewsk 7 years ago
These are exactly the wrong things to do. Living with in laws is a good way to save money. Going to school isn’t a waste of time in most cases. People should consider not having a family at all or waiting until their late 30’s. It’s a bad idea to throw your life away to start living someone else’s at 25.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 7 years ago
Mine would boil down to: "Mom really is a good role model." (Who'd have thought it?!)
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