“Don’t Ever Be Afraid To Make Them Uncomfortable”: Woman Reveals How She Makes Men Take Her Seriously
Interview With Author
Women are paid 83 cents for every dollar men earn. But the daunting gender pay gap is not the only problem women face at work.
Misogyny is still well and alive in many men-driven workplaces where women employees are constantly undermined, frowned upon, mansplained to, and met with prejudice and stereotypes against their gender. In fact, less than half of working women feel they are treated equally to their male counterparts, the study showed.
Katie Tucci, a 30-year-old Juris Doctorate graduate with specialization in cryptocurrency regulation and financial technology recently released a video on her TikTok which amassed 3.7M views and became an internet hit.
In a video, Tucci shared practical tips from her experience on how to make men take her seriously in meetings. The caption underneath the video said: “Y’all wouldn’t believe the stories I could tell that have forced me to learn this stuff.”
And after you hear Tucci’s advice, you can totally feel all the uncomfortable scenarios not only she but countless women around the world have been in.
More info: Instagram | Linktr.ee/Kaytuc
Drawing from her own experience, Katie Tucci, a 30-year-old Juris Doctor, shared practical tips on ways to make men take her seriously in meetings
Image credits: kaytuc
Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Darina Belonogova (not the actual photo)
Image credits: kaytuc
Image credits: kay_tuc
Katie Tucci told Bored Panda that she was inspired to do the video after she had spent the previous night chatting with a young male member of her extended family about what her daily life as a woman is like.
“He was shocked and appalled when I listed off some of the things I mentioned in the video and said he did not realize that women still had to actively practice these behaviors,” Tucci told us.
“I thought it was important to draw attention to the fact that while we are all collectively working
toward a society that does not require women to modify themselves in order to be accepted in the workplace, we certainly are not there yet,” the woman behind the viral video explained.
When asked whether things like that happen to her often, Tucci confirmed that sadly it does. “I do think that there has been a progress in the professional sphere to improve equity, even since I entered the workforce in the mid-2010s. However, social spaces like bars, restaurants, and events are still rife with bad behavior,” Tucci said and added that she employs the things she discusses in the video as much in her personal life as she does in the workplace.
Here is Tucci’s viral video that amassed 3.7M views on TikTok
@kaytuc Y’all wouldn’t believe the stories I could tell that have forced me to learn this stuff 🙃 #etiquette #howto #womeninbusiness #professional #fyp #fypシ #seriouslythough ♬ original sound – katie
In order to learn to stand her ground in a male-driven misogynistic environment, Tucci said it took her many years of observation. “I am lucky to have worked alongside some incredible men and women who modeled behavior like that I describe on Tiktok. The ability to be around people who actively worked to shut down misogyny and exclusionary behavior helped me develop my own strategies for addressing it.”
“When I first entered the professional sphere, I found that it was rare for anyone to listen to my perspectives or take any advice I gave seriously, regardless of my previous experience or knowledge. The frustration I felt drove me to figure out what exactly I needed to do for my voice to be heard,” Tucci recounted.
In another insightful video, she explained how to react when a man at work tells you to smile
@kaytuc Replying to @cyndiefiend 😬 #fyp #fypシ #etiquette #howto #socialskills #lifehacks ♬ original sound – katie
“Initially, I thought that the problem was in what I was saying, that my perspective wasn’t valuable or contributing to the conversation. However, after a while, I realized that it wasn’t that my ideas weren’t valuable, but rather the environment I was in dismissed my perspectives outright, and that I needed to find new ways of presenting my ideas which would allow their underlying value to be relayed.”
To all women out there who feel like they’re not taken seriously by their men colleagues, Tucci’s advice is not to confuse their dismissal with an intrinsic lack of value. “It is very easy to have your self-confidence damaged by overbearing colleagues who refuse to acknowledge your work. Just because no one is listening doesn’t mean you’re wrong, even though it might feel like that,” she told Bored Panda.
Many women praised Tucci for how helpful her tips were
I know right. I always feel odd raising my voice or saying no and people take advantage of that. A lot!
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In order to assert your worth and validity, ...... act like the man you're not! Seriously, I totally agree with the comment about the goal being to validate soft femme energy as professional and respected. No answers, just hate that "playing the game" means feeding into the patriarchy.
I don't see why we should have to adjust how we behave to suit men. I never let someone get away with patronising me, equally, I am a woman and I do things differently. Screw those that don't like it.
No. There's an article in (I think) the NYT titled "Enough Leaning In. Let’s Tell Men to Lean Out". Normalise women's way of working. Ignore the shitty little boy tantrums. Be a woman.
Also, don't speak with a raised inflection at the end like you're asking a question, I can't tell you how much that undermines the speaker. "I got my degree from Columbia?" Are you asking me or telling me? And use a lower register on your vocal range. Not silly low, but just lower than if you were talking bubbly about something.
I think it may have something to do with size also. I'm a taller woman. 5"8" and I have never been called that in a meeting, but I don't come across in a sweet way either. I've been called "Direct" more times than I can count and usually by HR when they are talking to me about someone being insulted by it. If a man is direct it's because he's powerful and transparent and it's a good thing but if I woman is direct she's a b***h. II have a good job but it did take me awhile to get there but no one has every disrespected my brains by calling me honey.
I was visiting my brother in the hospital and got on the elevator and there were 2 men already on. The older one, a red necked yahoo, made some remark about my demeanor and that I should smile. I told this AH that I was visiting my brother who'd been just diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. The pure pleasure of watching that old fart squirm with his foot in his mouth actually made my day. Men need to just shut the f*** up when a woman enters the same elevator. We don't know you. We don't want to know you and we don't want you making stupid comments about why we should 'smile'. You have no f****** idea what is going on in our lives. And we weren't put on this planet to smile for you, AHs.
I find being oblivious and not react to sexism in any loud way. A straight up solid look will normally sort things out.
I know right. I always feel odd raising my voice or saying no and people take advantage of that. A lot!
Load More Replies... In order to assert your worth and validity, ...... act like the man you're not! Seriously, I totally agree with the comment about the goal being to validate soft femme energy as professional and respected. No answers, just hate that "playing the game" means feeding into the patriarchy.
I don't see why we should have to adjust how we behave to suit men. I never let someone get away with patronising me, equally, I am a woman and I do things differently. Screw those that don't like it.
No. There's an article in (I think) the NYT titled "Enough Leaning In. Let’s Tell Men to Lean Out". Normalise women's way of working. Ignore the shitty little boy tantrums. Be a woman.
Also, don't speak with a raised inflection at the end like you're asking a question, I can't tell you how much that undermines the speaker. "I got my degree from Columbia?" Are you asking me or telling me? And use a lower register on your vocal range. Not silly low, but just lower than if you were talking bubbly about something.
I think it may have something to do with size also. I'm a taller woman. 5"8" and I have never been called that in a meeting, but I don't come across in a sweet way either. I've been called "Direct" more times than I can count and usually by HR when they are talking to me about someone being insulted by it. If a man is direct it's because he's powerful and transparent and it's a good thing but if I woman is direct she's a b***h. II have a good job but it did take me awhile to get there but no one has every disrespected my brains by calling me honey.
I was visiting my brother in the hospital and got on the elevator and there were 2 men already on. The older one, a red necked yahoo, made some remark about my demeanor and that I should smile. I told this AH that I was visiting my brother who'd been just diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. The pure pleasure of watching that old fart squirm with his foot in his mouth actually made my day. Men need to just shut the f*** up when a woman enters the same elevator. We don't know you. We don't want to know you and we don't want you making stupid comments about why we should 'smile'. You have no f****** idea what is going on in our lives. And we weren't put on this planet to smile for you, AHs.
I find being oblivious and not react to sexism in any loud way. A straight up solid look will normally sort things out.
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