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Man Passes Away At His Brother’s Wedding, Bride Accuses Him Of Ruining The Most Important Day Of Her Life
Man Passes Away At His Brother’s Wedding, Bride Accuses Him Of Ruining The Most Important Day Of Her Life
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Man Passes Away At His Brother’s Wedding, Bride Accuses Him Of Ruining The Most Important Day Of Her Life

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A person’s character often reveals itself in times of crisis. And this universal truth is applicable to their flaws just as much as their strengths.

A few days ago, Reddit user u/HaKyunga29 submitted a story to the ‘Am I the A***ole?’ community about her sister-in-law, asking its members to share their take on the situation.

The entire family has gone through a very traumatic experience. The original poster’s husband passed away from an aneurysm at his brother’s wedding.

But while everyone was mourning their loss, the bride had the audacity to accuse the deceased of ruining the most important day of her life.

Unsure if she crossed any lines reacting to this absurd—and I’d even say offensive—claim by her sister-in-law, u/HaKyunga29 described what happened online, hoping that unbiased strangers could help her make sense of the whole thing.

RELATED:

    We’ve heard of bridezillas, but this lady is something else

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not an actual photo)

    She accused her brother-in-law of “ruining” her wedding when the poor fellow collapsed from an aneurysm

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    Image credits: zelle duda (not an actual photo)

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    Image credits: Fa Barboza (not an actual photo)

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    As Rebecca J. Rosen pointed out in The Atlantic, marriage is the union not merely of two spouses but of two families—each with its own beliefs and ways of being in the world.

    The resulting relationships can be some of the most rewarding, but, for a lot of people, just like u/HaKyunga29, they can also be some of the most challenging.

    Communicating between two people is complicated enough on its own, but in-law relationships happen through someone else. By their very nature. Any conflict touches everyone, and every person brings their own feelings to it.

    The widow’s sister-in-law can put an end to their disagreement at any point by apologizing, but some people view it as an admission that they are inadequate—that, rather than having made a mistake, there is something inherently wrong with them.

    Of course, we don’t know the newlywed and have limited information. She might, on the other hand, believe that offering the first apology is virtually accepting guilt and responsibility for the entirety of a conflict that involved wrongs on the part of both parties.

    However, a well-delivered, honest apology will generally solve a whole lot and, on the contrary, restore positive feelings.

    Researchers and psychologists say apologizing when you’ve broken a rule of social conduct re-establishes that you know what the “rules” are, and you agree that they must be followed

    But if you can’t even see that your behavior is hurtful… That’s, sadly, a completely different story.

    People were very sorry for the woman’s loss and said she’s absolutely NTA – not the a***ole

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

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    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

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    Kotryna Br

    Kotryna Br

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

    What do you think ?
    S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should have told your in-laws what she said the second she said it. Period. There is no logical reason not to defend yourself. I don't care where you were or what was going on. That's your HUSBAND and legally you come before his parents at this point. Forget saving face, stand up for yourself.

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have had Bea repeat to the in-laws right then and there what she had said. And then throw her out

    Load More Replies...
    Mo O'Connell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go to the next family function. When everyone is together, say to Bea " You haven't apologized for what you said to me at my husband's wake. However I'm forgiving you because it is good for my health to shed negative feelings.". Then say nothing. She will not be able to help her stand it'll all come out. Andres and in-laws will be horrified, and the consequences will be out of your control. You will be vindicated 100%.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my sister's funeral on the Friday, my cousin bit*hed about how her wedding the next day was ruined. Even her father, the family's known Biggest A-hole, took her aside and yelled at her for being TA. This was over 30 years ago, so.... Yeah, I don't talk to them. AITA?...

    EEF🤓
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. That level of a*****e, you don't want them in your life.

    Load More Replies...
    John Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah because her husband chose that exact moment to die just to spite the bride...... The entitlement of some wasted of oxygen that roam thos world...

    rhubarb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine you're so entitled you think someone died on purpose just to spite YOU. Sheesh, she sounds horrible. Of course you're NTA, I would have done the same.

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's okay to be upset that a day you spent months or even years planning was ruined. But it's a good idea to look at the situation from the eyes of another. OP's HUSBAND DIED. That is worse than anything that has been "ruined" due to this event. And expecting payback? That is insensitive and cruel.

    Karina Carr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thing is....it wasn't even ruined. It was simply cut short. The ceremony was done and they were well into the reception if dancing was already underway. Does it suck? Absolutely. However, ruined would have been if he died before the "I do" so they couldn't even get married at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Carole Arrington
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with those who believe that your in-laws should know what she has said. I understand the kind thoughts that went with not telling them, and if you want to you could just tell them that she was demanding half the cost of the wedding because he ruined her day. Otherwise you allow yourself to be villainized as the bad person and there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. I suspect that they may be aware of your sister-in-law's flaws, since I got the idea from your post that he had dated her for a long time before being willing to tie the knot. However there is absolutely no reason for you to continue being the villain in this chapter of your life. It's unfair to them, because I'm sure they love You and are probably devastated that you are no longer a part of their lives.

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the full reddit post, Andres and the in laws were later told what Bea said. I can't believe any of them still speak to her

    Load More Replies...
    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder how many brides in Ukraine had their "special day" ruined by Russian artillery shelling and various war crimes.

    Q T Simien Muhammad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! I can't believe the audacity and clearly narcissistic behavior of that AHSIL. The widow should have told the truth to her MIL and FIL. The AHSIL owes the widow and the rest of the family an apology.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying that the death ruined what should have been a happy day is fine, if presented the right way. "Gosh, that day took a complete 180 didn't it? Went from such a happy time to a tragedy so fast" Although the wake might even be too soon for that. But everything after her saying that the death ruined the wedding celebration(which again, the wake is too soon for that) is ultra AH territory

    Megan Pippenger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, like kindly acknowledging that the day went sideways is one thing. Obviously your new BIL dying at your wedding is gonna suck. But to blame him and his widow and ask her for money??? She’s mourning her wedding more than her husband’s brother!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    S
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should have told your in-laws what she said the second she said it. Period. There is no logical reason not to defend yourself. I don't care where you were or what was going on. That's your HUSBAND and legally you come before his parents at this point. Forget saving face, stand up for yourself.

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She should have had Bea repeat to the in-laws right then and there what she had said. And then throw her out

    Load More Replies...
    Mo O'Connell
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go to the next family function. When everyone is together, say to Bea " You haven't apologized for what you said to me at my husband's wake. However I'm forgiving you because it is good for my health to shed negative feelings.". Then say nothing. She will not be able to help her stand it'll all come out. Andres and in-laws will be horrified, and the consequences will be out of your control. You will be vindicated 100%.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my sister's funeral on the Friday, my cousin bit*hed about how her wedding the next day was ruined. Even her father, the family's known Biggest A-hole, took her aside and yelled at her for being TA. This was over 30 years ago, so.... Yeah, I don't talk to them. AITA?...

    EEF🤓
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. That level of a*****e, you don't want them in your life.

    Load More Replies...
    John Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah because her husband chose that exact moment to die just to spite the bride...... The entitlement of some wasted of oxygen that roam thos world...

    rhubarb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine you're so entitled you think someone died on purpose just to spite YOU. Sheesh, she sounds horrible. Of course you're NTA, I would have done the same.

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's okay to be upset that a day you spent months or even years planning was ruined. But it's a good idea to look at the situation from the eyes of another. OP's HUSBAND DIED. That is worse than anything that has been "ruined" due to this event. And expecting payback? That is insensitive and cruel.

    Karina Carr
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thing is....it wasn't even ruined. It was simply cut short. The ceremony was done and they were well into the reception if dancing was already underway. Does it suck? Absolutely. However, ruined would have been if he died before the "I do" so they couldn't even get married at all.

    Load More Replies...
    Carole Arrington
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with those who believe that your in-laws should know what she has said. I understand the kind thoughts that went with not telling them, and if you want to you could just tell them that she was demanding half the cost of the wedding because he ruined her day. Otherwise you allow yourself to be villainized as the bad person and there is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. I suspect that they may be aware of your sister-in-law's flaws, since I got the idea from your post that he had dated her for a long time before being willing to tie the knot. However there is absolutely no reason for you to continue being the villain in this chapter of your life. It's unfair to them, because I'm sure they love You and are probably devastated that you are no longer a part of their lives.

    Jennifer Crompton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the full reddit post, Andres and the in laws were later told what Bea said. I can't believe any of them still speak to her

    Load More Replies...
    Marco Conti
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder how many brides in Ukraine had their "special day" ruined by Russian artillery shelling and various war crimes.

    Q T Simien Muhammad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! I can't believe the audacity and clearly narcissistic behavior of that AHSIL. The widow should have told the truth to her MIL and FIL. The AHSIL owes the widow and the rest of the family an apology.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying that the death ruined what should have been a happy day is fine, if presented the right way. "Gosh, that day took a complete 180 didn't it? Went from such a happy time to a tragedy so fast" Although the wake might even be too soon for that. But everything after her saying that the death ruined the wedding celebration(which again, the wake is too soon for that) is ultra AH territory

    Megan Pippenger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, like kindly acknowledging that the day went sideways is one thing. Obviously your new BIL dying at your wedding is gonna suck. But to blame him and his widow and ask her for money??? She’s mourning her wedding more than her husband’s brother!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
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