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Bride Assures Guests That Her Sister Will Look After Their Kids During Wedding When She’d Never Agreed To It, Is Shocked When She Refuses
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Bride Assures Guests That Her Sister Will Look After Their Kids During Wedding When She’d Never Agreed To It, Is Shocked When She Refuses

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There’s a time to work and a time to relax. A time to help others and a time to tell them no. And the lines are often clear. However, after she volunteered to look after a few kids during her sister’s wedding, Redditor strawberry_field22 found herself in a very ambiguous situation.

The bride-to-be understood her words as an agreement to watch all the children during the ceremony and told the guests without the woman’s knowledge that she would be happy to do so. But in a post on the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’, she revealed that she isn’t.

This kindergarten teacher volunteered to watch a few kids at her sister’s wedding

Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)

But the bride-to-be saw this as an opportunity to take advantage of her


Image credits: nd3000 (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: strawberry_field22

Although they come with additional costs, professional childcare services can prevent such conflicts

Image credits: Felipe Salgado (not the actual photo)

According to one survey from the UK, people’s opinion is somewhat split on which guests should bring children to a wedding. 9% think that only close friends and family should be allowed to do so, while 25% believe that the privilege should extend to everyone who’s invited. A further 9% think there shouldn’t be any kids at all.

It’s understandable. After all, accommodating families is often harder than imagined.

There are a few factors couples have to consider before making the decision. For one thing, children can be unpredictable and they will need to rely on their parents to take control. Plus, the little ones in attendance can also affect the wedding budget.

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On the other hand, issuing an all-out ban on kids at a wedding is likely to ruffle some feathers, as many can find this hard-line rule troublesome or even rude; people have to make arrangements ahead of time, which can be especially challenging at a destination wedding, where they’re away from their regular go-to resources at home.

One of the best ways to ensure that both the youngest wedding guests and their parents are happy (and your big day is as stress-free as possible) is to hire professional childcare to watch over the kids collectively. But the additional out-of-pocket cost might tempt you into exploiting your relatives.

We can’t dismiss all the stress brides go through when planning their wedding

Regardless of how this particular situation plays out, experts suggest that the term bridezilla is only making wedding drama worse. Landis Bejar, therapist and the founder of AisleTalk, is one of those who think it’s time to retire it.

“It gets watered down so much that it’s used to describe any woman who cares about her wedding,” Bejar told Insider. “It’s being used to describe a woman who’s asserting her opinion, who’s asserting her needs, who has emotions.”

“There are many reasons why our emotions might shift during wedding planning,” Bejar added. “Maybe you’re dealing with really intense family strain. Maybe this is a big identity shift for you. Maybe you’re having stress in your partnership, or you’re trying to appease your in-laws or you’re spending a fortune.”

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All of that is inherently stressful, and the pressure is often increased for brides in particular because the burden of planning typically falls on their shoulders. Instead of using this label, we should probably first try to empathize with the woman.

Hopefully, the sisters will find a way to reconcile with each other.

Still, people unanimously supported the woman and said that her sister needs to reevaluate her priorities

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amyzhang2010 avatar
HelluvaHedgehogAlien
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cue the people who say this is fake. I actually find this pretty plausible because a******s are everywhere and this doesn’t seem like one of these creative writing ones.

allefeusch avatar
Al LeFeusch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good thing she's not a housekeeper for a living, or her sister would have made her mop the floors and do all the dishes after the reception. 😅

carterrkk1961 avatar
Karen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about being a Registered Nurse and your sister - NOT only expecting you ALONE to care for an ailing parent, BUT dress accordingly as if it's a JOB, despite the fact that it's a labor of love on your part?

Load More Replies...
heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her it’s a liability issue. If something happened to those kids she doesn’t know, the parents could sue or she could lose her teaching license and job. She’s not equipped to handle large numbers of children.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never, ever promise someone else's free labor, even if you think they wouldn't mind.

dizzied avatar
Dizzie D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would call her bluff and say if you tell people I'm looking after their kids then I won't be looking after ANY kids at the wedding. People can be kind and helpful but with some pushy people you have to really spell it out that 'kindness does not mean weakness' and that you are not a pushover.

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Show your sister this post and it's comments cause she needs a huge wake up call. Guess what, because you a Kindergarten teacher, she's going to expect you to raise her kids as well. And does she not want you to actually enjoy the fun part of her wedding or does she see you as part of the decor like another table for people to sit on. You are soooo not the A.

stsfuzzybear avatar
Brenda Wallace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Add: my rate is $1000 an hour per child, except the twins, they are free. My gift to their mother. Your gift sister dear? My presence. Oh cash up front for total time, even if some leave early. Sister? You can pay my taxes on the money.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell the sister that you can't look after any children at all because a conflict prevents you from attending the wedding. If she asks what the conflict is, tell her "The conflict with how I deserve to be treated".

ashconner avatar
Ash Conner
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her sister is inconsiderate. She is hanging out with 2 kids she is basically related to. Why would someone just volunteer a person to do a job that was never asked of them in the first place. She never said she was the wedding babysitter. She offered to hang out with her nieces for a wedding

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Given the fact my cousins did this for years.... I just shrug and say, OK, c'mon kiddos! And then their kids, as teens, will actually speak to me, but not them. Welcome to my world as the Childless One. I command the children. Mwahahaha. Ahem. Sorry. That said, I don't provide free medical care. Ain't my job when I ain't on the job.

elenasyrma avatar
Elena Syrma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watching two kids that you know can't be compared to watching a bunch of kids that you don't know. Especially when you were not even asked in the first place. Just because you are not close to your sister doesn't mean that she can feel entitled and offering your time just because she doesn't want to spend money on hiring someone.

weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been a bride and believe me, 'expert' or not, this woman deserves the name of bridezilla. Rudeness, ingratitude and assumption have made her so, not the stress of a wedding.

ferrybloemendal avatar
Oerff On Tour
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watch all the other kids? OK. If they do anything, they're not supposed to do, just don't interfere. You're WATCHING them, not taking care of them. Malicious compliance

louiseplatiel avatar
Louise P
Community Member
12 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her the deal is off, offer to help her source appropriate child care with the expectation that participating parents will share the cost. That is consequences of assuming someone will do something without asking them first.

mollykstimson avatar
M.
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay this person is ridiculous for thinking they might be the a-hole. For real. Just absolutely crazy.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do accounting. Me saying I don't want to do all your friends accounting doesn't mean I hate my job, I just don't want to do my job after doing my job in-between the time where I go back to doing my job again.. it's called having a break bridezilla, learn it.

tlwhite3942 avatar
Lisalisa
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok I'm going to be the ****ch here and say just don't go. So you won't get to enjoy the party, who cares? But be sure to let EVERYONE know why and lay the blame squarely at HER feet. I would talk to the twins' mother separately beforehand, just to clue her in though.

roccomz avatar
Rocco MZ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just another person who knows they're not the a-hole, but needed a bunch of pats on the back.

amyzhang2010 avatar
HelluvaHedgehogAlien
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cue the people who say this is fake. I actually find this pretty plausible because a******s are everywhere and this doesn’t seem like one of these creative writing ones.

allefeusch avatar
Al LeFeusch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good thing she's not a housekeeper for a living, or her sister would have made her mop the floors and do all the dishes after the reception. 😅

carterrkk1961 avatar
Karen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about being a Registered Nurse and your sister - NOT only expecting you ALONE to care for an ailing parent, BUT dress accordingly as if it's a JOB, despite the fact that it's a labor of love on your part?

Load More Replies...
heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her it’s a liability issue. If something happened to those kids she doesn’t know, the parents could sue or she could lose her teaching license and job. She’s not equipped to handle large numbers of children.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never, ever promise someone else's free labor, even if you think they wouldn't mind.

dizzied avatar
Dizzie D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would call her bluff and say if you tell people I'm looking after their kids then I won't be looking after ANY kids at the wedding. People can be kind and helpful but with some pushy people you have to really spell it out that 'kindness does not mean weakness' and that you are not a pushover.

desireebberg avatar
Venice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Show your sister this post and it's comments cause she needs a huge wake up call. Guess what, because you a Kindergarten teacher, she's going to expect you to raise her kids as well. And does she not want you to actually enjoy the fun part of her wedding or does she see you as part of the decor like another table for people to sit on. You are soooo not the A.

stsfuzzybear avatar
Brenda Wallace
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Add: my rate is $1000 an hour per child, except the twins, they are free. My gift to their mother. Your gift sister dear? My presence. Oh cash up front for total time, even if some leave early. Sister? You can pay my taxes on the money.

Load More Replies...
michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell the sister that you can't look after any children at all because a conflict prevents you from attending the wedding. If she asks what the conflict is, tell her "The conflict with how I deserve to be treated".

ashconner avatar
Ash Conner
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her sister is inconsiderate. She is hanging out with 2 kids she is basically related to. Why would someone just volunteer a person to do a job that was never asked of them in the first place. She never said she was the wedding babysitter. She offered to hang out with her nieces for a wedding

leodomitrix avatar
Leo Domitrix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Given the fact my cousins did this for years.... I just shrug and say, OK, c'mon kiddos! And then their kids, as teens, will actually speak to me, but not them. Welcome to my world as the Childless One. I command the children. Mwahahaha. Ahem. Sorry. That said, I don't provide free medical care. Ain't my job when I ain't on the job.

elenasyrma avatar
Elena Syrma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watching two kids that you know can't be compared to watching a bunch of kids that you don't know. Especially when you were not even asked in the first place. Just because you are not close to your sister doesn't mean that she can feel entitled and offering your time just because she doesn't want to spend money on hiring someone.

weakknees avatar
Weak Knees
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been a bride and believe me, 'expert' or not, this woman deserves the name of bridezilla. Rudeness, ingratitude and assumption have made her so, not the stress of a wedding.

ferrybloemendal avatar
Oerff On Tour
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watch all the other kids? OK. If they do anything, they're not supposed to do, just don't interfere. You're WATCHING them, not taking care of them. Malicious compliance

louiseplatiel avatar
Louise P
Community Member
12 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her the deal is off, offer to help her source appropriate child care with the expectation that participating parents will share the cost. That is consequences of assuming someone will do something without asking them first.

mollykstimson avatar
M.
Community Member
12 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay this person is ridiculous for thinking they might be the a-hole. For real. Just absolutely crazy.

marikofujita avatar
Mariko Fujita
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do accounting. Me saying I don't want to do all your friends accounting doesn't mean I hate my job, I just don't want to do my job after doing my job in-between the time where I go back to doing my job again.. it's called having a break bridezilla, learn it.

tlwhite3942 avatar
Lisalisa
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok I'm going to be the ****ch here and say just don't go. So you won't get to enjoy the party, who cares? But be sure to let EVERYONE know why and lay the blame squarely at HER feet. I would talk to the twins' mother separately beforehand, just to clue her in though.

roccomz avatar
Rocco MZ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just another person who knows they're not the a-hole, but needed a bunch of pats on the back.

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