If you grocery shop for the week with specific meals in mind, it can be frustrating when things don’t go according to plan. You slice open those avocados intended for guacamole, and they’re all rotten. You pull a jar of tomato sauce out of the fridge just to drop it on the floor, leaving you with a massive mess and nothing for dinner. Or you reach in the cabinet and find those baguettes that you bought are suddenly half their original size.
Below, you’ll find a story that a frustrated woman recently shared on Reddit, wondering if she was wrong for blowing up at her husband after he demolished their dinner ingredients.
In this family, the wife does the majority of grocery shopping and cooking
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual image)
So when she found that her husband had already helped himself to the ingredients for dinner, she lost it
Image credits: iRubén (not the actual image)
Later, the woman provided more information on the situation
Image credits: Previous_Mood_3251
It’s common for women to take on more of the grocery shopping and meal-prepping responsibilities
When it comes to meal preparation responsibilities, it’s common for one partner to take on more of the burden. Perhaps they enjoy cooking more, or maybe their spouse has a more time-consuming job. But in the United States, it seems that it’s usually women taking on the lion’s share of food preparation. According to a 2019 study from the Pew Research Center, 80% of women in the US with kids say they’re the usual meal prepper, while 75% of women without kids say the same.
80% of American moms are their families’ usual grocery shoppers as well, while 68% of women without kids go to the store more frequently than their partners as well. When it comes to time spent preparing meals, women with kids say they spend about 68 minutes per day meal prepping, while their male partners say they spend about 23 minutes each day. So the arrangement that the couple in this post have certainly isn’t unusual, and there’s nothing wrong with it if they’re both content.
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual image)
But dividing up household labor evenly between partners can be beneficial for their relationship
In fact, the way couples decide to divide up labor can have a significant impact on how happy they are in their relationship. According to a survey from Roborock, half of all couples believe that not helping out with household chores is just as bad as, if not worse than, cheating on their partner.
60% of couples admit that equally dividing up household chores would improve their loyalty, and 56% believe that evenly splitting up chores could even improve their sex lives. Apparently, 53% of couples consider balancing chore responsibilities just as important to their relationships as having sex.
But unfortunately, many couples disagree on how much their partner really helps out around the house. 34% think that their spouse or partner has at one point done chores poorly on purpose to get out of doing them again in the future, also known as weaponized incompetence. The pandemic didn’t help couples get on the same page either, as 40% say they argue more about housework now than they did prior to 2020.
Image credits: Annushka Ahuja (not the actual image)
While the labor is still often unbalanced, men today are doing much more around the house than previous generations
Times are changing, though, when it comes to how couples balance responsibilities around the house. And according to associate professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah, Daniel L. Carlson, we’re slowly becoming more egalitarian. Carlson told Deseret News that even though women are still doing more than men overall, men are doing much more than they were a few decades ago.
Married fathers, who used to do only 2 hours of housework a week in 1965, are taking on 5 hours today. And among couples where both partners work, dads do on average 9.5 hours of housework each week. Carlson also says it can benefit couples to do chores jointly, rather than simply assigning them between the two of them. He recommends therapists consider division of labor when working with couples, to address and predict conflicts.
“We have higher expectations of fairness, communication and intimacy of our relationship, and that means we have to be more thoughtful and open about how to arrange it than our grandparents did,” Stephanie Coontz, director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families, told Deseret News.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was justified in yelling at her husband? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article, we recommend checking out another discussing couple conflicts and weaponized incompetence.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Many readers assured the woman that she did nothing wrong, noting that her husband was being immature
However, some thought the wife could have communicated better
Later, she shared another update after talking about the post with her husband
This guy reminds me of my ex. I agreed to make lasagna for his family who were coming the following Saturday . I made a homemade meat sauce that took a few hours and froze it, leaving out a portion for him to eat with pasta. I bought the cheese and had everything ready then went on a business trip Monday to Friday. When I got back, I discovered he had defrosted the sauce and ate it all plus most of the cheese. He told me it was his favourite and he was hungry bWe had a big fight when I told him no lasagna for his family and he was going to have to figure out what to serve them because I wasn’t doing it. He actually thought I was going to replace the groceries and start again from scratch in the few hours before they came. He also wasn’t pleased when I told them the truth when they asked about the lasagna.
LOL. I love that. “I HAD made food for everybody but *he* ate it ALL.”
Load More Replies...lol "tell me you are bitter about Sheila without telling me you are bitter about Sheila" I love that
I loved her comment to a comment that if they had plenty of money then he could, “Eat bread all day every day like a giant duck for all I care.”
Load More Replies...I had to laugh and show this to my husband, because this is an argument we have had soooo many times. There's even things he doesn't like and I occasionally buy as a treat to myself, put in a random place he has no reason to go and he'll still eat it, and then tell me he didn't even like it. NTA!!!
Can’t he buy himself some treats that he likes? Or buy “my treats” and “his treats”. Tell him to make his last the week because these ones are mine. Otherwise I guess he’ll eat all his treats and move onto yours.
Load More Replies...I do the shopping, I put the food away, there’s always little snacks available, I do all the cooking in my household, no one else contributes or helps me. And yet the meal prep gets wrecked by some a*****e that sneaks a bit of a snack that’s required for a later meal, it’s always late in the evening and they are too lazy to cook a full meal, it drives me nuts. The worst part in all of this is that I live alone in my flat and I’m the a*****e who steals my own ingredients.
This is like one of those sitcoms where the whole episode could be avoided with one brief conversation ... "You ate the bread I needed... go buy more bread immediately." Done.
They are on a tight budget tho. When I grew up, we literally could not afford more. I will assume that more bread is maybe not possible- it does happen, she does say $ is very tight. I feel for this woman! Thank gawd she has a good sense of humor, she is gonna need it with a man like that! My guy rocks, would never do this!
Load More Replies...He'd be getting bread slices pizza while everyone else had French bread pizza... next time, it would be a plate of melted toppings.
Bread slices pizza is such a good visual... I'm crying
Load More Replies...It rather sounds like this man craves variety. She says sticks to the same shopping list each week, and each time she buys something different, he eats it. ..... My suggestion is to increase the variety of foods bought. Also have a system where items bought for a specific purpose can be marked as special, and everyone knows not to eat it. ....At Christmas, I put a Christmas sticker on things, and the family knows not to use it.
First of all she says they are on a budget, she is in charge of all the food shopping and cooking. In my experience one of the most banal and annoying parts of being an adult is deciding what to cook every night, let alone for a whole family. My suggestion would be that the grown up man does some shopping too, or suggests things he would like instead of making his wife do all the work both mentally and physically. Why does the onus have to be 100% on her. It's not difficult, if you see something "new" in the kitchen to ask if it has a specific purpose or not.
Load More Replies...All those suggestingshe go 'scorched Earth' on him should realize that's what you do when you want the marriage to dissolve. She needs to have him understand, without putting a guilt trip on him, that she has plans when she shops and if he wants to respect her plans, he should ask before disturbing her territory (kitchen). Illustrate by telling him he probably wouldn't appreciate her going into his workshop and using his raw materials for her own project. She should define her borders clearly and often because many otherwise good men are thick as a plank.
All true, but as a man who can be thick as a plank, the husband's partial destruction of both loaves of bread followed by leaving the remnants out on the counter suggests a level of disrespect which approaches intentional maliciousness. If I were in her shoes, I'd institute an immediate change of him now planning, shopping for, and preparing 100% of the meals in the house.
Load More Replies...I can't edit from my phone... Now I know why I see so many random question marks in posts! Emojis show up as "?" Those were cry-laughing faces because this woman should write comedy. The visuals!
Load More Replies...This guy reminds me of my ex. I agreed to make lasagna for his family who were coming the following Saturday . I made a homemade meat sauce that took a few hours and froze it, leaving out a portion for him to eat with pasta. I bought the cheese and had everything ready then went on a business trip Monday to Friday. When I got back, I discovered he had defrosted the sauce and ate it all plus most of the cheese. He told me it was his favourite and he was hungry bWe had a big fight when I told him no lasagna for his family and he was going to have to figure out what to serve them because I wasn’t doing it. He actually thought I was going to replace the groceries and start again from scratch in the few hours before they came. He also wasn’t pleased when I told them the truth when they asked about the lasagna.
LOL. I love that. “I HAD made food for everybody but *he* ate it ALL.”
Load More Replies...lol "tell me you are bitter about Sheila without telling me you are bitter about Sheila" I love that
I loved her comment to a comment that if they had plenty of money then he could, “Eat bread all day every day like a giant duck for all I care.”
Load More Replies...I had to laugh and show this to my husband, because this is an argument we have had soooo many times. There's even things he doesn't like and I occasionally buy as a treat to myself, put in a random place he has no reason to go and he'll still eat it, and then tell me he didn't even like it. NTA!!!
Can’t he buy himself some treats that he likes? Or buy “my treats” and “his treats”. Tell him to make his last the week because these ones are mine. Otherwise I guess he’ll eat all his treats and move onto yours.
Load More Replies...I do the shopping, I put the food away, there’s always little snacks available, I do all the cooking in my household, no one else contributes or helps me. And yet the meal prep gets wrecked by some a*****e that sneaks a bit of a snack that’s required for a later meal, it’s always late in the evening and they are too lazy to cook a full meal, it drives me nuts. The worst part in all of this is that I live alone in my flat and I’m the a*****e who steals my own ingredients.
This is like one of those sitcoms where the whole episode could be avoided with one brief conversation ... "You ate the bread I needed... go buy more bread immediately." Done.
They are on a tight budget tho. When I grew up, we literally could not afford more. I will assume that more bread is maybe not possible- it does happen, she does say $ is very tight. I feel for this woman! Thank gawd she has a good sense of humor, she is gonna need it with a man like that! My guy rocks, would never do this!
Load More Replies...He'd be getting bread slices pizza while everyone else had French bread pizza... next time, it would be a plate of melted toppings.
Bread slices pizza is such a good visual... I'm crying
Load More Replies...It rather sounds like this man craves variety. She says sticks to the same shopping list each week, and each time she buys something different, he eats it. ..... My suggestion is to increase the variety of foods bought. Also have a system where items bought for a specific purpose can be marked as special, and everyone knows not to eat it. ....At Christmas, I put a Christmas sticker on things, and the family knows not to use it.
First of all she says they are on a budget, she is in charge of all the food shopping and cooking. In my experience one of the most banal and annoying parts of being an adult is deciding what to cook every night, let alone for a whole family. My suggestion would be that the grown up man does some shopping too, or suggests things he would like instead of making his wife do all the work both mentally and physically. Why does the onus have to be 100% on her. It's not difficult, if you see something "new" in the kitchen to ask if it has a specific purpose or not.
Load More Replies...All those suggestingshe go 'scorched Earth' on him should realize that's what you do when you want the marriage to dissolve. She needs to have him understand, without putting a guilt trip on him, that she has plans when she shops and if he wants to respect her plans, he should ask before disturbing her territory (kitchen). Illustrate by telling him he probably wouldn't appreciate her going into his workshop and using his raw materials for her own project. She should define her borders clearly and often because many otherwise good men are thick as a plank.
All true, but as a man who can be thick as a plank, the husband's partial destruction of both loaves of bread followed by leaving the remnants out on the counter suggests a level of disrespect which approaches intentional maliciousness. If I were in her shoes, I'd institute an immediate change of him now planning, shopping for, and preparing 100% of the meals in the house.
Load More Replies...I can't edit from my phone... Now I know why I see so many random question marks in posts! Emojis show up as "?" Those were cry-laughing faces because this woman should write comedy. The visuals!
Load More Replies...




























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