“I’ve Always Been The ‘Fat Sister’:” Woman Loses A Lot Of Weight Before Sister’s Wedding, Bride Freaks Out

Exactly, you worded it perfectly. I often see this. People don't like change, so when one changes the others feel threatened like they should be doing something too and ghen express this as jealously or even anger towards the other person. Like how dare you fall out of line.

When I got sober I dealt with this a lot. I wasn't the screwup anymore. I was constant accused of relapsing if I did anything different. I also had in-laws that "accidentally" brought me wine at dinner. My sister-in-law had the same thing happen. She apologized for how she treated us because she's experiencing the same thing.

This! I was the baby of my family. I came along 18 years after my oldest brother, and 9 years after my youngest brother. My role was as the baby of the family, a child, always consigned to the kiddie table, regardless of my age. So I was eternally infantalized—-well into my 20s! I remember being 25 years old, and my youngest brother and his wife sending me a Christmas present. Of a child’s book of cats. My IQ is close to 140, I was a much better student than any of my four brothers could ever have been, and they were sending me children’s books. Finally, once I hit 40, my oldest brother started to defer to me when it came to making decisions about our parents when they got old and infirm, amongst other family decisions. It was nice being invited to the grownup table, and leaving the kiddie table behind forever.

When I had lost some weight due to exercise and diet and my "best friend's" male childhood friend complimented me for it, my "friend" told me to stop dieting, otherwise I'd "become competition". Like... WTF? I couldn't make this up if I tried! My only regret is that I should've cut contact with her sooner.

Very well put comment. Spot on.

Reminds me of the commercials of Plus, a dutch supermarket chain. They always have a group store workers for mascots, and one of them was fat. Then the fat one left, and they seroiously were looking for a new overweight woman to fill the role

Basically yeah. You’re on point.

Judging by your reply to Otter, i dont think you parents were supportive of your weight loss? If they werent, im so sorry you had to go through that

Is it her fault that the fat was 'found' by her sister? (as in 'I lost some weight' and someone quips 'great, I found it for you.') For many brides , they tend to lose some weight from the stress of the event and what might go wrong. I'd love it if my sister lost weight, and would give her kudos for doing so.

Because we always do it just to show people don’t we? It couldn’t possibly be for our health or in my case want to live past 50

People are focussed on the wedding and not what comes after. These boutique weddings have become status symbols. Maybe it has something to do with people marrying later who can pay for these glamorized Proms themselves, but it leads to real stress and focus on the things that are NOT important.

Yep, this perfect wedding thing at the expense of those who love you has really gotten out of hand. I had a small wedding with the closest people around. I didn't care how they looked.

Excellent comment.

The "most important person in your life" is YOU. No one else. Eventually, everyone else will be gone.

Celebrate with people who have your best interests in mind. I surround myself with people who bring me up. Since I have no toxic people in my inner circle, I only go to their celebrations. My wedding reception had 50 people who I know were happy with me. The relative I "had" to invite didn't show up or even RSVP.

It has actually been proven that if you tell people about your goals you are likely not to stick to them. Rather just keep quiet unless of course you need help and support then go ahead and tell a selected, trusted few

I get what you are saying, but I have two points. Firstly, I have never been to a wedding where the weight of a guest has been more important that the couple. And secondly, even if it did, and this was my sister, I would be genuinely happy to share the limelight with her and super proud of her for achieving her goals.

Thing is, when it comes to losing weight successfully, it’s almost like the stars have to align just perfectly for it to happen. Right place, right time, right resources, right frame of mind, right circumstances, even right (medical) treatment. I struggled with my weight, starting in my teens. It was the 70s and everyone was x-ray thin, while I was normal-size. Thing is, I look at pictures from my teens—-and I wasn’t fat!! I was normal-size, and at the perfect weight for my height. Unfortunately, by my 20s, the die was cast, and I started to yo-yo diet, yet never got to my goal size, which wasn’t even unreasonable. Come to find out after menopause that I had hypothyroidism. All those years I said I must have a slow metabolism, and people said I just ate too much and exercised too little (even though that wasn’t the case), turns out they were dead wrong and I was spot on right. I have my weight under control now, and am once again a healthy size for my height.