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Dad Refuses To Help With Newborn And Keeps Inviting Family Over, Wife Makes Him Walk In Her Shoes
Mother holding newborn baby indoors, highlighting dad refusing to help with newborn and family visits issues.

Dad Refuses To Help With Newborn And Keeps Inviting Family Over, Wife Makes Him Walk In Her Shoes

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At 4 months, the development of a baby’s brain may cause sleep instability, leading to fussiness, multiple nighttime wakings, reduced napping, and appetite changes.

There is no single solution to fix these problems, and caregivers are encouraged to remember that sleep regressions are normal and, most importantly, temporary.

However, after Reddit user Adorable_Banana_7262’s daughter began experiencing these disruptions, her husband failed to recognize the toll they were taking on his wife as well. One time, he even invited his relatives to visit them early in the morning!

So the woman decided to give her partner a taste of his own medicine. Continue scrolling to read her post from the subreddit ‘AITAH,’ where the mom explains how she did it.

RELATED:

    4-month-olds are known for their sleep regressions, and they can really disrupt the parents’ cycles, too

    Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When it happened to this mom, she was sad to see that her husband didn’t understand the gravity of the situation

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    So she decided to show him what it feels like

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    Image credits: Askar Abayev / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Later, the woman updated her post, clarifying a few important details

    Image credits: Adorable_Banana_7262

    Image credits: Dasha Halepova / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Experts say that sleep deprivation affects mothers much more than fathers

    At this time, the Redditor and her husband must work together and help each other. Researchers tracking the sleep of thousands of men and women after their family size increased have discovered that shut-eye hits a low about three months after birth, with the effect strongest in women.

    Interestingly, while parents gradually saw their sleep improve as their firstborn grew, it seems their nighttime rest was never quite the same again.

    “We didn’t expect to find that, but we believe that there are certainly many changes in the responsibilities you have,” said Dr. Sakari Lemola, co-author of the research from the University of Warwick.

    He added that while children may stop crying during the night as they age, they may still wake up, be sick, or have nightmares, while the stress and worries that go with parenthood can also affect mom and dad’s sleep.

    Published in the journal Sleep, the study analyzed data collected from adults in Germany who were surveyed in face-to-face interviews conducted once a year between 2008 and 2015. Participants were asked to rate the quality of their sleep on a scale from 0 to 10 and to report how many hours of sleep they got on a normal weekday and a normal weekend day.

    The researchers focused on responses from more than 2,500 women and almost 2,200 men who reported the birth of their first, second, or third child during the study, with participants followed for up to 6 years.

    Perhaps unsurprisingly, the team found that women’s decline in sleep satisfaction in the first year after the birth of a child dropped by 1.7 points for the first child and by over 1 point for both the second and third child, compared with before their first pregnancy.

    The mothers also lost about 40 minutes of sleep a night in the year after a baby arrived compared with pre-pregnancy levels, regardless of whether it was their first or a subsequent kid.

    A deeper analysis of the data showed the first three months after the birth of a first child were particularly grueling, as women lost over an hour of sleep compared with before they became pregnant.

    While similar trends were seen for fathers, the effects were less pronounced. Even three months after their first child’s birth, fathers lost only 13 minutes of sleep.

    So maybe the husband might’ve very well needed the vivid illustration of what it’s like for his wife?

    After her story went viral, the author of the post joined the discussion in the comments

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

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    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Rokas Laurinavičius

    Writer, Senior Writer

    Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

    What do you think ?
    Anne Jones
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Husband is a selfish manchild.

    patricia patricia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is. And she is stupid. He must have been a selfish manchild before the baby, too. Why have children with a man like that? She knew him, she knew his family. This is not the 19th century, when people married a virtual stranger. We women keep on imagining men will change for us because we are special. Spoiler: they won't.

    Load More Replies...
    Kristiina Männiste
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should not "help" with the baby. He should be caring for his daughter.

    Kristiina Männiste
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But they really should have discussed the crying out vs soothing approach before having children. Its kinda important.

    Load More Replies...
    Sarah Ellison
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time husband does that, OP should just leave. Take baby over to her mom's house and have someone she trusts watch the baby while she naps. Husband can entertain and feed his mom on his own.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with your first sentence, but she should leave Baby at home for husband/father to take care of. If he's not trustworthy with his own child, then OP has an even bigger problem on her hands.

    Load More Replies...
    Load More Comments
    Anne Jones
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Husband is a selfish manchild.

    patricia patricia
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is. And she is stupid. He must have been a selfish manchild before the baby, too. Why have children with a man like that? She knew him, she knew his family. This is not the 19th century, when people married a virtual stranger. We women keep on imagining men will change for us because we are special. Spoiler: they won't.

    Load More Replies...
    Kristiina Männiste
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should not "help" with the baby. He should be caring for his daughter.

    Kristiina Männiste
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But they really should have discussed the crying out vs soothing approach before having children. Its kinda important.

    Load More Replies...
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    Sarah Ellison
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time husband does that, OP should just leave. Take baby over to her mom's house and have someone she trusts watch the baby while she naps. Husband can entertain and feed his mom on his own.

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with your first sentence, but she should leave Baby at home for husband/father to take care of. If he's not trustworthy with his own child, then OP has an even bigger problem on her hands.

    Load More Replies...
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