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“Like Handing Your Wife To Another Man’s Arm”: Man Gets Suspicious As Wife Becomes Her Client’s Date
Trust is one of the key foundations of a marriage. Any relationship that lacks even just a bit of it is bound to crumble. However, there may be instances where that trust may be put to the test.
It happened to this man when he allowed his wife to attend a “gala date” with a client. While he says he understands that it was strictly professional, the idea of having his spouse in another man’s arms didn’t sit well with him.
After admitting he felt jealous and uneasy, he turned to Reddit in the hope of finding answers to his quandary.
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A man allowed his wife to go on a “gala date” with a client
Image credits: rawpixel.com (not the actual photo)
According to him, he understands that it is a strictly professional event
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
However, he also admits that he’s been struggling to deal with the situation
Image credits: koldunov (not the actual photo)
He also refused to do the same and go out with another woman, out of respect for his wife
Image credits: secretechillboy
The statistics of affairs happening at work functions are quite alarming
While every person must be trusting toward their spouse, the author’s worries in his case were valid. Statistics from the Athens, Georgia, law firm Daniels & Rothman, P.C., revealed that 34% of infidelities occur during work functions.
Likewise, 28% of employees admit that they’ve actively considered their workplace as an ideal environment to pursue romance.
Further statistics from a 2024 report by Forbes revealed that 50% of employees reported flirting with their coworkers, while 40% of those respondents admitted to having cheated on their current partner with a colleague.
According to the Forbes report, 65% of people admitted that comfort has been one of the primary driving forces behind workplace romances. 38% of people also revealed that these affairs made their workday more enjoyable.
“The proximity effect” is another reason why workplace romance is prevalent. As explained by relationship psychologist Dr. Kathy Nickerson, it is part of human nature to be drawn to someone we see often, or in this story’s case, spend a significant amount of time with.
“That familiarity and comfort can quickly grow into something more intimate,” Dr. Nickerson said in an interview with SELF.
Telling a partner that something they did has bothered you should be approached with empathy
The husband repeatedly stated how his wife’s “gala date” bothered him from the get-go. He deserves props for approaching the situation with maturity, keeping in mind that it was strictly a business matter.
However, he may need to tell his wife how he felt, as openness is a hallmark of a healthy relationship. According to Barcelona-based clinical psychologist and couples therapist Patricia Maguet, such conversations must be approached with empathy.
In an article for her website, Maguet’s first piece of advice is to ask questions before immediately jumping to accusations. Ask yourself what bothered you and never rule out the possibility of a misunderstanding.
And if your partner’s actions have caused hurt, Maguet strongly advises against fighting the urge to inflict pain in return. Your primary and ultimate goal should be about reducing tension.
Most importantly, keep the conversation about what your partner did, without launching personal attacks.
“Remember that it’s about talking about what’s bothering you without hurting your partner,” Maguet said.
The husband’s response to choose to trust his wife was commendable in itself. He also had it in him not to reciprocate the behavior by going out with another woman, out of respect for her. He appears to have a good head on his shoulders.
However, he should also speak up about how it made him uncomfortable, especially if a similar situation arises in the future.
The man provided more information about his story
People in the comments were blunt with their reactions
The author shared an update
Image credits: standret (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
He revealed that his wife ended up getting home the next morning
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
He also admitted to feeling perturbed by the idea that his wife spent the night somewhere else
Image credits: secretechillboy
He provided more information by answering reader questions
People had mixed reactions to his update
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Hermien Scholten 3 months ago
"I trust her completely" Eeeeeverything screams that he does in fact, NOT trust her completely
Ronja Oksanen 3 months ago
This guy is so defensive in his comment answers, like he has already decided that there is something wrong going on. Sounds exhausting for the wife having to text and call him all trough the evening and soothe his insecurities and not be able to enjoy her night. OP is waaay too hung up on the term "date" that it's going to ruin their relationship.
LB 3 months ago
And then saying it's okay for her to stay over at a friends house and then blaming her after? Geez.
Load More Replies...
Paul C 3 months ago
Most of this seems pretty normal - great opportunity for OP's wife, but leaving her husband a little nervous and maybe insecure (poor choice of words to say date instead of plus one). OP's wife meets up with a friend who she decides to stay the night with, despite knowing her husband was nervous about the evening. Friends have been known to cover for each other's cheating. I suppose it all comes down to what sort of woman the OP's wife is. Would she cheat or not? My guess is that it was totally innocent - I think it would be unusual for someone out cheating to be putting photos on social media whilst they are out being bad.
JayWantsACat 3 months ago
This guy is so insecure and defensive it's making ME feel weird. Holy s**t. The wife is pretty much doing everything to assuage any fears and worries and he's still acting like she's out cheating. He says he "trusts her completely" but acts like shes completely untrustworthy. Could she have cheated? Of course. But he's basing all that on her calling this night our with a client a "date". Would he have acted the same if she did everything exactly the same but called it a "+1"? This is so stupid.
Jonas Fisher 3 months ago
I get this guy's perspective. He's not claiming she's cheating. In a way, it's the opposite. He's saying that there's just enough here that's off that he feels weird. People keep saying that "date" doesn't have to mean romance, and that's true in a technical sense, but I wouldn't use that work if I were going to hang out with a friend, you know? The choice to use it could potentially say something. Then she stays out all night...sure, she called and all, but the plan was to come home at 12, and she didn't call until 1am. So, that's another thing that isn't outright an "issue," but could conceivably make him feel bad. So, no conclusion, just a response to people calling this dude out.
Tabitha 3 months ago (edited)
Sorry for being so long-winded, but hear me out. Let’s try a similar situation. OP’s wife has a chance to go to an important business conference, one that could put her on the networking path to a lucrative promotion, and the only other person going to the same seminar is a man she works with, and the inappropriate joke around the office is that he and she are going on a trip together—-which is something HR needs to put the kibosh on—-but it gets back to OP somehow. Now, she’s not at all attracted to this coworker, btw, and she has her own room at a nearby (overflow) hotel because her coworker took the last room in the host hotel. Now, she does short check ins with OP between meetings throughout the conference—-remember, he is also at work during the day, so that’s why she keeps it short—-and into each evening’s networking events, and every night she gets an cab or Uber to her hotel and calls OP before going to sleep, to tell him about her day in more detail, and how making this or that contact could really boost her career. Or maybe there’s no evening networking get-together, and she’s part of a team working on a project that’s due the next day, so they have to pull an all-nighter. So she calls OP to tell him exactly that, and that her checking in will be by text so she doesn’t wake him up. She send three texts between midnight and six in the morning. NOW, how TF could she be cheating if she’s keeping in such frequent contact with OP, and telling him every single thing that happened at this conference she is really excited to be a part of? You really think she’s going to risk losing her career by having a fling with the coworker? Really? As if that news would never end up coming back around to her—-their—-office, and could end both their careers? Not everyone is exclusively guided by their “little brain”. Some of us are capable of shutting our “little brains” TF up and keeping our “big brains” front and center, especially when so much is riding on us not giving in to hormonal urges. S*x may be an important part of life, but it is NOT the be all and end all of it. There are a lot of parts of our lives where it emphatically does NOT belong. OP’s wife is thinking about her career and the contribution her salary is making to the life she and OP are building together. She is not thinking about dumping OP and riding off into the sunset with this client who asked her to be his plus-one so as to not waste a ticket, a spot at the table, a good meal, and a golden opportunity at some potentially lucrative networking and schmoozing to keep her moving up the ladder at work. I bet s*x (e.g. bedding the client she went with or any of the contacts she made—-or even looking at them and being excited in that way—-never even crossed her mind the entire time she was at the event, or crashing on her female friend’s couch (remember, the friend was on her video call to OP, and co firmed OP’s wife was crashing at her place). OP needs to get TF over himself and learn to trust his wife. If he doesn’t, then the divorce will be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because he will do that plus other similarly s****y things that push her away, whether he’s conscious of doing it or not.
Gebidozo 3 months ago
He is saying he isn’t insecure and that he trusts his wife, then the whole post is about him being insecure and not trusting her. Another thing that stands out is his comment that his wife would k**l him if he goes out with another woman. Either their relationship is unhealthy on both sides, or maybe he’s projecting his own insecurities onto his wife. At any rate, either you trust your partner or you don’t. If you do, then the whole post is about nothing. If you don’t, it’s still about nothing, because you’ve got way bigger problems in your relationship than your partner going out with someone or not staying at home for one night.
Hermien Scholten 3 months ago
"I trust her completely" Eeeeeverything screams that he does in fact, NOT trust her completely
Ronja Oksanen 3 months ago
This guy is so defensive in his comment answers, like he has already decided that there is something wrong going on. Sounds exhausting for the wife having to text and call him all trough the evening and soothe his insecurities and not be able to enjoy her night. OP is waaay too hung up on the term "date" that it's going to ruin their relationship.
LB 3 months ago
And then saying it's okay for her to stay over at a friends house and then blaming her after? Geez.
Load More Replies... Paul C 3 months ago
Most of this seems pretty normal - great opportunity for OP's wife, but leaving her husband a little nervous and maybe insecure (poor choice of words to say date instead of plus one). OP's wife meets up with a friend who she decides to stay the night with, despite knowing her husband was nervous about the evening. Friends have been known to cover for each other's cheating. I suppose it all comes down to what sort of woman the OP's wife is. Would she cheat or not? My guess is that it was totally innocent - I think it would be unusual for someone out cheating to be putting photos on social media whilst they are out being bad.
JayWantsACat 3 months ago
This guy is so insecure and defensive it's making ME feel weird. Holy s**t. The wife is pretty much doing everything to assuage any fears and worries and he's still acting like she's out cheating. He says he "trusts her completely" but acts like shes completely untrustworthy. Could she have cheated? Of course. But he's basing all that on her calling this night our with a client a "date". Would he have acted the same if she did everything exactly the same but called it a "+1"? This is so stupid.
Jonas Fisher 3 months ago
I get this guy's perspective. He's not claiming she's cheating. In a way, it's the opposite. He's saying that there's just enough here that's off that he feels weird. People keep saying that "date" doesn't have to mean romance, and that's true in a technical sense, but I wouldn't use that work if I were going to hang out with a friend, you know? The choice to use it could potentially say something. Then she stays out all night...sure, she called and all, but the plan was to come home at 12, and she didn't call until 1am. So, that's another thing that isn't outright an "issue," but could conceivably make him feel bad. So, no conclusion, just a response to people calling this dude out.
Tabitha 3 months ago (edited)
Sorry for being so long-winded, but hear me out. Let’s try a similar situation. OP’s wife has a chance to go to an important business conference, one that could put her on the networking path to a lucrative promotion, and the only other person going to the same seminar is a man she works with, and the inappropriate joke around the office is that he and she are going on a trip together—-which is something HR needs to put the kibosh on—-but it gets back to OP somehow. Now, she’s not at all attracted to this coworker, btw, and she has her own room at a nearby (overflow) hotel because her coworker took the last room in the host hotel. Now, she does short check ins with OP between meetings throughout the conference—-remember, he is also at work during the day, so that’s why she keeps it short—-and into each evening’s networking events, and every night she gets an cab or Uber to her hotel and calls OP before going to sleep, to tell him about her day in more detail, and how making this or that contact could really boost her career. Or maybe there’s no evening networking get-together, and she’s part of a team working on a project that’s due the next day, so they have to pull an all-nighter. So she calls OP to tell him exactly that, and that her checking in will be by text so she doesn’t wake him up. She send three texts between midnight and six in the morning. NOW, how TF could she be cheating if she’s keeping in such frequent contact with OP, and telling him every single thing that happened at this conference she is really excited to be a part of? You really think she’s going to risk losing her career by having a fling with the coworker? Really? As if that news would never end up coming back around to her—-their—-office, and could end both their careers? Not everyone is exclusively guided by their “little brain”. Some of us are capable of shutting our “little brains” TF up and keeping our “big brains” front and center, especially when so much is riding on us not giving in to hormonal urges. S*x may be an important part of life, but it is NOT the be all and end all of it. There are a lot of parts of our lives where it emphatically does NOT belong. OP’s wife is thinking about her career and the contribution her salary is making to the life she and OP are building together. She is not thinking about dumping OP and riding off into the sunset with this client who asked her to be his plus-one so as to not waste a ticket, a spot at the table, a good meal, and a golden opportunity at some potentially lucrative networking and schmoozing to keep her moving up the ladder at work. I bet s*x (e.g. bedding the client she went with or any of the contacts she made—-or even looking at them and being excited in that way—-never even crossed her mind the entire time she was at the event, or crashing on her female friend’s couch (remember, the friend was on her video call to OP, and co firmed OP’s wife was crashing at her place). OP needs to get TF over himself and learn to trust his wife. If he doesn’t, then the divorce will be a self-fulfilling prophecy, because he will do that plus other similarly s****y things that push her away, whether he’s conscious of doing it or not.
Gebidozo 3 months ago
He is saying he isn’t insecure and that he trusts his wife, then the whole post is about him being insecure and not trusting her. Another thing that stands out is his comment that his wife would k**l him if he goes out with another woman. Either their relationship is unhealthy on both sides, or maybe he’s projecting his own insecurities onto his wife. At any rate, either you trust your partner or you don’t. If you do, then the whole post is about nothing. If you don’t, it’s still about nothing, because you’ve got way bigger problems in your relationship than your partner going out with someone or not staying at home for one night.
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