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Dad At Breaking Point After Wife Refuses To Let Him Near Their Baby For Months
Whether or not you’ve ever held a newborn baby in your arms, most of us know how fragile they are. They cannot hold their head up properly, so you have to make sure to support it. They also have a self-destruct button on the top of their heads, also known as a soft spot or fontanelle. In other words, one has to be extra careful when dealing with them. But can one not be too careful?
In the following story, the mother of a newborn girl is very protective of her child. Maybe a little too much so as it’s starting to worry her husband, who barely gets any one-on-one time with his daughter. Scroll down to read the story in full.
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Having a baby is both extremely magical and extremely worrying
Image credits: Foto Phanatic (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, in some cases, the worry might even overshadow the magic. This is exactly what happened in the following story
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Courtney Kammers (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DangerousVegetableIg
This level of anxiety seems unhealthy
Just like many commentators pointed out, the author’s wife’s actions are not healthy. Her worry levels seem to be over the top, and many believe that she might be suffering from postpartum anxiety.
Postpartum anxiety is a common issue that many new moms face. That is around 10–15% of them. The symptoms include:
- Persistent sense of danger and racing thoughts
- Excessive worry of the baby’s safety, health, and development
- Trouble falling and staying asleep
- Constant agitated feeling, jitters, or even panic attacks
In the case of postpartum anxiety, the worry is usually unreasonable. Moms might feel like their child is not developing well, even though they are on track. They might be monitoring their baby’s heartbeat and breathing all the time because they are afraid of losing them. Every little cry induces fear as they believe the baby might be in pain.
Image credits: Sarah Chai (not the actual photo)
The mother might need professional help to overcome her worries
Postpartum anxiety is caused by a lot of factors that pile up on new mothers. That is stress, the lack of sleep, societal pressure, and relationship changes. This is all then emphasized by hormonal fluctuations that happen after birth. Managing it all can really be a lot.
One thing is for sure—a little bit of professional help can go a long way here. So, contacting a physician might be the best course of action. They might recommend talk therapy and mindfulness exercises. If the situation is more severe, they might also suggest to take anti-anxiety medications that work for breastfeeding mothers.
Either way, the couple has a lot to work through, but if they can be there for each other, things should work out.
Image credits: Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas (not the actual photo)
People in the comments showed a lot of support for the author
Some also advised on the next steps to take to remedy the situation
What do you think ?
PattyK 2 years ago
This is apparently NOT a post-partum problem. The wife threatened to withhold the baby while she was still pregnant. And her obsession with hubby’s clumsiness is either due to meanness or mental illness. She needs psychiatric help ASAP. And hubby should also contact a lawyer to establish his parental rights.
Zophra 2 years ago
Yeah, I thought the same thing. She sounded horrible even before the baby came.
Load More Replies...
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
If the wife refuses to fix her paranoia with a professional, this is a deal breaker, and it'll negatively affect the child too if she becomes a helicopter mom down the line.
V 2 years ago
I am not worried about down the line, I would be worrying about pp psychosis which could lead to very serious immediate threat to mother and baby.
Load More Replies...
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
It is your responsibility to get your baby away from that woman immediately. Your child is not safe.
Will Cable 2 years ago (edited)
If the mother is having a problem I wonder if at any time the child gets hurt by accident or by her own hand she will blame the father.
Tyke 2 years ago
He needs to speak to his in-laws (if they all have a good relationship) about this and get them on board. Together they need to try to get her to have counselling. She is ruining his chance to properly bond with his baby. She's going to burn out as she will be doing all the night feeds, cuddling, soothing, etc. And if he does leave her he can potentially use this as evidence that she isn't mentally stable and is stopping the child having a full relationship with their own Father.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This is beyond counseling. Medication is needed at this point. It's so irrational you can't use reasoning to fix it.
Load More Replies... Tams21 2 years ago
Even if the wife is worried about her husband dropping the baby, it's absolutely no reason not to let him near it. There's something going on that's beyond what she's saying - as the father, he has the right to hold his own child! The family need help and I hope someone local to him can help him get it.
Mechanician 2 years ago
He needs a neurological exam and possibly occupational therapy to workout his coordination and strength, but she needs an urgent psych evaluation. She has dangerously strong anxiety. It will distort all parenting! Definitely emergency level trouble. The two of them are potentially dangerousto the baby between them, which can't be fixed by divorce, yet it may be 100 percent fixable by medical care.
just me 2 years ago
I was thinking the same thing. If he really is excessively clumsy is could be a neuro issue and being evaluated could save him (and his daughter) some grief down the road. Regardless, what the mom is doing is cruel and irrational, and she needs help.
Load More Replies...
Marnie 2 years ago
I don't understand why we regularly see someone suggest, "Call your ____'s doctor." In other countries, does that work? In the US, you can't just call someone else's doctor and discuss them behind their back.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I'm a US psychiatrist. I certainly will not divulge any information without a signed release form. But you are free to tell me whatever information you wish. I may respond with I cannot tell you if I have seen that patient or not. Or with Thank You. And then hang up and ask for a welfare check. But I'd be more concerned with the safety of mother and child than getting sued. And in my perspective I have not "discussed" anything. When I'm dealing with these sort of ethical issues I always think about what I would want to be standing in front of a jury saying. I'd much rather say I tried to save mother and baby's life and technically didn't break HIPPA then to say I was so worried about HIPPA and myself I didn't even listen while I'm at some manslaughter trial for the mother.
Load More Replies... PattyK 2 years ago
This is apparently NOT a post-partum problem. The wife threatened to withhold the baby while she was still pregnant. And her obsession with hubby’s clumsiness is either due to meanness or mental illness. She needs psychiatric help ASAP. And hubby should also contact a lawyer to establish his parental rights.
Zophra 2 years ago
Yeah, I thought the same thing. She sounded horrible even before the baby came.
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 2 years ago
If the wife refuses to fix her paranoia with a professional, this is a deal breaker, and it'll negatively affect the child too if she becomes a helicopter mom down the line.
V 2 years ago
I am not worried about down the line, I would be worrying about pp psychosis which could lead to very serious immediate threat to mother and baby.
Load More Replies... Jared Robinson 2 years ago
It is your responsibility to get your baby away from that woman immediately. Your child is not safe.
Will Cable 2 years ago (edited)
If the mother is having a problem I wonder if at any time the child gets hurt by accident or by her own hand she will blame the father.
Tyke 2 years ago
He needs to speak to his in-laws (if they all have a good relationship) about this and get them on board. Together they need to try to get her to have counselling. She is ruining his chance to properly bond with his baby. She's going to burn out as she will be doing all the night feeds, cuddling, soothing, etc. And if he does leave her he can potentially use this as evidence that she isn't mentally stable and is stopping the child having a full relationship with their own Father.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This is beyond counseling. Medication is needed at this point. It's so irrational you can't use reasoning to fix it.
Load More Replies... Tams21 2 years ago
Even if the wife is worried about her husband dropping the baby, it's absolutely no reason not to let him near it. There's something going on that's beyond what she's saying - as the father, he has the right to hold his own child! The family need help and I hope someone local to him can help him get it.
Mechanician 2 years ago
He needs a neurological exam and possibly occupational therapy to workout his coordination and strength, but she needs an urgent psych evaluation. She has dangerously strong anxiety. It will distort all parenting! Definitely emergency level trouble. The two of them are potentially dangerousto the baby between them, which can't be fixed by divorce, yet it may be 100 percent fixable by medical care.
just me 2 years ago
I was thinking the same thing. If he really is excessively clumsy is could be a neuro issue and being evaluated could save him (and his daughter) some grief down the road. Regardless, what the mom is doing is cruel and irrational, and she needs help.
Load More Replies... Marnie 2 years ago
I don't understand why we regularly see someone suggest, "Call your ____'s doctor." In other countries, does that work? In the US, you can't just call someone else's doctor and discuss them behind their back.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I'm a US psychiatrist. I certainly will not divulge any information without a signed release form. But you are free to tell me whatever information you wish. I may respond with I cannot tell you if I have seen that patient or not. Or with Thank You. And then hang up and ask for a welfare check. But I'd be more concerned with the safety of mother and child than getting sued. And in my perspective I have not "discussed" anything. When I'm dealing with these sort of ethical issues I always think about what I would want to be standing in front of a jury saying. I'd much rather say I tried to save mother and baby's life and technically didn't break HIPPA then to say I was so worried about HIPPA and myself I didn't even listen while I'm at some manslaughter trial for the mother.
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